killshot anon! YEAH i totally agree w/ your view on kaeya. it's so weird to me that people will blame him for his role in a situation he was forced into as a child through no choice of his own. that itself had to be traumatic, not to mention everything that happened later. i hate when people say he's untrustworthy - like yeah, he's lied, so has everyone? it's clear he does it mostly to protect himself. not to mention that (& sadism) can be symptoms of trauma. kaeya deserves nothing but happiness
take a seat folks it’s time for a “brynn should’ve been an english major” lesson! today we’re gonna learn some literary theory; specifically, we’re gonna apply psychoanalytical trauma theory to kaeya’s backstory and current character. killshot anon i bet you never thought this would result in a whole ass essay.
disclaimer one! you are allowed to dislike kaeya! i am not saying you need to like him or his character, you’re entitled to your opinion and i’m not here to change your mind.
disclaimer two! i am in no way an expert and this is all for fun! this is just my silly little analysis of one of my favorite characters as someone who’s studied literary theory and rhetoric and can also apply personal experience. seriously analysis is like a hobby to me and this is just an excuse for me to ramble about kaeya.
disclaimer three! this contains lots of spoilers! basically for everything we know in-game, general knowledge as well as stuff from his voicelines and character story. don’t read this if you don’t want spoilers.
since this is going to be filled with spoilers and is about to get really long, everything will be under a cut. for those who wanna read my dumb super informal essay: enjoy!
final note: yeah this is over 2000 words long can you tell i like analysis
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let’s start by getting a quick rundown of trauma theory out of the way. to begin, what is “trauma?” in this case, trauma is going to refer to an experience that greatly affects and changes one’s life; attitudes, memories, behaviors, mental state, etc. while not all changes may be bad, per se, the overall effect of trauma is generally a negative one, which is why it’s so significant. literary trauma theory, then, explores these changes and the impact of trauma in literature. it analyzes the psychological and social effects of trauma, explaining what those effects are and why they happen. in the context of a specific character, trauma theory breaks down said character’s behaviors, feelings, and general mentality in relation to their past experiences; trauma theory hopes to explain to others the reasons for why a character may act or feel the way they do, all based upon the character’s experiences, particularly traumatic ones. our character today is the lovely kaeya alberich, with the “literature” being genshin impact. i’ll be referencing kaeya’s wiki page to ensure i get all details correct for his character story and voicelines.
it would be good to review kaeya’s backstory before delving into the actual analysis. though we don’t know much about his life before living in mondstadt, we’re told he was sent as an agent of khaenri’ah. and by “sent,” i mean his biological father abandoned him in a completely unfamiliar land to serve khaenri’ah’s interests and fullfil his mission—what this entirely entails hasn’t been revealed. mondstadt, however, welcomed kaeya “with open arms when they found him.” crepus ragnvindr took him in as his adopted son, with diluc as his adopted brother. kaeya and diluc were “almost like twins,” so close they “[knew] each other’s thoughts and intentions without a word.” he’d began a new life in mondstadt, one surrounded by friends and family that loved him; one that was completely shattered by crepus’s death. kaeya arrived at the scene of the disaster, and was led to believe diluc was the one who killed their father to “set his father free” from the effects of his delusion. there’d always been one big question in kaeya’s life: if it came down to it, who would he support? the nation that abandoned him, but he still felt loyal to, or the nation and family that took him in and really loved him? overrun with guilt, kaeya confessed his purpose to diluc, sparking a fight between the two brothers. in this fight, kaeya receives his cryo vision. though both brothers stepped away alive, they’ve never been able to make peace with one another. now, kaeya is the eccentric and charming cavalry captain of the knights of favonius; a man who gets his way by using any means necessary, regardless of whether or not it seems right.
kaeya’s not evil; he’s morally ambiguous, and that stems from what appears to be a general distrust of others. his life is one shrouded in secrecy. from the moment he stepped foot into mondstadt, he was surrounded by secrets. even now, he doesn’t talk about a lot of things, namely his past, vision, and feelings. though he’s always willing to get information out of others, kaeya never reveals anything about himself. he repeatedly tells the player they can confide in him, but whenever you try and pry into his life, he deflects your questions with some sort of witty comment or flirty remark. anything he does reveal is vague, or spoken in some sort of “code.” for example, his “interesting things” voiceline. he tells us about the owl of dragonspine, how it “seems to look right through you, while letting go of none of its own secrets,” and then tacks on a “quite fascinating, don’t you think?” it seems like an awfully accurate parallel to himself; kaeya does all he can to get information from others, but never gives anything about himself. now, this whole thing—his relationship with diluc falling apart and his need for secrecy—could have probably been avoided if he had just come clean about his mission years ago. so why didn’t he? to start, kaeya was a literal child. not only are children unable to properly tell the difference between right and wrong, but they’ll also typically follow their parents’ orders blindly. kaeya had just been abandoned, and he wouldn’t want to risk being cast out by mondstadt as well if he came clean right away. you see, there’s this thing about trauma, something that trauma theory states. traumatized people feel a sort of shame or guilt regarding their traumatic experience; they’ll keep quiet because they don’t want to cause problems or bother others with their issues. of course kaeya wouldn’t tell the truth about his past, he doesn’t want to destroy the genuinely loving relationships he’d built in mondstadt. his fight with diluc only proves what he was afraid of: if he’s honest, he’ll be abandoned again. and if kaeya’s used to all the lies, why should he bother changing?
