I Want To Spoil Ranpo With Sweets And Little Plushies Like The Baby He Is Hes 26 But The 2 Is Silent.

You don't understand how badly I want to eat your writing

OMGGG nom nom eat it up idc!!!! it's all yours cheetozai 😋😋

a little less fic idea a little more write anything down

miss you mom

MOM????????

DEEERRRR HRU SILLY

CHEETOZAI HIIII im doing my best LMFAOOO hru :)))) im happy to be back and thats whats important

you’re so very lovely i hope nothing bad happens to you,,,, hopefully,,,,

THANK U ????? anon u are sweet i hope that too LMAOOO

this is so sweet but also. a little ominous !

Silly elf lil shit (think of Elysia from hi3rd) and Dazai asks them to play with their ears just to get surprised from them saying sure LMFAOOAOS

Also HOW R U POOKIE :3 hope u eat and sleep well !!

THANK UUU i am doing my best 😭 but i’ve been eating and sleeping well 💪🏻 that’s half the battle

Dazai’s mischievous grin had Kunikida sighing. Oh well, at least it's not pointed towards him.

You were working silently on a report, bored out of your mind. If you weren't worried about getting fired (has anyone been fired from the ADA?), you would've pushed it off until tomorrow... or maybe the next day. A sigh passes your lips as you glance up from the computer screen, looking for a welcomed distraction.

Making eye contact with Dazai, you knew it'd be easy.

Pointed ears twitch in amusement, smirking back towards the brunet. His eyes seemed to shine at the movement, standing up to move behind you. "Hello, love," his hands rest on your shoulders, fingers grazing your ears on the way to their perch. It was obvious he had some sort of plan brewing.

"Dazai," you greet curtly. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" You were keeping it formal, sure, but that's only because you knew it'd make Dazai work harder to distract you from your work — something you'd accept graciously.

"So harsh, hm? No pet names, no words of affection..." he pouts, spinning your chair around to look at him. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you don't love me!"

"Maybe that's what I'm trying to achieve," you tease.

Dazai shakes his head, clicking his tongue thrice is disapproval. "The only way to do that is to deny me my next request. Of course, if you want me to think you don't love me..." he trails off, an evil smirk that has you flustered. The smirk is evil because it's so pretty — anyone would have a hard time denying it. ("Not anyone," you hear Kunikida in your head.)

"And what is that request?" Your ears twitch again in amusement, much to Dazai's delight. He doesn't expect you to say yes, but that won't stop him from asking:

"Can I play with your ears?"

It's so hard to catch Dazai off guard, but your easy "Yes," seems to do just that.

He grins so boyishly and excitedly, hands immediately pulling at the pointed tips of your ears (for which you chastise him, pouting about how that hurts) and poking the skin.

You spin around in your chair, letting him mess with them from behind as you turn back to your reports. Maybe now you’ll be able to get something done.

Hello I’m new here, I just couldn’t help but notices how lovely you write. So I have little request for you.

Can I request Nikolai and any characters you want reaction when their s/o hides stuff between her breasts?

omg welcome just my drunk friend! tysm!!!! i love nikolai im on it 🫡 and dazai ofc..

has: no pronouns used but mention of boobs and bras, also one (1) use of the word tits. is that worthy of a warning? probably not. but Nikolai says it in a weird way bc he’s the worst so just in case 🤞🏻

You knock feverishly on Nikolai’s door. Fuck, where did you leave your key? You’d already made it back to your apartment when you realized it wasn’t in your pockets. The last place you were was Nikolai’s, so if he didn’t have it you aren’t sure who would.

“Nikolai, you dick,” you mutter under your breath. That asshole is definitely still awake, so why wasn’t he answering the door?

The knocking ceases as Nikolai swings the door open, hair unbraided and eyes glimmering. “Missed me that badly?” He leans forward, bending down slightly to maneuver his face just above yours. “You could’ve called, y’know.”

“Yeah, well,” you shrug. “I need to come in.”

“Pushy!~” He pouts, crossing his arms and standing up straight. “Not even gonna say hello?”

A groan passes your lips, too frustrated at your missing key to play his games. “You didn’t.” You pause momentarily. It’s less frustration and more so anxiety that makes your skin crawl and your tone snippy. “Sorry, I just lost my key. I’m worried I dropped it on the street walking home.”

Eyes lighting up, you would’ve sworn Nikolai beamed down at you with two mismatched flashlights. “You need your key, you say? And what if I told you I could procure it for you?”

Your shoulders slump down, relaxing. He’s being an asshole, sure, but at least you know he has it. “Please, Nikolai?”

“Mm… You gotta promise not to be mad when I retrieve it. Especially since I’ll be your savior, you know!” He puffs out his chest, already proud before he has even produced the key.

“I promise, I’ll be eternally grateful as long as I can find that key.”

Nikolai’s warm and ungloved hand slips under your loose shirt collar, digging beneath your bra and in between your breasts. You freeze, even with the warmth of his hand on you. Before you can chew him out for the random grope, the jester pulls your apartment key from in between, flashing both it and a wolfish grin to you.

