The Way Of The Househusband

I’m not a sap I swear.

Bonus

being mistaken for a married couple [genshin men] pt.2

scaramouche, ayato, thoma

WHY DID PEOPLE LIKE PT 1 SO MUCH THANK YOU

scaramouche is ten times longer once again. ALSO KAZUHA’S GOING TO BE IN THE NEXT ONE FORGIVE ME FOR NOT PUTTING HIM ON HERE IT WAS TOO LONG

ayato

“That one’s too simple, I doubt she’d like it.”

“That’s way different from her size!”

“She’s going to go ballistic if you give her a hot pink dress for her wedding day,” you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Honestly, Ayato, I didn’t think you’d be this hopeless when you asked me to help pick out a wedding dress for your friend.”

“Oh? Do I seem to be an expert in this field?” he suggests, eyeing yet another atrocious dress. You contemplate blindfolding him because at this point, that might be a better option. Just as he reaches for it, you slap his hand away to which he laughs. “I really am grateful for your assistance, truly. As you can probably see.”

“Oh, I see alright-”

“Young master, I didn’t expect to see you here.”

An older man, noticeably crouched over from age approaches Ayato, offering a healthy smile despite his stature. “I haven’t seen you in ages–much less somewhere like here.”

“It’s nice to see you again,” Ayato replies, then turning to motion to you. “This is Matsukushi, an old friend of mine.”

“I worked under him for quite some time,” the old man explains, then glances at Ayato. “Though I work selling wedding dresses now, those days aren’t all too far behind me. It seems a lot has happened since I left…I didn’t realize you were engaged.”

Your jaw drops. For a few moments, you convince yourself that Ayato had gotten himself an engagement unbeknownst to you, but considering he prefers being a hermit within his work, you highly doubt such a situation. When you realize what the man is implying, you shake your head frantically. “No, no, that’s not-”

“Eventually,” he says before you finish. “But unfortunately, not for myself today. It’s for a friends’ fiancee.”

At this, you can feel yourself drop the several dresses that had been clutched in your arms, barely allowing Ayato to grab them in time. Was this a proposal? Or was he indicating the far future that had no use in pondering on now? Thoughts flood your head rapidly, making you spin. The old man however, seems to be unable to read the room and nods. “Ah, I see, my mistake. Well please do call me if you need any aid.”

And when he vanishes behind the counter, you’re left dumbfounded staring at Ayato. Sure, you’ve thought about it–daydreamed–about it countless times after the extensive period of time you’d spent with him, but never realized the weight of it in actuality. As your mind repeats his words on echo, its only snapped out of its trance when he places a cool hand on your head.

“Boring way to find out, right?” he smiles. “This one doesn’t count though, alright? When I propose, I’ll do it properly. And if you’re still unsure then, I’ll do it as much as you need me to and I’ll be as patient as you need me.”

You can’t help but go weak in the knees. As a result, you don’t hear him when he says that he does know how to pick dresses. Maybe he just wanted to spend time with you.

scaramouche

He knows anybody who’s heard of his name would never dream of him being in a relationship–much less any positive association with another human being. From his sharp tongue to his cold nature, it’s practically impossible to imagine him being close with someone else.

Yet he makes an exception for his minions. Not just any of them, no, he finds most of them unbearably stupid and bothersome. Specifically, his assistant.

You move to glance around the market. He follows you closely behind, dressed in a more civilian like attire much to his distaste, after relentless begging on your part. He sees no point in dressing so plainly when he knows most people in this foreign nation don’t even recognize his identity as a harbinger. Still, he silently observes you as you anxiously grip the bag of mora he’d given you.

“Here’s the list,” he says, tossing you a sheet of paper which you barely manage to grab. “I’m staying here. Be back in 15 minutes or I’m coming after you.”

“My lord, this list is awfully long to finish in 15 minutes.”

He knows, he wants to say. He would follow after you anyway. “Is there a problem?”

“Well, I guess we are kind of in a hurry after you blew up your office.” The harmless bite in your voice should’ve boiled his blood to no end, but he only finds himself rolling his eyes. At this, he frowns. Perhaps he was being too soft on you.

You flash a bright smile and wave as you disappear into the crowd of people. He halfheartedly shrugs in response and turns to find a decent corner of alley to stay around before your return, but his plans are interrupted much rudely.

“Hello dear. Yes, you.”

He scowls at the soft voice calling for him from another stall. Though he glares at the old woman perched in the flower shop, she only smiles, her skin wrinkling with old age. “Would you like a flower?”

