Can I Get Masky And Hoodie Out On Halloween With Their S/o? Thank You Love Your Writing Btw!

NSFW Christmas headcannons? Love you Jas!

(Creepypasta x Headcanon) NSFW Christmas Headcanons -

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Aw, I love you too <3 

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- Jeff and BEN makes a whole tray of d*ck shaped cookies, despite what Slender says about it, then they laugh whenever someone eats them. smh

- Dr.Smiley likes to watch 50 Shades of Gray with some hot chocolate while everyone is asleep or gone. If anyone catches him, he’ll threaten the Pastas to keep quiet. 

- Always on Christmas day, Smile Dog and Grinny Cat go out and try to find a mate. Their way of mating is not a pretty sight. Jeff once walked into a room with Smile Dog with another poor dog, he wishes he could unsee everything. 

- A few years ago on Christmas Eve, Sexual Offender put rose petals on Slender’s bed, thinking it was one of his victims, not his brother. Slenderman still doesn’t understand how Offender didn’t realize. 

- Toby, Jeff, BEN, & Laughing Jack always try to embarrass each other on Christmas Day with NSFW stuff. Who can get the most embarrassing dirty gift? Who can say the most embarrassing dirty thing to Slenderman without chickening out? It drives everyone up the wall, but it’s fun to hear what they have to say.

I need to ask this, yandere tim and yandere brian p o l y realationship?

Jelly bois

Yan!Tim & Brian

Yandere + yandere never work out.

Yanderes are way too possessive to share.

So, interest is peaked with they agree to a poly relationship.

Things will be rough around the edges, to say the least, and the household will be toxic.

Well, more toxic than usual with yanderes.

It’s more of a, share sometimes

There are constant quarrels and arguments between the boys over you.

Sometimes is about the other spending too much time with you, giving you better gifts, or potentially trying to scare the competition off.

Masky is more controlling than Hoodie, and he’s way more confrontational.

He isn’t afraid to start a fight if needed.

They both get jealous extremely easily.

Remember the play wrestling?

Crank that up to a 10, but with each other.

They’ll spar with each other occasionally, behind your back.

Even if they are best buds (maybe more in a poly djdsjagdas), they’ll go through anything to be with their s/o,

A l o n e.

This means sometimes kidnapping you.

Especially Masky, who’s an expert at not waking you up while moving you around the house.

Aka taking you away from Brian.

He’ll just pick you up, make intense eye contact with Hoodie and walk slowly out of the room with you in his arms.

Leaving you to wonder how you woke up in Tims’s arms when you went to bed under Vrian’s fur blanket.

Bascally it’s a game of capture the flag but it’s capture the s/o.

But they lowkey love each other.

Bc Brian will be caught sleeping on top of Tim on the couch.

And when you catch him he’ll get a little flustered and deny it.

They’ll also be your big and tol body guards when you go out in public together.

They’ll generally just fuck around with people who look at you for more than .3 seconds.

Aka scaring the FucK outta them.

And maybe tag-teaming punching them in the stomach and then running off to catch up with their s/o who’s still ordering food.  

They’ll eventually learn to work out their differences with each other.

One way or another.

Cue a suspicious wink.

Can I get some headcanons for Soma and/or Ciel exploring a graveyard at night with their s/o. Who knows how they managed to get rid of Angi and Sebastian, I'm sure they'll figure something out..

🎃 Soma:

He will be very excited for the idea—and less when you will actually reach the cemetery. It seemed like a great adventure idea and he is not easily frightened so he agreed without hesitation, right now, however, he will have mixed feelings about it. What if someone catches you? Arrests you? Kills you? The graveyard looked much more peaceful in the daylight, unlike in the middle of the night!

Soma will cling to your arm as if his life depended on it, suddenly remembering about all those scary folktales he head as a child and later on, during travelling arounf the world. What if all those ghosts are real? Can they hurt you anyways? Or just scare you to death?

He will be babbling more than usually, trying to kill the silence with his voice to prevent getting surprised by someone—or something. It will be rather succesful, though, since his tone will make everything want to get away from you, especially after hearing his high-pitched scream when the branch poked him on the shoulder while passing some graves near the trees.

