ONE Of The Most Important Rules Of The Galactic Federation Concerns Humanity. If A Human Ever Says “Hold

Okay but so one of the Clone Empire AUs (AU where the clones take charge of the republic, usually from the seat of Mandalore and take over the galaxy but keep the Jedi but sorta… like pets??? But spoiled pets, not like the senate kept them) but told from the POV of the Jedi being currently kept inside the temple. They’re not really allowed out of the temple, NOT because they’ll run, but because the clones are paranoid af of them getting hurt (90% of the reason the clones took over was cause they were horrified at the senate treating THEIR Jedi like that) but they’re letting certain senators stay to help pick up the pieces of the galaxy (Anakin is in a pretty bad depression in the temple because Padme is allowed to leave to go to the senate but he isn’t allowed to leave without escorts and usually Rex basically putting a child leash on him and it’s giving him some bad feelings about it all) and the Jedi being nervous about it all.

Thing is. The force is CONSTANTLY telling them this is the correct thing to do. They’re supposed to give control to the clones. Clone empire will save the galaxy. But also, they’ve started talking in Dai Bendu around the temple almost constantly, shiftily walking away when the clones come over to talk to them if they’re in groups, just nervous stuff, like skittish cats.

Cody had to get Alpha 17 to come by to talk to Obi-Wan and Anakin before either of them would stop hiding in Obi-Wan’s apartments all day. Obi-Wan hasn’t cuddled with Cody in a month and that’s VERY concerning. Not that they’re together, it’s just that Obi-Wan likes using Cody as a bed and Cody is addicted to seeing Obi-Wan sleep for once. Alpha had to come by like a concerned dad and gently coax them out of hiding and back to being regular temple inhabitants.

Rex, in a move of desperation, drags them off to the temple salon (beauty, not tea in this case, the temple does and should function as it’s own city which means food and clothing production as well as other things like that) and makes them both get massaged till they’re purring piles of Jedi Goop and is pleased with his babysitting duties. A new haircut and getting rid of tension does wonders. They’re fairly normal after that. Obi-Wan goes back to teaching an Alderaanian poetry class (and supervising kiddo art classes) and Anakin is building a new security system that he’ll integrate soon, and Rex is smug to have gotten them the most normal so far.

The Jedi are skittish tookas who want to hide after this blow to their safety and lifestyles, but the newly instated council (which involves doubling the numbers so the clones can discuss the changes and how things will work with the Jedi) is working on a way to get them back to their true calling: peace keeping.

Basically, the clones start their own empire and use a very firm hand on the Jedi to get them to stop being attack dogs and start accepting love and help now. They are never forced to go on a mission with less than 20 clones from then on.

Bly and Aayla get married in the Room of a Thousand Fountains and Quinlan was delighted to give his baby girl away. Here, take her, she’s very annoying. Obi-Wan and Anakin finally get into a long awaited fight about how Ani got married but never invited his master and Obi-Wan is still hurting from it. Rude. Yoda is terrorizing the frog population with Initiate Grogu. Yaddle has more class than those idiots. Qui-Gon’s force ghost shows up and Fives is the only clone in the room that can see him and won’t stop staring at him with big dumb tooka eyes and Qui-Gon is gonna make him shit his pants he just knows it. Rex and Cody are trying to placate their idiot Jetii (Ahsoka was dragged back to the temple and dropped in Anakin’s lap and it was the most normal he’d been in years and they are inseparable now but Ahsoka ain’t getting in the middle of that lmao) with cuddles and hair pets. Padme is throwing up in a bush because she doesn’t know she’s pregnant and this is the start of a lovely bought of forever sickness. Ugh. Anakin and Obi-Wan finally settle their differences when the clones decide they’ll have another ceremony next month for Ani and Padme. Fox is drunk and dosing on a bed of flowers with a fully grown nexu guarding him, having decided he’s his cub now. That’ll be an interesting relationship. Alpha finally picks Obi-Wan up under his armpits like a cat and says if he can’t stop being grumpy it’ll be naptime. It’s very annoying. One of Bly’s troopers shows up with his foundling he got on Concordia when they were raiding a Death Watch camp, named Din, who has managed to catch Grogu and is cuddling and kissing him into submission. Grogu is delighted, and has found his soulmate.

212TH ONE-SHOT

@metalhusbands :one of the clones gets stuck in a vent - chaos insues

As you wish!!!!

(got the idea from @212th-chaos and @obiwanshusband tooka chaos)

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"What do you mean it's IN the vent?!?!" Cody practically yelled, throwing his arms up in exaggeration.

Waxer bowed his head, hiding his hands behind his back. "I didn't realize the vent cover was off so it sprinted towards it, I tried to grab it and it bit me and disappeared…"

Cody pinched the bridge of his nose as he let out a drawn-out sigh. "There's a tooka loose in the ven- wait did you say it bit you?"

