Look, If It Helps Y’all Feel Any Better, Try Imagining Actor AU.

Look, if it helps y’all feel any better, try imagining Actor AU.

Personally, my idea of Actor AU includes:

Hunter’s actor is actually goofy and leans in hard to the dad vibes. His hair is, in fact, quite real, much to the dismay of his cast mates. Omega may have recorded BTS snaps of everyone and his included attempting to play dad rock on a guitar he keeps in his trailer.

Wrecker’s actor is actually the Smart Guy, having a degree in something complex like biochemical engineering or something. He’s also quieter and a lot more gentle than the character he plays, preferring to spend his time off-camera reading.

Echo’s actor likes to crack jokes a lot, specifically about how he’s the guy who always has to be in the makeup chair “at the crack of dawn’s ass”. Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair get an earful of playful fussing if he hears them whine about sitting still for their tattoo or scar makeup. Actually has a prosthesis, though his is for one of his legs.

Tech’s actually got a degree in English (“Why else would I be acting?”) and while he’s also on the spectrum, he’s a bit less rigid than the character he plays. He sometimes wishes his character was more forward about things but ultimately respects the sass. His Kiwi accent is a bit stronger outside of the role.

Crosshair’s actor … is ironically nearsighted. Initially, the reason he always seemed to be glaring was because he was trying to get used to the contacts he was given for the first shoot the Batch ever appeared in and it just suited him. Surprisingly chill guy otherwise, very aware of how intimidating he can come off as by looks alone.

Omega is the most like her on-screen character. Just a really cheery, outgoing girl! She brings her homework to do on set sometimes, and asks Wrecker for help since he’s the one who’s best at math and science.

Everyone is always joking about the hair situation: Hunter’s hair is real, they keep having to shave Echo’s hair, Wrecker prefers to be bald, Tech’s hair is actually curly and he hates how it constantly must be jacked up for the sake of his character (think Cillian Murphy’s feelings a la Peaky Blinders), and Crosshair made jokes about how he was so used to dyeing it that he no longer remembers what his hair color actually is. Then when they made him bald (even if by use of a bald cap), Echo and Wrecker chanted “One of us! One of us!” Omega’s hair is naturally blonde and cute so the costumers left it that way.

Once, Omega snapped a pic of Echo in the middle of his makeup regimen all powdered up. Fans saw and quickly began to compare him to a baby covered in powder. Echo liked the image and comparison so much that he printed it out and taped it to his mirror. Now, a common meme that he happily plays around with is “Echo is Baby.” Sometimes, he’ll even deepen his voice and go, “I a m B a b y” just to get a laugh out of someone.

Interviewer: So one of the things that makes the Batch stand out is how they’re generally unafraid of experimenting with their appearances, tattoo-wise in some cases. Are there any tattoos you’d perhaps like to get? Anything like the characters you play? Hunter: Oh, not at all! A face tattoo?! That big!? I’d pass right out right in the chair! Crosshair: Same. I think Crosshair’s tattoo is more about intimidation, and frankly I think I’m scary enough. That, and I don’t know what the guy was on to be able to withstand a tattoo to the face, but I don’t have any of that on me so I doubt that’s ever gonna happen. Hunter: Yeah, the closest thing I think I could do is maybe something on my arm. Maybe my child’s hand print or something of that nature. Crosshair: Ooh, a good old dad classic. Hunter: Yeah! Wrecker: I actually haven’t thought about getting a tattoo since, like, my university years. But hey, who knows? I’ve been told I have plenty of real estate for it! Echo, sheepishly laughing: I like the idea of tattoos, but needles freak me out. Yeah, I know it’s a different type of needle but like?? I don’t like pain!! I think the best I could do is just keep applying one of those temporary tattoos to the same place over and over to create the illusion of having actual ink on me. Maybe mess around with people and skip a day or two. Or better yet: Change out the design! One day there’s a dolphin on my neck, the next day it’s a tiger! Omega: Mum says no tattoos until I turn 18. But I’d like to get a Batcher helmet as commemoration! Tech: I actually have a tattoo! I mean, it’s nothing like what Tech would probably have. I feel like if he ever got any ink, it’d probably be something geeky like his favorite equation, or something symbolic of the galaxy bottled up into a formula of some kind. I imagine that if he wanted something artsier, he’d probably outsource to someone with more artistic skills. Tech: Anyway, my tattoo is of a turtle! Everyone: *is either looking at him or snickering* Crosshair: … A turtle. Tech: What’ve you got against turtles?

Omega convinces the guys to participate in some TikToks and such “for media purposes”. This ends in Wrecker, in character, saying, “Hunter: Omega’s trying to sneak around. But I’m dummy thicc, and the clap of my butt and meaty fists keep alerting the guards!”

Yes: Everyone wishes they could have a lightsaber. Yes: Everyone would most definitely make the lightsaber noises if they had one. And yes: Everyone makes do with their blasters, but they do revert into children who go “pew pew!” every time they pull the triggers. Even Crosshair’s actor, who more so goes “pow” or “bang”.