Soma will beg you to come back home after the first few minutes on the cemetery, having enough of the adrenaline for the rest of the year. And prehaps some more, too.

🎃 Ciel:

What is even the point of that? Graveyard is dangerous in the night, this is the place where bandits could hide, after all. Still, he won’t want to ruin your mood and will agree to go exploring, although he will be extremely unwilling to waste the time like this.

After reaching the graveyard, he will mentally pat his own shoulder and admit that he was right from the very beginning—as always—seeing that this place was just perfect to hide from the eyes of rightful men. Good thing, he will bring a gun with him.

He will wander with you through the tombs, lazily taking next steps and wondering why did he even agree for that. Ciel will be completely and utterly bored, it is not like the dead can do you any harm and all the ghosts are nothing more than a fairytale told to the children to keep them calm and quiet. The silence surrounding the graveyard will be rather peaceful, though, as if it was completely divided from the outside world where all his duties and struggles were awaiting for his return.

He will be careful and observing yet relaxed during the whole exploring, knowing that he should protect you when needed, but not allowing the fear to take over his guts. For him, it will be nothing but an unnecessary stroll in the middle of the night, although he will think about your hand firmly holding his for a long time since you will come back to the manor.

He will catch a cold after that.

How would the slender brothers react to somebody going yandere over them? (Mother and Lume included). Maybe reader is this super powerful demon being who wants to love their new obsession. I always love the idea of insanely powerful readers, but dangerously powerful. Life with them is sweet as sugar! Praise, kisses, maybe a bit of jealousy here and there. But punishments are the worst hell imaginable

Slender

Slender pretends not to be intimidated.

He is.

But, to protect his ego, he forces himself into the mindset that he's superior, which is a dangerous game to play around you.

The first time he told you 'no' was quite interesting, and wet the mood for the rest of your short relationship.

"What did you just say to me?"

There was a tense silence, and it lingered in the air between the couple like a dense fog.

Slender slowly turned his head, questioning if the tone he heard was really as audacious as they seemed.

"I said, 'No, I would like to attend a party tonight with my business partners and Offender.'"

"That's what I thought you said."

Slender paused, and he would glare if he had the proper equipment. "You aren't my mother, I don't need to ask permission to leave the house at a reasonable hour."

"Well, we'll just have to find a way for you to stay home then."

"I'm not making up an excuse just-"

And before he could finish the next syllable, six thuds hit the ground. Out of pure primal instinct, Slender teleported somewhere safe inside his forest.

He left your claws immediately, and he'd rather stay that way, even if he must constantly be on the run from you.

Offender

Honestly, as long as you're nice to him, he might not even notice that you're yandere.

He loves attention, physical affection, praise, and sappy romance in general.

And you could kill him in one swipe??? That's sexy. He's already praising the ground you walk on.

He's always head over heels for people that are taller than him, considering it's extremely rare.

Sometimes a big guy like him just wants to be the little spoon, y'know?

But it will be difficult when Offender tries setting boundaries.

He's a man that has a big social circle, and if that is a problem for his dangerous yandere, he's going to be in for a hell of a ride.

After the first punishment, he realizes you're fucking insane and he needs to get out of there as soon as possible.

As a trade negotiator for Slender, he has a lot of connections, possibly beings that would be able to shelter him if need be.

He never learns his lesson, "The crazy ones are always the hottest."

Trender

He's not much of a fighter.

Trender would rather take the easy route and let you follow him around like a rabid puppy dog.

If you start complimenting him and giving praise, Trender will fluster to unimaginable limits.

And he hates to admit it, but he really loves the positive attention you give him.

He's so used to being unrecognized for his hard work in the small friend circle he has, it feels pleasant to have some pats on the back once in a while.

And he's a very passive being as well, you won't have to worry about him talking to other people or disobeying your wishes. He's just has a huge passive personality that likes to avoid conflict with the ones close to him.

Unless you're referencing his work.

If you try to control his work, his best stress outlet, then you're going to have an equally hard time punishing him as he's being disciplined.

He's stubborn just like his Mother, but he's also a huge baby when it comes to pain and discomfort.

He hates it, and promises to listen if you stop. But once the situation arises again, the exact same scenario plays out.

