Ugh Literally. Like As A Writer And Aspiring Author Myself (it’s My Hope To Get A Novella Self Published

(This was in response to me saying that it’s odd that Chappell says she’s a lesbian while also thirsting after men even within the past couple months, and saying I believe she’s likely bi and febfem)

But I am so TIRED of the “sexuality is fluid” bs. If your sexuality is fluid you are not monosexual!!! You’re bi/pan/“queer”/whatever else you want to use to refer to your status as a polysexual person, which is COMPLETELY fine. But it’s not homosexual. It’s not lesbian. These types of people are only adding fuel to the, “You haven’t tried the right dick yet” fire. Lesbians are not attracted to men, at all. Not only 30%, or 10% or even 1%. We are not attracted to men and we did not have to fight this fight for decades only for people to repackage it in a “woke” way. I’m so tired of how much the supposed left spews the patriarchy wrapped up in a pretty bow and claims it’s true leftism and I’m the backwards one.

I don’t think it’s too much to ask people to use proper words for themselves. I don’t want Chappell or anyone to conform to labels that don’t fit them, I want them to stop claiming labels that don’t fit and forcing the definition of that label to change, and instead choosing the ones that are literally right there and fit perfectly. Being bisexual is amazing and beautiful and I love my bisexual baddies, but being in denial of your bisexuality and claiming lesbianism just leads to messiness.

I actually do plan to take either wrestling or boxing soon, I’m just recovering from being underweight (and having a disability that effects the strength of my joints 😭) so I need to gain a bit more weight and get better in the gym first. I’m sorry you’re struggling too though, all my support to you 🖤

Gyns do you have any suggestions for stuff to help work through anger? I recently had a close female friend that I thought supported me suddenly turn around and spew a ton of alt right propaganda. Apparently she’s gone down a tradwife pipeline and now believes that women having rights is apparently the root of all problems in the world, and she told me (a lesbian who she also knows has experienced multiple counts of sexual assault) that she believes that all women must find a man to submit to sexually.

And while I’m grateful for the fact I can now feel anger instead of shame, I’ve gone a long way in healing, I’d also like to be able to step away from it because I’m legitimately losing sleep over it and it’s dredged up a lot of flashbacks. I’m not trying to fish for sympathy, I just want to know if y’all have any suggestions for me.

everything beautiful in this world is vagina shaped… orchids and lillies and oysters and strawberries and figs and kiwis and vaginas <3 <3 <3

“feminists should be nicer to men or else more of them will join the alt right” that’s strange because it’s never occurred to me to fuck off and join the kkk when a person of color is mean to me. I think if your threshold for being radicalized into a hate movement is as low as “I felt left out and it was mean” you weren’t going to make a very good feminist to begin with

Any other eco radfems out here?

Environmentalism and Feminism are two of the most important movements to me, especially since I find them both very closely tied together. The treatment of the planet and the treatment of women by the patriarchy are one and the same and we’re seeing the rot that comes of that destructive exploitation now more than ever. The male obsession with exploitation and abuse of such deep beauty and power will never not sicken me.

I also feel such a connection between womanhood and the earth. She’s the one entity who is almost always female, and I’ve always loved that so much ever since I was a young catholic girl wishing I could worship Gaea instead of the detached male god up in the sky who didn’t really seem to represent anything other than passive judgment and condemnation. The earth is real and beautiful and offers life and creation and that’s just such a womanly thing to me.

And I don’t mean that in a pseudo conservative “Women’s highest good is giving birth” way, but about all forms of female creativity. Female creatives are an endless source of wonder and inspiration to me. Women now dominate fiction writing, for instance, and in my (completely unbiased lol) opinion, they write much better books than men. I rarely find a book by a man that I feel is genuinely a good book.

I know I’m a lot more “woo woo” than most of my mutuals on here lol, but womanhood, not femininity, is something I love and revere very deeply and in a spiritual way. The reality of women and what we do is enough for me to find them basically angelic. I don’t need some farce of performative, perfect, clean girl femininity when my god is covered in the residue of her creation, whether it’s soil or paint or ink stains, or even the invisible ideas in her head and how they affect what she talks about.

This is a bit of a ramble but I’m feeling like a lot less of an angry dyke than usual lol and god I just love women. Or maybe I’m just very lesbian.

