regulus: james, if you didn’t sleep last night then i’m very sorry, i was thinking about you.
james, distracted by a triangle shaped grape: …the illuminati have taken over the grape industry.
snape is serenading lily, and it’s quite distasteful.
snape: so come run your hands through my hair, ‘cause that’s why it’s there.
sirius (to remus and james): “come run your hands through my hair”? i can make some bloody fried chicken using all that grease in it.
plot: severus is confronting sirius after getting drenched with charmed water balloons.
severus: there’s a special place in hell just for you.
sirius: *placing his hand on his chest dramatically and wiping away a fake tear* f-for me? a special place in hell JUST for ME? that’s so sweet, so kind, and so welcoming.
people who were killed after dying:
1- dumblewhore: by all the marauders collectively, but lead by james.
2- peter pettigrowsomeballsplease: by sirius black and strangely regulus black too.
3- snivellus snape: by lily evans because “how dare you sacrifice my husband and son but ask for me to be spared?”
4- remus lupin and mary macdonald: they were suffocated by a hug from all the marauders.
headcanon:
sirius black LOVES $uicideboy$ and listens to them religiously.
sirius also keeps a shrine for ruby and $crim right next to the shrine he made for himself.
the marauders as the types of people you’d see on eid day! (eid at the prongs household)
wakes everyone up at 6am bc family is coming over: james.
is having the time of their life cooking in the kitchen or making all kinds of desserts: peter
spends HOURS getting ready, so they have to be woken up extra early: sirius and marlene.
gets dragged by their feet to go to eid prayers: sirius
“give me the fucking money” : remus and regulus.
hands out money in cute little envelopes: mary and lily.
uses a money shooter and enjoys watching the battle royale as everyone dives to the ground to collect as much money as possible: sirius and regulus // euphemia and fleamont.
steals all the money from the kids: dorcas.
modern au: the marauders all live and study together at a muggle university, but they’re going through ‘two weeks’ of online classes.
marlene: *bursts into the living room, laptop in hand where james, sirius and dorcas are sitting*
marlene: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LEAVE THE MEETING?
sirius: THE TA TRIED TO PUT ME IN A BREAK OUT ROOM WITH STRANGERS AND IM NOT HAVING ANY OF THAT.
marlene: COME BACK TO CLASS, YOU PUSSY.
sirius: IF YOU’RE GONNA CALL ME A PUSSY, YOU BETTER PUT ‘EATER’ AFTER IT. MY WAY- MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY!
remus: *unmuting himself and speaking*
remus: sirius, you’re gay and marlene, learn how to mute yourself.
james: if you all were to write a book, what would the title be?
james: ‘reasons i’m the greatest best friend in history.’
sirius: ‘the daily struggle of being sexy.’
remus: ‘the daily struggle of living with ‘sexy’.’
regulus: ‘why adult floaties are much more of a necessity than children’s ones.’
marlene: ‘how to keep ‘em wrapped around your finger, the marlene method.’
lily: ‘how to snag the richest guy in school, co-written by: remus lupin.’
mary: ‘a guide on how to outlive all your friends.’
dorcas: ‘bagging the hottest girl alive: a fool proof 6 month plan.’
peter: ‘why i demand monetary compensation for all the nights i’ve spent in detention because of ‘sexy’.’
tag game !!
thank you to @catssfforever for tagging me <33
highlight what applies to you!
hot shower or cold shower // texting or calling // earbuds or headphones // paperback or hardcover // matte or gel // 12 hour clock or 24 hour clock // blue or green // sunsets or sunrises // tulips or orchids // candle light or moonlight // sci-fi or horror // pen or pencil // pandas or koalas // gold or silver // sneakers or boots // denim jacket or leather jacket // pink or purple // chocolate or sour candy // deodorant or perfume // drive-in movie theater or the cinema // pastel colors or neutral/earth tones // lemonade or fruit juice // past or future //
i’m going to tag: @jegulily236 @widowsbite3 @tiredforeternity @persephones-stars @loopy-lupinn <33
james: sirius is about to come home from his third date any minute now.
regulus: third date? with the same guy? did he talk during the first two?
james: yeah no, i’m as shocked as you are.
RB if your blog is a safe, accepting space for asexuals!
a bunch of shitposts from a sirius black kinnie, what could possibly go wrong?anti-JKR, anti-dumbledore and anti-snape account18+
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