You Placed Your Heart Closely Next To Mine And I Felt Warm I Felt Whole I Felt Like My Heart Will Never

I want to discover freedom rename the emptiness inside of my mind I start to understand that nobody ever said emptiness had to be filled to enjoy, to feel, to be it`s only an assumption a comforting picture the feeling of feeling fulfilled. we are used to fix and fill and fit get uncomfortable around unknown, around space because we desire comfort which isn’t freedom in the first place so at the end of the day how can we feel free when we try to fill ourselves only to avoid the void inside of us Isn't it the empty blue sky which let the sun enlight the day? Isn't it the open dark sky which let the moon guard the night? why don't we use the free space and instead of calling it emptiness let’s call it freedom instead of calling it loneliness let’s call it independence instead of searching let's call it finding

Allow yourself  to heal Your life is not dedicated to  suffering and pain You are allowed  to feel delighted You are allowed to love to be loved to be loved by yourself

respect is not love and not a quality to fall for it’s a simple thing an act of human decency so don’t fool yourself by thinking they are the one only because they are human and know how to act like one

It is insane how intense I feel  your skin on mine even after you left I feel your hands which grab me tight and close  like it wasn't your phantom which drives his fingers over my body 

How all the water in the world isn’t enough to clean my skin from your touches which imprinted on my body and cover me with paintings I could never draw on my own

today I love you

tomorrow I hate you

next week we are forgotten

today you love me

tomorrow you miss me

next week we are forgotten

I used to feel so deeply for you but now I am confused about the love that I felt about the love that I lost

I used to feel so strong with my heart dancing in fire it never burned out it never lost its desire

I used to feel so passionate like it was only you and me passionate about us passionate about who we could be

Now I feel nothing of the things that I used to feel I stare into your eyes black holes, just as dead as mine

How could we become these deadly boring people? Weren't we the ones which used to breathe through kisses?

How could we lose all of this and slowly become enemies? we stopped to dance in our light we rather start wars in our shadow

How lovely it would be to go back to the art of passion but we buried it our fallen feeling of desire

You promised me

You would always be there

You are a liar

But I am one too

Because I promised you

The same

Go on, my love let's change our sheets let the dull whiteness reinvent our desire

Let's move, my love find a new house to call it home and ignore the empty space we can’t fill on our own

Let's go, my love what do you try to say? you would rather leave then to stay forever the same?

A farewell does not always feel like one

It can wear a mask of a new beginning, a new chapter

“Let's stay friends”

I am fine with that

as long as I can keep your ghost next to me

as long as I can hear your voice 

as long as I can keep your heart

as long as you can keep mine

Look at me

Look at me, with the eyes I used to see myself in

Look at me, don’t you feel anything? 

Nothing at all?

No

A lie I tell you

to hide my feelings, my desires

to hide me from you

I am floating in the lake of love

I created with my missing tears

I created a new person for you but as much as I created It wasn't enough for you.