Waxer shrugged, still hiding his hands. "It's not that bad, sir."

Cody gave him an unbelieving glare. "Nice try. Med bay. Now," He pointed down the hall. "I'll go find someone to help find the damned thing."

Waxer nodded, heading towards the medbay as Cody started towards the barracks.

As the Commander got closer, he could hear laughing and yelling coming from beyond the door to the barracks. He wasn't sure what he expected to see beyond the door but he definitely didn't expect what he did find.

"Commander!" Boil shot up from where he was crouched on the floor. Next to him, someone was sticking halfway out of a vent, their waist up hidden inside. Boil looked from Cody to whoever was in the vent, back to Cody.

Cody crossed his arms, trying his best to refrain from laughing. "What the hell happened?"

Around Boil, other troopers were failing to control their laughter. "Well, sir," Boil started, barely containing his own laughter, "Waxer lost a tooka in the vent and Wooley saw it and tried to grab it and well…" he motioned to the pair of legs, "he got stuck."

Cody couldn't stop the amused chuckle as Wooley started to kicked his legs.

"Will you stop karking laughing and get me the kriff out?!?" Wooley's muffled yell only caused the boys to keel over laughing once more.

"I'm assuming pulling him out didn't work, then?" Cody asked, leaning against the door frame.

"We tried," Longshot piped up. "But his squeaking as we tried to pull him out-" he fell into a fit of giggles.

"So what you're saying is you bunch of di'kuts were all laughing too hard to pull him out?" Cody asked, his amused smirk never leaving his face.

"No, yeah. That about sums it up sir," Trapper put in between wheeze.

Cody was more laughing at his troopers trying their best to say things in a professional manner all while doubled over wheezing than Wooley screaming profanities through the vent.

"So," Cody made his way over, lightly kicking Wooley's leg. "How bout you lot get him out of the vent so we can find the missing tooka before it bites someone else?"

"I like that plan!" Wooley called out, kicking his legs again, accidentally hitting Cody in the process.

Unfortunately for Wooley, that just sent them all laughing again. Crys, who hadn't said a word since Cody arrived, was now struggling to breath, curled into a ball on the floor.

"What the kriff did I miss?"

Cody turned to see Waxer now standing in the open doorway, a bandage wrapped neatly around his hand.

Cody leaned his back against the wall, sparing a glance at Wooley. "Seems your tooka caused a bit of chaos in your absence."

Waxer chuckled to himself before walking over to Wooley, grabbing his leg and yanking hard. Wooley slid free from the vent and Waxer landed on his ass, wincing as his bandaged hand hit the floor.

Wooley rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling before getting up and launching himself at Boil who practically screamed. Wooley wrestled his vod to the floor. "This is for not getting me out, you karking di'kut!" He yelled as he put Boil in a headlock.

No one came to Boil's rescue and he squirmed to attempt to free himself.

Cody didn't move from his spot against the wall, content to watch the chaos unfold.

Wooley released Boil and latched himself to Longshot who started screaming at Crys to help him. Crys was of no help, still fighting to catch his breath.

Waxer stood up, stopping beside his Commander and his vode rolled around on the floor. "Should we-?"

"Nah," Cody interrupted. "They'll figure it out,"

Cody's attention was quickly drawn back to the vent as a soft meow was heard. Beside his foot the tabby tooka, also watching the chaos it had unknowingly caused.

"There's the little shit!" Wooley's voice called out.

"GET IT!"

headcanon that once when the 501st was on coruscant between missions a group consisting of echo fives jesse kix and rex all decided that they were gonna play as spies and figure out where the fuck skywalker was going every fucking night

like, they have a whole plan: we gotta be stealth, we are speed, we are the shadows. they have to wait outside the jedi temple for hours on end because anakin's schedule is whack and he's really unpredictable and they all have to station themselves at five different exits because anakin always changes it up and they still lose him for the first week

that is, until one night. The group is arguing outside the temple about who is gonna guard what exit (fives really wants to go to the front so he can talk to the hot jedi he saw earlier) when suddenly the window above them slowly slides open and all five of these fully armored clones just swan dive behind garbage cans as anakin dramatic skywalker scales the building from one hundred feet up

they all just look at each other like. wow. it was that easy.

and the thing is is that anakin is so focused on making sure no one is able to see him from a distance that he doesnt even clock in the five clones in bright blue literally five feet away

and they're off, with rex leading the boys on their play away adventure

and it gets really tricky. Anakin walks the entire way ("honestly we should just quit now" -fives) and he's constantly doing his jedi jump tricks and launching himself onto fifty foot buildings so the clones have to make a human ladder and send kix up on comm so he can continue to track (kix is actually the best climber out of all of them due to the fact he always has to scale fucking cliffs to get to skywalker whenever he does something stupid) and they eventually realize exactly where anakin is beelining to. the senate building.

