Bruce Is A Very Independent Person, Always Sure Of Himself, Mature And Responsible. Behaves Like A Grown

I feel like Dick, Jason (or Tim) ans Duke would pretend to be power Rangers bc of their colors.

They would land next to Batman and perform a series of poses and say "I command the power of everything blue, Power Ranger Blue!" One by one just to be annoying.

Yeah batfam shenanigans

Soap: Lt, We are ready to leave whenever your are. Car is loaded. *image attached*

Lt: Jesus Christ Soap. I’m on my way out.

Soap: 🫡

Lt: Is that a fucking dildo?

Soap: It’s actually called a rabbit sir 😁

Lt: Where’s Price?

Soap: He’s letting Gaz and I have our own car 😮‍💨

Soap: HEY. WHY DID PRICE JUST SHOW UP AND TAKE THE KEYS ☹️

We all know and like our bashful, shy, nervous and righteous superman. The sweet man that is always careful with everyone, makes sure he doesn't curse or yell, is a nervous bean when it comes to sex and sex talk.

But ya know what I like more?? Unhinged, slutty, pouty mouth Superman that only gets like this when he's triggered or around the bats and birds. Bc yes for me Clark is poetic at dirty talking, can talk like a true Texans farmer, curse like someone stole his cow and Bruce absolutely loves it.

*On JL meeting, clark stressed and tired bc of the Planet, his kids and the bat kids, one thread away from breaking*

Green lantern: *yapping about an idea that makes no sense*

Batman: *ignoring and tapping away on his tablet*

Flash and Green arrow: *whispering to each other*

Superman: *head hurting and tired of everyone bullshit* hal, for the love of fucking God can you shut the fuck up if u have nothing good to say? Jesus! Say something intelligent for once!

Hal shuts up looking incredulous, diana looks amused and bart and olliver look slightly scared. And if batman softly curses because he feels his face heating up, it ain't no one business.

I have been watching seven kids all day long and need to project the trauma of parenting somewhere, so... Batfam quotes :D

—

Bruce, half awake in a sitting room: Please, stop.

Jason, trying to suffocate Tim with a pillow: GIVE ME THE REMOTE!

Tim: *Muffled swears*

Damian, helping Jason: WE WANT TO WATCH MEAN GIRLS!

Cass, tackling Jason from behind: OFF OUR BROTHER!

Dick: Guys please, the doctor said we had to keep Tim's blood pressure down!

Duke: Man, we need to keep all our blood pressure down, he ain't special.

Bruce: Please, don't kill your brother.

Stephanie: Guys, he stopped fighting.

Dick: OH MY GODS YOU KILLED TIM!?

Damian: Oh no.

Cass, kneeing Jason in the stomach and grinning as he falls to the ground:

Duke: Nah, I think he just passed out.

Bruce: If any of you are dead I'm going to enter a depressive episode that will result in one of you becoming Batman by the end of it.

Dick: OH MY GOD TIM COME BACK TO LIFE I CAN'T DO THIS AGAIN!

Damian: DRAKE!?

Cass: I will find a Lazarus pit.

Jason: Nah, I'll just call Talia.

Duke: Y'all, he's breathin', I think he just fell asleep.

Stephanie, checking his pulse:

Stephanie: Yeah, he did. Classic Tim.

Bruce, under his breath: Thank god, I like that one.

—

Tim: Bruce, I have to tell you something.

Bruce: Yes, Tim?

Tim: . . . I'm bi.

Bruce: . . . Didn't you already come out to me?

Tim: Wait, what!? No!

Bruce: . . . No, no you did, you were... The ginger. The ginger one with arrows.

Tim: That was Dick, B.

Bruce: No, Dick wasn't a ginger, Jason was before the hair dye—

Tim: Different timeline, also that was Dick and Roy!

Bruce: Didn't Jason date Roy?

Tim: Bruce. Jason dated Roy, Dick dated Roy, they both dated Roy

Bruce: Oh, oh! Yes, of course... Wait, no, Dick was with the alien.

