Crossed Bmi 21 In The Right Direction Today. Can't Wait Being Under 20. I Eat Now Three To Four Moderate

Binging, the next step

I was binging yesterday, a social occasion where I had some pressure. Still ate ",only" 1500 cals the whole day. But simply - I did not like it at all. No emotions. I even did not gate it. Simply.. meaningless. It feels so good. Food and I am on two different planets

We're not like them. We're @na butterflies 🦋

- delicate, weightless, untouched by the heaviness of the world. While others sink,

we float. While they feed their cravings, we feed our willpower. We live on empty, on

quiet, on control. Our bodies are fragile, but our minds are sharp. They'll never

understand this beauty — the beauty of bones, the art of fading. We are not broken.

We are becoming. 🦋

Crossed 55 kg and bmi 21 in the right direction after 84 hours fasting. But have a sore throat. No fever. How are your experiences with fasting when having a cold. I want to continue, basically

quiet rules for quieter days

– choose discipline before desire. let control be the first bite.

– brush your teeth, then once more. mint tells hunger to wait outside.

– cold water fills the places where want once lived.

– chew until your thoughts dissolve, not the craving.

– let the scent satisfy. the will to say no is the real indulgence.

– move your limbs until the noise fades. burn to remember you’re alive.

– stand beneath cold water. reset. rinse the need from your skin.

– scroll the still bodies, the soft lines, the quiet frames. become the goal.

– let bitter coffee kiss your throat. green tea if the silence needs steeping.

– curl into the ache. breathe through it. you’ve done this before.

– remind yourself: it’s not about food. it’s about becoming less.

Essentially I want to be less. Diminished. 20 kg of me are not needed. I want to be less visible. Paradoxically I find a friend(s) here who sees me. This makes me happy. So I want to disappear while being happy to be seen.

It is only a change of the mindset. Non-Eating is normal. Eating is - not normal. Pathological. Addiction. Disgusting. Minimal Eating is no joy, but only serves to keep me alive at the absolute edge, the absolute minimum

All I need is -5kg less and I can breathe

-10kg less and I can smile

-15kg less and I can live

-20kg less and can break free and dream forever

Early in the morning, second day fasting. I am happy. I am not alone in that. I feel the warmth of doing it together, living it together. Being less, purging away all superficial, all unecessary. Being pure at the end. Feeling being loved and being able to love.

new rules just for me:

(im writing these here cause i hide tumblr on my phone so no one can find it)

1. no more than 500 cals a day

2. no liquid calories only water

3. vitamins and supplements every single day no exceptions

4. 10,000 steps a day

5. if youre eating a meal dont finish it

6. no snacking

7. home workouts every night before bed

🤍🤍🤍

the feminine urge to stay gone. be unseen, be unavailable, be unheard of. disappear.