I Used To Feel So Deeply For You But Now I Am Confused About The Love That I Felt About The Love That

I don’t have anything to hide My shadows are enlightened  My words are spoken What are your secrets? Show me your ghosts the demons you try to drown every night in the liquid you call solution

I created a new person for you but as much as I created It wasn't enough for you.

When will appear the day where I am finally ready to open my eyes? Stop hiding from days, months, years which I apologize with "Today is just one of the other kind"

Where I will stop dividing days into "this kind" and "good kind"

Where I won't fear falling asleep because of how terrifying it feels waking up and living without changes

Where driving home won't feel like an obstacle I can't overcome but end up panicking every Sunday all over it again

Where I am ready to open my eyes and perceive the colors of the world swallow them and start to see what I am missing by holding my eyes closed

old cigarettes and bitter black coffee a taste of discontent on the tip of my tongue closing my eyes to enter a storm of endless thoughts, a dusty brain sometimes my body feels too heavy to carry so I lay down and just stay in a strangers bed for as long as I can get away with it old sheets and red-stained walls a strangers bed became my home

don't let me go

if I try to leave

hold on, hold on

or I am gonna fall

just by proving you

I could fly on my own

without your wings

saving me from my

heavy stubbornness

With you

time seems to be

half of an existence

In the beginning it passes quickly

Not even noticeable

And then infinity

“I love you" seemed so scary to say you took the fear gifted me the words I've never heard leaving someone mouth Yet by touching your lips, I knew it wasn't a lie you told me it was your heart you offered

a name

There is a fragile beauty  in the way you are gone There is an absurd pleasure in the way you left There is a broken soul who used to find peace  with you And there is an empty voice which used to sing your name like a song to the stars

It is funny how things change How your name lies strangely on the tip of my tongue  How I absorb every single letter to find the hidden secret to why your name was so familiar once like a soulmate to mine but now fades away with your face and the peace it promised 

But I can’t stop I can’t stop repeating your name every night like a goodnight story  to scare the ghosts inside my chest and your spirit which stayed and still dances under the moonlight I still scream your name in my head until it feels like you again

Your promises sweet like honey touching my lips filling my soul Let’s see  How long you can keep  your promises of love, respect and security 

"Distance is pain"

you said

So I told you

that someday

we would be together

and "someday" would bring

the brightest stars

and the deepest talks

A little infinity

in our little amount

of time