You say nothing for a moment, just staring slack jawed at your key. Had you really..?

“You dropped it in there before you left,” he shrugs before dropping the key back in between your breasts, not bothering to hand it to you properly. “And I just stare at your tits all the time, so I noticed.”

With a gentle smack to his bicep, you fish the key out once more and let out a sigh of relief. “Thank god; I thought I was going to have to change my locks!”

“You still should - I have, like, several copies of your apartment key littered around my apartment,” Nikolai smiles once more.

You don’t even bother replying, just turning around and leaving his place for the second time that night, your apartment key in hand.

Dazai would start hiding things in there too. He tosses a pen your way before heading out on a mission, one where he knows you can’t bring a bag along, just to watch as you stuff it in between your breasts. You’d sigh resignedly, used to his actions by this point and having long given up arguing or telling him off.

When on said mission, he’d find any and every reason that one might need a pen and turn to you expectantly, waiting for you to pull it out and hold it out for him. It’s always so warm after, heated up from its time nestled between where he’d like to be stashed away.

You’d complain after he asks for the pen for the nth time, telling him if he needs to use it so often he can get one himself! Those words were meant to tell him to bring/carry his own pen, but he’d grinned before taking that as meaning he could jam his hand down your shirt to reach for it himself.

“What? You told me to grab it myself…”

stop just read your dazai kisses one it’s so cute but the beastzai one fucked me up. awful. gut wrenching i have such a soft spot for him

hejdshfueh i wrote it with a permanent frown on my face. i can no longer smile.

thanks sm anon!!!! glad you enjoyed :)

i randomly thought of pm!dazai and ada!reader and……

You shifted uncomfortably on the wooden seat, hands fiddling with the hem of the black tablecloth. Dread isn't strong enough to describe what you felt leading up to this.

"You haven't even looked at the menu, darling," Dazai smirked across from you, a glimmer of amusement in his eye.

Without your usual aggressively crude retort that always had Dazai holding back laughter, you timidly picked up the fancy, leather bound menu - hands now fiddling with the thick string keeping it sewed together rather than the tablecloth. Your gaze was thoughtless, barely registering the exorbitant dishes listed alongside exorbitant wines.

The bandaged man sighed, his frown a clear indication of his annoyance, but kept his mouth shut.

You thought back to the president’s plea with you the day before. He hadn’t expressly told you to play nice with the executive of your rival organization (he wasn’t that kind of man), but the way he asked you to stay calm and remain vigilant told you all you needed to know. Furrowed brows pointed down at the menu allowed Dazai to read your frustration.

The two of you had done nothing more than trade blows on the battlefield — usually to Dazai’s success — and yet he’d appeared at the agency one day to ask for permission to court you. Had he not been your enemy, you would have considered it sweet, dismissing that the bouquet of daisies he brought came stolen from the flowerpots of the café below. He was anxiously fiddling with the white petals, panic in his gaze when he’d accidentally pull one off the flowers. The dangerous demon prodigy of the mafia you’d been warned against time and time again was utterly smitten with you to a pitiful degree.

He seemed to have cleaned up his act since then, smirking confidently at you while leaning back in his chair across the table. Shifting, he moved forward just enough to gently push your menu down, following the action with a soft, “Hey.”

You looked up at him, taking his place as the nervous one between the two. Having succeeded in gaining your attention, Dazai rested his chin on the palms of both hands, continuing to lean in towards you.

“You’re uncomfortable.”

It wasn’t a question, merely an observation, and yet you replied as though it were. “I’m not.”

Still no witty retort. The thought caused Dazai to sigh once more, but his grin remained the same. “If you didn’t want to go on a date, why did you agree?” His tone was nonchalant, a slight shrug punctuating his question as he leans back comfortably once again, but you knew better. His finger running over the rim of his empty wine glass, gaze shifting from you to down at the table for a moment too long…

“You know why,” you choose to reply, not mentioning his nervous demeanor.

Of course Dazai knew why.

“Have you two had enough time to look over the wine menu?” A cute waitress stood at the edge of your table, a polite smile on her face and hands clasped together behind her back professionally.

Silence held still for a moment too long before you decided to speak up. “No, sorry, not quite— “

“We won’t need to.” He quietly folded up the separate wine menu, handing it back to the waitress. Your brief moment of shock quickly turned to disdain as he continued. “The bottle that should have arrived this morning will do. Under Dazai,” He spoke cockily.

This motherfucker had a bottle of wine flown in for this. He asked you out the day before, so how long has he had this planned out?

The waitress politely took the wine menu from him, her eyes lighting up momentarily as she realized who he was. “Ah, Mr. Dazai! We’ll have that out for you shortly. Our owner wanted me to commend you on your great taste. It’s a shame she couldn’t be here in person.”

A dismissive wave of his hand sends the waitress away, leaving to grab whatever bottle he specifically ordered.