He'll try to escape from your claws as soon as possible if similar events keep happening.

Splendor

He thinks you adorable! And the both of you are sickeningly sweet together.

Splendor has a dark side as well.

He can be sweet as sugar one moment, and break your arm the next if he would really like to.

Splendor understands what it's like to be twisted in that sense, a terrible curse that's uncontrollable.

Chances are, he's willing to work through it with you, yandere or not, and work towards a healthy relationship.

Splendor falls hard when he's in love, and he'll do anything in his ability to mend your relationship.

Every couple has their bumps in the road.

Some couples argue, some sleep in different beds, some rip the bells off of a tendril because their partner spent too much time away from home.

But! Anything can be fixed with a little bit of love and duct tape! Splendor is sure of it. And he's convinced deep down you're the sweetest being in the Underrealm. You just need a little help discovering yourself.

Slender Brothers Headcanons

#1. Mating Season 

WARNINGS: Heavy content here. Slender’s and Offender’s of course talk about rape. Very violent and graphic rape and mention of necrophilia in Offender’s. Trender’s talks about prostitution? But not in a dark way, really. Splender’s describes some pain- for him. Pain for him. Its unfortunate ): The ‘If he had an S/O’ parts are pretty safe though 

Notes: 

Heed the warnings. If you don’t, then I take no responsibility. 

Or… maybe these aren’t as graphic as I think and I’m just a baby? Dunno, better safe then sorry though!!! 

If you are interested in this stuff, then enjoy! ^^ XD

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Slenderman:

You thought he hid away before… but, man. During this time, no one knows where he is.

In truth, he’s hauled away in a bunker that he set up himself and upkeeps every year, all alone (For his benefit, because he haaaaates, hates, hates being out of control. Not for everyone else’s benefit, I want to make that clear.) and if it wasn’t for the constant, unattended, unquenched heat overwhelming him then he would be in total peace. I mean, here he’s underground (In the earth. His favourite thing) and he’s alone (This favourite thing ties with the earth).

That bunker ends up in teeerible shape after he’s been in there. He loses most of his control, and because his needs aren’t extinguished, he gets violent. He has a lot of pent up tension in every orifice and periodically he snaps. At the walls, at the chairs, at anything that’s a satisfying weight to throw, or break, or crush.

He never leaves the bunker though without repairing and replacing shit though so that when he comes back the next year, he doesn’t feel even worse.

Now, if Slender didn’t hide himself away… Look, Slender is not a good being. He controls himself because he genuinely enjoys controlling things and the most important thing to do is control yourself. But at this time, if he really actually tried, he would have like 0.10 percent control.

And… he wouldn’t feel any reservations about taking a mortal and using them to help himself, raping them. He would feel disgusted with himself later on, for sure, but that’s only because he lost his control. Not because of what he did to the mortal.

I think the only reason he doesn’t normally do this, is not because he’s in any way better, morally, then Offender. It’s because he generally doesn’t feel sexual desire that often. And when he does, he ignores it. He isn’t interested, like Offender is. So, don’t get it twisted, Slender is a selfish and rotten.

If he had an S/O:

If there is even the smallest chance that you won’t find out, he will take it.

Of course, that would be pretty hard to do seeing as the damn thing can last for up to a week (Although that is still very lucky, seeing as cats and dogs last a month or longer. I’ve decided the Slender’s are more like birds XD) and you will be puzzled when your cranky, hermit Slenderman disappears from his beloved home for that long.

Even after its over and he’s back, and you know something out of the ordinary happened, he still won’t tell you. Just very bluntly, so you know he knows you know somethings up but you also know he isn’t about to tell you, says “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”. The ass will even say “I was here the whole time Y/N, for goodness sakes. You must have missed me.”.  

HOW?

I beg to differ, Slendy.

Eventually one of the other brothers will tell you, and get a prompt smack from a stray black tentacle when he finds out. “Oh, my bad. Spasm.” He’ll say, totally deadpanned.

Now, if you decide you don’t want anything to do with it and to respect his decision to keep it from you, he’s happy to go on like normal with you. Whenever the season comes around, he’ll just tell you he’ll be away for a bit for his mating season. No drama! And no more secrets!

