Steve: When You Joined The Avengers Did You Say Youll Be An Asset Or Just An Ass?

Peter: Tony

Tony: Yes Spidy

Peter: What's an alcoholic

Tony: Well you see those two birds up there, an alcholic would see four.

Peter: Tony there's only one bird up there.

Tony: Fuck!

Y/n: so when you finish training in America they give you a trash can lid?

Steve: shut up.

Y/n: are you the only one with a trash can lid?

So like anyone here like the school for good and evil???

Peter: Mr. Pool what sexuality are you?

Deadpool: Sexual.

Peter: what???

Deadpool: Sexual.

Hydra: hello mr. Barnes we're going to take your arm off.

Bucky: i think i just need help.

Hydra: give you cool robot arm

Steve: did you have a good day?

Sam: yes

Bucky: no

Sam: shut up

Steve: a good day ?

Sam: yes

Bucky: no

Sam: shut up

Steve: you're supposed to have taken him to the spa

Sam: i took him to the spa

Bucky: he put me in the vegetable steamer

Sam: it's the same thing!

Steve: it's not the same thing!

Sam: it is too, it gets hot, and it gets steamy, and then it goes ding

Bucky: purple bastard

Sam: maxican condiment

Steve: a condiment?

Bucky: i do not use them

Sam: you dont?

Bucky: and niether did your mother

Tony: You have both tried your best. And failed miserable. The lesson is never try.

Steve:

Bucky: i didnt fail to kill your parents

Tony:

Tony: SON OF A BITCH

Steve: okay.. *leaves*

Ok but can we look at how support the mum is and how happy he is to find out he's a dad???

why is the metal community so pressed abt this it’s literally hilarious. 10/10. love it. i want it.

Steve: look how cute these pens are

Bucky: steve thats gay

Steve: bucky we've been dating for...

Please Reblog is Your Blog is Safe for Non-Binary People.

If my mutuals can’t rb this then we can’t be mutuals