“What’s the occasion?” You spoke distastefully, forgetting yourself for a moment. Instead of tripping over your words to save the moment, you just let out a low breath and waited for him to respond.

“Why, it’s to commemorate our first date. Even if you only agreed to appease me, I still want it to be special…” He trailed off, words turning soft before he cleared his throat. “You deserve only the best, darling. I ordered the most expensive wine for us tonight: a 1992 Screaming Eagle Cabernet Sauvignon. The price comes from the vastly small quantities of bottles ever produced. I had the owner track down a bottle and paid her the difference.”

“Oh, how kind,” you spoke awkwardly. “I don’t really drink, though.”

Tense, awkward silence practically stung the two of you. Dazai felt so stupid; the first time he actually likes someone, and he couldn’t even figure out what you like in preparation! Chuuya had guaranteed this bottle would impress you, but you didn’t even like wine.

Dazai stood up abruptly, his face unreadable for a moment.

“But, um, I’m fine trying it! Like you said, it should be special!” You figured your recovery attempt was poor as Dazai spun away from you, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his fancy suit pants.

“Let’s go.”

The waitress watched in shock as the two of you leave the restaurant, clutching the $500,000 bottle of wine in her hands.

You’d been following silently behind Dazai for a few minutes, and with his quick pace, your legs were starting to ache. The fancy shoes you’d donned were killing your heels - you could practically feel the blisters forming. But still, you remained quiet. What would he do now? You pretty much ruined his whole plan, told him you weren’t interested, and made him waste a bottle of wine you didn’t want to begin guessing the price of. It was a 1992 Something Eagle… What was it? You’d definitely ask Yosano when you saw her next at work.

Suddenly, Dazai stops in front of a small curry shop. The place looked cheap when compared to the restaurant you were just in, and the idea of Dazai being well versed in the place felt like a joke. You two were visibly out of place in the joint, something that only hit you as he held open the door, letting you walk inside ahead of him. The place was well kept, but clearly not a restaurant you’d wear a suit and tie to, which is what Dazai was happily flaunting in the original restaurant just a few minutes prior.

“We’ll both take the usual, please,” Dazai speaks to the man behind the counter, who happily smiles and begins dishing out two plates of curry.

Your date pulls out a chair for you at the counter, pushing it in gentlemanly once you sit down before taking the seat next to you. “Thank you” is muttered by the both of you as the bowls of curry are placed in front of you.

The only sound was the clattering of dishes as the attendant cleaned and you and Dazai ate. After a moment, he started whining, tongue sticking out as he complained about how hot it was. The view was… welcoming. It was nice to see Dazai in a state that wasn’t so perfect. You figured all the anxious fiddling you’d been exposed to earlier (and the day prior) was an act, but you were starting to view all of it as genuine. Maybe he really did just want a chance with you.

The soft laughter you let out had Dazai turning to you with hearts in his singular visible eye, cheeks red (from the spicy curry, of course) and breath still. “The infamous Demon Prodigy can’t handle his spice?” You smirked, and for the first time in two days, Dazai relaxed. That was a witty retort, wasn’t it? You were feeling more comfortable.

“Wow,” he spoke breathlessly, completely enamored with you for a moment before clearing his throat. “I mean, wow. I can’t believe you’d make fun of me for not eating spicy foods.”

You chuckled, and Dazai swore he was in heaven. He got you to laugh twice. “Honestly I'd expected someone in your position to stomach the spiciest of foods with crazy-high tolerance,” you rested your chin onto your palm, leaning in towards Dazai.

“Well, I expected you to have terrible spice tolerance, so ha.” His response was bad, but the glimmer of amusement that flickered in your eyes made him not care.

“Hey, thanks for this. I don’t much care for stuffy restaurants like that.” You took a bite, not even flinching as you swallowed the spicy curry.

“I just wished I had the foresight to take you here first.” Another silence settled between the two of you, this one much more comfortable. “And… I’m sorry. I should’ve realized you’d feel forced to accept my invitation. After today, we can go back to only seeing each other in battle.”

“Hm,” you hummed, swallowing the curry you bit into as he started talking. “Honestly, this was still one of the better dates I’ve been on, if not entirely weird. Maybe we could hang out outside of work. As friends, of course.”

“Just friends?” Dazai let out a dramatic gasp, hand over his heart as he nearly fell out of his chair. “But Romeo and Juliet were a romantic pair! How are we to take over their destinies?”

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but the corner of your lips quirked up in amusement. “Their destinies were to kill themselves.”

“Exactly! And how are we expected to reach that point as just friends?” Dazai whined childishly, an exaggerated pout jutting out his bottom lip.

“Maybe we can revisit the topic in the future.”

your writing is so delicious and good and you make my heart feel all warm and happy but you’re writing is so good you could break my heart if you ever write angst w dazai

HEUWHNFEHIS THANK YOU??????? also. angst . hmmm.... 😋😋

maybe one day anon!!! i like silly fluff fics! my thing is i always want a happy ending 😭 so even if theres angst im gonna switch up half way thru haha