On the other hand, if you wanted to help…

Well, he would describe to you everything he feels during his mating season and exactly how strong these urges are, to scare you off. And e tells no lie, and it does sound terrifying.

But if you still want to after that, then fine. Next mating season, he concedes a test run. But he enlists Zalgo to stand by for a bit and if he hears non-pleasure noises, then to come in and take you away.

Slender’s a big fan of informed consent where you’re concerned.

Trenderman:

Trender does a lot of meditation and drinks a lot of calming herbal remedies at this time… and, also, jerks off a lot and is out picking up partners every night for wild one-night stands. He deals with it pretty healthily, actually, compared to the others! Haha

As song as he’s satisfied, everyone who is prospectively around him, will be safe. That’s his thinking, and it’s true.

Also, why treat the feeling like it’s a curse? It is an issue, but if you act like Frollo then you’ll just make it worse for yourself and more importantly, for everyone else.

He will even hire prostitutes if he has no luck picking anyone up himself. Don’t worry, he’s very good to them, and pays them well (Boy makes it a habit to even send them off with breakfast, or at least breakfast money if they don’t feel comfortable spending more time with him then what was professional). Like, from the prostitute’s point of view, he is the best customer. Favourite customer. Love him.

He doesn’t do any work with anyone, during this time. Just stays in at home all day meditating, drinking his tea’s and working on designs and outfits from the safety of his house (He does some of his best work during this time- they’ve been described as ‘Seductive’). If he absolutely has to contact someone, he will text them. Even the sound of someone’s voice might set him off, so he really avoids anything like phone calls and delivery people- he has his groceries dropped off at his front door while he’s out at night.

He wears headphones most of the time (Noise cancelling or music), blocking out anything possible from the outside world, and keeps the blinds closed and windows and doors locked.

If he had an S/O:

If you’re willing to help him out during the season, he’s jazzed. I mean, he was hoping you would XD

Let me tell you, you can satisfy him way quicker than anyone else that he could pick up or hire, so its not really an issue if you want to help him. You will be pretty tired after a night so I’d prescribe you maybe every second night if you’re up to it?? But you won’t be fatally tired or anything like Splender XD And you definitely wont be hurt, because honestly it doesn’t take much from you to finish him, because it’s you!

Theirs no poetic reason. It’s just, simply, because it’s you.

Kinks that he doesn’t mention before this suddenly come out to play… You will learn some new things about yourself, that’s for sure.

Offenderman (I’m saying it again because it’s very necessary. WARNING. Please read with caution):

This is… not an issue for him…

In fact, it affects him much, much less than the others. Offender is always horny, anyway. Its literally in his nature. So, he’s used to living with it.

His temperament does lose its bearings for the duration, though, which makes him even more dangerous then usual. Most of the time he doesn’t even play with his victims at all (Doesn’t tease or go even a modicum slower. Doesn’t care to look into their eyes to see the fear- which tends to be a big part of what he does. He gets off of their terror. But at this time he just seems mad, sloppy and impatient), just rapes them in an the back of an alleyway and leaves their corpses when he’s not getting anything out of it anymore, looking for a new one.

Usually, when it’s not mating season he’ll usually leave them alive, specifically so they have to deal with the trauma, but now the force he uses… breaks them. The force of his hips breaks their bones, the way he bites their neck leaves a gaping, jagged hole that blood escapes out of, he suffocates them to death or crushes their windpipe. Long before he’s done, they’re a corpse. Not that that bothers him. At all. As long as they’re tight, he can work with it.

Also, something about them being dead turns him on also, so…

The body count at night means that he’s fine during the day, except for a normal, gentle buzz of thirst but he can handle that just fine. It’s more like normal.

If it wasn’t for his general lack of care for mortal (Or any other) lives and cruelty he would be able to manage this season like any other time of the year. No one would get hurt and no one would realise he’s any different.

But, this is Offenderman.

If he had an S/O:

Offender is so much more in control. Like, literally, he can date you and have a normal life and everything. He doesn’t want to scare you away or, very much less, hurt you. If he can get away with it, he wont even mention a mating season.

But, if you were happy to help him out (Which, I realise now, may be hard for some of us to imagine after reading what I just wrote about him not 4 dot points ago… ), then he would lose his ever loving mind.

