Okay But Imagine FIXING Xiao's Smudged Eyeliner

HI HI thanks for the tag !! fall out boy & panic!... i see u. taste

Brain Pain // Four Year Strong

Saccharine // Jazmin Bean

WiLDFiRE // fish narc

I Come With Knives // IAMX

Judas // Lady Gaga

Please Don’t Tell My Father That I Used His 1996 Honda Accord To Destroy The Town Of Willow Grove, Pennsylvania In 2002 // Pet Symmetry

R.I.P.D.I.Y. // Love Spread

Grace Kelly // MIKA

The Divine Zero // Pierce the Veil

Don’t Stop Me Now // Queen

tagging: i don’t rly know anyone here, so if you want to join in, consider yourself tagged ✌️

rules: we’re snooping in your playlist. put your entire music library on shuffle and list the first 10 songs and then choose 10 victims.

tagged by @whatmakesyouahero and @katyannasnowswift 2 tags I’m so honored thanks friends!!!

1. Better by Khalid

2. Whatever It Is by Zac Brown Band

3. Eastside by Benny Blanco, Halsey, and Khalid

4. Crazy In Love by Beyoncé and Jay-Z

5. Remind You by Andy Grammer

6. Best Friend by Sofi Tukker

7. Fear by X Ambassadors and Imagine Dragons

8. Sunday Morning by Maroon 5

9. Winter Wonderland/Here Comes Santa Claus Mashup by Snoop Dogg and Anna Kendrick

10. Drunk by Ed Sheeran

tagging @myheartisbro-ken, @the-gayest-dovah, @theolufem, @always-caffeinated-lesbian, @infartoomanyfandoms, @lucky1fancy4wolf, @ostropest, @cakeexplosion, @writerperson7, @sprqpointintern

S/o that asks for affection unconsciously when they wake up without even noticing (nsfw?), how would the Bucci gang + josuke + young joseph+ giorno react? :>

So I don’t age up characters for NSFW, so I’ll just do fluff for Narancia, Josuke, Fugo, Giorno and Trish, but I will add some Adult Characters with NSFW for your troubles. :) I’ll add a cut for the NSFW as well so anyone can read before the cut, but only 18+ after please!

Warnings: Language

Bucciarati (Fluff):

-He’s surprised when you hug him from behind when just standing around, or when you slip your hand in his just sitting, or stand behind him while he’s sitting and scratch his back (BLEASE DO THIS FOR HIM he will on god love you forever) 

-So when you two decide to move in, he’s also surprised to find that this carries over into sleeping. 

-He’ll wake up with you literally splayed out on top of him, And he blushes so hard. He’ll try to gently push you off of him back onto the bed, because surely you can’t be comfortable like that.

-Will immediately stop when you tighten your grip and stir, instead allowing his hands to rest on your back.

-He’s honestly not used to it but he will indulge you because god you’re so warm, and so soft and so beautiful in his arms. 

-You’ll notice when you’re awake that he’ll start to return your touches, leaning into your back scratches, squeezing your hand when you slip yours into his, Place his hands over your arms when you hug him from behind. 

-Will never say why, though. It’s his secret. 

Abbacchio (Fluff):

-You may not notice, but god, does he.

-He Panic. You’re half awake, and you just reach out and pull yourself closer to him, nuzzling your face into his chest, Your breath evening out. 

-Oh god what does he do with his hands are you even comfortable there’s no way you’re comfortable jesus what the hell

-He opts to push you away, but you tighten your hold, babbling something out in your sleep about being warm. 

-(He do be warm tho ngl) 

-It takes everything, and I mean, E v e r y t h i n g in him to give in and rest his arms around you, but once he does, and you snuggle even closer? God he’s in love. You’re literally the most precious thing to him. 

-When you’re awake tho he will absolutely push you off the bed without remorse. (Expect a top of the head kiss from him though he’s soft.) 

Mista (Fluff):

-He’s laying awake, tracing his finger along the wall, making damn sure the sex pistols don’t wake you. 

-In his distraction, you reach out, grasping his arm and hugging it. 

