Are You A Pokemon? Cuz I Want A Pikachu

U WNANA FUKCINGN GO?? ????? grab an icecream together or something because u are attractive

pick up line #11

i scream, you scream, but it’s not because we’re terrified ;)

My friend told me this balloon would get me the ladies so here it goes: Are you a dinosaur? Because jurASSics beautiful!

“I was recently diagnosed with a rare disease called cryoaudiovascularia. It prohibits proper blood flow to the ears, causing them to slowly freeze and fall off, slowly spreading to the inner ear and finally to the brain. There is no known cure, except one. My ears need to be constantly warmed, and the only known material soft enough is the inner thighs of a pretty girl. So I need you to sit on my face for medical reasons.”

- Source

nice asteroids

Are you a mix of oxygen and potassium? Cause I think you’re O K

You don’t need a spoonful of sugar to make me go down 😏

I like your band merch but it would look better on the floor.

did anyone ask for soil/farming themed shitty valentine’s cards? no. did I make them anyway? you bet.