But not in a bad way like before was. Less violent and more… submissive. I guess. He’s still him, and he thinks he’s head honcho and everything (Second only to Slender) but he has absolutely zero issues with bottoming- theirs plenty of pleasure to source from that position.

Your touch and your warm, wet pinkness feel’s 10 times better to him (And he already loved it with his whole, black heart) in this condition. He’ll mule.

Splenderman:

This is ESPECIALLY hard for Splender. He feels everything 10 times stronger than any of his brothers, which is saying a lot because they’re all very passionate about their shit.

But Splender is the most so. (*Cough* Its because I like to believe kindness is a stronger urge then hatred, personal interest or even lust. This is also the reason I headcanon Splender as the oldest).

One year, soon after he reached adulthood and mating season actually kicked in, (The first time shocked him. He had no one to tell him this was about to happen, and it stole the wind from him. He nearly hurt someone when he tried to ignore it, which explains why this that I’m about to explain about, which is the second time, turned out so badly),he tried to haul himself away and do nothing. Not touch himself, not see anyone for help, not do anything.

It caused him to cease up completely. He was just sitting there for a full day, thinking about nothing but his physical need and his pain. First his cock went painfully stiff, then the rest of him, and when he finally tried to move it was agonising.

Ever since then he’s careful not to do that. For a long time he subscribed to Slender’s method of hiding and locking himself away until it’s over.

But, it was not until Trender became an adult and started dealing with his mating seasons that Splender’s eyes were opened up to a much safer and healthier management strategy.

Instead of fighting the season, just accept it. Take care of yourself Splendy, we worry for you.

Nowadays he spends most of his time treating his body the bets he can, in a remote area in some mountains in Switzerland. Beautiful nature to revitalise him, spring weather, clean fresh air… no one around for miles and miles to hear what he’s up to… Haha. Its half an half. Half of the time he spends eating healthily and relaxing in fields and rocky mountain areas, and the other half he masturbates.

A lot of the time actually he’s doing both at the same time. Jacking off outside in the fresh air.

If he had an S/O:

He’s surprised to hear that his mortal mate likes the idea of being… uh… used, essentially. For his personal gain.

“You think that’s okay, Y/N??”? He’s a bit sceptical.

“Yeah, Splender, as long as its you! I don’t mind helping- plus its kinda hot.”

Well, if you’re sure! Splender doesn’t try to tell you that you don’t know what you’re talking about or that you don’t know what you like in anyway.

He’s kind of excited now XD

He’s going to come up with a plan though to separate the two of you at some point so you can rest and revitalise because while he understands that you’re consenting to a lot and are genuinely interested, he also knows that during this time he can go for a looooot longer then you can, and he refuses to break you. “You can come back if you want once you’re not so tired!” He assures you, when you whine and say you can ‘handle it’.

ALL SLENDER’s:

Final thing.

Imagine having a vagina and being on your period at the same time that he’s enduring his mating season. 

Slender Brother Headcanons

-They are German(Because the first ever ‘picture’ of Slenderman was taken in Germany). Just imagine Slenderman going off on long tangents in German when angry. -Splenderman insists on monthly picnics/outings in human form. The other three aren’t crazy about them because they’re busy and Offender thinks he’s too macho and cool but they all go anyway because they cannot say no to Splender. Mostly because Splender is bloody terrifying when mad. -Trender and Offender are twins. -Splender loves Death Metal. It pretty much shocked the living fuckery out of Offender and Trender when they walked in and discovered Splender listening to it really loud through his earplugs. Slender was just calmly-and smugly-knitting in the armchair next to him. -As different as they all are, they care about each other AND IF ANYONE TOUCHES SPLENDER THEY DIE. -Trender likes to dress the other three up. -Slender and Offender love Disney and get together weekly to watch some. Trender and Splender are just nice enough to keep their secret. (Slenders favourite is Cinderella and Offenders is Tangled) -Whenever anybody tries to bully Trender, they expect the other three Slenders to get angry but quickly find out that Trender does NOT need protection… -Only Slender is allowed Proxies. The other three would be way too stressful… -Slender. Mansion. Prank Wars. (Imagine with me, Jeff hiding under the house with a bucket over his head because Trender threw Slenders tea in a harbour somewhere and Splender made condom balloons and L.J PLEASE COME QUICK SAVE ME) -They often listen to each other’s thoughts. Except Offenders thoughts. No one wants to listen to that. No one.