-(Arcana reference but Julian laugh) Oh ho ho!

-He takes note that you’re still asleep, and pulls you on top of him, securing his arms around you so that you don’t slip off. 

-Instead of tracing the wall, he will now be trailing his fingers up and down your arms and back, and through your hair. 

-His heart is melting you’re so god damn cute. He’ll tighten his grip, just gazing down at you with nothing but adoration in his eyes. 

-He will tease the everloving shit out of you when you wake up. Like he will not stfu about it. 

-He will also be a million times more physically affectionate with you during the day lol it’s sickening

-He is NOT stinky JFC

Fugo: 

-Whaaaaat are you doing?

-Oh, you’re asleep.

-WHAAATTT ARE YOU DOIIINNNGGGGG

-He’ll stiffen up, but oh no you’re sleeping he cant just...push you away... he’s not heartless....

-He is confused to say the least, and a lil bit uncomfy, but he trusts you. 

-Watches as your features relax as your face presses into the crook of his neck and your arm tightens around his middle. Oh fuck you’re cute

-you’ve won him over. 

-He’ll wrap an arm around your waist, (So you don’t fall dsjdsjdsj) and let you be close to him. He enjoys it too, if he’s being honest. You’re so cute. 

-When you wake up, he’s much kinder and softer towards you. He’ll make any excuse to gently bump knees while you’re sitting or to brush his hand against yours while reaching for something. 

-Only because you asked for it tho

Narancia:

-Nani in tarnation is goin on?

-He’s completely taken by surprise. You’re asleep? And you want him? To hold you? ???? ?????? *Windows start up sounds* 

-He literally doesn’t know what to do He’s so soft and so confused with his negative brain cells (I do hate him but I will admit he does have a big heart he is a sweetie) 

-He will, a little too eagerly, hug you back. His tenacity may or may not wake you up. (It does. Sorry.) 

-You wake up to a surprise hug though so win win?

-The more you subconsciously ask, the more he gives, until you two are literally glued together. (Social distancing whomst? We don’t know her.) 

-Expect sloppy kisses everywhere. On the other hand, funnily enough, you will have to initiate the hugging. He’s so scared. What if he hugs you too tight? What if he wakes you up again? What if he suffocates you? What if you don’t like his hugs

-Hug him jfc he needs reassurance that you want to be held. 

-Sleepy morning hugs where you two are just breathing in sync and there’s not a care in the world are his favorite

Giorno-

-He is a light sleeper. I know I’ve said this before, but he is a very, very, very light sleeper. 

-So when you reach out and grasp at any piece of him you can reach, trying to close the gap between you (It’s a cold winter morning, come on) 

-He’ll startle awake and look over at you to check and see if you’re okay. 

-Oh, you are okay. Oh, you just want held? Alright. He’s up for that. Oh. You’re asleep? He’ll have to be especially careful to not wake you. 

-He will pull you close and rub circles into your back, pressing his cheek against the top of your head. He might even fall back asleep. If you stir, it’s not for long. His warmth and soothing movements lull you back to sleep in the safety of his arms. 

-When you’re awake, he’ll definitely be more affectionate, pressing tiny flowers into your hands, brushing your hair back, k i s s i n g y o u r k n u c k l e s (Im so fucking soft) 

-But seriously imagine Giorno getting down on one knee, taking your hand, and brushing his lips against your knuckles while looking up at you with literally nothing but love and affection in his eyes im going to cry

-Anything he does will have you a blushing mess

Trish:

-Who tf is waking her up? 

-oh, it’s you

-Oh, you’re hugging her

-OH, You’re still asleep.

-O H, you’re fucking cute!

-She’ll study you for a minute, before reaching up to lightly cup your cheek in her hand, careful not to wake you up. Her fingers will flutter over your face, tracing your features. She absolutely adores how precious you look snuggled up against her. 

-When you wake up, expect to have your hand held all day. Trish is the queen of hand holding. She will also take your face in her hands and kiss the corners of your lips, and rest her head on your shoulder when you two are sitting next to each other.  

