Can You Write Something About An Apollo Girl Using Luke That He's Her Muse As An Excuse To See Him. Like

best friends best friends best friends

a study session you wouldn't want to interrupt

they're smiling but

the sun ⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊

ECLIPSE - PROLOGUE, PART ONE, PART TWO

luke castellan x child of dionysus reader

ABOUT - you come clean to luke over a bottle of wine as you stare at the sky.

A/N - part two!! this is written from the readers perspective this time :P might write the prologue sooner or later idk

WARNINGS - alcohol consumption, kissing, crying, swearing i think?? but idk i don’t remember

two hours later, and you and luke were staring at the lake as you sat together, the bottle of wine now half full.

the other few demigods that came along now were either swimming, or too drunk to stand, or talking amongst themselves.

you didn’t expect to be sitting with luke alone; nor did you expect the conversation to be so fun.

but then again, you didn’t care if the conversation was good or not. you wouldn’t even care if he was calling you names or simply ignoring you.

you had learnt that to love is to make sacrifices, and you had 4 years of first-hand experience.

the air was relaxed and easy, and the conversation was interesting. the fact that your rival was sitting right next to you, sharing a bottle of wine, felt surreal.

luke said something stupid and light hearted as you giggled quietly, taking another swig of the bottle. your breathing slowed down a bit as you turned to look at him.

“are you feeling tipsy yet, castellan?” you asked quietly, the moon hitting the side of your face in the most angelic way.

your hair was almost as bright as the starts at this point- your lips stained red due to the pigment of the wine and the irritation caused by drinking from the bottle.

“tipsy?” he scoffed, grabbing the bottle from you and taking a sip. “even if i am, no way am i admitting it to you.”

the warm breeze blew through your hair, the moon’s light bouncing right off of it and illuminating the area. he stared at you as you sat next to him, your eyes wide open as you stared out at the lake.

you looked magical.

“you really are beautiful.”

your head turned to face him, your lips slightly parting in shock at the abrupt compliment.

‘luke castellan said i was beautiful?!’

you felt your breath hitch, your cheeks turning red- but you couldn’t tell if that was from the alcohol or from his compliment.

“yeah, you’re tipsy,” you whispered playfully in an attempt to brush off the comment.

you sighed, ruffling your hand through his hair before taking the bottle from him.

“shut up,” luke scoffed, looking away from you in embarrassment.

you laughed dryly, leaning your back against the grass and staring up at the stars.

“no, i wont shut up,” you argued, a big smile on your face.

“castellan said i was beautiful!” you exclaimed breathily, giggling quietly as you kicked your feet against the grass.

the corner of his lips twitched into a smirk for a moment. “i really hate you, you know that?” he laughed, taking another swig.

“besides, no one will believe you,” he teased, nudging you playfully.

you shook your head, pressing an index finger against your lip as you made a ‘shh’ sound.

“i’m not going to tell anyone. your words are gonna be my little secret,” you whispered, looking up at him as he continued drinking from the wine bottle.

even under the moonlight, he still shone like the sun.

‘i guess that’s why luke and i clashed. he was the sun, and i was the moon.’

“you’re going to drive me insane,” luke mumbled, passing you the bottle of wine.

was he blushing? his cheeks were certainly more red than before, and he couldn’t maintain eye contact with you anymore.

you retracted your finger from your lips, letting out a dry chuckle.

you sat back up, grasping the bottle of wine and taking a large swig.

“yeah, what do you expect? my dads the god of insanity, castellan,” you retorted playfully, a smug smile plastered across your face.

you were the moon and he was the sun- it was a simple yet poetic description of their long, complicated rivalry. maybe if you were a bit more sober, you could come up with a less stereotypical comparison. but you were not sober, so the moon and sun it was.

you were his rival, but it was starting to feel like something more. the banter between you two was becoming more romantic, the tension more evident. or maybe it was all just in your head.

luke chuckled as you took another big swig from the bottle of wine, and for a moment, everything felt perfect.

it felt like everything you wanted for the past 4 years was finally happening.

you put down the bottle, looking out at the reflection of the moon twinkling on the lake as you took a deep breath in.

