After Careful Research I've Discovered That ...

Being autistic is such an weird experience because I just spent an hour fuming around the kitchen making dinner and trying not to break anything. Then the moment I held big cat (comfort item be praised) I just started crying. Now I'm eating dinner with a massive gray cat, who is a short king and I love him.

I will always remember that at one point, somewhere on the internet, there was a picture of my favorite substitute teacher gently holding a burger in the palm of his hand.

I found the Baron.

While at an airshow (the most fun and autistic event I've ever been to) I stumbled upon a bear dressed in pilots clothes, specifically a bomber jacket, goggles and scarf. Like the outfits of WW1 era pilots. After some timeline checking I present to you the story of the Baron and Baroness.

The baroness has been a suffragette for many years now, while it has been hard work she feels they are close. The Baron fears he might have to take up arms in the great war, while out one day he watches the suffragettes protests. One woman full of determination catches his eye, he admires her courage and spirit, wishing he too could be like that. But as she walks past him, he just watches. The Baron believes he will never see this powerful lady again. As chance would have it they meet once more, a smitten Baron tries his best to woo the Baroness. While his natural wit fails him, his charming attitude and sincerity has the baroness fall in love with him all the same. The war looming it the background of their happy ending. the Baron deems it his responsibility to fight for Britain. Tearful goodbye are shared; the Baron reassures his beloved that, if it weren't for her, he would not have the bravery to fight at all. Before he flies off in to battle the baroness give him a locket with a picture of her. "Keep it close," she says, "it will keep you safe." The baron places it in the pocket closest to his heart. "I win the war for Britain, you win the war for women." They part, and the story ends. We are left wondering; will the allies win the great war? Will the suffragettes procure their rights? And what you are wondering, will they ever see eachother again?

I saw a doll at the thrift store the other day, it was a light brown bear dressed in fancy dress, it was a beautiful maroon with lace. She had a hat on as well. A lovely sufferagette, standing alone atop a dusty wooden shelf. She reminded me of the baroness. Noble, breath taking, yet alone.

I don't have a time machine but there are some kids who I walk with (we walk along the same path when going home) and I make sure they know I'm listening. There's one who's voice echos off buildings, and she's reminds me of myself a lot. I hope no one destroys that spirit of hers, you do your best kid.

christ sometimes I just wanna. steal a time machine & go back & sit down next to my 9-year-old self and just like. let them pull out their pokemon card binder & gush about their holographic gyarados or whatever. I'd just smile & ask questions about motherfukcing bulbasaur & tell my kid self that I thought they were a neat person, & someday they'd find other people who thought so too.

like i'm a grown adult who honestly finds most kids stuff boring, but. damn if i could go back & hang out with my baby self & listen to them ramble...just so they knew someone was listening. i would in a heartbeat. thinking about u kid

One of the games I like to play when I’m driving or whatever is to try and come up with the most out there paper titles based on the song stuck in my head.

Today’s is “Are YOU sleeping, Brother John?: a feminist deconstruction of the Christofascist child indoctrination in Frére Jacques.” and I might have to stop playing cause how will I ever top that?

Me at me: "why am I always so tired I feel like I can't do anything, I'm so lazy."

Also me: I am in band -constantly- Monday and Thursday afternoon, Tues and Thursday mornings, I have school and homework and I procrastinate because my brain says fuck you. I'm in a semi functional household, I'm grieving the loss of a love one, I just got a new dog. I always push myself academically because if I got taught that if im not the best then I'm nothing.

You can be doing nothing sometimes, drink some tea, read a good book, paint a simple picture, write a dumb poem, make a bad joke. It's okay, I'm doing my best and I'm enough.

Sometimes it doesn't even need to be related to the inspiration! One time I really needed to pee, and that inspired a slice of life, coming of age story about a group of JDs in the modern day. And pee comes into it a total of one times.

My inspirations for making all my stories:

I'm doing an action and that action could be a story!

I'm listening to a song and that song could be a story!

I'm feeling an emotion and that emotion could be a story!

I'm copeing using escapism!

I like this story and can't get it out of my head!

I have an issues with this story and want to fix it!

I can't sleep!

I sat there in an almost peaceful silence, if not for the thoughts swishing back and forth in my mind like a broken washing machine, I'd have thought it tranquil. I felt myself choke, I choke and all the thoughts I couldn't swallow. If I felt any better I would have made a joke there, I'm sure you can fill in the blanks. I tried adjusting, maybe the thoughts would disappear like that. They didn't, they bubbled menacingly, they twirled in circle infornt of my eyes. A shuddering gasp for air broke the silence. And then another. A few more as my vision blurred in the dim lighting. It didn't sound like me, rather, like someone else was there, someone else's desperate grabbing for air, someone else's breif and lonely wimper, not my own. I tried to gather myself, I didn't even know what I was crying for. I needed something to block out the quiet cries, before they became racking sobs. Something to put the incessant thoughts to rest, if only for a while.

Also!, I have to mention putting exclamation points after or before periods and commas to portray different emotions!

You know what? I'm going to put commas and periods wherever I feel like a break or stop would be if I was saying this.