and then anakin just waltzs into the senate like its nothing and all the clones stop and are like "can we do that?" and they agree to just send kix in again to follow like hes on duty and then the rest of them climb using the grappling hooks fives convieniently forgot he had

after kix manages to track anakin to like the millionth floor the clones all meet on the landing deck to this random senator's room (kix had to jump out a window two hallways down and crawl along the window ledges) and then theyre like well whats the worst that happens we get fired?

so they argue and eventually it gets physical to the poitn where jesse and echo straight up launch fives through the window into the room where anakin is sitting watching padme cook on the counter

fives looks up like "heeeey guys whatchu makin?" and anakin immediately force throws him back out

but then the other clones bring it up to just go in so they walk in and as echo is writing down the details of the trip in his notebook jesse is like "are you fucking kidding me skywalker" and rex is shifting on his feet because yeah he knew but he didn't know that was what anakin was doing every night

and then padme sees kix and is like "oh hey kix! are you staying again tonight?"

and thats how kix manipulated his friends into basically breaking and entering when they could have just knocked

The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy

I tried to scroll past this. I really did

After the 30th planet joined the Galactic Union, product manufacturers who wanted to be 'the best' would put their products through planetary tests. However many planets your product could withstand, the better rating it would get. When the 100th planet joined the GU, the Planetary Product Tests started having a yearly ultimate competition which was broadcasted and the results typically heavily affected prices for the upcoming year.

When humanity joined as the 154th planet, humans were coined one of the top three most destructive species, and thus coveted for the PPT. Humans were more than willing to join, and held their own competition to decide who gets to go attempt to destroy these products every year.

Products put in the PPT ranged from small kitchen utensils to new plating for star ships. No product ever survived all 232 planets and their native beings, but some had gotten upwards of 160. Most product designers would recommend which species their product could withstand and then test against those first.

To prepare for the PPT, many companies would hire several humans to continually test their products throughout the year so they knew their end result would be favorable. The label 'Human Tested' soon became a sought after title in shops across the galaxy. Because if something can withstand those crazy deathworlders, then it should be able to handle anything else thrown at it.

Unfortunately, like anything else humans touched in the GU, the PPT soon had to adopt so many rules and regulations that it choked itself out of it's own market, becoming a fake sponsored event with pre decided winners. Individual companies were now in charge of hiring species to test their products before marketing them, and bribes to correct human organizations meant the 'Human Tested' label appeared on subpar products.

Hiring humans also became expensive, and humans quickly became one of the most trafficked commodities among rich companies. Eventually the GU had to step in. With help from Human, Faetatia, and Aureda law makers, a strict set of laws was created that even the most cunning of humans would be hard pressed to get around.

The PPT was disbanded, and testing had to be submitted to the Testing Agency. The Testing Agency created to employ several of every species and was directly overseen by the GU government. Species could only work at the Testing Agency for three years to minimize potential corruption. And if anyone was found trafficking a human, said human would then get ten minutes to exact revenge before whatever remained was then taken to court.

After some time, certain beings (humans) got nostalgic for the PPT and began buying products to host their own version of it. As they gained popularity, companies would donate new products for their PPT.

And the circle of craziness that makes up human history began again while the GU government regretted ever allowing humans to join in the first place.

150 word challenge! Eddie has to watch Hermes and Tom while the dads are out! We need more Eddie interactions lol

150 words exactly!! I'm proud of this one! It's a lot harder than I thought to finish a whole idea/scene in so few words. But it was a good sort of challenging!

"Grandpa Eddie! Grandpa Eddie!"

"Yes, Hermes?" the man questioned, snagging the child off the ground to stop the constant running. Hermes giggled as Eddie pulled them further and further into the air.

"Tom wants a snack! He's hungry," Hermes claimed.

"Oh, Tom wants a snack? Not you?"

"Me too! Me too, Grandpa Eddie!"

"Well, we should go ask your brother what he wants for his snack, shouldn't we?"

Hermes barely hesitated before agreeing. "Yeah, Tom can choose the snack!"

The child in Eddie's arms began wriggling around to escape the hold. The grandfather released Hermes, only to watch them speed off in the direction of their brother.

"Hey Tom-tom, what snack do you want?"

"Snack? Can have juice? And carrots?"

"Of course you can have juice and carrots, Tom," Eddie agreed easily, ruffling the small child's hair gently, eliciting a grin from the boy. "Do you want the same, Hermes?"

"Yes, please!"