“No,” he replies immediately, turning to leave, but she only lets out a soft laugh.

“I’m sure your partner over there would love it,” she says. “Our flowers are freshly picked you know. And spring’s in full bloom–you can’t get flowers any more beautiful than these.”

He wishes she’d shut up, considering that with a snap of his fingers he could order someone to pick up a thousand flowers from an entirely other region. Especially since the flowers don’t live up to his standards in the slightest. However, he quickly snaps out of his analyzation of the flowers, shaking his head. “We’re not like that. Don’t assume such a-”

“Ah, then you must already be married!” she blinks. “My apologies, I didn’t know.”

Even he’s almost at a loss of words, unsure if he should spit out foul words or simply walk away from the scene. But before he can even decide, she hands him a blue iris. “Here you are. A token of congratulations. These symbolize faith and hope.”

“We’re not-”

“My lord!” your voice tears his attention away. You bolt up to him, holding bags full of items that were certainly not on the list he’d given you. “I couldn’t help it, the groceries were 50% off, and we haven’t gone yet this week, have we? Well, if we have, we could give some to the others, and-”

“My, that looks quite heavy, are you alright?” the woman speaks up again and Scaramouche suppresses the urge to tape her mouth shut.

“Oh, yes, I’m alright, thank yo-”

“This one has what I need, right?” he snaps suddenly, taking one of the bags from you. You nod, and that’s all he needs before he’s walking off. “We’re leaving.”

“Ah, but we haven’t bought the other things on the list yet!”

He places the blue iris on top of the groceries filling your arms, close enough that you could smell its scent. “We’ll get it later. This place is full of mental commoners, and I’m seconds away from getting violent.”

You blink at the flower, opening your mouth to ask but he’s gone in an instant, disappearing into the crowd. You groan and turn to bid the woman farewell, and she laughs. “You two are such an adorable couple. You remind me of my old days.”

At this, your face heats. Unbeknownst to you, the slightest of embarrassment creeps onto his own face–not that he’d ever admit it.

thoma

“We’ll stay with you until your mommy and daddy come find you, okay?” Thoma offers to the crying child, holding out a bottle of water he carries in his pocket. You’ve always known that children love Thoma, but you didn’t know of its extent until the child calms down immediately, expression changing into a beam in mere minutes. You can’t blame the kid because even you yourself find yourself in a calmer state the second you’re in Thoma’s presence. How he does it, you’d like to know too.

Soon enough, you’re walking hand in hand with the little boy and Thoma, glancing around the city in hopes of finding a face similar to the boy’s. Unfortunately, you fail to find any despite Thoma asking around the townspeople and your constant searching. 

After a few hours, the three of you decide upon a break. When you see the child eyeing a specific food vendor, you smile and lead the way. “You’re hungry right? Some food might help all of us reenergize.”

There, the cook eyes your group up and down before turning back to his kitchen. “The family discount ended at lunch. You’ll have to pay full price if you want anything.”

You stare in shock (mostly of his rudeness) while Thoma visibly chokes on his own spit. Did he think you were married? With a child? The thought of it is bizarre, but you can’t help but think of how nice it would be. Thoma’s good at everything related to the house–cleaning, cooking, babysitting–he was practically a dream man for some people. But marriage has rarely crossed your mind so why did you feel so….This mere thought makes you look away.

The boy however, seems unfazed as he simply sits himself on one of the stools, happily swinging his legs. Seeing that it’s not the time to address the mistake, you continue to order dishes, ignoring the heat flooding your face.

Finally, when the boy’s mother comes looking for him, you pass him off happily and wave as they disappear down the street. It’s nearly sunset now as you feel Thoma take your hand. “Shall we get home, then?”

The walk back home is silent. Usually, the two of you indulge in a comfortable silence but this one has a cloud of unsaid words swirling around the two of you, leaving you obsessing over your own wishes. Eventually the silence becomes so suffocating that he clears his throat.

“Agh, now I feel bad…” he mumbles, his blond hair falling over his eyes.

You lift your head. “Huh? About what?”

“I think it made you uncomfortable,” he clarifies, sheepishly meeting your eyes. “But I was really happy when he called us a family.”

Your eyes grow wide.

