“Zounds, ye whore!”
-Literally William Shakespeare
“That’s a Cavendish banana, you shithead.”
-me, to one of my closest friends
“Why does February have, like, no days??”
-Someone I used to think was smart
“I am a thot and Thor.”
"I've been having horse flashbacks..."
“You’ve got a crazy grandma.”
-my grandma, being so right
"Like, which part of this clusterfuck specifically?"
"People don't think that technology can handle a beating. If my Xbox was a war veteran he'd have been through all the major wars."
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