I would watch a show about the Coruscant Guard. Just think about it:

The series would run tandem with tcw

Seeing the way the senators and civilians treat the clones (aka padme and bail are the only good senators)(aka why do the Coruscant Guard troopers flinch all the time)

Getting to see what was ACTUALLY happening with commander Fox (we know palpatine is involved)

Commander Thorn

Commander Thorn annoying fox with every ounce of energy he has

Commander Thire being soft

Commander Stone consistently having to deal with Jar Jar

Commander Stone is done

We know the Coruscant Guard has riot troopers, what about riots. Do they get violent or out of hand? Are they about the clones? How do the troopers react afterwards?

Did I mention commander Thorn?

Fox getting thrown out windows on a regular

Commander Fox chase scene

Getting to see a different perspective on what is happening through tcw series (fallout from umbara? Rako Hardeen?)

79s

The 501st and 212th causing trouble on leave

The 501st and 212th getting arrested by very amused CG troopers

The 501st and 212th in Fox’s drunk tank

Fox chewing out the 501st and 212th

Fox, Rex, Cody, Wolffe, etc bro moments

The command batch worrying for Fox

The command batch nicknames (we know they exist, David filoni)

Palpatine giving off creeper vibes that set the CG commanders on edge

The CG commanders not letting shinies go near palpatine alone

Closure on what really was going on with fox during and after Fives (*glares at palpatine*)

Seeing the Guard have to deal with the Jedi on Coruscant

Seeing the guard have to deal with Quinlan Vos

Good brother dynamics in a not good situation

Fox not having slept since the war started

Fox surviving solely through caf

Fox is very tired thank you very much

Can’t forget commander Thorn, who has definitely heavily salted Fox’s caf once only to be horrified as Fox gulps it down without so much as a grimace

There also must be certain regulations for members of the Guard (armor paint? Not removing helmets while on duty or in the senate building?)

Fox only taking off his helmet for Thorn because he feels safer that way, or maybe to hide a mutation (maybe Thire takes it off for him after Thorn’s death, because Thorn isn’t around to check on Fox anymore; we all know his death wouldn’t have sat with fox well)

Or even worse, what if it’s palpatine that makes him keep his helmet on? That way his brothers wouldn’t see the change in Fox’s eyes whenever palpatine takes control?

qUiNlAn VoS

Seeing the red hair we know Fox has

The Coruscant Guard commanders being good brothers to each other and their shinies

7 for vox? :]

I know your weakness.  It’s kisses.  You are doomed. (Don’t worry.  We’re all doomed eventually.)

"C'mon."

"No."

"Foooooooox. Come on."

"I can't. I've got this whole stack of forms to sign, and then I have to look over the shift schedule for the rest of the week -"

Quin grabs Fox's wildly waving hand and plucks the stylus out of his grip, tossing it carelessly behind him.

"Hey-" Fox starts, but cuts off sharply when Quinlan brings his hand up to his lips and presses a kiss to his bruised knuckles. His lips are soft and warm, and it catches Fox's breath in his throat; the tender way that Quinlan holds his hand, the low-banked simmer in his eyes as he peeks up at Fox.

"You were saying?"

Fox shakes his head and tries to remember his train of thought. Meanwhile, Quinlan's on the move; he prowls behind Fox's desk chair and lands another soft kiss to the nape of Fox's neck. It blazes along the nerve endings, standing Fox's hair on end and making him shiver.

Quinlan's purring voice doesn't help with that, either. "I know your weakness," he whispers, so close to Fox's ear that he can feel Quin's hot breath.

"The Kaminoans promised no vulnerabilites," Fox manages, breaking off into a moan when Quin's teeth just graze the shell of his ear.

"Did they?" Quinlan presses his lips to Fox's temple. "I'm seeing a few. A couple kisses and you're already distracted."

"That's not fair," Fox protests, but Quin is already continuing. "What happens if I tell you you've done so good today? That you deserve a reward?"

Fox's quick intake of breath is answer enough. The smile that spreads across Quinlan's face is sharp and affectionate, with just an edge of mockery. "Good boy," he coos when Fox stands up, and rewards him with a kiss, this time on the lips. It's less tender than the others, hungrier, making Fox press in closer and throw his arms around Quinlan's neck.

Without breaking the kiss, Quinlan scoops Fox up. His legs wind around Quinlan's solid hips, held up by the Force or Quin's strong arms. Fox can't tell, and he doesn't care, either, as Quinlan carries him off to the couch, the whole time kissing him like it's the last thing he'll ever do.

Not a bad way to go, Fox thinks, and then he can't even think anymore.

(a softer world prompts)

Using the palette Fist Fight with God. It’s not cheating to use the layer effects right? I don’t think so…. Next one will be much later. I gotta move back to college soon

I like to imagine that at least once during the clone wars someone sent a report to General Kenobi and a very tired Master Kenobi just graded it and sent it back.