[gently Slides This Ask Into Your Inbox] May I Have 1 Margarita. Or Perhaps 1 Nemesis. Th Choice Is Yours.

light yagami hcs but theres actually a psychoanalysis for some of them

— light has social anxiety. HEAR ME OUT!!!! he wouldnt admit it to anyone (himself included). for him it doesn’t manifest in the way where he apologizes for everything, stutters over his words, etc. instead; he grew up not able to make friends easily because it was always hard to relate when he was already so much more mentally developed than everyone else, and his mom caught on to this, so being the kind mother she is, sachiko tries to make him feel better about it because she thought that it upset him. same w his father. so growing up he was constantly told that he was just more mature than his peers and ir wasnt his fault, which caused him to develop a superiority complex, “i don’t have friends because im better than everyone else, and they bore me.” was probably his thought process, similar to how tomoko (watamote) is w her social anxiety, he blames everyone else for his loneliness rather than thinking there’s something wrong with him. again, similarly to tomoko, he changes the way he is to seem more normal even if he doesnt care to surround himself w people. he overthinks every conversation he has even before he becomes kira and is constantly questioning if he seemed normal enough 😧

— light likes carrot cake. no reason for this one except i rly like carrot cake so he obviously has to be the biggest fan of carrot cake ever

— if the death note didnt exist, and light didnt become kira and neither did anyone else, he would’ve experienced gifted kid burnout for the first time in his life being absolutely bored out of his mind, and he would’ve become severely depressed, borderline suicidal because it seemed like nothing mattered anymore and slowly but surely, he wouldve stopped having the motivation to participate in school, stopped trying to seem normal for the ppl around him, stopped talking to anyone in general, and likely became a recluse or kill himself. i say this bc i think the only reason he never became like that is bc he became kira, giving him a ‘purpose’ in life (passing judgement)

— light has a short temper, due to constantly having to mask around people. he tried to take his moms advice on making a friend in like 4th grade and when he came home, he went straight to his room, locked the door, and screamed into his pillow for a good 30 minutes from pure exhaustion and exasperation. safe to say he stayed polite after that, but never tried to have a genuine conversation with anyone ever again. this fueled his superiority complex probably, enforcing the belief that he was smarter and just generally better than everyone else around him.

— if he ever met beyond, b would absolutely test his patience. im under the belief that if they were acquaintances for a while, light would’ve tried to strangle b at least once. it would not work, and b would find that hilarious, because light doesnt like getting his hands dirty, and the first and only time he tries, he fails miserably. bloodmoon truthers i love you

— he has 97 mental illnesses and is banned from most public spaces /ref (personally i hc him w npd, aspd, avpd, & ocd)

— he got a cat when he moved out of his parents house and would absolutely go batshit (even more so) if anything ever happened to it. like a john wick situation. also the cats name is ai (愛), meaning love in japanese :3

— bloodmoon hc #2 , in the situation where instead of dying, b finds light on the staircase and saves him, fixing him up himself instead of going to a hospital for obvious reasons. also light would give up ownership of the book to b, but would have the book with him at all times to keep his memories. light hates him at first both because b is a murderer and bc he reminds light too much of L. over time they become sort of replacements for each other. light sees L in b, and b sees A in light (physical similarities for both)

— light despises apples. hes always pictured w them bc of ryuk, but thats exactly why he hates them. ryuk would have him buy every apple he sees, or just apple themed things and light would be sooo pissed and yell at ryuk for draining his wallet

— light has a phobia of needles. whenever he has to get a shot or something he’ll keep a tight-lipped smile but would be freaking the fuck out in his mind

ummm thats all for now methinks. yea ^_^ light is literally me so this is all very real trust

@retroyal​

LOOK WHAT YOU’VE MADE ME DO

might be a bit odd or a stretch and written poorly by me (sorry if its rambly basically) but mithrun has such interesting but devastating symbolism and importance for a message in dunmeshi.

(TW SA/ABUSE MENTIONS)

the goat (demon) being an abusive relationship that to you who is in it only sees a nice perfect person doing anything for you, only for things to slowly get worse and worse… leading to SA (it’s not actual SA but the imagery has subtle implications of it) and other forms of physical and psychological abuse.

this leaving mithrun in an intense state of depression, ptsd and other issues like getting mana sickness really easily, which is also connected to the physical disabilities he got from said abuse. and due to these states he finds he can not desire anything anymore, he can only feel empty, not even a desire to get help and only feels a strong anger to the person and tries to prevent anyone else from going through the same.

but he’s not a lost cause.

