Deranged Post Number One

@lol-whyidumb if you don't simp for a fictional character for a week, i'll cook you whatever food is available in my skill tree

I'm only like level 4 so play nice

ok I didn't see the G up top or the bullet points at first so I thought it was an article called "Gambling Gender Confusion Getting Run Over Graffiti"

deadass took me two minutes to realize what a fool I was

remember the four G’s

not gonna lie, the last three lines could be an excellent incorrect quote

actually the entire thing could be an incorrect quote

sw would have been so much shorter if one clone decided to murder palpatine in his office because. who are they gonna arrest. sadly the suspect looks like 1000+ other men and all of them forgot what they did last friday night

at this point they don't really give a fuck

I can’t look at older Phoenix and Edgeworth without dying inside

those cult members are going to find out why she is referred to as "dreaded Persephone" the hard way

the general idea is this: zag is kidnapped by a surface cult who think his blood will give them eternal life, and persephone is the only one who can go far enough afield to find him.

(per wikipedia: goddess of spring, flowers, death, life, vegetation and destruction)

you could hear the creaking, bloodthirsty voice, calling out to you by name. you could hear his yellow smile, tongue licking his lips at the thought of finally getting to the main course.

your friends? simple appetizers. not as filling but the slasher ached for more and he was ready to enjoy his meal.

oh, how naive he is.

a dark grin slides across your face, eyes red with hunger and teeth gnashing with delight. did he not know? did he not know what a real monster is, how a real monster would hunt?

poor, poor man.

oh, what a shame it will be to tear his throat out, cut open his gut, and feast on his intestines, becoming drunk on his blood and the flesh of his lungs.

oh, what a shame it will be.

you slowly open the closet door, your stomach growling in impatience.

it was time for the hunt to begin.

It started as a spur of the moment trip with your friends. Despite your best efforts you are the only one left alive and the slasher is closing in on your position. While you lament the loss of your friends now that you are alone… Now you can show the slasher what a REAL monster looks like.

my gaydar turns on for the entirety of the movie to see how much

✨ G A Y ✨

I can detect before I overload. Once I find a character with a 40% chance or higher of being gay, my gaydar plays "Fast" by Saweetie.

I regret nothing.

Person A: Why do I hear police sirens behind us?

Person B, holding up bags of money: I accidentally robbed a bank

Person A, having a stroke: HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY ROB A BANK-

the day you say sorry to the air is the day i die

i should say sorry to the air, i take too much of it-

shit, not again

i literally just woke up at 2 am wtf

bi panic initiating in 3...2...1

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH—