“He’s Not Year 7 Stupid, He’s Year 9 Stupid.”

I should probably clarify that this was in a game

Convesation between my mum and brother

Brother: He was in the way so we killed him

Mum: You killed your friend in his sleep?

B: It gets worse…

M: …

B: …

M: …

B: We skinned him.

M: …

B: We needed the leather!

“It should be easier once we get rid of the pile of noses...”

-My mother, not making nearly as much without context

"Insulin is the hormone equivalent of 'not like other girls'"

“God is dead. We have killed him. My tits hurt.”

“When I get to Hell, Satan will throw a ball at me.”

-Me, explaining how much I hate PE

"I'd throw a parade to annoy mysterious goats"

“We thought it was a toilet chain!”

-My grandma, talking about my great grandmother’s very expensive jewelry

"I dream of being attacked by birds..."

“MEEEOOOWWWW!”

-My cat. Loudly. In my face. At 3am. Every night.

"What happens if you inject AI with adrenaline?"