“do you ever see something and think ‘oh, that’s me’?” you asked, suddenly turning around to look at him.

luke was caught off guard by your sudden question, pursing his lips as he turned to look at you.

his brows faintly rose as he watched the moonlight gleam off of your eyes, hair, and lips. “what do you mean?” he asked softly. luke’s eyes darted to yours briefly, only to go back to looking at the moonlight as it hit the lake.

you looked back over at the moon, feeling a strange sense of comfort overcome your being.

“it’s like… i’m the moon. i am her,” you said.

“but i’m also the arctic fox, and the glow in the dark star stickers castor stuck on the roof of the dionysus cabin, and the tulips and the lily of the valley and- it’s like…” you mumbled, pressing your fingers against your lips as you let yourself get lost in thought.

“like i’m made of all these little things i see and feel close to.”

luke’s eyes burnt into yours as you spoke, taking in ever word you uttered. you would’ve forgotten he was even there if it weren’t for the sound of him breathing.

“and what am I?” he finally spoke, his voice soft as he leaned forward to look more closely at you. the moonlight casted a glow on your face as the breeze blew your hair away from your eyes. it felt so natural to be here with him, in the dark, with the moon.

you smiled at him coyly, your cheeks red and your vision a little warped from the alcohol. you took another swig, thinking over his question.

you passed him the bottle, your fingers grazing against his momentarily as you stared at his face intently.

“you’re the dandelions. you’re the orange slices, the quiet dog sitting by the window,” i said quietly, taking in his features.

“you’re the sun.”

he paused. it looked like he had just been punched in the gut, overwhelmed by the sudden sentiment.

luke looked away suddenly, blinking quickly as his jaw clenched tight. he took one deep breath, and turned to look at you again.

“that’s bullshit, and you know it,” he snorted. it seemed like the alcohol had made him a little too confident. you furrowed you brows in response, crossing his arms as you waited for an explanation.

how could he not look in the mirror and be blinded by the sight of himself?

“look at me. i’m no sun. i’ve got all these scars and bruises all over me, i’m too destructive.”

he rolled his eyes, looking down at the grass defeatedly.

you shrugged your shoulders, taking another swig of the bottle.

“yeah, but you’re the sun,” you repeat blankly, a soft smile still on your face.

“you’re the sun; scars and all. too hot too touch, too bright to ignore.”

luke froze at your words.

he shifted uncomfortably as he felt his hands shake. your eyes took in his stressed appearance, feeling a little embarrassed at your sudden outburst of praise.

luke was embarrassed by how much his body was betraying him. for the first time in his life, he didn’t want to say whatever witty response would get under your skin. he was completely at a loss for words- and you could tell.

but either way, you decided to play nice.

you paused, staying completely silent. suddenly, you started giggling, shaking your head awkwardly in an effort to make him feel less uncomfortable.

“sorry about that. i just realised how stupid that sounded,” you chuckled, looking back over at the moon.

luke looked a mess. his cheeks burned red, and his heart pounded faster and faster.

“shut up,” he growled. “you’re going to make me act weird.”

you turned your head away from the moon to look back over at him, your eyes narrowing in confusion.

“huh?” you furrowed your brows, taking the last sip from the bottle.

“you already act weird,” you teased, gently pushing his shoulder playfully.

you playful push and the feel of you touching him suddenly made any rational thoughts of his go completely out the window.

“okay, but this is different,” he grumbled, leaning his back against the cold earth and closing his eyes, his breath even and steady. “you’re making this weird.”

you pouted, laying down on the ground next to him. your head was inches away from his, your hair grazing his face as it messily fell over the grass.

his face turned towards yours as you stared up at the stars, thinking over his statement.

“how?” you asked, your speech a little slurred.

“just…” he sighed, looking up at the sky. “it’s not that complicated. i’m your rival. we’re not meant to be…like this.”

luke paused, looking back over at you for a second. he thought you looked so pretty with the moonlight casting beams of light on your face. he could’ve looked at you like this for hours.

you rolled your eyes, staring up at the sky.

