What The Hell 😭

I know i have requests to do im sorry but I keep getting sidetracked with new games i get when i havent finished the first one. Have this that i wrote bc the idea came to mind while i work on some freaky shit. Oh i thought i had school tomorrow but its friday (now sat) ok sick.

Mimi Mihawk

Mihawk x GN!Reader. Fluff. 380 words. Pre Cross guild but Post timeskip.

You walk downstairs, well rested after sleeping in. Your husband is ready at the table with a plate of food for you while he reads the newspaper with a glass of wine. A smile forms on your lips, he always ends up being able to predict when you’ll wake up so the food is freshly made. “It smells nice~”

“Sit.” Mihawk says, he’s a bit of a cold husband; but you know he loves you. After all, you didn’t miss how his posture straightened when you walked down the stairs or the way he relaxed his expression. As if seeing you awake and happy perked him up and improved his mood.

‘So cute.’ You think to yourself as you sit at the table, eating your breakfast while watching your husband read the newspaper. “Interesting?”

“Not much.” He sips on his glass of wine and you stand up to look at the paper since despite what he says he’s looked focused. Once you catch sight of it your smile widens, he’s looking at news about Zoro. You can tell his eyes are focused on the picture of the swordsman fighting, seemingly checking up on his form even in the still image. It makes your heart warm and you press your cheek to the top of his head affectionately.

“Mimi~ You’re happy~?” He sighs through his nose at that overly cutesy nickname that he’s told you over and over not to use. Yet despite his clear irritation he makes no attempt to stop you from rubbing your cheek against his like an affectionate cat. “Mimi~ Answer~~”

“I have no reason to answer the baseless accusation. Seeing how someone I personally trained fights is reasonable, it’s obvious he should be doing well.” His words don’t help him though, only making you happier as you kiss his cheek.

“He’s doing well so you’re happy~ I’m happy he’s doing good too~” You kiss his face and lips happily until he’s not even able to see the paper anymore. So irritating, which is exactly why he does nothing to stop it. It would just be too much of a bother if you cried or whined if he pushed you away, that’s the only reason. Ignore how he closes his eyes in relaxation or leans into it, you’re imagining things.

what a goober. Love this guy. I sentence him to 10 minutes of free time

Will You Still Love Me?

Zoro and Luffy x GN!Reader (seperate). 1236 Words. Reader turns into a worm dumb concept mb 🙏

You wake up feeling suffocated, everything is dark. You try to walk but can’t, as if your legs are tied together, your arms feeling trapped as well. It's only when you hear a groan and someone rolling over that you see light through a small hole. You look around, everything looks blurry. “Hello!?” you call out but your voice feels weird too. “HELLO!?” You roll around, seeing your fleshy pink body. No, this can’t be! “HELP!”

Zoro

Zoro hears your voice, quiet but panicked, screaming for help and his eyes shoot open. When he doesn’t see or feel you beside him he gets more panicked. Did you get kidnapped!? Lifting up the bedsheets, he spots a worm. “What the hell?” Did you leave because you saw a worm in the bed? He’ll have to toss it and get you back in bed. The swordsman grabs it, you, and you yelp.

“HELLO??” You yell out into the air, suddenly off-ground. “ZORO!? IS THAT YOU!?” It’s hard to see but you think you see green. He stares at the worm, fleshy thing that sounds suspiciously like you, for a few seconds as you wriggle around trying to figure out what’s going on.

“There’s no fucking way.” Zoro mumbles, eye wide. “(Y/n)?”

“Zoro! It is you! What’s wrong with me? I-I think I’m small! Are you holding me?” You lean your head down and tap his finger.

“You’re more than small, you’re a worm. The hell happened?” He speaks then thinks for a moment. “Shit, maybe I should drink less.” He suddenly puts you back down on the mattress and lays back down to sleep, he must be dreaming.

“Wha!? Zoro! Wake back up, I’m a worm!? Zoro wake up!” You roll over to him and try to crawl onto him, but it’s too hard. The blanket keeps folding around you and you get stuck. “Uue…” You flop back onto the mattress for the 3rd time and stretch out. beginning to lament. A few seconds pass of you softly crying before Zoro can’t help but get back up. Even if this is a dream and you’re a worm he can’t just leave you distressed. He picks you up and places you on his palm, though you’re still bummed. “Zoro…”

“Stop crying.” He grumbles, looking down at you.

“But I'm a worm.. does this mean we’re breaking up?” Zoro’s eyebrow twitches at your question.

“That’s what you’re worried about?” The swordsman sighs. “...No, we’re not.. breaking up.” He’s embarrassed saying this, at least thankful you can’t make out his expression.

“Are you sure?” You’re still laid down, depressed. He hates seeing you like this, even if you don’t look like you.