Tim: Kori and Dick broke up, Bruce.

Bruce: No, he was with the— the kryptonian.

Tim: Bruce, that's you.

Bruce: No, no, Connor.

Tim: Nobody in this family has ever dated Kon, and he's my friend!

Bruce:

Bruce: You aren't dating Connor? Oh, yes, you are with... Stephanie.

Tim: She and I broke up, she's with Cass now, I'm dating Bernard!

Bruce: The... Speedster?

Tim: Oh my god, Bruce, this isn't complicated... Bart is the speedster, Bernard is a human, regular human, not a vigilante or anything, and he's my old high school friend. We are dating now.

Bruce: Oh, yes. Okay. Sorry, I haven't updated the chart since Jason...

Tim: You had a chart to keep track of your kids dating history? When you had two kids!?

Bruce: Dick was complicated, and Jason dated a girl named Rena.

Tim: Again, different timeline, Bruce, they got back together in this one though (because op said so.)

Bruce:

Bruce: What?

Tim: Rena and Jason are dating but Jason also occasionally dates Roy at the same time, Dick is gonna get back together with Kori eventually, we're just waiting for the writers to get their sh&# together, I'm with Bernard, Stephanie and Cass are dating, this isn't a complicated thing, at all.

Bruce:

Bruce: I need to update my charts.

—

TV show host: So, can you introduce your kids for us?

Bruce:

Bruce: Yes, uh, of course.

Bruce, pointing to Dick: My eldest, Richard Grayson.

Bruce, pointing to Tim: My second, Jason— wait, no, he's dead. That one died.

Tim: Please never mistake me for Jason again, I just had several flashbacks.

Bruce: Yes, sorry, no, this is my third son, Tim.

Bruce, pointing to Cass: My daughter, Cassandra, she likes art—

Cass: No, ballet.

Bruce: What? No, Tim likes ballet.

Tim: I hate being the middle child so much.

Damian: Technically Cain is the middle.

Cass: No, Tim likes skateboards and dungeons and dragons.

Bruce: Okay, haha, sorry. So, uh, my youngest...

Damian:

Bruce: That I...

Damian:

Bruce: Adopted..?

Damian: WHAT!?

Bruce: Wait, no, Jason was Talia's, so—

Damian: HE WAS FOUND NEAR A DUMPSTER!

Bruce: Oh, then Tim—

Tim: SERIOUSLY!?

Dick: Bruce this is actually concerning.

Bruce: One of you I made! Cass!?

Cass, visibly concerned: Really?

Bruce: Okay, so, uh...

TV host: Should... Do you need a moment?

Bruce: No, no, I have five children— wait, no, six. Wait, did I adopt Duke?

Dick: No, he lives with his Mom again, she got better, but you didn't even adopt me so why's it matter?

Bruce:

Bruce: I FORGOT TO ADOPT YOU!?

Dick: WHAT DO YOU MEAN FORGOT!?

Tim: I hate this family...

Cass, patting his back:

Damian: At least he remembered your names!

Jason, laughing from his apartment:

—

Tim and Cass sitting at the bat computer:

Bruce, walking over to press a kiss to Cass' hair:

Tim: ???

Bruce, walking over to Cass, patting her shoulder: Good work, son. Get to bed soon.

Cass: . . ?

Bruce, walking away:

Tim: Did he..?

Cass: Again. Yes.

—

Bruce, to Alfred: Alfred, please, I need help with Christmas again.

Alfred: Master Bruce, you have itemized lists of each villain, you can recall them all and memorize all their weaknesses and lives. You cannot do the same for your own children?

Bruce: Please, Alfred, don't make me feel bad. One of them asked for an explosive and I don't know which!?

Alfred: That could very well be several of them...

—

Bruce, walking into the kitchen where all the kids are sitting: Alright, come on Tim, time for patrol.

Tim: Why aren't you going with Robin?

Bruce: You are Robin?

Damian: Father, I am Robin.