-She’ll have this smug look on her face the whole time too dsjdsjdsjdsjds 

-Will absolutely do the disgusting feeding each other thing. “Babe, try this!” *Proceeds to hold forkful of food in front of your mouth. “Oh, that looks good, can I have some?” *Lets you do the same* 

-It’s revolting and I love it. 

Joseph (Fluff):

-He’s already awake. He’s got to get up early and train (Viva reverie reference: “With these tall hat guys for a looooong time!”)  But oops, you just so happened to burrow against him, and your arm seems to have found its way across his stomach. What a predicament, you’re still asleep! He can’t wake you!

-He decides that he just doesn’t have the heart to move you, and wraps his arms around you to pull you even closer. What if you get cold? He’s warm, you’ll be warm next to him!

-He will hold you against him until you wake up, no matter how late it makes him. Punishments be damned. You’re way too cute and this opportunity is way too good to pass up. 

-In all honesty though he’s elated that you want him to hold you. This carries over into you being awake. He’ll be hanging off of you. Hell, He’ll carry you around if you give the okay. He will absolutely kneel so he can carry you around on his shoulders. 

-He’s very handsy, so rip to your personal space. You asked for it, after all. You wanna sit in that chair over there? Aww, that’s too bad. He’s your chair now. 

-Are you complaining tho? He’s got some thicc thighs, you’ll be pretty comfy. 

-Psst his hands are gonna be like twice your size compare hand sizes he will love it

Josuke:

-He’s already cuddly bb

-But if on the rarest of rare occasions he either 1.) wakes up before you or 2.) Isnt already holding you, and you press closer to him in your sleep, just maybe ball his shirt up in your fists as you clutch at him, yearning for the affection you’re too scared to ask for when you’re awake

-Oh god he cry

-He cry so hard

-He is the (Parker James’ Steven Voice) CEO of bear hugs. Especially if someone as adorable as you is cuddling up against him.

-He will pull you up against him and bury his face in your hair, maybe even falling back asleep himself. (good luck getting out of his embrace when he’s asleep lol There’s no chance.) 

-it is always a nice surprise to wake up cocooned in his arms, his entire body wrapped around you. 

-When you’re both awake, He’ll do lots of little things for you. Absentmindedly rub your back and shoulders, sling an arm around your shoulders, link pinkies, hold hands, forehead kisses

-He will lift you up and spin you around and kiss you but shh don’t tell anyone

-He is

-so GOD damn soft I love him 

NSFW BELOW THE CUT

18+ ONLY

Keep reading

i want you to stop. my fantasy is people not sexualizing minors anymore

Hello anon!!!

First and foremost I would like to say I have not mentioned any ages of the characters I’ve written about. So YOU’RE the one assuming they’re minors.

Two obvious age ones is the spiderverse fic(which is pure fluff♥) and succubus in training. Both take place in highschool, BUT you can be 18 in highschool sweetheart. Also, I hate to be the one to tell you but a lot of BNHA fics (lemon ones too!) take place at UA.

Second, I’m not sure if you know, but BNHA is actually a fictional show. I know!!!! The characters are animated and it’s not based off of real world events. I know how to separate fiction from reality. Do you??? I hope seeing my work doesn’t effect your mindset just how I’m sure it’s not effecting the people who follow me and enjoy my writing♥

Finally, do not tell me to stop on my own blog lmao. I’m assuming you don’t follow me and just stumbled across one of my tagged posts. It’s my blog, I’ll continue to write lemon content for the people who do enjoy FAN-FICTION.

Have a wonderful day ♥

Come now, don't be shy, share the horny thoughts you have of Gorou.

ajsfakj the way Sam summoned the Gorou fuckers into my inbox 💀 babey this isnt even the first Gorou-mentioning thirst I've gotten within the span of an hour HAHAHA

Fr tho I WILL I WILL I WILL I promise–– A little room in my brain containing Gorou thirsts have just been unlocked and they're aching to be let out soon 😭

I gotta get back to farming sea flowers but fOR NOW;; I leave you with this thirst: 

I only meant to write one paragraph wait––

⠀You know when I see Gorou i just ffucking know this mans stamina will be your undoing. DO you see him??? DO you see the hand on his hip in that one leaked image?? motherfucker if that doesn’t look like a man who can fuck you till you’re crying and overstimulated and keep goin then shit I’m straight. 