“Yeah.. uh.. Usopp and Franky can make you something to move around quicker.” He looks away, cheeks tinted, this is so stupid. “And I'll protect you. I can still see and hear you.”

“What about Luffy?” You don’t think you can fight like this. “What if I have to leave?”

“Luffy wouldn’t kick you out, he’s tried recruiting all kinds of people, he wouldn’t toss out a crewmate for being a—a worm.” He’s being comforting, despite the embarrassment. “Now go back to sleep, we’ll figure this out later.” He puts you back down, laying his back on the mattress quickly. You try to worm your way under the sheets, still feeling nervous. He can sense you continuing to shift around and you feel yourself being lifted up and placed on his chest without a word. Do worms sleep?

__________________

Your eyes open, what a strange dream, you try to get up and your arms feel tight together. Oh no. “I’m still a worm!?” You yell, waking Zoro up. You look at him and realize you’re at eye level, oh, his arm was just restricting you.

“Stupid.” He groans, loosening his hold. Relief flows through you. It was just a dream. You lay back down with a sigh, closing your eyes. Zoro glances at you, letting out a held breath. ‘They turned back to normal.’ It wasn’t a dream, who knows what it was, but Zoro would rather just pretend it didn’t happen. You’re back to normal anyway. He doesn’t need “comforted worm lover” to be in your mind.

Luffy

Luffy continues snoozing away next to you as you panic, slamming into something, his body. “Luffy is this you!? Luffy!” You continue slamming into it, looking for the hem of his shirt to bonk at his skin. Bad idea. He scratches the spot and rolls over straight onto you, you’re being crushed. You try to squirm around, screaming. Luffy’s eyes slowly open, noticing you’re “gone”.

“(Y/n)?” You continue to yell and he feels something underneath him, making him lift his body off of it and pick it up. It’s you. He can tell. “(Y/n)??”

“Luffy! I’m small, what's going on!?” He stares at you.

“You’re a worm.” His eyes start to twinkle before noticing you look a little weak, realizing what just happened. “I ALMOST CRUSHED YOU!”

“Yeah I think I took some damage…” You flop to the side and Luffy shoots out of bed, stretching his arm on the way out to grab his almost forgotten hat. He bursts into Chopper’s room with his hat on his head and worm in hand, startling the reindeer awake.

“CHOPPER (Y/N) IS A WORM AND I ALMOST CRUSHED THEM!”

“Wha..??” He’s still half asleep as Luffy snatches the doctor and places him on his feet. Luffy shows you to Chopper. “..Luffy this looks like a regular wo-”

“A-Am I really a worm?” Your small voice interrupts him and his eyes bug out of his head.

“AAAH YOU’RE REALLY (Y/N)!” He panics, running around. “DOCTOR! WAIT THAT’S ME.”

_____________

After your examination it’s concluded that you're not seriously injured, just startled and a bit out of it from the shock of being suddenly small and almost crushed. You lay there on the counter as Chopper puts his tools away, though the examination was mostly just some prodding with tweezers and a magnifying glass, Luffy staying with you. You still look down. “I…I can’t believe I’m a worm.” You sit(?) up and look down at your body. “..Does this mean I’m off the crew? That we’re breaking up?”

“What? Why?” Luffy tilts his head in confusion, his eyebrows furrowing.

“I can’t fight like this, I’m useless..” It’s sinking in and you droop. Luffy’s eyebrows furrow more, as if offended on your behalf.

“You’re not useless!” He carefully picks you up, cupping you in his hands to put you close to his face. “You’re still (Y/n)!”

“But!” You can’t even finish your sentence, too ashamed this is how you’ve been taken down. You suddenly feel straw underneath you. You’re on his hat.

“There!” He adjusts you so that you’re resting inside the cloth band with Rayleigh’s vivre card, smiling brightly. You can’t see it but you know. “Now we can stay together.” If you still had tear ducts you might be crying right now, but before you can say anything else your body turns hot and you fall out of the band, turning back to normal. Luffy is knocked to the ground along with you. You look down at your body as Luffy sits up, putting his hat back on his head.

“I’m back to normal!” Dang, he was actually starting to look forward to keeping you with him.

Had this in my docs for a while and just finished it up, felt like it would be funny if they werent just asked but put into the "would you still love me if i were a worm" situation. I would say more but my head is kinda going blank from the ill sore throat i have (Bleach fumes.)