“so.. even vegetable scraps have their uses, huh?”

he blames himself for his trauma, he sees himself as worthless and not one to be desired anymore because of what he went through. and realizing this, realizing that he actually has grown a desire to BE desired even just in a simple way to be needed (helping with falin) he finally can crack through that depression. the ptsd is still there, the physical disabilities are still there, but through surrounding himself with community of people with different views and trauma has helped him realize he is not broken and shouldn’t be blaming himself for something that was out of his control.

he wants to do new things, he wants to live now and it’s so beautiful to see.

plus, as kabru says here how the desires being eaten is not what it seems like is such an interesting fact. sure the demon ate his desires he had in that moment, making him believe he could never desire again but in fact he could get new desires (change/grow/heal) plus, traveling with kabru, he did show desires whether they be small or not.

in this moment he showed full horror about this memory. now if he was loss of desire, then he shouldn’t even desire to feel fear about this right? shouldn’t he only feel anger due to the revenge? which once again, shows his whole healing journey.

he’s such a great character with so much representation, and in turn is also a character that can show hope for someone like thistle who now is going through similar things and is practically hospitalized.

there is hope, you will heal, you are gonna be okay and your trauma is real but it does not shape you as a person, you are safe now.

dunmeshi is such a great depiction of that

im rereading dunmeshi and this one page really made me stop and think. we know that he could just teleport directly to where her body is and bisect & explode her instantly, and he would be fine. we know he knows he can do that from the bonus comic where he does that. but he doesnt

i think this is a choice and not an oversight. we find out in chapter 94 that this whole time, hes been throwing himself back into dungeon after dungeon - not so much because hes on a true quest for revenge, but because the only thing he has left that he wants in the whole entire world is to finish being eaten by the demon. no wants no needs no desires other than the singular, unstoppable drive to kill the demon or be killed trying. and he really REALLY wants to be killed trying, to the point where at the end, hes disappointed he survived (in not quite so many words, as the chapter tries to maintain some levity, but.)

i think he picks this impractical move that's failed in this exact way before because the act of violence itself is more important to him than success. he doesnt actually want to save the world. he just wants to put himself in that things mouth again

consider this alongside the previous time he tried this maneuver. we never see him carrying any weapons, he always has to improvise a knife even though hes so clearly a knife fighter. i think the canaries dont let him carry sharp objects for a reason

Fuck man I knew aai 1-4 had MVK being dismissive and abusive to the siblings but fuck man.

Actively saying that attending his 13 year old daughters courtroom debut isn't a priority for him

Then this exchange which is prompted by nothing beyond Miles asking to do his job even using the Von Karma framing of finding perfection only for Manfred to just completely shut him down and verbally abuse him

Miles then being completely unable to respond in shame. Even though this is God damn Bratworth were talking about and in the last scene he was saying this

And then Fran coming in to desperately try and deflect her father ire to protect him

Then when she finally does convince him to let them investigate he says this

Basically actively admitting to anyone with the context we have now that he's only making Miles a procecutor to sully Gregory's legacy.

Then Miles thanking her because he saw her defelcting Manfreds abuse for him.

Just absolutely heart breaking. It really shows the dynamic at play here perfectly. He doesn't care about Franziska. He is not putting this energy into her career and only putting it into Miles' because he is using it as an avenue to abuse and control him and further enact his revenge on Gregory. And she doesn't understand why. She doesn't get why Miles gets this attention and she doesn't. But she already knows that she has to deflect his attention to protect Miles. And Miles doesn't understand how he's doing everything he can to do the right thing but is still his target. Its such a genuinely interesting dynamic where both of them think the other is the favourite. Miles thinks it Fran because he's not constantly verbally abusing her and Fran thinks it's Miles because he actually bothers to give him the time of day and is properly mentoring him. She's 13 man. She's about to become a prosecutor at 13 and he still doesn't care about her in the slightest.

Ugh Von Karma siblings, my heart

The more I learn about burn wounds in class, the more abundantly clear it becomes to me that Christopher really should have died just from the burns on his face alone

self indulgent death note au where everything is the same execpt Lights a fucking loser. Everything is the same except hes literally just tomoko from watamote. overthinks everything. everyone thinks hes this cool suave guy but in his head hes just like “god DAMMIT ohhm y god no. noX I FORGOT MY FUCKING COFFEE ORDER THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING AND PATHETIC I NEED TO KILL MY SELF NOW???3” while the barista’s looking at him sighing dreamily. (plot twist: the barista is misa and her coworker is L. they both have very different opinions on light. misa just looks at him and thinks “what a guy.” and L’s only opinion on him is “wow what a loser he looks like hes in a constant state of sopping wet cat. (affectionate) ) Light is in crises half the time and people DO hate him but not for the reason he thinks. instead its because in his trying to always be perfect and get to places on time, he runs to places a lot and accidentally pushes people. so. much. atp theres a support group for people that Light Yagami has accidentally pushed in his hurry. anyways sorry for rambling i love light a lot but i think they should have internally made him a loser because come on. he has sad wet cat material and they wasted it on sad religious imagery of a teenage boy yearning to be something more. jk i love him :3 i just think he could have been more tragic in a radiohead/alex g way instead of a mitski way if u understand what that means.

forgot to post this doodle uhhhhhhh

Omg!!! Leaks from the next Mafuyu event????

playing with the leftovers is your fate!! (♪)