Surviving IKEA

Never enter near closing hours.

Do not mispronounce IKEA product names. What you summon will haunt you.

Do not trust the arrows.

Walls shift and new ones appear out of nowhere.

Avoid, at any cost, staying after closing hours.

Do not ask employees for directions to the exit. Most of them have been trapped inside the building ever since they signed the contract. These once happy and good people have grown spiteful. Do not trust them. They want you to stay.

Make the bed after trying it out. It makes them less angry.

In case you are trapped:

Find John. He has lived in the store for six years, unnoticed.

Avoid eye contact with employees roaming around.

Hide whenever possible.

The ghost families living in the showrooms won’t betray you.

Do not steal any pencils. It will give away your position.

Avoid walking through the bed area. The creatures sleeping there won’t appreciate your presence.

When music from the 30s starts blasting through the speakers, Walter, the handyman, has noticed you and wants to drive his screwdriver through your ear.

Run.

He often shouts jokes chasing you followed by the laughter of IKEA personnel echoing throughout the store. Never let your guard down.

Open as many wardrobes as you can. Some of them are magic portals. Pray that you find one in time before he finds you.

Only go through a portal when absolutely necessary. What you find on the other side is often not pleasant.

If there is no other option, try pronouncing the name of the IKEA furniture closest to you. The ground will start to shake. Prepare yourself for the worst.

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sunflowerwolf3

5 years ago

*rolls eyes* I could go on for hours about this…

Pro Tip

If you’re a rookie (or heck, a really annoying veteran marcher) don’t try to patronize those who are older or more experienced than you unless they are very clearly in the wrong (for example, 15 steps ahead of the line). It’s not only disrespectful more often than not, but chances are you don’t know what you’re talking about and they will be able to realize and correct their own mistakes without input from someone who doesn’t have as much experience as they do (assuming they’re self-aware enough to realize they’re not perfect). Plus, if it’s really an issue the directors will address it, you should probably just focus on learning your own show.

(And all you older/more experienced marchers, don’t be jerks when know you’re in the wrong)

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sunflowerwolf3

5 years ago

Behind the scenes of Mary Poppins

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sunflowerwolf3

5 years ago

Pinterest... picture interest

(it’s 11:45 pm... help)

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sunflowerwolf3

5 years ago

How I wanna be

sunflowerwolf3 - Anything And Everything

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sunflowerwolf3

5 years ago

Heya my followers who are marching their first season! Here’s a little thing about it. It’s about to get real so be prepared

Band camp absolutely sucks. 8 hours in the hot sun with limited water breaks and people yelling at you. It’s hell. But trust me when I tell you that the first time you perform in front of a crowd will make it all worth it. Feeling the stadium lights on you, seeing the crowd that’s cheering you on, it’s everything. You feel so good when you get off of the field. And some of your fondest high school memories will come from marching band. So even though you’re gonna want to cry, scream, or quit. Don’t. It will all be worth it

And it’s okay to have days where you don’t have fun. But do trust me when I say just push through it. It’s all worth it

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sunflowerwolf3

5 years ago

Steve Harrington. The OG Ally

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sunflowerwolf3

5 years ago

Hufflepuff Moment #36

Just because someone is lazy doesn’t mean that they’re automatically excluded from Hufflepuff. The hard work trait is shown more when there is something that a Hufflepuff truly cares about and must undergo trials and tribulations to achieve it.