Bruce: Why'd I do that?

Damian: What do you mean WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?

Dick: I did that, actually.

Bruce: Why? What did Tim do?

Damian: WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!?

Bruce: Nothing, nothing, I just... Tim was Robin, last I checked.

Jason: Bruce, what's the order of your Robin's?

Bruce:

Bruce: It... Okay, Dick,

Dick: Yes..?

Bruce: Then... Stephanie.

Jason: Wow.

Bruce: What!? She died! Two of you died and came back!

Damian: I also died.

Bruce: What? No, you came after Stephanie.

Damian: Yes.

Bruce: Alright, so, Dick, Stephanie—

Jason: REALLY!? I did not die in your arms for this. I wish I died in someone's else's arms. F-#% you.

Bruce: No, no! I'm sorry, you're right, Dick, Jason... Then... Alright, Stephanie and Damian came somewhere, obviously, but Tim is my Robin now! Right?!

Tim: Bruce, Alfred and Dick gave Robin to Damian after you got lost in the time stream.

Bruce:

Bruce: Oh. Uh. Okay... Damian, time for patrol—

Damian: No, I'm going with Richard tonight. You may have DRAKE!

Bruce: No, I'm sorry, son, please.

Damian, storming out:

Bruce, chasing after him: Please, I have had so many of you! And so many hits to the head!

Tim: How come he only ever remembers Dick's stuff?

Jason: Favouritism.

Dick: I fell on his head a lot as a kid. I also used to whisper in his ear as a kid when he slept that I would be the only child he'd ever have and love, so...

Tim:

Jason: And I'm remembered as the bad kid???

—

Bruce: You're grounded.

Barbara: ??? I'm not your kid, Bruce.

Bruce: What?

Barbara: Really? No, I'm not dealing with this, get a neurologist, Bruce.

Bruce: It's not a problem!

—

Bruce, on the phone: Hey, Jay, lad! Are you coming to the gala this weekend?

Jason: ??? I'm dead.

Bruce: What?!

Jason: No! I am legally dead, Bruce!

Bruce: Oh thank god, I thought I was hallucinating again...

Jason: Huh?

Bruce: Nothing, nothing... Wait, why haven't I brought you back to legally alive?

Jason: Hell if I know.

Bruce:

Bruce: Will you come to the gala if—

Jason, hanging up:

—

Bernard:

Bruce:

Bernard:

Bruce: Stephanie, when did you become transgender???

Bernard, trying not to laugh:

Tim: This is why I didn't want you two to meet.

—

Bruce, on the phone: DUKE THOMAS WHY AREN'T YOU HOME!?

Duke: ??? I am.

Bruce: Where?! I checked the entire manor!

Duke: I don't live with you???

Bruce: Oh my god did I fire you???

Duke: What? No? I live with my Mom?

Bruce: . . . She's alive?

Duke: B, that's... All the other kids minus Cass and Damian.

Bruce: Oh...

Duke: Get help, man.

—

Tim, eating cereal at two in the morning:

Bruce, stepping inside the dark room, blinking slowly:

Bruce: Oh, Jason—

Tim: I am so done.

—

Birdflah!!! Where Wally slowly realizes that Dick is surrounded by gingers and it dawns on him that dick's type is gingers.

Wally: did you hooked up with roy?

Dick: uh no? Like I had thing for him but he preferred them violent and traumatized.

Wally: *knows that roy is with jason* okay

Wally: did you hook up with Artemis?

Dick: yeah, twice long ago, we were like 18 or something.

Wally: okay.

Wally: did u hook up with kori?

Dick: that one was more than a hook!! We had actually a good relationship that lasted long, but then she wanted other things and left so yeah.

Wally: *remembering that Dick and kori talk alot on the phone and stuff* okay.

Wally: what are the chances of me preventing dick from meeting another ginger?

Tim: slim. He's a ginger magnet.

Jason: and he has a tendency to fuck them, roy was the only exception.

Wally: so I have my days counted??