“are we even rivals anymore?” you asked, resting your hands on top of your tummy.

“i mean, we used to be when we we like… 15. but we’re 18 now, and things are definitely different. less hostile,” you said, breathing quietly.

“fine, we’re not as vicious as we used to be. but it’s still a rivalry. you’re too competitive.”

you stayed quiet, processing his words.

he was right. you were too competitive.

that’s why it would never work between you and him- but it was also why it did work.

your stubbornness and his attitude fuelled the ongoing rivalry between you two for years, the only thing that ever weakened the conflict was time.

time wore you two down as you matured, replacing foul insults with witty comebacks and substituting sarcastic compliments with genuine praise.

but it was still a rivalry.

he leaned towards you suddenly, opting to change the subject with a teasing comment. he lightly tapped your forehead. “you’re drunk.”

you giggled, rolling your eyes as you playfully pushed his hand away.

“no, you’re drunk- look!” you abruptly cut yourself off, gasping at the sky.

“it’s the little dipper,” you exclaimed breathily.

it had been years since you had seen the constellation; considering camp half-blood was only protected from new yorks monsters, and not new york’s light pollution.

luke glanced up at the sky, blinking as he saw the constellation.

“yeah,” he grinned as he looked back down at you. “i’m just surprised you can tell in this state of mind.”

luke chuckled as he looked into your eyes. they had a dull shine to them- they looked tired. his lips twitched into a playful smirk as you shrugged your shoulders.

you smiled softly as you turned your head to look at him- a few stray pieces of grass in your hair.

“maybe it’s ’cause when i drink i get all observant and shit,” you said simply.

your eyes darted over to scar on the right side of his face. it had been there for years, but you never seemed to get tired of looking at it.

it was like a river- or a permanent teardrop stain. and it was gorgeous.

luke watched you with a smug grin as you stared at his scar, noticing how much you seemed to adore the sight.

“yeah,” he smirked. “you get so observant that you start talking about me being like the sun.”

you rolled your eyes, letting out a dry breath as you looked into his eyes.

“you’re not like the sun, you are the sun.”

you slowly reached your hand out to touch his scar, your thumb tracing over the shape as your lips slightly parted.

you definitely would’ve never done something like this sober.

he didn’t fight against the warm gesture, his cheeks turning red as his brown eyes widened at the sensation. your touch was soft, and his skin was so smooth.

maybe he loved you back? maybe all that sacrifice and competition wasn’t for nothing?

the desire to come clean was suffocating you. you needed to say it- he needed to know.

you cupped his face in your hands, the alcohol putting you in a trance.

‘sober me is gonna really regret inviting luke to drink with her.’

you continued rubbing your thumb over his scar, looking into his eyes.

“luke,” you whispered, getting lost in his features as you laid still on the grass.

“i’ve loved you since we were 15.”

he was dumbfounded by her sudden confession. your heart continued pounding so loudly that you could no longer hear the quiet sound of his own heartbeat.

“… you don’t have to say anything,” you said softly, continuing to stare into his eyes.

“but i just wanted you to know.”

you slowly retracted your hand from his cheek, turning over to lay on your back again and stare at the stars.

luke stared at you blankly, his lips parted in shock as he realised what you said.

the silence was killing you, forcing you to come to terms with the reality of the situation.

he was quiet for a reason, wasn’t he?

“you don’t love me,” he said softly. “you’re drunk.”

you shook your head, your eyes fluttering closed as a soft smile emerged from your features.

“no, i do love you,” you whispered, reaffirming the drunken confession.

his hands gripped his arms tightly, trying not to let you see how much your words were shaking him up.

“if you love me so much, then why do you constantly challenge and compete with me?”

you shrugged your shoulders at his question, opening your eyes and looking back over at him.

“it’s the only was i can get your attention, i guess.”

you and luke had always competed with each other- it was no wonder the competitiveness evolved into a rivalry. you just wanted his attention, and he wanted yours. you both wanted to so desperately be seen by the other, and neither of you would admit it.

a deep sigh left his lips as he thought, closing his eyes to try and make sense of things.

