Cw : Mention Of Death/s*icidal Ideation; Original Content, Based On Prompt Idea By @writingprompts365

WHEN IS IT GOJHN YO GET BETTER?! WHEN THE FUCK WILL IT GET BETTER

I can't handle this oh my gosh so much pain, I can't fucking handle this it hurts so so so so much I feel like I want to I want to die eventhough I'm not suicidal

Pleasepleaseplessepleasepleaee oh gosh it hurts so much fuck fu kfu K fuck

Ace/aro books coming out this year that I’m looking forward to!

Is Love the Answer by Uta Isaki - stand-alone manga about a college girl who discovers she is aroace. The same mangaka also did ‘Mine-kun is Asexual’ a couple of years ago which I liked, though it was much shorter, so I’m happy to see a full length release from them. This came out just last week, so I’m super excited to read it when it gets here!

I want to be a wall (Vol.2) by Honami Shirono - manga series - releasing 17th Jan. I already posted about how much I enjoyed Vol 1 of this series, but for recap it’s about an aroace woman and her lavender marriage to a gay man who is unrequitedly in love with his best friend. I’m really excited to see how their non-conventional relationship plays out :) it’s very slice of life and cozy!

I am Ace by Cody Daigle-Orians aka Ace Dad Advice - releasing 21 Feb 2023. I’m glad to see a book about a sexuality actually written for an ace audience, because I feel like a lot of aspec books/articles are aimed at raising awareness with allos. I’m excited to see how this one goes!

Sounds Fake But Okay: An Asexual and Aromantic Perspective on Love, Relationships, Sex, and Pretty Much Anything Else - by Kayla Kaszyca and Sarah Costello - releasing 21 Feb 2023. I’ve listened to their podcast a bit over the years and I’m curious to see what they come up with in this book!

If you want to see a fuller list of all the ace and aro books coming out this year, check out this list HERE!

What I find immensely disappointing and hypocritical is the stubborn refusal by cishet people to understand queer identities and feelings. They claim their reason for non-belief is ignorance, but have they ever tried to come out of their 'ignorance is bliss' bubble?

Cishet people are quick to reject any literature or media which involves - or talks about the the lives and experiences of - queer people; they say that they're unable to relate, hence it would simply bore them or go over their heads.

How is it possible to understand people if you're not ready to see their point of view? How is it possible to understand people if you're not ready to listen to what they have to say? You say you don't want to read a book about a non-binary character, not fair, but we'll assume it is as to not offend your little cishet feelings. But when somebody tries to tell you that non-binary identities are valid and that sex≠gender or that a person's feelings matter more than what YOU perceive or assume their gender to be based on their genitilia/chromosomes/sex organs, you immediately reject even the possibility of their existence by claiming that you haven't heard about anybody like that/ you just don't get it/ it's hard to understand when you haven't gone through it.

Books and media don't just provide knowledge, they show you perspectives you've never imagined before, they talk about the lives of different people, they help you empathize, they help you understand different cultures, genders, sexualities, feelings- and claiming to "not getting it" is fucking bullshit when you refuse to even acknowledge these resources which would let you gain knowledge and understanding.

I recently saw a person comment how a certain sexuality wasn't valid and that it was "common sense", to which another person replied, telling them to read a certain book wherein a person talks about their experienced. The former mockingly said that they didn't have time to waste reading about matters which were bullshit in the first place and stuck by their argument - refusing to listen to a person who both, who was experiencing it themselves and had read a book about the same. What the actual fuck?

How does this even remotely make sense? You are rejecting a person's identity - a totally valid identity by the way - while not knowing a goddamn thing about it, assuming you didn't have to because it's just "common fucking sense"?

Common sense is not common anymore. And I don't mean it in the "you're stupid, shut up" way - I mean it in the "common sense in this context, is an illusion created by the cisheteronormative culture we live in to reject and shame any sexuality or gender which does not fall under 'heterosexual' or '(cis) male and female' categories. Moreover, it is a form of gatekeeping where asslicker queer people refuse to acknowledge any sexuality other than gay, lesbian or bisexual and any gender other the binary genders.'