Tim: not exactly. I think dick is serious about you. I mean besides kori, most of his gingers hooks up where during your speedforce era.

Wally: does that mean...

Tim: you gonna be on family dinners for a very long time.

Wally: YES. TAKE THAT GINGERS!!

Okay I'm in my sambucky feelings (AGAIN) so I'm gonna stay in this vibe for a while

Kinda need the whole family being tired as fuck from Tim's love stories and drama, so they send him away every time he finds a new crush.

Tim, struggling on how to confess to Kon: Hey, Dick, can you give me a dating advice? Dick: Oh, sure Dick, beaming cluelessly: Are you back with Steph? Tim: Oh no, I- Dick: Oh, right, sorry! Bart, right? Tim, embarrassed: No, I was- Dick: Omg, sorry, it was, uh, Bern? Tim: You know what... Forget it. Tim: *leaves* Dick, sighing in relief: Works every time. I hate giving dating advices.

Tim: Steph, can I have a dating advice? Steph, unimpressed: Are you cheating on someone again? Tim: ...Whatever.

Tim: Bruce- Bruce, hopeful: Yeah? Need help with something? Tim, thinking twice: ...Uh, actually no. Bruce: :(

Tim, stopping in front of Damian's door, unsure: ... Damian, right through the closed door: Drake. Spare us both. Tim: *groan*

Tim: So, I have this situation... Duke: Wait, I'll put the voice message recording, I need to send this to Cass, while she is on the mission Tim: Oh my god, MY LIFE IS NOT EVEN THAT MESSY! FORGET IT.

Tim, seething through his teeth on Jason's doorstep: You are my last hope. I am not even kidding. Jason: Woah. What happened to Alfie? Tim, with his eye twitching: He started to reminisce about his romance with Lizzie. Like, Queen Elizabeth. Lizzie. I can't listen to this any more. I need fucking advice. How to confess to Kon. Jason, who constantly writes fanfiction, but since his love life is non-existent at this point, uses his family's messy dating histories as an inspiration and references: ...Okay. Tim, gagged: Seriously? Jason: Yeah. Just work with me. What we are working with? Bridgerton ass romance? Miss Austen type of flair? Bronte's kind of insanity? Tim, sniffling: tHanK yOu

Headcanon that Dick had more reasons to have a skin thight body suit instead of like Jason's suit or even inspired the robins than mobility skill and other things.

U cannot tell me that he didn't chose that specific design and material bc it's better to save people. He knows he's hot and he has very nice body, of course he would grab the opportunity to show off under the excuse that he fights better like that.

Wally goes crazy bc of that! What do you mean one of the sexiest men alive, who is Wally partner in crime, best friend and boyfriend fights with a skin tight body suit that leaves nothing to imagination and he cannot touch him bc of professionalism??

Nightwing: *lands next to kid flash* I got my side covered! How's- are you okay?

Kid flash: *whole body vibrating like crazy as soon he looks at dick* what do you mean?

Nightwing: you are vibrating all over.

Kid flash: *wally physically trying to not touch dick* I don't know what you are talking about

Happy Valentines Day

I like to think they're a pretty private couple, only ever being affectionate behind closed doors

Keeping on the massive crush Bruce, I have this headcanon for all of the batfam.

Talking how Dick just giggles and twirls his hair when Wally is talking about the stupidest thing and laugh about anything the speedster says.

Talking how Jason tries his best to not blush at any flirty pass that roy does, and later in his safehouse just swoons and giggles and kicks his feet because roy called him pretty bird and does the same thing he did to be called that again the next time.

Talking tim dreamily agreeing to anything kon says, and doing the classic laying his hand the bicep when laughing and calling him funny altho the joke was dry as fuck.

Talking how Damian is just like Bruce, stoic and serious on the outside, scolding Jon like usual but on the inside he's just a confused teenager because omg Jon looked extra cute and his guilty face was so adorable.

I like to see the superfamily be all gone for the bats, but I absolutely love when the roles are reversed.