(I have more! Ok, here we go~) -Most would think that Slender gets along best with Trenderman, no? Because they could both sigh and shake dissaproving heads their silly brothers but nope! Slender gets along best with Offender. They often get together to talk about their victims and Slender usually does very well with holding Offenders leash when they go out and Offender is very good at getting Slender to have a little fun. -Trender is very tolerant of his brother’s antics, so he doesn’t really mind when he goes out with his siblings and it ends up with Splender covering everything with glitter, Offender having to be restrained and Slender hiding. Mostly because Trender is a very good actor, he just pretends he doesn’t know them. -They are each from a different time(Ignoring the fact that Trender, Offender and Splender are all merrily parodies of Slenderman). -Slender does drugs sometimes(He is a very stressed man, having to make sure none if the other, more reckless Creepypasta’s aren’t caught) -Whenever a Non-Creepypasta guy attempts to hit in or flirt(Innocently or not) with a Creepypasta Girl(Jane, L.Jill, Candy Cane, Clockwork, Judge Angel, Nurse Ann, Sally…ect) Offender hates it and will always put a stop to it(Most girls get angry with him over it because MAYBE THEY WANT A BOYFRIEND or THEY CAN PROTECT THEMSELVES) and he gets absolutely furious when said Non-Creepypasta guy ever tries to hurt one of them…Whether this is because he actually has a soft spot or he see’s them all as his no one knows, they just know that Jane ain’t getting no boyfriend any time soon.

Hey!! I think I’ve seen a relative of your around recently their home was like a trapdoor. Do you have a big family? Or small one? (＾－＾)?

Oh! There are many Thraphosidae to go around! I'm guessing you perhaps live somewhere in Australia, yes? Or perhaps in a warmer country, outside of Europe? Trapdoor-spiders, like the atrax robustus for example, often live there! But those are also much more venomous and deadly than myself. Theyalso are quite vicious and aggressive, but not any less beautiful! So yes! I guess, that gives me a pretty large family! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘☺️😉😌😁🥳🥹🥺✨👉🏻👈🏻

Cute

Lestrade! My goodness, it's been so long! It's very nice to see you again and have you back here on Tumblr! How have you been in the meantime? And thank you for the compliment! I appreciate that! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘☺️😉😌😁🥳🤭🥹🥺✨👉🏻👈🏻

can we get some slenderman x s/o cuddling/sleeping together headcanons! like how they cuddle each other in bed, how they manage to sleep together, whether slender sleeps stiff or flips and turns; anything like that ^^ - ☆

Not like there's an issue where they couldn't sleep together?? Obviously any non-humans have beds that are big enough to fit them~ Slender is over 7 feet tall, he's not sleeping on a normal human bed

That counts on IF you can even get him into bed. Slender is a certified workaholic and there are many nights where you go to bed alone and wake up alone. It's an unfortunate part of being in a relationship with him, but at least 4/7 nights in the week you'll probably be alone in your bed, depending on the time of year.

When he is in bed with you, Slender doesn't move. His body tends to be as exhausted as his mind, and whatever position he settles down in, he's going to wake up in. Slender tends to spoon you on most nights, whether you're snuggled into his chest or if he's wrapped around you, that's generally the default position. Slender doesn't ever let you spoon him because his back is a spot of weakness for him (power-wise), and if he wakes up like that he'll probably get pissy and shift away from you. His favorite position is just to have you in his arms, as holding onto you relaxes him.

His favorite thing in the morning when he wakes up is to just watch you for a bit. You look so cute to him when you're sleeping, so content, so happy, so peaceful, and he'll lay there lovingly gazing at you for a few minutes before he has to wake up officially for the day and start his job. The sight of your face is his absolute favorite thing to wake up to, and he likes to say that it's the best way for him to start the day.

Slender Brothers and Female Beauty Practises Used in the Middle Ages!