So no, your ignorance isn't "common sense", it's erasure and prejudice and your refusal to learn and unlearn concepts means you're blatantly rejecting the truth about the world, you're ignoring the world for what it actually is - fluid and ever evolving.

little thing i trained myself to practice-

whenever i share something that puts me in a vulnerable position, or something that's special to me; or i stand up for somebody else; or if I send something eg. a message or rant expresses myself and my opinions; and i don't get the desired response; or read a book that isn't "intellectual" enough and overthink if I've wasted that time like my family always claims; or anything that might arouse feelings of regret based on external parties, i ask myself *who did I do that for*/*who am I doing this for*. because what it comes down to it is that I'm doing all that for me. I'm being vulnerable with another person because I feel connected to them and i want to share this part with them; i stand up for people because that's my principle, one of my core values, and I'm being true to myself. I tell my loved what my boundaries are because it's my responsibility to set them for myself. It always comes down to me. And that gives me a sense of power, of autonomy, of self-respect. And my self-destructive, regretful thoughts don't send me down into a spiral and i can manage my bpd symptoms better.

difference between shipping and queerbaiting, you ask?

Drarry = Shipping

Sterek = Queerbaiting

cishets™ : why do you have to make everything gay

me : we don't make everything gay, y'all made everything straight when you decided to close your eyes to how queer history actually was, and enforce heteronormativity and cissexism to such an extent that pointing out how un-cishet things actually were seems to you as if we're making everything gay, when in fact things were always already pretty much gay and you were just too bigoted to see it

suicide rates are going up in educational institutions. an increasing number of kids are using drugs. and the problems seem to be "rebellious teenagers", "weak minded students", "unable to engage in healthy competition", "spoilt", "no cultural values"; when ACTUALLY these are reactions to a pervasive problem much larger than this: capitalist culture. students can't cope with competitiveness because it's no longer competitiveness - it's threat, it's fear. why can kids relatively handle losses in sports and art/writing competitions? why is the issue largely with academic competition? ever thought that it's not the kids who're problematic, but the academic system? we live in a culture which is misleadingly called "survival of the fittest". which is nonsensical because in the so-called "real world"? people do help. in workplaces, in higher education institutions. but students are isolated and made to view people as opponents instead of a support system. instead of encouraging cooperation and support in classrooms. suicide is not solely a mental health issue, it's a systemic+social issue; and making it an individual issue would mean giving institutions a free pass.

kids are turning to drugs because society is putting pressure on them, the demands and expectations made of them exceed coping capacity. because society doesn't forgive people who fail; the system works to keep people who're low down on the bottom instead of helping them get back up. in an experiment called the 'rat park', researchers found that rats who were placed in a cage all alone (no company/pleasurable activities etcetc) with two bottles - one full of water and the other heroine/cocaine, would drink from the bottle laced with the drug; but when they placed the rat in a "rat park'", with other rats whom it could play/mate/socialize with, they opted for the bottle of water.

with COVID came a variety of issues - unemployment, relationship issues (all sorts of relationships), loneliness, and so on. along with this are identity issues, academic pressure, social issues that certain kids face (poverty, casteism, misogyny, queerphobia), and lack of proper support/inclusiveness for neurodivergent kids, and also students who've undergone trauma.

we need to change the way we look at kids who use drugs. we need to stop criminalizing kids who use drugs. we need to change the way we look at suicide. we need to stop with absolute bullshit "spring fan" and removing the ceiling fan altogether alternatives, and instead acknowledge the ACTUAL PROBLEM.

you know what I've gradually come to realize? you don't have to be good at things to do them. you don't have to be good at studying to want to learn; you don't have to be good at remembering to want to read; you don't have to be good at dancing to dance (and have solo dance parties in the middle of the night); you don't have to be good at singing to sing (and serenade your best friends while drunk); you don't have to be good at following the rules of a language to write; you don't have to be good at art to create art (or paint in children's coloring books); you don't have to be good at relationships to love; you don't have to good at staying updated on the appropriate terms to use to care about humans and social justice; and you don't have to be good at being a person to live.

Tw suicide

How do you tell your family that the reason you can't think from their perspective that you're hurting family or that you're wrong is because you can't balance in the middle ground between - "you're wrong you just don't understand me why can't you try and understand me" and "I'm wrong I just should kms everyone would be better off if I just kms". There is literally no middle ground, I'll either tip onto on side or the other WHY DONT YOU GET IT

I have achieved the trifecta of unhealthy coping mechanisms - binge drinking, binge eating and self harm 🫠

how I practice - chewing gum when I feel like binge eating; eating when I feel like drinking; drinking when i feel like self harming; self harming when I feel like dying

alternative coping mechanisms - cutting hair, reading fanfiction, masturbation, sleeping, texting friends/my therapist, waking my mom up and crying to her, and writing in my diary~

adaptive coping mechanisms - safe space imagery, icing, 4-4-4 breaths, texting my therapist/friends, diary writing, chewing gum