This Is Actually The Best Thing

​the funniest part is that ive been looking for that article snippet (albeit halheartedly) for months and THIS is the post that i rediscover it on

Thank you tumblr for being eternally on-brand and helpful in only the most convoluted of ways

a moment of silence for Dvorak users trying to appear submissive

I think jon probably had a little notepad where he wrote random shit the eye told him that he thought would be an interesting fact to tell people.

(Jon trying to do work)

The eye: 👁️👁️👁️

Jon: … huh. Interesting. (Writes “jellyfish can become sleep deprived” on notepad, then continues working)

you’re a cool guy.

​heart can dance but is an asshole who steps on feet on purpose canon

[Considering your lack of sight, you're doing rather well. However, I'm starting to believe you're stepping on my feet on purpose.]

and yet you say my apathy’s not just, or something like that

Why is windows Like This

Please

I just want to download some software

If i give you my firstborn child will you download it

Microsoft im begging you

Laptops are always so much more Fucked than phones in my experience. A laptop is like a beautiful horse that wants nothing more than to break all of its legs. A decently solid android phone will act normal

I found one of your posts saved to my photos from a year ago (based on the format I’m guessing I got it from reddit?) and decided to look up the username and it turns out youre still here and making cool scifi/fantasy concepts!! Hi

A fantasy/soft sci-fi story that features a race of creatures who are apparently - for no really sensible reason - all male. And upon encountering humans for the first time, one of them discovers that women exist. And this is an epiphany, and the most splendid news in the entire world as he knows it. Holy shit, women. It takes him some time before he stops making sure that every human he encounters is aware that women exist, it would be a pity if they wouldn't. They do, all of them do, and some of the ones that he addresses are women, who apparently come in a far wider range of appearances than he had previously been aware of. This, too, is amazing.

Neglecting whatever duties he was supposed to be performing while among humans, he focuses mainly on learning more about women. This leads to learning about human romantic relationships, which leads to discovering polyamorous relationships, and the LGBT community. All of which are splendid discoveries.

Eventually, after having not heard anything of their duty-neglecting emissary for months, the people receive one letter that basically goes "I am ceasing my mission and relinquishing my position in order to make a home here. Do not try to seek me, I am currently living in a household of seven women including myself, and I will fight you if you try to remove me. Farewell."

And these people, relieved to finally get a confirmation that they can get someone else on the task, just look at this letter like "what the fuck is a woman."

This is the funniest thing to see on my dash without context

This is taking too long.

Now there will be 30 polls a day instead of 10.

I have misread aromantic as aromatic so many times