⠀ALSO?? I hope I’m not projecting but,,,, canine boy?? Breeding kink duh. Doesn’t even have to be the whole ‘get you pregnant’ vibe if you’re not into that/you’re anatomy doesn’t vibe w it and you don’t want it. He just likes fucking you until his cum is so deep in your hole and you’re stuffed so full that there’s a little bump in your belly from his cum. 

⠀Babe and his ears and his tail–– look me in the eye and tell me he doesn’t like it when you touch them during sex. Look me in the eye and tell me he doesn’t like it when you touch them during sex. if you reach back while this puppy boy is railing you on all fours and you scratch this specific patch of skin on his ear, he’s immediately gasping your name, biting into your shoulder hard enough to leave a mark, and drills into you harder than he did before. And If you pull and stoke on his tail while you suck him off, Gorou is gonna be putty in your hands, tangling his fingers into your hair and whimpering for you to take more of him into your mouth please please.

⠀Okay this one isn’t,, super horny, but I can see Gorou licking up your tears when he rails you, peppering your face with smooches and licks while he makes you see stars. AlsO I can really see Gorou having a thing for tasting your cum?? I dunno it sounds weird when i type it out but listen listen imagine that you two just finished, right, and you literally cannot feel your lower half and your thighs are trembling atp, and the most noise you can make is a hoarse whimper as he pulls out. But when Gorou sees the cum that’s pooled on your belly from how hard you came, he’s so transfixed by the sight of it that he swipes a bit of it up on his fingers, stares at it for a bit, then just sticks his fingers in his mouth. And he even runs his tongue through it and shit all hot and sexy like as if its a goddamn popsicle or something. And from the way that he pauses, how his eyes widen, his tail wags and he licks his lips with a reignited hunger? THe next time he goes down on you he’s definitely swallowing your cum uh huh.

⠀LAST ONE bc i fr need to farm kjbfajks BUT ever since I had that talk w sam, I have genuinely been thinking of Gorou wearing a collar/choker that you got him during sex. Like, imagine pulling the fabric of the collar to the side just a bit to leave nips and love bites on Gorou’s neck while he rails you. Imagine that while Gorou fucks you into the mattress, he’s towering over you, watching as the moan and gasp and cry for him, and in his mind you look ethereal. Mans is literally salivating on the spot tbh. And when you open your eyes and see the way he watches you so adoringly, so lovingly as if you put the stars in the sky, you hook two fingers under his collar and pull him down for a kiss, making him moan into your mouth as heat and love sparks in your chest.

⠀NOONE ASKED but I’m also so sure that Gorou is literally the best at aftercare. No, I will not elaborate. 

⠀

This is a Tumblr hug! Pass it on to your ten favorite followers and mutuals ✨💞

HI THANK YOU !!! <3 <3 i don't rly know anyone here so i think i know who this is?? just know yall are free to talk to me anytime, i'd love to make a few friends here ;w;

Is it alright if i req hcs of kaeya, diluc, zhongli finding out they have a vampire s/o and they have all these cool vampire abilities and can be a bat and etc? Thanks 😊

Vampires go brr is all I say

Requests are back open! I’m planning that nth-hundred special thing soon but for the time being I’ll take more requests <3

Pairings; (Seperate) Kaeya, Diluc, and Zhonglii x reader

Warning(s); no explicity nsfw just mentions

Keep reading under the cut!

