Stede: Sometimes, People Ask Me How I Manage My Crew So Easily. The Answer Is, I Don't.

Black Pete: If you ever see me re-parking 500 times, mind your own business.

Jim: [sneaking around, trips and falls]

Spanish Jackie: Who's there?!

Jim: Nobody, fuck off!

Oluwande: Tell me your wildest fantasy.

Jim: I'm on Wheel of Fortune and I spin the wheel so hard it lights on fire.

Oluwande: I meant like-

Jim: Everyone claps.

Stede: And now it's time for some witty back and forth banter!

Izzy: [screams with rage]

Stede: I don't know where to go with that.

Blackbeard: Gotta keep it profesh, you know?

Izzy: Yes, because that's what all professionals do: they call it 'profesh.'

Lucius: I have an empty notebook and no idea what to put in it. Any suggestions?

The Swede: Put spaghetti in it.

Lucius: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except you.

Roach: Put spaghetti in it.

Lucius: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except-

Frenchie: Put spaghetti in it.

Lucius: I am current-

Wee John: Put spaghetti in it.

Lucius: i am not longer taking suggestions

Oluwande: Almost hit Buttons with my car today. I was pulling up to the house and apparently he didn't see me. So this guy darts out in front of me and I hit the brakes-

Oluwande: And he fucking dabs.

Oluwande: His automatic reaction to almost getting hit by a car was to just fucking dab. His LAST MOMENTS would have been a sick ass dab.

Oluwande: i'm worried about him

Stede: Is he always like this?

Blackbeard: Oh, yeah, you shoulda seen The Great Jenga Tantrum of 1710.

Izzy: IVAN BUMPED THE TABLE AND YOU KNOW IT.

Ed: [deep sigh]

Ed: [takes off cowboy hat and plops down in the dirt]

Ed: [starts filling his cowboy hat with little rocks]

Ed: Feelings, huh?

Lucius, holding the door open: After you.

Izzy: Nah. I never let anyone walk behind me. 7 out of 10 attacks are from the rear.

Lucius: Okay, but that still leaves a 30% chance I'll attack you from the front.

Izzy: Yeah, but it'd be easier to stop. Or I could counter it-

Lucius: [slaps him]