Some Of The Simplest, Best, Ftw Advice Ever.

If you’ve been thru a phase of your life feeling hopeless, depressed, broken, scared, suffering pain that you didn’t believe would ever stop, or having your whole will to go on eaten away by something devastating that happened to you, and you were alone and abandoned and ashamed of feeling this pain, I want you to know that it wasn’t okay.

Every human, especially young humans, can get overwhelmed and devastated and drown in their dark thoughts and fears, and nobody deserves to go thru that alone. If you were living close to other people, and they failed to notice, or ignored your state, or tried to make sure that you feel guilty for it, ashamed of it, deserving of it, or responsible for it, that wasn’t okay. That’s not what’s supposed to happen. Human society isn’t built on kicking someone when they’re down. Humans are not supposed to see someone suffering and deteriorating and then go ‘serves them right’ or ‘it’s their own fault’. That’s despicable.

You were not supposed to be left alone in your pain. You were supposed to get help and support. Even if you couldn’t imagine how that support and help would look like, if you couldn’t believe you deserved any, even if you felt so worthless and unimportant that taking someone’s time and energy would have felt horrible and selfish to you, you still deserved help and support during the worst period of your life.

Someone should have checked up on you. Someone should have made sure that you don’t spend all or most of your time alone, drowning in your own fears and pain, neglected. Someone should have offered you conversation and reassurances, even if they wouldn’t have fixed the underlying issue. You shouldn’t have been going thru it alone and unchecked. Someone should have taken measures to make sure you know you’re cared for, that people are going to put an active effort into changing your situation for the better. You should have been reminded, with actions and words, that you are still lovable, that you’re desired to be a part of society, that you’re not something to leave behind in a room until you either get your shit together or fail and be forgotten. You should have never feared for your relevance or your value while already suffering from everything else. You shouldn’t have been left to your own devices, with your social needs completely unfulfilled, with society turning their entire back on you.

That kind of situation makes you feel alone for a long, long time. That’s the kind of thing that makes you lose hope in people, and it should have never come to it. You should never have been in so much pain and alone in it. You never deserved that kind of cruel and contemptuous abandonment. You should never have been thru something that makes other people feel like a threat or a dead end. Your problems should never have felt so large that your place in the world your humanity and would be revoked over them.

“You tell me that it’s a cruel world and we’re all just running in circles. I know that. I’ve been on this earth just as many days as you. When I choose to see the good side of things, I’m not being naïve. It is strategic and necessary. It’s how I’ve learned to survive through everything. I know you see yourself as a fighter. Well, I see myself as one too. This is how I fight.”

EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE (2022) dir. Daniel Kwan, Daniel Scheinert

Neil Gaiman: I loved Terry’s craft. Terry became, somewhere in there, before the arrival of J. K. Rowling, the bestselling novelist in the UK.

Tim Ferriss: Tens of millions of copies.

Neil Gaiman: Millions upon millions of copies. This was before that. This was, you know, he’d just retired from the electricity board to become a full time writer.  I knew how good he was, and I’m like, “This is a fabulous apprenticeship.” So, even though I didn’t have the time, I said yes, and my life, when I look back on it, I’m just really glad that I was 27, 28 when I was doing this, because I couldn’t do it now, I mean, just physically and mentally couldn’t do it now, but I would write Sandman until midnight, I would write The Books of Magic from midnight until about 2:30, and I would write Good Omens from 2:30 until about 6 a.m., and then I would get up at one o’clock in the afternoon and my answering machine would have a little blinking light on it and I would press the button and the tape would rewind and then Terry Pratchett’s voice would come out of it and he’d go, “Get up, get up you bastard! I’ve just written a good bit!”

- Interview with Tim Ferris 2019

We are now in the two last months of the year, and I hope they will bring wonderful moments. I also just wanted to remind you that there is still time if there it something you have been meaning to do this year, but haven’t gotten around to for whatever reason.

I also wanna say that if this year has been difficult and you do not feel like you did enough, then please be extra kind to yourself in these months. Sometimes when we feel like we have been doing too little or nothing, it is because we have been fighting or some things has been out of our control. Both those scenarios are rough. And I want to remind you of that, of how exhausting it can be, of how strong you are, of how loved you are and of how enough you are.

I hope this last part of the year brings you ease and leaves you more hopeful than you think it will. 🌸

Shout-out to everyone who is trying right now…Trying to do the right thing. Trying to stay strong. Trying to hold on. Trying to let go. Trying to love themselves. Trying to find happiness. I see you. I'm there too. We're in this together.

True for me, true for you 💓

You deserve to be seen, you deserve to be loved as you are right now, not by proving how useful you can be to someone because you’re not a machine. You’re not an object. You’re just another human, as valuable as anyone else.

To the trans person reading this,

You are worthy, you are valid and you are loved. You matter so so much, and if you are in a enviroment that is not good for your health, I hope you get to be somewhere better soon. I hope you have people that support you, but if you haven’t yet, know that there are people out there who will love and support you. There are people out there with warm hearts and gentle eyes that will welcome you into their lives with open arms and always have a spot for you at the table. You deserve to live a full and authentic life. 🌸

Yesterday I almost cried because my baby cousin ran up to my grandmother and was like. “Ha! Buhbuh ba ha.” And she said okay you want to show me something? And he led her over to the garden patch and crouched down and pointed at rocks and plants and was like. “Ah. Habah ba ah” as she listened attentively.

And I was like that happened 1,000 years ago. Probably 10,000 years ago. Maybe 100,000. The youngest human in a group went to the oldest one and said to the best of their ability “come see.” And the adult went.