That’s How I Imagine Myself

i love phose

Emma Nachtigall = I’m a nightingale!

Nachtigall Emma Garten

“be softer with you. you are a breathing thing. a memory to someone. a home to a life.”

— Nayyirah Waheed (via wordsnquotes)

Sometimes noise is all consuming and you can feel yourself fading out of reality.

“Arrival at Kepler 452b” by Dusty Crosley.

Beware of the hare that starts and stares in the glowing gloom of the moon!

Thoughtful response

Can someone please explain how autism is something that is good?

Like…. I have a hearing loss that is super significant in my life and I am slowly losing the rest of my hearing and its actually awful because one day I will not be able to wake up and listen to music to start my day.

My hearing loss is a bad thing, its a disability.

I want answers. I have been socially brought up to view autism as this terrible thing that makes things harder for that person. I have been brought up to look at it like its Down Syndrome, that it will definitely fuck up the rest of those peoples lives and it will be very hard for them to live on their own.

I need to know why society thinks its bad and tumble thinks its good.

I need to understand.

me @ my anxiety: not our fault, shut up.

anxiety: OK but what if it is?

what i say to THEM

don’t worry: your lack of kindness and empathy is only a black hole that’s swallowing your soul.

My experience with some people…

Source: unknown to me.

[Image description: A flower garden is surrounded by a high brick wall. We see a door in the wall has swung open, but perhaps usually the door is kept closed and locked so that the garden is private and secret. On the ground in the garden there are bright red flowers on the left, and on the right a mix of pink and purple flowers. The brick wall is covered with green-leafed vines. The door is painted light gray, but the paint is old and faded.]

When I go out into the world where the so-called normal people live, I sometimes feel resentful that I have to remain silent about so many things that interest and appeal to me. I feel I have to remain silent, because if I talk about these things I may get enthusiastic and go on for too long, and other people will find this annoying. In any case, they don’t want to hear about them. When I get enthusiastic, I get hopeful that they too may find these things interesting, but I am almost always disappointed. So it’s safer to be silent about them.

On the other side, I feel disdain for them and I also feel sorry for them. I think: “I have a secret garden with so many beautiful flowers in it, and it’s visited by honey bees and butterflies. And my cat is there too, playing in the grass. You people have no idea what you’re missing!” 

In a way, the fact that the garden is secret makes it more beautiful and more cozy to be in. But to be honest I do sometimes have daydreams about having a friend to share it with. 

This post is based on the idea for The Secret Garden, a book by Frances Hodgson Burnett, first published in 1911.