Kaeya

Man if he wasn’t already whipped for you the added fact of you’re a vampire is so cool to him. If it’s not a secret he’s definitely like “check out my s/o everyone rn, okay, do the bat thing”

Hickeys are interesting and Kaeya is far too down bad for it. He loves the feeling of your fangs literally anywhere on his body

He also loves the feeling of your fangs brushing up against his lips

If you turn into other animals Kaeya is just there like ‘holy shid my s/o right now’

Yelling ‘down bad’ at Kaeya is just apart of your common lingo at this point

Thanks to your aversion to sunlight midnight exhibitions and explorations are the best thing to Kaeya

He wants to know everything you can do and will likely test your limits

If you’re the floaty kind of vampire Kaeya loves being held in the air

If you’re the kind of vampire that can turn into mist please prank him when he goes into a hug, it’ll be funny to watch him eat shit 

Give him a kiss after though. It doesn’t matter how funny it is just remind the man you love him

If you’re particularly older than him expect him to ask what certain aspects of the past really are true and what’s just made up to keep the calm 

Do you still pray to the god of your homeland, be it Barbatos or any other. If not why? 

How were you turned? Were you born a vampire? Were you born in Teyvat or Khaenri'ah? If you’re from Khaenri'ah was it before or after the gods betrayed the people?

If you’re as secretive as Kaeya it’s interesting to see how much you can reveal while he continues to keep his cards to his chest

Diluc

He has to be sure you’re not a threat to Mondstat before he even thinks about forming a platonic relationship with you, let alone a romantic one

Diluc isn’t sure what attracts you to him, probably the thrill of danger. The act of placing his life into a person who could snap him like a twig

Every brush or your fangs or scratch of your nails is a reminder of his fragility compared to your superior strength. 

He’s into it way more than he’d like to admit and you know it.

Your days are often spent sleeping, and usually Diluc will sleep the mornings with you sleeping, afternoons and evenings are strictly business time to him

If you help out with his Darknight Hero rounds he’s more than happy to have you about. And he loves seeing your raw power tear through Abyss Mages forcefields quicker than he can with his vision

It’s funny watching Diluc skirt about questions about your past, especially once you’re in a relationship. Though unlike other vampires, you’re more open to sharing your secrets with Diluc than others.

Diluc being a secretive person himself doesn’t speak of your own vampiric abilities

Diluc is the original hypeman in the shadows. Anything you do is immediately met with praise, especially when it comes to your vampiric abilities;

Turn into a bat or other animal mid battle to move the battle to your advantage after he’ll just tell you how cool the move was

Turn into mist to fuck with the abyss mages like they do everyone else? Hell yeah payback bitch

Teleport into an abyss mages forcefield to take em down? Number 1 hype man right here

Diluc will compliment you on all the cool things you did on the walk back to the winery and man seeing his face light up his the best thing

You can guess this is what he was like before his fathers death, this cheery smiley man. It’s a shame you don’t get to see it more

Zhongli

Zhongli knew there was something different about you, something not human and once he finds out about your vampiric status everything kind of melds together. The reason why you are never seen on lovely bright days

Though the fact you’re seen at all during the day is something to behold actually and the first question to leave Zhongli’s mouth is ‘why can you go outside during the day?’

You explain that you’re a particularly old and strong vampire, rivalling some of the youngest gods in age. You had once had a coven but many of it’s members but your kind had been hunted to near extinction by archon loyalists who saw you all as blasphemous 

Sitting at the table with other historians is always so much fun for both of you, especially with your contradicting opinions on the geo archon. Though your opinions aren’t necessarily bad but it’s more like you see them in a different light considering your age and knowledge of the world

Zhongli enjoys talking to you about divinity. So much so that you think that Zhongli is constantly dropping hints that he is the Geo Archon himself

You don’t question him but instead drop hints back at him that you know, small things that makes him question internally about it.

Its not often you or Zhongli go about fighting, the two of you much prefer to sit, drink tea and have a good chatter

Though the centuries of battling shows when the both of you are thrown into battle, you often bounce off of each other with ease. And with the added flare of your shapeshifting abilities your enemies will always perish

Around Liyue Harbour both you and Zhongli are friendly with the kids, often treating them to popsicles or games of tag and hide and seek. Despite the fact that the two of you don’t look a day over 30 many of the children give you sweet nicknames with any kind of relation to grandparents

The other vampires you have left you will visit often, usually when Zhongli is visiting his adepti. Seeing your children thrive in all corners of Teyvat without the security of a nest of vampires is admirable. Its no wonder they have survived this long