I love shanks and luffy so much im gonna die fanfic isnt enough i need them to become real so i can consume them

Hey! In the politest way possible, could you tag the gender of the reader at the start of your posts? Like "x fem reader" instead of just "x reader" it's kind of a jumpscare to get half way in and then see a gendered term

Yeah mb I thought that since the ask had "her" in it I'd use gendered terms just in case and it would be obv. Little dumb of me I shouldve just put it anyway it takes like 2 seconds Ill put it next time and change the current to show it too

cant sleep because i keep thinking about all the things that ive been spoiled for and it pisses me off. I had a dream about it too. What i wouldnt gjve to have a way to erase my memory of thints. I dont even wanna write anything to do with shanks anymore. His character is ruined for me. I cant stop thinking about all the ways i wouldve been so happy and shocked at all the things about him that have been ruined. Fml

Since Halloween is just around the corner how would the straw hat crew react if reader dressed up as one of them for Halloween? (It could be Luffy or whatever straw hat crew member you think would be best?😅)

This was fun to make even if I kept getting stuck on it due to a bad mood. Also I couldn't decide on who so I asked an elder (my older brother) and he chose the swirly browed cook himself! Enjoy!

Fun(ny) Halloween

Sanji x Gender Neutral Reader. 1496 words. Platonic and co-starring the rest of the Strawhat crew.

October, a month of fall and most importantly, Halloween. There’s a problem though… you don’t know what to go as. You could pick a classic, vampire, mummy, some sort of animal or devil, but that’s boring. You want something cool but scary, easy to do would be a plus too. While thinking of this you’re suddenly jumpscared by Sanji bursting out of the kitchen onto the deck with food.

“Robin-chann!! I made the tea you asked for~~~~” He spins around and sets it down in front of her, swooning when she smiles at him with an elegant “Thank you.” Your hand goes to your heart, he’s always so passionate it’s startling.

‘Startling…’ An idea pops into your mind and you look at Sanji, he’s really just wearing a suit, right? It's mostly likely uncomfortable, but a regular suit is an easy thing to get! This is perfect, plans starting to form in your head as the day goes on. As soon as the Sunny docks at an island you run off, saying you have something to do that’s a surprise. Eyebrows you can just draw on, a blonde wig is easy to get too even if you have to style it a bit, now to get a suit. You walk into the store and look around, grabbing one and checking the price tag. Expensive! Sanji has good taste too so an accurate one to him would be even more than this… well it isn’t like you’re going to become him, you don’t need anything fancy. You get whatever suit is close enough to his and a regular dress shirt. For a tie, you could bribe Nami to borrow one from him. Perfect plan, you’re a genius. When you get back to the ship you borrow sewing tools from Usopp and a straightener from Robin since Nami would have charged you. Things are easy enough from there, adjusting the suit slightly to fit your body and cutting the wig. It isn’t… the best. Sanji is very well maintained, and you’re making this really late, but it’s enough to be recognizable as him.

_________________

October, the month of- hell yeah it’s Halloween! You excitedly grab your costume, putting it on and making some final touches to look nice. You do look nice in a suit, almost everyone does, but this is a bit of a hassle. “How does he just wear this all the time?” You mumble to yourself while putting it on. Now that you think about it, having a full suit on is the most peculiar for a pirate to wear. No matter, this’ll only be for a day anyway. Only thing left is to go show everyone.

__________________

“That’s your costume? Seriously? A mummy?” Nami, in a sexy farmer costume, says to Zoro. He’s just wearing bear ears and bandages on his face. “That’s the same as last year!”

“I’m a bear mummy this time, don’t you have eyes?” He points to the bear ears and Nami gives him a look of disgust. “You relaxing your face or something? Look a lot better like this.” Nami’s expression turns back to normal and Zoro flinches on purpose, causing her to kick him in the shin angrily. Chopper, who's dressed as a little ghost complete with a tenkan headband over the white sheet and black painted horns, runs around trying to catch a mechanical bee Usopp’s piloting. The sniper’s dressed as a beekeeper, but with actual mechanical bees in the hive on his back. He’s matching with Franky dressed as the queen, or king, bee. When Chopper catches it he strikes a pose and gives a “SUPER!!”

“Robin-Chwannn~ You look beautiful even in your costume.” Sanji swoons over Robin in her spider woman costume. No, not the superhero, an actual spider woman, she even grew arms on her back to keep the image. Brook goes to her as well, dressed as a magician.

“Yohoho~ Here’s my magic trick for two beautiful women.” He pulls two roses from his afro and gives one to her, then to Nami.

“You just pulled roses from your hair…” Usopp mumbles.

“Awee that was actually kinda sweet.” Nami admires the rose.

“Free of charge, though I do take panties as dona-” He gets hit on the head. Jinbe isn’t quite used to this sort of thing, but has learned his lesson about Nami already and chooses to silently sip his tea in his zombie costume courtesy of you and Luffy. Suddenly you walk out from inside the ship and Luffy, dressed as.. a pirate captain with a hook, notices you from his spot on the railing above.

“Huh? Sanji?” That brings attention to you, especially Sanji who turns around expecting for Luffy to ask him for food; instead seeing you dressed at him. He freezes with his mouth open, stopped in his tracks before he could yell at his captain that he was fed not too long ago.