He swipes at his red tinted cheeks and shakes his head. “Maybe I got ahead of myself, or something like that. If you’re not ready for it–if you’re never ready for that, I would never be upset at you. But at the same time, it would be a dream too–to be able to call myself your husband. Sorry, I naturally thought that you’d like it too and I-”

“I do!” you nearly yell, making him jump. “I do. Like it. A lot. I’d like to call you my spouse.”

The two of you stare at one another in surprise before you both laugh. His fingers tighten around yours, making your chest feel as if it’s about to explode with butterflies. It doesn’t take much to guess that he feels the same.

“Let’s talk more about this later, when we get home. I still have to make dinner, you know.”

Shout out to this specific genre of ships:

Mysterious girl with beautiful golden eyes and star motifs, and guy who is stoic (but is actually a gentle sweetheart with trauma, and is associated with the military in some way) and has a teal colour palette.

I will always eat this dynamic up.

#spy x family #now this is what you call development

This is absolutely not important, but I admire how every time we get a glimpse of the Forger’s hallway we see *new* - and increasingly real - family pictures.

When the series first started, there was that lone Forger Family portrait where Yor and Anya both look like they need the bathroom.

And then we got the cringe and doctored photos that were part of the lovey-dovey package when Yuri first visits.

After that we see the cringest photos removed - it's now all Family Forger, all the time. But at this point in the story - right after the Doggy Crisis - the photos are still all 'staged'.

But by the time Nightfall visits, we see a new photo of the Forgers, this time, with Bond too! And that does not look like they are in a photo studio. More like Bond trying to take a selfie in a park somewhere. (Yes, if Bond can see the future, he can take selfies.)

When we get a good glimpse of the Forger's hallway again in the manga after Nightfall's visit, when Bond sees a vision of him possibly dying from eating Yor's cooking, there are now more new photos: Bond licking Anya like she's made of peanut butter (she's had so much peanuts that...maybe?), and another of the whole Forger family together, smiling and acting natural.

I hope this becomes a recurring thing in the series - every time we see the top of that cabinet there will be new pictures of the Forger family, until the end of the series when it's just creaking under the weight of all the photos.

Because they are the memories Loid, Yor, Anya and Bond have made together. They are evidence that it happened, and that all of it was real.

Damian's a little curious about his crush

*anyway jump in SxF hole*

HERE COMES THE BOYYYY

— made for loving you —

things you do that make them fall deeper in love with you!

pairings: kazuha x gn! reader, cyno x gn! reader, xiao x gn! reader, abyss prince! aether x gn! reader, albedo x gn! reader, tighnari x gn! reader, scaramouche x gn! reader.

genre: fluff, absolute fluff

warnings: not proof-read

“i’ve loved you three summers now, honey, but i want ‘em all”

— taylor swift, lover

KAEDEHARA KAZUHA — THE WANDERING SAMURAI

when you ask him about his poetry and his adventures. kazuha’s heart warms at the sight of your bright and hopeful eyes and at the way you give him your undivided attention. be it sitting under the shade of scarlet leaved trees or in the privacy of your home, the way you always play with his fingers as his gentle voice weaves flowers or narrates thrilling journeys never fails to make his heart skip some beats.

CYNO — GENERAL MAHAMATRA

when you defeat enemies and when you laugh at his jokes or follow his explanation of it intently. cyno thinks it’s so attractive of you taking on those criminals and making them confess, with only a swing of your weapon. and, when he goes on about his jokes and they make you laugh, genuinely laugh, the general’s gaze becomes wide eyed, his lips turning up into a subtle smile, in the same way yours curve up when he explains the meaning of the jokes you don’t quite understand.

XIAO — THE YAKSHA, GENERAL ALATUS

when you literally do anything for him or show him affection. xiao is not used to being taken care of in such tender ways as you do. when you simply hold his hand while you walk around wanghsu inn, when you cook almond tofu for him (and insist he lets you feed him), when you put qingxin flowers in his hair while you two rest under the golden canopies of ginkgo trees… if you pay attention, you can see the adeptus’ golden eyes hold endless tenderness and his cheeks catch a the prettiest shade of red.

AETHER — HIS ABYSSAL MAJESTY

your kindness, the light you radiate. in a world buried and surrounded in darkness and years of loss and anguish, you are his north star. aether doesn’t think he can put into words the warm sensation spreading through his chest when he comes back to you after any missions he has to attend. there is a nostalgic tenderness in the way your fingers comb through his locks of tainted gold and your arms wrap around his troubled frame, memories of long gone sunny days and the scent of fresh flowers surrounding the prince of the abyss.