While you’re not as lively as the younger vampires both you and Zhongli cause your fair bit of trouble and have the most fun you can possibly can have

killshot anon! YEAH i totally agree w/ your view on kaeya. it's so weird to me that people will blame him for his role in a situation he was forced into as a child through no choice of his own. that itself had to be traumatic, not to mention everything that happened later. i hate when people say he's untrustworthy - like yeah, he's lied, so has everyone? it's clear he does it mostly to protect himself. not to mention that (& sadism) can be symptoms of trauma. kaeya deserves nothing but happiness

take a seat folks it’s time for a “brynn should’ve been an english major” lesson! today we’re gonna learn some literary theory; specifically, we’re gonna apply psychoanalytical trauma theory to kaeya’s backstory and current character. killshot anon i bet you never thought this would result in a whole ass essay.

disclaimer one! you are allowed to dislike kaeya! i am not saying you need to like him or his character, you’re entitled to your opinion and i’m not here to change your mind.

disclaimer two! i am in no way an expert and this is all for fun! this is just my silly little analysis of one of my favorite characters as someone who’s studied literary theory and rhetoric and can also apply personal experience. seriously analysis is like a hobby to me and this is just an excuse for me to ramble about kaeya.

disclaimer three! this contains lots of spoilers! basically for everything we know in-game, general knowledge as well as stuff from his voicelines and character story. don’t read this if you don’t want spoilers.

since this is going to be filled with spoilers and is about to get really long, everything will be under a cut. for those who wanna read my dumb super informal essay: enjoy!

final note: yeah this is over 2000 words long can you tell i like analysis

⭒

let’s start by getting a quick rundown of trauma theory out of the way. to begin, what is “trauma?” in this case, trauma is going to refer to an experience that greatly affects and changes one’s life; attitudes, memories, behaviors, mental state, etc. while not all changes may be bad, per se, the overall effect of trauma is generally a negative one, which is why it’s so significant. literary trauma theory, then, explores these changes and the impact of trauma in literature. it analyzes the psychological and social effects of trauma, explaining what those effects are and why they happen. in the context of a specific character, trauma theory breaks down said character’s behaviors, feelings, and general mentality in relation to their past experiences; trauma theory hopes to explain to others the reasons for why a character may act or feel the way they do, all based upon the character’s experiences, particularly traumatic ones. our character today is the lovely kaeya alberich, with the “literature” being genshin impact. i’ll be referencing kaeya’s wiki page to ensure i get all details correct for his character story and voicelines.

it would be good to review kaeya’s backstory before delving into the actual analysis. though we don’t know much about his life before living in mondstadt, we’re told he was sent as an agent of khaenri’ah. and by “sent,” i mean his biological father abandoned him in a completely unfamiliar land to serve khaenri’ah’s interests and fullfil his mission—what this entirely entails hasn’t been revealed. mondstadt, however, welcomed kaeya “with open arms when they found him.” crepus ragnvindr took him in as his adopted son, with diluc as his adopted brother. kaeya and diluc were “almost like twins,” so close they “[knew] each other’s thoughts and intentions without a word.” he’d began a new life in mondstadt, one surrounded by friends and family that loved him; one that was completely shattered by crepus’s death. kaeya arrived at the scene of the disaster, and was led to believe diluc was the one who killed their father to “set his father free” from the effects of his delusion. there’d always been one big question in kaeya’s life: if it came down to it, who would he support? the nation that abandoned him, but he still felt loyal to, or the nation and family that took him in and really loved him? overrun with guilt, kaeya confessed his purpose to diluc, sparking a fight between the two brothers. in this fight, kaeya receives his cryo vision. though both brothers stepped away alive, they’ve never been able to make peace with one another. now, kaeya is the eccentric and charming cavalry captain of the knights of favonius; a man who gets his way by using any means necessary, regardless of whether or not it seems right.