another thing, if he’s not going to tell the truth, then why would he have initially gone along with his father’s plans? again, he was a child. he really had no choice, and was forced into a very wrong and cruel situation. there’s a good explanation for this, too, which is also stated in trauma theory; traumatized people will still do their best to please their abusers. especially if said abuser is a parent, that will drive traumatized people to work even harder to please them. although his father hurt him by ruthlessly abandoning him, kaeya still sought to make him and his homeland proud. he was willing to be used as a tool for their gain; that is, until he found people who actually cared about him. he was an impressionable child, of course he’s going to obey orders. but as he gets older, he feels torn. does he serve those who abandoned him, or those that took him in? his father—and arguably, khaenri’ah as a whole—hurt him, sure, but he still feels some loyalty and connection to his former home. instead of revealing anything, he lets the situation play out. that way, he can’t be blamed when things fall apart.
the thing about claiming he’s untrustworthy is that hardly anyone in-game believes that. he’s adored by the older folks in mondstadt, and foes and allies alike find him easy to talk to. despite seeming lazy and uninterested in work, kaeya takes his job very seriously. in fact, his story states that crepus’s death was the “first and only time kaeya failed in his duty.” the “only time” is especially important, because it signifies kaeya still fulfills his duties successfully. he’s had a total of one slip-up, and hasn’t failed since. no, kaeya is not untrustworthy. rather, kaeya finds everyone else untrustworthy. it’s not unlikely that this is a direct consequence of being abandoned as a child. although it’s been established that kaeya and diluc were very close as children, when crepus dies, kaeya assumes diluc is the one that killed him. in order to jump to such an extreme conclusion against someone he was so close to, there had to be some underlying sense of distrust. furthermore, kaeya expresses feeling as though he doesn’t belong anywhere. he was abandoned by khaenri’ah, and then worried he wouldn’t be accepted by mondstadt. he is, but there’s still that worry. if you place him in your teapot as a companion, he tells you that your home feels like someplace he belongs, following it up with a “heh, who’d have thought…” kaeya still feels as though he doesn’t belong in mondstadt; despite the fact that he’s a high-ranking knight of favonius and rather popular, he still feels like an outsider. he doesn’t trust that anyone actually wants him around, and he finds joy in testing peoples’ trustworthiness. it’s noted in his story and through his voicelines that the beloved cavalry captain has a rather sadistic nature. he likes putting people into difficult situations, to see what decisions they will make. he does this to both opponents and allies, testing to see who’s going to back out and who’ll keep fighting; in the sake of allies, who can he trust? or who will turn tail and abandon their teammates at the slightest hint of danger? i mentioned it previously, but kaeya doesn’t care what measures he has to take so long as his job gets done and he gets the answers he wants. it’s a sort of self-preserving mindset, putting himself above the safety of others. kaeya’s trying to protect himself, which makes sense with all he’s been through. he doesn’t want to be hurt, and instead finds pleasure in threatening harm upon others. it’s twisted, sure, but it’s because he can only trust himself in a world that he believes is out to get him. he’s got as many enemies—if not more—as he does allies; of course kaeya focuses on protecting himself first, whether physically or through keeping his secrets, well, secret.
his most obvious traumatic effect is definitely his alcoholism. but he uses it as a distraction, not just to wallow in self-pity. this is seen again in his story, particularly in story 3. it’s found that when his favorite drink, death after noon, is out of season, mondstadt’s crime rate is decreased drastically. at face value, this just means kaeya spends more time working when death after noon is low in supply. but kaeya doesn’t skip work to go to taverns; it’s already been established he takes his job very seriously, so this means he actually patrols and tracks down threats while off work when he can’t indulge in his favorite alcoholic drink. he doesn’t get drunk simply because he’s depressed. if he did, there wouldn’t be a drop in incidents when death after noon is out of season. no, kaeya uses both the alcohol and fighting to distract himself. after all, it’s a little hard to think about feeling sad when you’re either drunk out of your mind or fighting for your life.
