Bucky: This Is So Dumb

Bucky: sorry im late i was doing things...

Sam: *out of breath* HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!!!!

Bucky: push is such a strong word, i prefer to call it "giving you a little nudge"

Sam: oh I'll give you "a little nudge" WHEN I SHOVE MY FOOT UP YOUR ARSE!

Bucky: HEY! Watch your fucking language infront of the captain

Steve:....

Peter: Tony

Tony: Yes Spidy

Peter: What's an alcoholic

Tony: Well you see those two birds up there, an alcholic would see four.

Peter: Tony there's only one bird up there.

Tony: Fuck!

Y/n: so when you finish training in America they give you a trash can lid?

Steve: shut up.

Y/n: are you the only one with a trash can lid?

Nat:Y/n, peter. What is the the meaning of this ridiculous high pitch scream? I see no blood.

Karen: your stupid reckless little ones just hit my angel hunter in the face with a snowball

Hunter: *wines*

Nat: and your name is?

Karen: Karen

Nat: ah Y/n peter you have exactly one opportunity to tell me what happened to hunter

Y/n: simple peter and i had constructed bunckers on either side of field

Peter: and we blow air horn as to warn other children this was now hotspot and epic snowbattle was about to commence

Y/n: in heat of snow ball battle with peter and i hunter snuck passed our barriers and simply og hit by crossfire

Nat: simple explanation your child is incompetent

Karen: you little monsters. So your just rising future criminals

Nat: i think only crime here is naming your son hunter. Should be pylon or sitting duck

Karen: you know what

Nat: waht you going to do karen teres no managers out her

Tony: You have both tried your best. And failed miserable. The lesson is never try.

Steve:

Bucky: i didnt fail to kill your parents

Tony:

Tony: SON OF A BITCH

Steve: okay.. *leaves*

Washington: oh yeah ill look it over nice work

Hamlinton: good thanks dad

Everyone: *stares*

Hamlinton: why is everyone starting at me?

Eliza: You just called General Washington dad

Hamilton: what? Nobi didnt i said thanks man

Washington: do you see me as a father figure Alexandre

Hamilton: what?! No! If anything i see him as a bother figure cause youre always bothering me

Madison: hey show your father some respect

Hamilton: i didnt call him dad!

Washington: No no no. Alex i take it as a compliment

Burr: its no big deal i called theodosia mom once and she's my fiance.

Hamiltion: guys jump on that burr has psychosexual issues

Jefferson: old news but you calling the general daddy

Hamilton: hey daddy is not on the table here

Seabury: but you did call call him dad dude

Hamilton: you shut up youve done nothing but lie since you got here

Bucky and steve: *in a hot tub*

Perter & Shuri: Two bros chilling in a hot tube five feet apart cuz they're not gay!

Tony & T'achalla:...

Game night #3

Nat: pink " send a 'you up' text to the last person you hooked up with"

Wanda: oh this should be good

Nat: alright sent

Y/n: *phone dings* its just fury

Wanda: oh haha for a second I just thought, never mind

Nat: im going to make some drinks

Y/n: make mine a double

Y/N: natty can i jump off the roof into the pool

Natasha: Y/N no

Y/N: why?

Nataha: because it's very dangerous

Y/N: BUT I WANNA

Natasha: ok brake your neck and drown i dont giva shit..

Things Bucky says while he is eating you out (Bucky x female reader)

18+ only, Minors DNI

***************************************

“You taste so fucking good baby”

“You are so wet for me honey”

“Gonna eat you till you cry sweetheart”

“Gushing for me baby, gonna make you cum so hard”

“Thats it princess, open that pussy up for me”

“You are the sweetest thing I have tasted all day”

“Wanna suck on your pretty clit baby”

“Eyes on me honey, need to see your eyes while my tongue is inside”

“Wanna hear you sweetheart, need to hear those pretty moans while I’m eating you”

“Fuck yes princess, fuck that pussy into my mouth”

“Please baby, need to taste you again, please let me taste you”

“Ass up sugar, I wanna eat you from behind”

“Not yet baby, need to make you cum on my tongue again”

“Making my beard so wet gorgeous, gonna smell like you all day”

“Fuck baby can’t get enough of this pussy”

“Thats it honey, ride my fucking tongue”

“Nothing tastes as good as you baby”

“Use my mouth honey, my mouth is yours, my tongue is yours”

“Love it when you cum hard on my tongue beautiful”

“Please baby I need it, I need your cum in my mouth”

“One more gorgeous, one more on daddy’s tongue”

“Mmmmmm yes baby, fuck, don’t stop cumming for me, gonna swallow all that cum”

“Fuck yes sweetheart, love seeing those eyes rolling back with my tongue deep inside”

“Feed me my pussy baby, give it to me”