“well, you’ve got my attention now,” he murmured.

you laughed dryly at his comment.

“yeah. i do,” you sighed, your chest rising and falling with each slow breath you took.

‘he doesn’t love you, idiot! why’d you have to say that? now he’s not gonna give you any attention, because it’s gonna be awkward!’

“anyways,” you mumbled, looking back up at the sky. he pursed his lips as he watched you, furrowing his brows at the sight of his rival all defeated and wistful.

“why won’t you look at me?” luke’s voice was soft, pleading; begging you to see him.

you sighed, continuing to stare up at the sky defiantly.

“i already know what you look like. spent so long staring at your face, i don’t need to look at you,” you explained breathily, letting your head sink further back against the grass.

“… and i don’t think i want to see how you look right now. i’d like to imagine you all happy instead.”

his eyes widened and his jaw unclenched at her words. you were content with staring at the stars, not even acknowledging what he said.

“please, look at me. look at me when you speak to me.”

his words were firm, but emphatic enough to cause you to give in.

you rolled your eyes, letting out a quiet sigh before turning to face him.

“i’m looking.”

luke stared into your eyes, his body frozen as he watched your breath rise and fall. it seemed like he had no clue what to say.

you sighed, your eyes gazing over at his features.

seconds passed that felt like hours, your thoughts racing as you lost yourself in his pretty eyes.

‘you’ve fucked it. it’s ruined. it’s done!’

‘gods, i’m never drinking again. sorry dad.’

you suddenly closed your eyes, letting your hands cover your face as you turned on your side- bringing your legs up to your chest as you let your hair protect yourself from everything that was going on.

you suddenly let out a quiet sniffle, muffled by the way you were hiding yourself in your limbs.

luke’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion at the sight, his thoughts blanking as he heard you… crying?

he had never seen you cry before, unless you were acting with the apollo kids, or trying to garner sympathy, or foolishly trying to make your dad feel bad for yelling at you for sneaking out.

your palms became a little wet as you cried softly, trying your best to fight back against your emotions.

“sorry, i don’t know why i’m crying,” you whispered.

“i don’t know what i expected either.”

you quickly wiped away your tears, looking back up at him. “pretend i didn’t say anything,” you said quietly, your voice hoarse.

you heard luke sit up and scoot over to you. suddenly, you felt him gently wipe his fingers under your eyes.

“your eyes are a little red,” he murmured, letting his fingers trail down your cheeks.

you groaned in response, your cheeks turning red as he wiped away your tears.

“obviously,” you sighed, choking back more tears as you closed your eyes again.

your nose was red and damp, your eyes bloodshot. your breaths were short and sharp as you continued fighting your feelings. but it was a loosing battle.

luke let his fingers trail your jaw, then your neck. this only caused your to cry harder, the feeling of his fingers against your skin only reminding you of what you do desperately want but can’t have.

“luke…” you whimpered, opening your eyes to look back up at him.

“shh…calm down,” he said softly, his fingers beginning to trail her lips. luke’s breathing became erratic as he leaned in, closing his eyes and grazing his lips against yours.

he suddenly pressed his lips forcefully against yours, his arms wrapped around you as he held you close against his chest. your back lifted off the grass, willingly leaning your chest against his as you kissed him back.

you could hear the sound of his breath picking up as he deepened the kiss.

you brought your hand up to cradle the back of his neck, holding a handful of his hair between your fingers.

your fingers twisted into your hair, his mouth becoming more demanding with love and need and longing, and everything else he’d felt towards you.

your other hand reached up to caress his scar, running your thumb over the permanent imperfection.

but it wasn’t imperfect; it was beautiful.

your breathing slowed down as your tears became silent, your body melting into his as the kiss continued.

he slowly dragged his lips away from yours, kissing the side of your neck as he held his hands against your back to keep your torso upright.

you sniffled as he kissed your neck, your arm wrapping around him as you held him close.

he finally pulled away, taking a deep breath and looking at your flushed features. you were still holding onto him tightly, your arm wrapped around his shoulders.

your eyes were still closed as a tear slid down your cheeks. luke wiped it away gently, causing you to slowly open your eyes again.