And she was so kind about it too! I saw her original announcement on her story and she was so polite and kind in how she explained why she’d chosen to make it a single-sex space. And all she’s gotten is some absolutely nasty responses.

It doesn’t matter how kind we are, how much we obediently, tearfully explain how our bodies have been violated a thousand times over, how much we debase ourselves and “check our privilege!” and educate ourselves and “listen to other people’s experiences!” they will still display a disturbing level of hatred and threatening language. I follow some trans creators because I try to keep an open mind, but I had to unfollow one (TIF) because he made a video saying that he’s going to show up and frighten everyone there with his appearance and behavior because, “I’m biologically female and you said you wanted me here!”

I get it. Being excluded can hurt sometimes. But that doesn’t mean you’re entitled to spaces, or to people’s bodies, to soothe that hurt. No, this is not the same as racial segregation. This is a singular, private space in which women, a group of people who suffer immensely, are wanting to gather to support each other and have s respite from a male dominated world. Give me a fucking break. I’m tired of trans rhetoric co-opting racism as their defense and I’ve been told by a lot of women of color that it’s frustrating to them too, and considering the fact that the lovely owner of this gym is a woman of color I can only imagine how invalidating and frustrating this all is to her.

womyn, please, show some love and support to natalee barrett. she’s a black woman who created a gym for women only and after deciding to exclude trans women (for obvious reasons), she has been unfollowed and insulted by trans activists. in the first link below, @/prowomyn on instagram explain the whole situation. the second one is her instagram profile.

1. https://www.instagram.com/reel/DHHSxBoPxtLMhBcajpaVB2alVCBV4jvPQtIlH80/?igsh=OHp1djl0dTB2MW9z

2. https://www.instagram.com/nataleebarnett_?igsh=MTJzdHlxZGg5bDQ2NQ==

Idk if this is going to be an unpopular opinion (probably would be in Insta or TikTok but I feel like ppl are a bit more reasonable here), but while goth/punk/grunge/etc are PRIMARILY music and political based subcultures, there is still a fashion element. Fashion is political in today’s world, due to the nature of capitalism and it’s social effects, and the primary hallmark of the fashion side of these subcultures (in their origins) was the DIY clothes that served multiple purposes: reducing your capitalistic footprint, your environmental footprint, and defying social norms of physical presentation. Same thing with makeup, which is weaponized off of women’s insecurities. I respect your right to do whatever you want with yourself but if it happens to be following the exact trends and beauty standards of your current time, it’s not counter-culture.

You can be goth/punk/grunge and dress “normal” because it is primarily musical and political. BUT, you cannot be goth/punk/grunge and wear Shein, Temu, buy into all the latest trends and participate in fast fashion, etc, because that is against the ethics of the subculture. Similarly, we need to stop watering down the look to the point of incomprehension and normalcy and calling it after an alternative counter-cultural group. And I understand being poor, I’ve been low-income for a while now. I thrift what I can but if I really, actually need (not want!) a new pair of jeans and I can’t find one that fits anywhere else, I will go to Walmart and buy a pair from the clearance section. However I then wear and repair that pair of pants until it’s literally tearing apart, and then repurpose the fabric I can salvage into new projects when I can no longer wear it.

“It’s the most punk thing to not care what anyone thinks!!” No it’s not actually. Punk has been defined by it’s almost obsession with politics, ethics, radical empathy with the oppressed, and fighting for change. Ignoring those calling you out on your privilege and your contributions to the capitalistic machine isn’t Punk. And I say all this as someone who’s parents were part of the original alternative scenes back in the 70s-90s, and who’s talked to a lot of people who were in it at the time of its creation.

I’m not sure if I’m intersex (lack funds for medical testing at this time) but I have a similar problem as is outlined here that I only discovered as an adult, and it was IMMEDIATELY turned into a problem surrounding men. My health or comfort? Painful periods? Hypothetical medical complications later in life? My OWN personal comfort during sex? They acted like I was stupid to even ask.

All I’ve been given so far is be told to use those stupid plastic dilators so I can be forced open enough to be fucked by a man. Doesn’t matter how much it hurt me, or felt unnatural, or if that was even my goal in asking for medical advice (fun fact, it wasn’t. I was trying to get help for my own personal bodily comfort outside of sex). I’m incredibly thankful that soon after that nonsense I was able to unlearn comphet and realize I was a lesbian and leave all that male-centric crap and plastic phalluses behind. It was traumatic enough for me as an adult and I cannot fucking stand the idea of people doing that shit to children. Absolutely disgusting behavior.