ALBEDO — THE CHIEF ALCHEMIST

when you care for him and for klee. something as simple for you as bringing albedo snacks and reminding him to take breaks when he’s working for hours in his lab means the world to him. the cool headed alchemist can be seen blushing and smiling softly to himself. also, when you play with klee or take her fishing (and prevent her from blasting the whole lake) albedo’s thoughts wander to dreams of a family with you one day…

TIGHNARI — THE FOREST WATCHER

when you help him relax after a long day of work. similar to albedo, tighnari spends long hours collecting ingredients and preparing medicine, as well as making sure the forest is safe. so, coming back home to you and cuddling in your arms, while you pet his tail and ears with care, always manages to put him at ease. like albedo, tighnari’s heart fills with warmth when he sees how much you care for collei and how much she adores and admires you.

SCARAMOUCHE — KUNIKUZUSHI, THE WANDERER

your loyalty, when you stick to him, no matter the adversities. scaramouche has lost so many people he cherished, so it won’t be easy for him to let himself feel again. but when despite his cold and biting tone, you persevere, you keep being kind to him, because you see through his facade, the cage around his heart starts to melt. slowly, one bar at a time, but surely, not even himself can’t deny his appreciation for you. caressing the heart of the balladeer is no easy feat, so hold it dear and treasure it, treasure him, because kunikuzushi loves you, and even if the veil of his emotions is not transparent, you grasp the message.

hori says: since these were very short headcanons i felt i could include tighnari as well without writing him too ooc!

𝑨 𝑳𝑰𝑻𝑻𝑳𝑬 𝑩𝑰𝑹𝑫𝑰𝑬

⟡ content: xiao x gn!reader; sfw; fluff; established relationship; xiao has certain powers that i will not disclose since it will spoil the fic, but it will be very obvious when you read it !; 1.5k words

⟡ a/n: couldn't for the life of me come up with a one sentence summary for this so unfortunately there is just the title to go off of 😔 also chibi xiao for the banner because it matches the vibe of the story hehe i hope you enjoy mwah !

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“If anything happens-”

“Just speak your name and you’ll be there.”

You finished off Xiao’s sentence with a soft smile.

Xiao’s protectiveness was second nature to him. Though he knew you were capable of fending for yourself, it never felt right for him to let you go on long travels without reiterating his promise to you. Especially now when you were heading to another nation where its threats were unfamiliar to him.

“But I won’t need to because nothing will happen to me,” you continued, flicking the clasps of your travel bag closed. “That is, unless the alchemical materials in the laboratory become sentient and decide to attack.”

Xiao gave a pout. “My concern is with the monsters of Dragonspine, not inanimate objects.”

His unwavering sincerity meant he seldom reciprocated your jokes, particularly when they revolved around your own safety. He had always thought that this would make him appear too stiff. Little did he know that it endeared him to you even more.

You walked over to Xiao, taking both his hands in yours. Eyes meeting his serious, amber gaze, you gently kissed the spot between his brows, trying to smooth out the furrow that had made its home there. He tensed ever so slightly before relaxing, still getting accustomed to your open affection.

“I’ll always be accompanied by members of the Knights of Favonius,” you detailed. “And I’ll be staying in the city whenever I’m not doing my training.”

Conceding to your rational arguments, his frown melted away with a sigh. The sharpness on his face was replaced with a softer expression as you squeezed his hands. He let out a low hum, focusing on the weight of your hands in his own. After your leave, it would be a little while until he would be able to feel this once again.

“I’ll be alright, Xiao.”

Your voice resonated through his head. Sweet and reassuring.

Of course everything would be alright. It was you after all.

However, there would be nothing stopping Xiao from being who he was either.

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There always seemed to be a pleasant breeze in the City of Mondstadt, neither too strong nor too cold. You were thankful for the window in your room facing outwards into the street so you could always enjoy the fresh air. The accommodation in Angel’s Share tavern was modest, with all the essential features for a visitor like yourself. A bed, a cupboard for storage, and small writing desk below a window.

Today, the winds cooled your skin, toying with loose strands of your hair, but never disrupting the papers on your desk below as you worked.

After tidying up the notes from that day’s alchemical training session, you brought out a fresh piece of parchment. Dipping your quill into the black ink pot, you began to write, taking care so your handwriting wouldn’t be as illegible as your study notes.