“luke,” you whispered, your eyes silently pleading with him as your pupils dilated.

“please, luke. i need to hear you say it.”

luke paused, letting the request linger in the air for a bit. his breath hitched as he looked into your red and wet eyes, his thumb gently tracing your cheek.

"say what?" he whispered, their eyes locked as they sat there in the grass. he was shaking, and you could tell.

“tell me you love me too. even if it’s a lie,” you whispered, gently running your hand through his hair as you looked into his eyes.

his lips touched yours again, quickly kissing you before slowly pulling away.

“I need you. I will always need you,” luke said- but it wasn’t what you wanted to hear.

your breath hitched, your eyes threatening to cause a flood.

“… but do you *love* me?” you asked, your lips slightly parted as you searched for any sign of affection or love within his deep brown eyes.

his breath came out of his lungs harshly as his eyes widened. he stayed silent for a moment as he looked at you.

“yes,” he whispered. “i do.”

“say it,” you demanded, sniffling as you rested your forehead against his.

“say it. say it, please,” you begged him, your hands clinging to his shirt in a desperate attempt to convince him to love you back. “say that you love me- all of it.”

he smiled softly before leaning in towards you, the action of you pulling on hos shirt revealing his collarbones.

“i love you. i love you, i love you, i love you.”

luke’s hands gently gripped your waist as he spoke, his eyes locked with yours.

you turned red, your breathy shaky as you pulled him in for an urgent kiss. you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him even closer than before.

‘jesus christ, if my dad saw me now…’

actually, he might be proud. dionysus is the god of wine, insanity and fertility first and foremost. and hes my dad more than he is the camp director.

luke kissed you back, pressing his body against yours and letting his hands slide to grasp onto your hips.

you ran your hand through his hair, your fingers racing circles into his neck as you kissed him frantically.

your lips were probably swollen at this point, and you didn’t mind paying the consequences for having luke be so close to you.

luke’s hands glided up your body, his fingers grazing over your skin. his hand went to hold your back, pulling you even tighter against him.

he kissed you harder, more intensely, his mouth devouring yours.

you could hear his breath hitch with every kiss.

you moaned softly into the mouth, your limbs tangling as you searched for more. more of the feeling of his body against yours, more of the warmth of his hands against your skin. more, more, more.

you continued kissing him for what felt like hours, before slowly pulling away- now a panting mess with red cheeks and swollen lips. you stared into his eyes, your lips slightly parted in shock.

and he did that to you. he stared down at your lips, almost as if he felt proud of what he had done.

your swollen and red lips were like a trophy. you had won- he loves you.

luke licked his lips, savouring the taste of you before speaking. “gods, your lips are red,” he said, kissing your cheeks.

you laughed nervously, overly flustered by how softly he was kissing your cheeks.

“shut up, so are yours,” you retorted, wiping your mouth- but the red was imprinted upon your lips and it most definitely was not coming off anytime soon.

luke couldn’t help but find himself laughing at your mannerisms. the way you nervously wiped your lips as if the redness would come off with a single swipe of your fingers.

you sat in silence for a moment, simply staring into his eyes with a bashful smile. you had him. he had you.

and he was so bright.

even when sitting under the dark night sky, the sun was shining- burning your skin. and you were basking in it.

you’d let yourself get their degree burns if it meant you got to feel the sun against your skin.

we need to start bullying jk rowling for her new profile picture because like

strangers

regulus black and remus lupin engage in some polite banter

1976, 2:45 AM

astronomy tower

as the end of the school year started approaching, regulus black began noticing the many changes happening at hogwarts.

for starters, the days lasted much longer than he liked, the sky only starting to darken around 6:30 PM.

the air became very wet as well- not warm, but not cold either. the clouds seemed to trap the warmth of the sun, composing the constantly humid weather that graced the school grounds.

finally, the people that he surrounded himself with began getting restless. constantly giddy and overexcited for summer, every conversation turned into plans to hang out over the school holidays.