kaeya’s not evil; he’s morally ambiguous, and that stems from what appears to be a general distrust of others. his life is one shrouded in secrecy. from the moment he stepped foot into mondstadt, he was surrounded by secrets. even now, he doesn’t talk about a lot of things, namely his past, vision, and feelings. though he’s always willing to get information out of others, kaeya never reveals anything about himself. he repeatedly tells the player they can confide in him, but whenever you try and pry into his life, he deflects your questions with some sort of witty comment or flirty remark. anything he does reveal is vague, or spoken in some sort of “code.” for example, his “interesting things” voiceline. he tells us about the owl of dragonspine, how it “seems to look right through you, while letting go of none of its own secrets,” and then tacks on a “quite fascinating, don’t you think?” it seems like an awfully accurate parallel to himself; kaeya does all he can to get information from others, but never gives anything about himself. now, this whole thing—his relationship with diluc falling apart and his need for secrecy—could have probably been avoided if he had just come clean about his mission years ago. so why didn’t he? to start, kaeya was a literal child. not only are children unable to properly tell the difference between right and wrong, but they’ll also typically follow their parents’ orders blindly. kaeya had just been abandoned, and he wouldn’t want to risk being cast out by mondstadt as well if he came clean right away. you see, there’s this thing about trauma, something that trauma theory states. traumatized people feel a sort of shame or guilt regarding their traumatic experience; they’ll keep quiet because they don’t want to cause problems or bother others with their issues. of course kaeya wouldn’t tell the truth about his past, he doesn’t want to destroy the genuinely loving relationships he’d built in mondstadt. his fight with diluc only proves what he was afraid of: if he’s honest, he’ll be abandoned again. and if kaeya’s used to all the lies, why should he bother changing?

another thing, if he’s not going to tell the truth, then why would he have initially gone along with his father’s plans? again, he was a child. he really had no choice, and was forced into a very wrong and cruel situation. there’s a good explanation for this, too, which is also stated in trauma theory; traumatized people will still do their best to please their abusers. especially if said abuser is a parent, that will drive traumatized people to work even harder to please them. although his father hurt him by ruthlessly abandoning him, kaeya still sought to make him and his homeland proud. he was willing to be used as a tool for their gain; that is, until he found people who actually cared about him. he was an impressionable child, of course he’s going to obey orders. but as he gets older, he feels torn. does he serve those who abandoned him, or those that took him in? his father—and arguably, khaenri’ah as a whole—hurt him, sure, but he still feels some loyalty and connection to his former home. instead of revealing anything, he lets the situation play out. that way, he can’t be blamed when things fall apart.

the thing about claiming he’s untrustworthy is that hardly anyone in-game believes that. he’s adored by the older folks in mondstadt, and foes and allies alike find him easy to talk to. despite seeming lazy and uninterested in work, kaeya takes his job very seriously. in fact, his story states that crepus’s death was the “first and only time kaeya failed in his duty.” the “only time” is especially important, because it signifies kaeya still fulfills his duties successfully. he’s had a total of one slip-up, and hasn’t failed since. no, kaeya is not untrustworthy. rather, kaeya finds everyone else untrustworthy. it’s not unlikely that this is a direct consequence of being abandoned as a child. although it’s been established that kaeya and diluc were very close as children, when crepus dies, kaeya assumes diluc is the one that killed him. in order to jump to such an extreme conclusion against someone he was so close to, there had to be some underlying sense of distrust. furthermore, kaeya expresses feeling as though he doesn’t belong anywhere. he was abandoned by khaenri’ah, and then worried he wouldn’t be accepted by mondstadt. he is, but there’s still that worry. if you place him in your teapot as a companion, he tells you that your home feels like someplace he belongs, following it up with a “heh, who’d have thought…” kaeya still feels as though he doesn’t belong in mondstadt; despite the fact that he’s a high-ranking knight of favonius and rather popular, he still feels like an outsider. he doesn’t trust that anyone actually wants him around, and he finds joy in testing peoples’ trustworthiness. it’s noted in his story and through his voicelines that the beloved cavalry captain has a rather sadistic nature. he likes putting people into difficult situations, to see what decisions they will make. he does this to both opponents and allies, testing to see who’s going to back out and who’ll keep fighting; in the sake of allies, who can he trust? or who will turn tail and abandon their teammates at the slightest hint of danger? i mentioned it previously, but kaeya doesn’t care what measures he has to take so long as his job gets done and he gets the answers he wants. it’s a sort of self-preserving mindset, putting himself above the safety of others. kaeya’s trying to protect himself, which makes sense with all he’s been through. he doesn’t want to be hurt, and instead finds pleasure in threatening harm upon others. it’s twisted, sure, but it’s because he can only trust himself in a world that he believes is out to get him. he’s got as many enemies—if not more—as he does allies; of course kaeya focuses on protecting himself first, whether physically or through keeping his secrets, well, secret.