What the Slender Brothers thought of beauty practices in Europe during the Middle Ages for Females. Inspired by Haus of Holbein from Six: The Musical XD 

Warnings: Well, Offender’s of course discusses rape so don’t read it if you know its going to make you uncomfortable. As a whole though, they all talk about pretty gross and painful sounding stuff. That’s what the practises for beauty were like at the time. That’s the whole topic. Basically though, if you’re cool watching Horrible Histories then these (Except Offenders) should be okay. 

~~~

Offenderman:

Man, your make-up, wigs and rat fur eyebrows are gonna get wiped off with him. This is not because he’s sloppy… its actually because he doesn’t like the taste. His mouth is gonna find itself in all sorts of places and he doesn’t need to be tasting hog grease on your face, no matter how good for your skin you might think it is! This includes if they used lead for makeup, arsenic, nightshade, lard, or anything else (for this reason, Offender actually avoided much accidental poisoning that way. Of course, this man poisons himself anyway with other drugs). Hair extensions would also go. He did get excited though when he, uh, caught a girl having her late night / before bed routine with blood on her face, though. Like when you get a box of cornflakes and theirs coco pops in there instead.

He was and still is pretty fascinated with corsets though.

Slenderman:

Don’t take this as Slender being ‘ahead of the time’, but the moment he left his forest for a moment and saw women replacing their eyebrows with rat fur and using pee to lighten their hair, he was out of there. No, no. Absolutely not. That’s disgusting and ridiculous. He goes home in disgust and then he laughs his ass off (Cruelly). Like I said, this doesn’t mean Slender was ahead of the time (None of them were or are. They can do their own research, but that can only lead them to be as forward as the rest of the world is- they’re telepathic, not psychic), it just means he was judgmental and thinks the only valid image of beauty is his own. “No Splender I’m not leaving this forest, there are people out there who pluck their hairlines away until they look like what emerges from a hens vagina. With a face.”  

Splenderman:

Splender has been around humans for so long and he pays so much attention (Not out of creepiness- out of care) that he is well aware of the state a human body should be in if it’s healthy and comfortable and how it definitely should not look if it is healthy and comfortable. This means that when people started getting sick and losing the ability to walk too early in life after they started using certain beauty practises, he knew exactly what to blame. And he, of course, tried to warn people when the topic came up and made his views on these things clear to people he knew, these things were kinda… normal?? You know? There wasn’t much he could do. People would just brush him off. Folks always complain about new things, that doesn’t mean they’re bad! Right?

This normalcy barrier though, did not stop our man from being a legit vigilante by night and making sure that various X-Ray clinics (These would be used for hair removal. You got stuck under the X-Ray machine for up to a day and it got rid of your hair… but it also, of course, destroyed your skin) and small cosmetics factories that put arsenic and deadly night shade in their products would shut down. He did this by stealing their equipment and materials and getting rid of it. Splender’s awesome.

Trenderman:

Of course, Trender is a fashion plate and he has always appreciated mortals’ sense of style and art, but he isn’t obsessive about sticking to the trends. He likes to do his own thing, you know? As a rule, he has always backed up his practises with science and his own experience with them, so I’m not gonna lie here. Some of the practises used during the Middle Ages did concern him a bit, aha. Such as the use of radiation for skin care and various poisons (Lead, arsenic, deadly nightshade). He would also take shoes very seriously with anyone he was dressing up for events and have them promise to him that they would excuse themselves from their party or whatever they were attending, for a bit and take off super high heels or too small slippers to let their feet breath and sit normally for a little while. He would go as far as to tell them horror stories about people who didn’t listen to him and couldn’t walk after the age of forty, or got seriously disgusting feet looking feet, or even had to have them chopped off. Yeah, Trender took it seriously.

Using mercury, though (Unfortunately), is not one of the things that concerned him. After the 1800’s, when Trender finally did fall seriously ill from the substance (It took him a while due to his superior immune system), he did of course immediately regret all of his work with it and halted its use in any of his practises. Its one of his biggest regrets. He used to recommend it so often to clients… and friends… and he can’t take any of that back. These days though he’s very current and aware to a genius extent on the subject of what’s healthy in the way of cosmetics. He doesn’t play with it at all.