“reg! you should come visit me and my family paris!” said rosier, who was sitting comfortably on a dark green couch in the slytherin common room. his limbs were lazily dangling off the side as his head rested on the worn down cushions.

regulus looked up from his textbook, meeting evan’s excited gaze.

“i’ll have to ask my mother,”

“why are you reading a potions textbook? let alone one from last year?” dorcas asked, her dress shoes tapping on the hardwood floor as she enters the room. she wore a dark red blouse with long, flowing sleeves and denim pants that flared out by her ankles.

regulus looked her up and down, one brow raised higher than the other as he leaned back in his chair.

“and why are you dressed like that?” he retorted. dorcas smiled, moving her arms rhythmically as her sleeves flowed around her.

“pandora and i are going to see a band,” dorcas shrugged, sitting down next to evan. he tilted his head backwards to meet dorcas’s eyes.

“why wasn’t i invited?” evan pouted, sitting up defensively. dorcas rolled her eyes, crossing one leg over the other.

“girls only.” she replied bluntly, ruffling evan’s bleach blonde hair.

by 12:00 pm, all of regulus’s friends had gone off to attend to their lousy attempts at rebellion or recreation. barty crouch jr was fooling around with a quirky little hufflepuff, evan rosier was getting stoned with a strange selection of people- all different ages and houses, and dorcas had taken pandora to a bar to watch a fleetwood mac cover band.

regulus would’ve rather taken a stroll over to the whomping willow than join in on any of their little endeavours (especially barty’s, obviously), so he decided to spend the afternoon alone again.

regulus black had began spending his nights in the astronomy tower at the beginning of his third year. he barley had any real friends, nor did he make any effort to gain some. despite his lack of initiative to form relationships, it seemed like one had whimsically fallen into his hands.

little 14-year-old regulus was annoyed at first when his older brother’s friend began coming up to the astronomy tower to chainsmoke and read shitty classic novels. remus lupin had the type of quiet energy that demanded solitude. he didn’t tell regulus to ‘go away’ but he sure heard it.

after 2 more nights of remus disturbing his peace, regulus spoke up.

“are there no other places on campus you can loiter around in?”

those few words turned into a few hundred, which turned into a 2-hour long conversation about the ethics of hogwarts as an institution. the conversation turned into a discussion, which turned into yawning and parting ways for the night, only to continue the very next day at the same time and place.

after a few weeks, remus stopped coming. regulus wondered why, but they had never talked about anything personal with one another. regulus didn’t know if he wanted to talk about personal matters with someone seemingly so close to his brother.

a month later, remus returned. this time, regulus didn’t hesitate to ask why he was back. why he wasn’t running around with those clowns he called friends. and remus answered.

“do you ever feel like there’s a weird distance between you and everyone else? and like, you don’t actually want it to be there, but you keep on like… making that distance?” remus asked, his voice tired, but his words fast.

regulus paused. “yeah.”

regulus was now 15 years old. the people that called him a friend were out partying, sleeping around, enjoying themselves- and here he was. back up in the astronomy tower for the first time in months.

he was sitting in a quiet corner, smoking on a cigarette he had stolen from the pocket of evan’s discarded puffer jacket. he flipped through the pages of his old potions textbook as the sound of footsteps echoed from the staircase.

“why are you reading a potions textbook from third year?” asked a husky voice, seemingly coming from the other side of the room.

regulus looked up, only to find a taller version of the boy he once knew. he walked over slowly, a newly formed limp stunting his pace. he was somehow even skinnier and much more pale despite the warmth of the early summer sun.

“just revising.” regulus replied bluntly. remus sat down next to him, leaning against the wall sloppily.

a few moments of silence passed, before regulus decided to speak up.

“we haven’t talked since april.” he stated. his voice was cold, but somewhat inquisitive. remus nodded, offering an affirmative smile.