Dear Xiao…

To ease your boyfriend’s worries about your status, you also each promised to write to each other. Fortunately, with Liyue and Mondstadt being neighbouring nations, mailing could be sent and received within a few days. Verr Goldet would certainly be surprised to see Xiao skulking around the lobby, secretly waiting for a letter addressed to him.

Too engrossed in your penning, you failed to notice company joining you by your open window.

A small bird landed on the sill with unnatural grace. It hopped curiously, head tilting one side then the other. It was only until it gave a chirp did your head shoot upwards.

“Archons!”

You placed your hand over your chest in surprise. The bird let out another chirp, ruffling its own feathers. A laugh bubbled out of you, amused by how frightened you were by such a harmless creature.

Placing your pen to the side, you leaned your head in your hand and observed the bird.

“You nearly scared me to death, you know that?” you said to it, lifting your brows in mock scolding.

You hadn’t seen a bird like this before. Its plumage was a mixture of teals with purple around the top of its head. Maybe it was a native bird of Mondstadt. You’d have to ask Albedo about it during your training session tomorrow.

The little bird didn’t move. It simply stared back with unblinking eyes.

You were no animal whisperer, yet something about its stance made it look like it was anticipating something. Your natural urge to pet cute things took over and you slowly reached out a hand towards it. That seemed to be the correct response as the bird quickly met the palm of your hand, nuzzling under your touch. You chuckled, rubbing small circles into its head with your thumb.

The bird gave another chirp, quieter this time but satisfied, nonetheless.

“You might be the cutest bird I’ve ever seen,” you mused aloud. “I should keep you to myself and take you home with me.”

From under your palm, the bird squeaked. It almost sounded alarmed. You lifted your hand curiously, and it hopped out of your touch. Its head swivelled around, looking between you and the window behind it. It came to a decision and unfurled its wings, taking flight into the open air.

You stood up and stuck your head out of the window, following its path before it blended in with the clear blue sky and disappeared from your sight.

You flopped back down into your chair, the wood creaking beneath you. The inked greeting you wrote at the beginning of your letter had dried down, settling into the parchment. Smiling to yourself, you picked up your pen and continued to write.

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The little teal bird could only make it to Stone Gate before it had to make a stop.

Away from the eyes of any merchant or traveller passing through, it landed on one of the cliffs that lined the edges of the board walk.

If it were to land where there would be citizens present, it would probably cause a spectacle for what it was about to do next.

Wisps of green energy formed and coalesced around the bird, covering its body. The once tiny form grew larger and larger, reaching human size. Once upon a time, the transformation would have been much faster—almost instantaneous. But it had been a long time since he last used this power.

No trace of the little bird could be found as Xiao’s human form materialized.

Immediately, he fell to his knees. Partly because the transformation had been strenuous to concentrate on, but mostly because of his own embarrassment.

It had been less than a week since your departure, and Xiao could not wait for your first letter. He had to see for himself that no harm had befallen you.

He covered his beet-red face with both gloved hands, letting out a flustered groan.

His act would have been utterly blown had you kept him with you like a pet. The thought of him using up the last of his power and transforming while with you was too mortifying of a scenario. He also harshly reminded himself that you had not called him cute but rather the bird, and therefore there was no reason for his heart to be beating so fast.

How foolish of me... Of course nothing bad happened, he thought to himself. He had seen you unscathed, diligently studying, and even writing this week's letter for him.

Xiao took a moment to regain his energy and steady his heart. He gazed out at the landscape of Dihua Marsh. The remnant sensation of your warm hand caressing his feathered head left goosebumps on his skin. He had missed your soothing touch. Though, it just wasn’t the same compared to his human form. He couldn’t wrap his arms around you, feel you relax in his hold, or smell the scent of your perfume.

Xiao quietly admitted to himself that he preferred that you held his normal self. And because of that, he would be responsible and wait out these remaining four weeks until you returned to Liyue. That would be his first and last instance of spying in on you. Besides, he had your letters to look forward to.

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HE WAS SO FUNNY FOR THIS

Love Language

♡ Thoma’s love language is physical touch, and he cannot bear not having skin to skin contact with you!

A/N: Pure fluff with gender neutral reader! My first post on here hehehe~

Lovestruck Thoma who can’t keep his hands off you; oftentimes he doesn’t even realize it himself, but anytime the two of you are out, at the very least you can expect a hand on your lower back or your arms intertwined together. It’s just his love language, always gravitating to show his appreciation for you in gentle caresses of your cheek, a nuzzle of your noses, a sweet squeeze of your arm. 

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