I Sat There In An Almost Peaceful Silence, If Not For The Thoughts Swishing Back And Forth In My Mind
I sat there in an almost peaceful silence, if not for the thoughts swishing back and forth in my mind like a broken washing machine, I'd have thought it tranquil. I felt myself choke, I choke and all the thoughts I couldn't swallow. If I felt any better I would have made a joke there, I'm sure you can fill in the blanks. I tried adjusting, maybe the thoughts would disappear like that. They didn't, they bubbled menacingly, they twirled in circle infornt of my eyes. A shuddering gasp for air broke the silence. And then another. A few more as my vision blurred in the dim lighting. It didn't sound like me, rather, like someone else was there, someone else's desperate grabbing for air, someone else's breif and lonely wimper, not my own. I tried to gather myself, I didn't even know what I was crying for. I needed something to block out the quiet cries, before they became racking sobs. Something to put the incessant thoughts to rest, if only for a while.
More Posts from Thechaoticgentleman and Others
I'm never sure if people believe me when I say I'm empathic because I can be quite the dink. But just look at me. I'm a doofus. I just put my large stuffed animals (whom I always sleep with) on the ground, gave em a pillow and wrapped em in a balnket.
Anyways, I was right.
I'm not googling this just to prove you wrong, Im googling this because you mentioned a topic I'm very interested in
Once again reminding you to lock your doors. It's zucchini season.
Guys don't leave your doors open, Its zucchini season.
I was working on a possible comic and-
He's still there
I erased him but..
He won't leave
He'll never leave.
I'm not googling this just to prove you wrong, Im googling this because you mentioned a topic I'm very interested in
Where are the rushed diary entries, as you run with friends to a playground. Where is the harsh, impulsive attitude. When did it all become so soft? This is not at any fault of light, but at the fault of us for not properly documenting the dark. Early morning is not complete without the stinging cold air, tea is not without it's bitterness. When did we start writing only the delicate? You cannot comprehend love without the suddenness of it all, no matter how slow you can try to take it there is the unmistakable surprises love must give someone. Without the impulsivity, the dark, the sudden, everything becomes diluted. And much less true.
Jonathan Gleason was my friend who committed suicide just over a month ago… and I just found out that he wrote this 800+ page analysis textbook. By himself. Because he was teaching analysis and he was dissatisfied with the textbook he was assigned so he just…. wrote his own.
Even if you haven’t done any math… please just take a look at this. Scroll through it as fast as you like. It’s incredible that he put so much work and so much free time into this… I’m still in awe and I really want everyone to see it. In particular, if you want a good laugh, look at chapter 5 of the analysis textbook. The opening paragraph is SO Johnny.
He also wrote a linear algebra textbook, here.
When someone else says they had a "main charcater moment" : I climbed to the top of this hill as the sun was setting and it was magical
Me: I got so distracted biking home that I fell into a pile of leaves and knocked off my bike chain and made my handle bars crooked :D
there's is a person on YouTube who's voice I know well. If I ever think something in their voice I know this a worthy post.
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-Trans autistic guy with bad sense of humor- -he/him- -Special Interests: Music, History, Anthropology-
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