Things That Seem Small Can Be Really Brave:

“Close some doors. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they no longer lead somewhere.”

— Paulo Coelho

Advice your mother should’ve given you.

Stick by your word and stand firm with your boundaries. Don’t allow people to poke, probe, and push your limits, boundaries, and no zones after you told them not to. Don’t be fooled, all people need is one warning to get the memo that something is off limits, but no one will respect a person who is all talk and no action. Put action behind your words, no one will take your words seriously if you don’t, empty threats get you nowhere. People only continue trying you when they know/think they can get away with it. Say it with me, first times a warning, second times a done deal. Don’t disrespect yourself by going against your boundaries and personal code. 

Don’t hold the younger you to the standards you hold yourself to today. You didn’t know as much. You were in a different headspace, with different things affecting and scaring you, facing challenges that seemed big at the time. Maybe you were even lonelier. What’s important is that you know better now, and you know more now. That’s something to move forward with, not something to curse the past with.

You’re responsible for your own development. You don’t have to wait until others forgive or validate you. You don’t have to hold yourself to an impossible standard to ‘prove’ that you’re a better person. All you have to do is decide that you are and back that up with actions, because what truly makes you a good person is the fact that you care about being one. Not others telling you that you are.

Very well said

I used to think it was important to have common interests with the person that you are in a relationship with but now I think it is more important to be similar in other aspects. like how kind you are. how you treat the people you care about, how you treat strangers. how you deal with anger. how you deal with pain. and not necessarily dealing with all these things the same way but being perceptive enough to understand what action each situation calls for. it’s important for both people to be on the same page about what that action should be. it’s important to me to have that kind of synchrony.

obviously love isn’t easy, but there’s something to be said about finding the person that makes it feel that way. conversation is effortless, and silence is not uncomfortable. seeing them brings you a sense of peace you didn’t realize you were missing. conflict is not the end of the world because you know it can be resolved. trust is a given and you don’t have to wonder how they feel about you. it may not always be easy, but you know without a doubt that it’s worth it. it’s truly a beautiful thing.

And there will come a day when you suddenly go, oh. That’s why. That’s why it was worth living and sticking around. I understand.

And then the moment passes, and you might forget again. But that’s okay, because life is an abundance of such moments. They will come back <3

Today's evening sky

#sky #evening #clouds

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.