his most obvious traumatic effect is definitely his alcoholism. but he uses it as a distraction, not just to wallow in self-pity. this is seen again in his story, particularly in story 3. it’s found that when his favorite drink, death after noon, is out of season, mondstadt’s crime rate is decreased drastically. at face value, this just means kaeya spends more time working when death after noon is low in supply. but kaeya doesn’t skip work to go to taverns; it’s already been established he takes his job very seriously, so this means he actually patrols and tracks down threats while off work when he can’t indulge in his favorite alcoholic drink. he doesn’t get drunk simply because he’s depressed. if he did, there wouldn’t be a drop in incidents when death after noon is out of season. no, kaeya uses both the alcohol and fighting to distract himself. after all, it’s a little hard to think about feeling sad when you’re either drunk out of your mind or fighting for your life.

despite being so secretive, kaeya gives us glimpses of his true emotions from time to time. as previously mentioned, his flirty attitude is nothing more than a mask to hide how he really feels; and kaeya is terribly, terribly lonely. that may be why he seems so extroverted. constantly being around people should, logically, drive away that feeling, but it doesn’t work like that. when he talks with the player, he frequently expresses disappointment when you have to leave. each time, though, he dampens the weight of his words with playful or flirty language. he’s lonely, but doesn’t want you to know that, like he’s afraid of asking you to stay. he takes the seriousness of his feelings, and basically bends it into some sort of lighthearted joke. kaeya hides his true feelings—negative feelings, to be exact—so that he doesn’t bother anyone. which is, again, something that happens with traumatized people. he displays that hesitance to reveal his true feelings, because there’s a shame or guilt that comes with his past. he doesn’t want to bother others or hold them back, so he puts on a smile and amps up the charisma. one other very important thing—but very small detail—i would like to note is his feelings toward family. his fell apart not even once, but twice, and kaeya still holds familial relationships in high regard. we know he doesn’t exactly care how he goes about getting his work done. he doesn’t pay attention to what’s “right” or “wrong,” so long as he gets what he needs. but one of his informants, vile, notes that the cavalry captain has one exception: he won’t work with those who threaten others’ families. in fact, kaeya claims those who do should be hunted down and destroyed. even though his own families have caused him so much pain—and he ended up estranged from both—he still understands the importance of having people who love you in your life. because he didn’t get that.

kaeya’s not evil. ultimately, as a knight of favonius, his goal is to protect others, because no one was there to protect him. and because no one was there to protect him, because he’s been hurt time and time again by people who were supposed to love him, kaeya has taken to protecting himself. he hides any and all negative feelings with a charismatic, friendly façade, because he thinks it’ll drive away his persistent loneliness. any “bad” actions of his were hardly his fault; he was forced into a life of secrecy and lies, and then abandoned by the first people who truly loved him. kaeya’s a multi-faceted, tragic character, one that toes the line between good and evil, and that’s what makes him so interesting.

🐺 › RAZOR

with hints of being trans

requested by anonymous

anon asked:

If it’s okay, could I ask for head canons for zhongli (during his days as Rex Lapis/Morax) falling in love with another god who is his polar opposite? Like they’re smol and soft and kind? I hope this wasn’t too confusing hHHHHHH and ty! 💛💛

i went a little ham on this one because i’m just such a SIMP—

it’s in the name. 

【ｚｈｏｎｇｌｉ】

Rex Lapis falls in love with a god with an opposite personality to him

warnings ; none

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