“Oh. my. gods.” Nami stares at you and then bursts out laughing with Usopp. “Is this why you asked me to get a tie from h-him!?” She holds her stomach, bending down slightly as she laughs. You walk over to her.

“Well? Was it worth the investment, mademoiselle?” You say to her and she covers her mouth to muffle more laughing.

“Another shitty cook, this is a nightmare.” Zoro says in the background, which seems to snap Sanji out of it.

“Shut up, Mosshead!" They start to fight, the cook kicking down at Zoro as he blocks with his swords. Luffy keeps staring between you and Sanji.

“Wait, how are there two Sanjis?” He’s confused.

“One is clearly not me! How is this not obvious to you!?” The blonde points to himself, then motions to his whole body. Luffy stares at his face, then at yours. The both of you have swirly eyebrows.

“You have a twin? When did they get on the ship?” Sanji falls to his knees at Luffy’s obliviousness. “Which one of you is Sanji?”

“I’m Sanji.” You say with a charismatic smile, putting your hand on your face and flicking your hair.

“Ohhh okay.” Luffy nods.

“Don’t just believe them!” The real Sanji yells.

“I’m gonna pass out…!” Usopp clutches his chest, getting lightheaded from laughing too hard. Sanji looks at everyone laughing and gets a little bummed, you walk over to him.

“Well? How do I look? I actually worked pretty hard on this, though I don’t look as cool as you.” Sanji’s ears perk up from your compliment.

“Cool?” He pries for more of them.

“Yeah, you always look really put together. This helped me realize how tiring it must be to almost always have a suit on. It kinda makes me admire you.” His eyes twinkle and he smiles, trying to keep it calm and charismatic rather than overly happy.

“Hmm, I guess that’s true.” Nami mumbles to herself while trying to imagine having to wear a suit all the time. Sanji catches it immediately; but so do you. Right as he runs to her you follow suit and copy his swooning.

“Nami-Swann~! You really think so~~!!?” He finishes his statement and turns to you, shock on his face. Nami shivers a little.

“Yikes. Maybe the costume is more scary than funny.” She says and Zoro nods.

“Sorry, your behavior is kind of predictable.” You admit to Sanji, who’s feeling conflicted between liking that his love for women is known and being ashamed that he’s this predictable. Chopper puts a hoof on his leg for comfort, but he’s shaking slightly from also trying not to laugh. The cook turns to Robin right as you do.

“Robin-channnn do you think i’m pre-” He stops and so do you, then falls to his knees again. Robin can’t help it and tries to turn her head and muffle a small laugh with her hand, though it’s still heard. Luffy, who started laughing too, stretches down from where he was hanging and onto Franky.

“Sanji and Sanji, do it again!” He cheers for an encore, raising his arms up. It doesn’t make Swirly Brow feel much better.

“You’re still a better cook than me. I can’t copy your talents.” You crouch down to Sanji’s level but he looks away, pouting and upset that he’s the butt of the joke. “Y’know I wouldn’t have put this much effort into the costume if I was ashamed of you.” You stand back up and strike a pose. “So why don’t you teach me some tricks so I can make this more accurate?” This seems to cheer him up and he stands, looking around. Well, these are his friends, and it’s not like it’s unfunny.

“Well,” He clears his throat. “your hair isn’t parted correctly.” His hands go to your wig and smooth it out as you smile back. If the people he cares for are happy, so is he.

“I think they look better.” Zoro states and Sanji attacks him. Zoro is the exception.

I POSTED A CHAPTER AND THE APP JUST FLUBBED AND DELETED THE WHOLE THING!? Not even back to drafts just deleted it 😭 damn. Good thing i write in docs but I have to format the whole fuckin thing again. Fuck my stupid chud life

edit: oh it did post nvm enjoy chapter 6 guys

If you want something to laugh/get mad over there are somehow trumpies in this comment section getting mad at their own lies they made up. Straight up denial not even joking. Like some of these gotta be ragebait

Trump voters on tiktok are EXTREMELY mad about the following:

They just found out what tariffs are

They just found out what denaturalization is

They (particularly black and Hispanic trump voters) just found out that other trump voters are racist

Leftists and liberals don't want to be their friends (they are furious about this)

Leftists keep telling them they hope they get what they voted for (they are really mad about this too)

Sorry hate is a strong word tbh im not really mad or anything either it was less of a hate and more of an "annoyed" or something. There's nothing to debate since i know this was silly, im more talking about people in general since i wasn't replying directly to you i was talking to the person agreeing and talking with me

Sometimes I think about how if Shanks didn’t fucking fumble so hard, him and Buggy would have been an insane duo.

Buggy and Shanks together as pirates would have been a diabolical pair. Gay and powerful.

I can’t even imagine how much cooler Shanks would have been if he took showers and wasn’t an alcoholic lol. The world couldn’t comprehend an even cooler shanks so oda had to nerf him.