despite being so secretive, kaeya gives us glimpses of his true emotions from time to time. as previously mentioned, his flirty attitude is nothing more than a mask to hide how he really feels; and kaeya is terribly, terribly lonely. that may be why he seems so extroverted. constantly being around people should, logically, drive away that feeling, but it doesn’t work like that. when he talks with the player, he frequently expresses disappointment when you have to leave. each time, though, he dampens the weight of his words with playful or flirty language. he’s lonely, but doesn’t want you to know that, like he’s afraid of asking you to stay. he takes the seriousness of his feelings, and basically bends it into some sort of lighthearted joke. kaeya hides his true feelings—negative feelings, to be exact—so that he doesn’t bother anyone. which is, again, something that happens with traumatized people. he displays that hesitance to reveal his true feelings, because there’s a shame or guilt that comes with his past. he doesn’t want to bother others or hold them back, so he puts on a smile and amps up the charisma. one other very important thing—but very small detail—i would like to note is his feelings toward family. his fell apart not even once, but twice, and kaeya still holds familial relationships in high regard. we know he doesn’t exactly care how he goes about getting his work done. he doesn’t pay attention to what’s “right” or “wrong,” so long as he gets what he needs. but one of his informants, vile, notes that the cavalry captain has one exception: he won’t work with those who threaten others’ families. in fact, kaeya claims those who do should be hunted down and destroyed. even though his own families have caused him so much pain—and he ended up estranged from both—he still understands the importance of having people who love you in your life. because he didn’t get that.
kaeya’s not evil. ultimately, as a knight of favonius, his goal is to protect others, because no one was there to protect him. and because no one was there to protect him, because he’s been hurt time and time again by people who were supposed to love him, kaeya has taken to protecting himself. he hides any and all negative feelings with a charismatic, friendly façade, because he thinks it’ll drive away his persistent loneliness. any “bad” actions of his were hardly his fault; he was forced into a life of secrecy and lies, and then abandoned by the first people who truly loved him. kaeya’s a multi-faceted, tragic character, one that toes the line between good and evil, and that’s what makes him so interesting.
pairing: diluc x reader, reader is gender neutral (but has hair long enough to be tied up)
a/n: i have no idea where this came from but it’s here now so. enjoy? pls lmk if you like it! i’ll edit this later on i just need this brainworm OUT. uhhh they might be a lil ooc and diluc blushes a lot (but he can’t help it he’s pasty) and i apologize for the god awful title i’ll do better when i can think okay
word count: 1.2k
warnings: none! it’s just fluff (they all might be a lil ooc though)
summary: kaeya tries to figure out why his brother is suddenly wearing his hair down, despite his obvious aversion to it. alternatively: diluc is down bad.
Keep reading
oh god, can you make my heart stop?
hit me with your kill shot, baby.
i mean it, so serious.
- killshot, magdalena bay
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this one’s for you killshot anon (blows you a kiss) thanks for the brainrot i haven’t been able to stop thinking about enemies to lovers childe for DAYS
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pairing: childe/reader
characters: childe
genre: fluff?? idk what to classify this as
word count: 599
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The sound of your weapon clattering to the ground is an all-too-familiar one. Getting tossed to the ground has you gasping, the impact knocking the breath out of you.
“I win.” His goading voice reaches your ringing ears. “Again.”
You’re not sure how many times this is now, but you expect what happens next; Childe’s towering figure casting your own crumpled one into shadow. Every time, you get better. Every time, you think you’ll finally win.
Yet, every time, the bastard manages to beat you, that damned smirk never leaving his stupid, stupid face.
He prowls ever closer, and you can feel the thumping of his boots through the floor.
Keep reading
transmasc/afab reader, unsafe binding
“you can’t keep doing this,” kaeya said sternly, though you could tell he was just worried.
“i know.”
your voice was quiet and you wouldn’t meet his eyes. it made his heart clench — he wasn’t mad at you, more so at the way you treat yourself. can’t you see that he cares about you? can’t you see how worried he gets when he hears you take such short breaths, how much his heart drops when he sees those lines on your skin that tell him your ribs ache?
“promise me.” he said, tossing aside the offending fabric. you didn’t answer, and he put his index under your chin to make you look at him. “promise me, please?”
when you finally looked at him, his eyes were softer than the last time you looked at him. he’d looked so scared before, so worried, so frustrated. you’d assumed it was frustration towards you. in reality he was frustrated with himself for not noticing sooner.
his hands found the bottom of your shirt. “can i?”
you nodded and attempted to fix your posture, letting him dip his hands under your shirt. his fingers lightly ran over your sides. as he did so, he watched your face and stopped whenever he saw you wince.
“i promise.”
can i have some super fluffy sdc dio headcanons? i hope i'm not bothering you!!
You definitely are not bothering!!
Dio acts all high and mighty, but he is very soft for you. Less so if there are others present, but in private, he is very affectionate
He hasn't really known love since his mom died. Since then, no one ever loved him and he loved no one. That is, untill he met you
You immediately caught his attention, he wanted to see more of you. So, he offered you to come work for him. How could you refuse?
