Wattpad Crack: We're Unrealistic And Kinda Cringe

Man life is funny when you just stop giving a shit. Like you distance yourself. Act like you're not a human experiencing the fall of humanity, imagine ur an alien watching it. Watching them scramble to pick up the pieces they themselves broke.

However we got here I don't know, but for this metaphor let's say god's how. God is you in this metaphor. You've just placed your very fish hungry cat into a fish tank. The fish tank has to water but a multitude of fish. All the cat must do is eat the fish. The cat then grows a fucking hand and fucking fills the tank with water. Then when the cat cannot breathe it's shocked. It hops and skips for air and gives up because, "Well not much I can do about it; I mean I'm only a cat." The cat is thinking. So the cat just slowly fucking drowns. And you just stand there like,

And you're simply in too much shock to help your drowning cat and honestly the fish might be dead too they were out of the water for a while. And what the fuck is going on and why the fuck did your cat GROW A FUCKING ARM!??!?!?!??!?

Anyway so in this metaphor, God is you, the cat is humanity, the arm is economics and fossil fuel and colonisation, the fishes are earth and existence, and of course the water is the global issues we're facing.

The point is, if a cat growing an arm and drowning itself isn't funny to you, get rid of the water pussy. Get it? Pussy. It's a cat metaphor- Anyway! If it is funny to you then like just fucking watch! Like see what happens. I don't know!? Maybe the arm comes back and grabs a bucket. The funniest and most likely outcomes are,

1.) The cat just fucking sits down and takes it, slowly drowning with a care in the world. (We all die like the dinos did)

2.) The cat freaks out and pushes the fish tank over and it explodes into a million shards of glass. (Apocalypse senario)

3.) The cat stands up and steps out of the tank. (Moving planets)

4.) The cat drinks the water and then chokes and dies (We use our problems to cause more problems)

5.) The cat grabs a bucket and slowly dumps out the water. (We fix this shit)

Either way I'm rooting for 5 but I cannot wait to see what happens, especially if it's six. Oh six is the cat growing gills which is basically just the frog in a pot metaphor where we all just get used to the planet being on fire and not being able to breathe nice air.

Any bye!!!!!

WRITEBLR HELLP

Where can I find accurate medical information on injuries. Like treatment, severity, and of course how long it would take to bleed out. I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING-

Reblog to bonk your mutuals on the head every time they start thinking negatively about themselves

does anyone on this site enjoy Banana Bread?

My autistic brother created a new family Christmas tradition

Okay, so last year, my mom bought this Christmas moose that she lovingly named Barry

This is him

Cute, right?

Well, for whatever reason only known to my brother, he decided that he wanted to put Barry in different rooms of our house and it usually scares the shit out of whomever happens upon Barry; usually the person who finds him is the person that my brother wanted to scare.

So far, Barry has been found

On our dining room table

On my dad's side of my parents' bed

In my parents' closet

Outside their bedroom door (at 5 in the morning and scared my mother shitless)

Near the kitchen door

Near my fucking bed

At the bottom of my sister's stairwell

In our bathroom

And down the hallway

This has gone on for 9 days and it doesn't seem to show signs of stopping. Most of the time we know who gets Barry because it's always followed with a very loud "FUCKING BARRY!!!!!"

My brother is the funniest fucking person I know.

❗AVOID THESE PEDOPHILES AT ALL COSTS! ❗

I was scrolling through Tumblr and came across a post of KNOWN PEDOPHILES ON TUMBLR (many of which have or want to rape actual children/minors)

THERE ARE ACTUAL PEDOPHILES ON TUMBLR TRYING TO GET IN TOUCH WITH MINORS ON TUMBLR

PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST THIS LIST AND KEEP OUR MINORS SAFE

Do i check to see if other ppl have reblogged that post before i reblog it? Yes, the anxiety is strong. I'm never safe from it. I make a post. Anxiety! I like a post. Anxiety! I make this post. Anxiety! Why? IMAGINATION MUTHERFUCKER-

I'll rant about the downsides of being a creative lil' shit another day.

May I politely request your awesome human Perry design as:

Your art is really cool btw

The things he puts up with

Fun fact: I’m autistic I’m gonna do a thing inspired by another person

Reblog if your blog is safe for autistic people or is ran by an autistic person!

oh and

Reblog if you stand against Autism Speaks!

Queerest names possible (in a good way), go.