“Female-assigned intersex kids’ vaginal canal size is also assessed by doctors, to ensure that it’s long enough to fit a penis inside of it. Doctors might surgically construct or re-construct vaginas, which can result in a host of health problems and necessitate multiple, multiple surgeries. This is especially the case since most intersex kids have these surgeries very young, and when their bodies grow into their adult forms, more surgeries are necessary to keep their vagina size in proportion. Non-surgical methods are also used to increase or maintain vaginal length by regularly using medical dildos to stretch the vagina over months and years. (It’s kind of like braces for your vagina, but much, much worse.) Just like there are no standards for how long a clitoris “can” be before it’s classified as a penis, there aren’t absolute standards as to how long a vagina is for it to be of “normal” length. I had a dilation procedure performed for almost every exam I had with intersex doctors from the time I was 8 until I was 16, so that they could check how long my vagina was as I grew. I absolutely hated these procedures. I mean, imagine a man as old as your father or your grandfather, who you don’t know, inserting a medical dildo into you each time you saw him, knowing that you can’t question the doctor’s orders and just accept that you have to undergo these uncomfortable procedures for your health. Imagine a decade or so later, realizing that these procedures did nothing to track your health, and had everything to do with grown men feeling good about the fact that you could fuck some dude someday like a “normal girl”. That all those traumatizing procedures weren’t actually medically relevant at all, and it actually was within my right to refuse those examinations. I didn’t know any of that at the time. I also had no idea that I wouldn’t want to ultimately have the kind of sex they assumed I’d be having, adding yet another layer of this-was-totally-unnecessary/messed-up to my history. Other kids shouldn’t have to go through this. Other adults shouldn’t have revelations some day far into the future that what was happening to them WASN’T okay, and their traumatic feelings ARE valid, and the whole system of how intersex people are conceptualized and “treated” IS entirely fucked. And it’s gotta change. We’ve gotta change it.”

—

—-Claudia at Autostraddle

I just read this article and was reminded once again how invisible the intersex community often is… we need to signal boost this shit to let people know that this kind of “medical treatment” is NOT okay.

(via bossybussy)

Felt straight-up ill reading this. This is the institutionalized rape of children. It’s beyond unconscionable that procedures like this are normalized and considered “treatment”.

(via thaxted)

jfc

(via stammsternenstaub)

Revolting and repugnant.

See why intersex folk don’t like their medical issues being used as a rhetorical gotcha?

(via appropriately-inappropriate)

20, Butch Lesbian, Feminist/Radical Feminist.

I base my opinions off of facts and my own lived experiences, but I do try and balance with empathy for an individual’s lived experience.

Gender critical= I don’t believe in gendered behavior, either that you must do certain things that correspond with your biological sex, or that doing certain things means that you are a certain gender

Gender critical =/= I think that women are weak, should be forced into childbearing, or that GNC people should go die in a hole after being unloved their entire lives. That’s actually the complete opposite of being GC.

I am heavily critical of a lot of things but I don’t stand for harassing individuals under those groups simply for their existence. That includes religion, political ideology, or how they choose to identify themselves. However if you are, with words or actions, expressing a harmful idea, I will disagree with you, or ignore you if it’s too stupid and I don’t have the energy for it.

I do not misgender, deadname, or otherwise directly disrespect individuals identities to prove a point, I find that stupid and cruel.

Might be surprising but I do spend time outside of the house doing community work and I’d suggest you do the same.

Also I’m always up for a chat if we’re mutuals or if you’ve got any (respectful) questions for me.

Omg this is it, this is who I want to be all summed up lol

butch as in, “here let me get that for you.”

butch as in, I help all my friends move.

butch as in, “of course I’ll be the DD.”

butch as in, I walk on the outside of the sidewalk.

butch as in, “thank you, baby.”

butch as in, I’m the advice friend.

butch as in, “do you need help?”

butch as in, I’m active in my community.

butch as in, “say that again, I dare you.”

butch as in, I’m a jack of all trades.

butch as in, “will you stay?”

butch as in, a shoulder to lean on.

butch as in, “I can fix that.”

butch as in, I’ll pump your gas and check your oil.

butch as in, “I’d love to make you dinner.”

inspired by @femmefruit :)