It was clear he was favouring you over everyone else, you could get away with things that no one else could. Soon his interest grew into something more
The moment he realized he might have feelings for you, he set out to make you his. He wouldn't admit it was anything more than fascination, though. Of course, he, Dio, doesn't fall in love. You're simply a play thing to amuse him for a while. He's good at lying. To others, but also to himself. He is head over heels.
Over time, once you've been together for a while, he will start admitting to himself that you're important to him. He doesn't like it. It's a weakness, but he can't help it
He learns that he likes being in love. He likes loving someone and being loved in return, in a way other than worship
Dio is surprisingly cuddly, but he tries to hide it by acting like he's only doing you a favour. In reality, there's nothing he'd rather do than spend the day with you in his arms
He loves to spoil you. You want something? No matter how rare or expensive it is, you say the word and you have it. You'll never want for anything as long as you're with him
But it's not only material things, if you want to simply spend the day—or night—with him, he'll happily indulge you. You want to have a movie marathon together? Oh well, he could do with some more mordern knowledge
Dio is very observant. If you casually mention in a conversation that you miss a food from your home country, a few days later he surprises you with it. He often does little things like this for you. It shows he cares
You're one of the only people who he has ever told about his past. He trusts you. It comes easy to him to talk to you
Sometimes he takes you on seemingly impromptu dates, which he actually planned out days beforehand, but he won't tell you that. One of the more romantic ones was a picnic at night on a rooftop on a clear night. Having conversation and watching the beautiful night sky while enjoying the food and each others company
After a few years, he's gonna ask you to turn into a vampire. He can't imagine his life without you. The choice is yours, but he begs whatever gods are out there you'll agree
Rex Lapis dull
I want him
character x gender neutral reader, fluff/sfw
additional notes: i’m pretty tall myself (please i practically tower over everybody in-game besides diluc, kaeya, zhongli and childe) so this request was a big yes for me!! requested by a lovely anon. thank you for requesting ♡ i feel like these are too short but i hope you like these hcs!
albedo doesn’t even bat an eye at your obvious height difference
height or any physical feature doesn’t matter to him in a relationship, he’s more interested in personality and compatability in terms of hobbies
try your best to tease him and poke fun at his height but he’ll just offer you a deadpan expression
has no shame and will bluntly ask for your help. unfortunately, you’re his new step ladder and you are obliged to help him at any time, whether you are in the middle of an important task or if it’s dawn and you wish to sleep
will appear randomly and drag you to his workshop, ignoring your protests
“ah, there you are. i need you to help me reach the jar of sweet flowers.”
secretly loves it when you backhug him! it makes him melt into your arms and if you’re lucky, you might see the tips of his ears turn pink. he can’t help but feel all warm and fuzzy in the security of your embrace, especially since you’re tall enough to perfectly rest your head on his
if you’re walking up a flight of stairs together, albedo will stop abruptly on a higher step and steal a kiss.
he’ll smirk smugly, his mischievous side showing through, while watching your jaw drop, face turning progressively redder when he leans in to kiss you again
naturally curious, and probably has some strange experiment involving your height, pestering you with question after question, speaking so quickly that you have to remind him to breathe
when you walk together, you tend to speed up, and albedo will sometimes struggle to keep up. he’ll tug on your hand, his way of asking you to slow down, and no words need to be exchanged for you to understand immediately
Keep reading
Fischl, setting down a card: Ace of spades.
Razor, pulling out an Uno card: +4.
Bennett, pulling out a Pokemon card: Joleton, I choose you!
Oz, trembling: What're they playing...?
zhongli has a moss bed for his pet rocks ...
Amazing, also consider: he has a moss bed but like in the fanciest jewelry box you have ever seen (that he absolutely didn't purchase himself) and he puts them to sleep every night too :)
His definition of keeping pet rocks might be synonymous with like, collecting gems. So everybody mistakes them for jewelry but you open it up and there lies a pebble tucked gently in its moss bed. Zhongli claims it has magical properties that defines it as living and that's why he keeps it. People thought he was insane but since he is the rock expert or whatever they eventually believed him and some plotted to steal it. Obviously that didn't work out and you know what happens when one crosses the (ex-) Geo Archon.
“why do you like this character you do know that if they existed they’d just try to kill you right” actually no they’d fall madly in love with me
21 ✦ not sfw ✦ minors dnf this is the account where i reblog posts about fictional characters and go feral in the tags he/him ✦ it/its ✦ fang/fangs ---------------------------------------- stuff you'll find here: ✦ fanfic (that's the whole point of this account lmao), art, shitposts, brainrot ✦ obey me! & jjba (currently. this changes as my adhd drags me from one hyperfixation to another on my little leash)
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