Interviewer: How are you like the characters you play, if at all? Hunter: I’m a cool dad with awesome hair. Omega: We’re both very curious! Wrecker: I don’t think we – Oh, you know what? We both love Lula! Echo: You mean aside from a prosthesis? Uuummm … Ppprobably … We both love a godawful pun! Tech: I think we both like to collect knowledge for the sake of it. And also, we drive like crazy. Crosshair: We can both be a bit catty

Tech’s actor is constantly fumbling his lines simply because of all the technobabble he has to say.

I do not know why but the image of Crosshair’s actor being a surprisingly good juggler haunts the cinema of my mind’s eye.

And also … They are most definitely Maori or of Maori descent, so jot that tf down.

Don’t know how it’ll help, but Actor AUs are simply The Best™️ so that in and of itself has my stamp of approval for cheering up!

Reblog if you think asexuality is a legitimate sexuality.

I’m trying to prove something.

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painted-daisy-l0l

2 years ago

I would watch a show about the Coruscant Guard. Just think about it:

The series would run tandem with tcw

Seeing the way the senators and civilians treat the clones (aka padme and bail are the only good senators)(aka why do the Coruscant Guard troopers flinch all the time)

Getting to see what was ACTUALLY happening with commander Fox (we know palpatine is involved)

Commander Thorn

Commander Thorn annoying fox with every ounce of energy he has

Commander Thire being soft

Commander Stone consistently having to deal with Jar Jar

Commander Stone is done

We know the Coruscant Guard has riot troopers, what about riots. Do they get violent or out of hand? Are they about the clones? How do the troopers react afterwards?

Did I mention commander Thorn?

Fox getting thrown out windows on a regular

Commander Fox chase scene

Getting to see a different perspective on what is happening through tcw series (fallout from umbara? Rako Hardeen?)

79s

The 501st and 212th causing trouble on leave

The 501st and 212th getting arrested by very amused CG troopers

The 501st and 212th in Fox’s drunk tank

Fox chewing out the 501st and 212th

Fox, Rex, Cody, Wolffe, etc bro moments

The command batch worrying for Fox

The command batch nicknames (we know they exist, David filoni)

Palpatine giving off creeper vibes that set the CG commanders on edge

The CG commanders not letting shinies go near palpatine alone

Closure on what really was going on with fox during and after Fives (*glares at palpatine*)

Seeing the Guard have to deal with the Jedi on Coruscant

Seeing the guard have to deal with Quinlan Vos

Good brother dynamics in a not good situation

Fox not having slept since the war started

Fox surviving solely through caf

Fox is very tired thank you very much

Can’t forget commander Thorn, who has definitely heavily salted Fox’s caf once only to be horrified as Fox gulps it down without so much as a grimace

There also must be certain regulations for members of the Guard (armor paint? Not removing helmets while on duty or in the senate building?)

Fox only taking off his helmet for Thorn because he feels safer that way, or maybe to hide a mutation (maybe Thire takes it off for him after Thorn’s death, because Thorn isn’t around to check on Fox anymore; we all know his death wouldn’t have sat with fox well)

Or even worse, what if it’s palpatine that makes him keep his helmet on? That way his brothers wouldn’t see the change in Fox’s eyes whenever palpatine takes control?

qUiNlAn VoS

Seeing the red hair we know Fox has

The Coruscant Guard commanders being good brothers to each other and their shinies

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painted-daisy-l0l

2 years ago

A human and an alien meet at a single parent's support group. The human is caring for their now deceased partner's child, both aliens. The alien has adopted a human child. They'd planned to adopt the child together with a mate, but were, as humans put it, dumped the day after the adoption went through.

They share soft smiles and gentle looks from across the room at first. Then they bond over the complexities of interspecies families and child-raising over hot drinks like coffee and various kinds of tea. Without realizing it, they sit next to each other in the meetings. The alien's second set of tendrils wrap around the human's hand and arm. They have playdates with their children, and laugh as the two invent their own secret language, a combination of all the cosmic languages they know, and some they just made up.

One day, the two children run up to their parents. The human child is holding a ring made of grass and twigs. The alien child, a crown of wildflowers.

"Let's play wedding!" The human child says. "We'll read the books and you can get married!"

"It'll be official for once!" The alien child says.

The two parents are stunned. The alien parent takes the ring, and looks at the human parent.

"Would you like to?" They ask, their eyes full of hope. "Be my mate?"

The human parent takes the flower crown, the integral part of the culture around bondings in the alien's culture.

"I would love to," they say.

It was sad they had to stop going to the single parent's support group, but all their friends came to the two weddings they had. It was the new beginning they all deserved.

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painted-daisy-l0l

2 years ago

ONE of the most important rules of the Galactic Federation concerns humanity. If a human ever says “Hold my beer”, either stop them, or run.