“i’ve had less trouble sleeping, i suppose,”

remus pulled out a small metal box from his pant pocket. the act of opening it released a soft stench of tobacco and weed. he took out two cigarettes, before closing the tin and setting it down next to him.

regulus put out his first cigarette, taking the one remus had just offered him. after lighting both with his wand, remus took a inhale.

“your brother is a dickhead.” remus stated, letting the smoke exit his lungs.

“yeah, no shit,”

“i’m serious. he’s a full cunt.”

regulus looked at remus, his eyes curious, but his mouth too stubborn to give into his desire to know more.

remus turned around to face regulus as he noticed the look of intrigue in the younger boy’s eyes.

“did i ever tell you what happened on my birthday?” remus asked. regulus shook his head, letting copious amounts of smoke exit his mouth as he debated his response.

“no, you didn’t.”

remus looked down, smiling softly to himself. it wasn’t a smile full of fondness, but a smile that seemed to lovingly scold his past actions and feelings.

“i’m gay.” he said, slowly bringing his head up to look at regulus again. he rested the left side of his body against the wall as he waited for regulus to say something.

regulus’s voice was monotone, as if he didn’t really care rather than mind. it was apathetic, yet understanding. “okay,” he started.

“what does that have to do with your 16th birthday?”

remus took one last hit of his cigarette before putting it out on the wall.

“your brother kissed me.” he said bluntly. regulus nodded, urging him to continue.

“i had a thing for him, i guess. still do. but after that kiss, it all went back to normal, except it didn’t?”

remus rolled his eyes. “he was still constantly fooling around with random girls, but at the end of the day, he would come back to me.”

regulus was confused to say the least.

“for months we’ve been fucking around, pretending like everything’s normal- but i can’t help but feel so fucking angry at him.” remus said, his voice mellow.

“he’s very easy to be angry at.” regulus let out a dry laugh, putting out his cigarette and stuffing the bud in the corner of the wall.

“sirius- my brother, i mean…” regulus corrected himself. refusing to say sirius or james’ names seemed to be a strange expression of respect to each other- a promise of secrecy.

“my brother has a nasty habit of ignoring people like that. we would play card games with each other after he took beatings from my mother. you know, to get our minds off it.” regulus explained, looking to the side of the room as he spoke.

“but as we grew up, he got much colder. i’ve talked to him maybe three times this year. he acts like he doesn’t know who i am.”

remus listened intently, nodding in understanding.

“it’s funny- at family gatherings we still stick together. joke about our cousins while we hide in his room. but as soon as we come back to school, he sees me as nothing. another black family member to watch out for.”

regulus scoffed quietly, turning back to remus.

“i wish he knew you the way i do” remus said casually, lighting up another cigarette. “this would be much easier for the both of you.”

‘i wish he knew you the way i do’

those words lingered in regulus’ mind for a while. did remus know him? of course he did- but he didn’t see him- not the way sirius once did. he didn’t experience regulus- he didn’t talk to him outside of the astronomy tower.

but nonetheless, they were much closer than either of them had liked.

remus paused.

“you know he still loves you, right?” remus asked, looking into his eyes, only to meet an unnerving stare. unwavering in its coldness; its refusal to blink.

“of course he loves me. he’s my brother. but i don’t like it’s the type of love most people are familiar with,” regulus said.

remus tilted his head to the side. “how so?” he asked.

“you know how you love someone because you have to? like, you have to love your parents, even if they’re terrible.”

remus shook his head. “don’t have ‘em” he laughed pitifully. regulus smiled- a rare occurrence. “okay, okay- like… your caregiver?” he asked.

only then did remus nod in understanding. he thought of the coordinator at his boys home. she was an arse, but he still would visit her in the hospital if she got hit by a bus.

“i don’t love my brother like that. i don’t love him because he’s my brother and i have to. but, i also don’t love him as a person? like how you love the red head and her two little friends.”

remus pursed his lips. “so you just love him? not out of obligation or fondness, just cause?” he asked.

“not ‘just cause’. it’s involuntary, yet careful.”

regulus looked at remus, trying to gouge a sense of understanding from the other boy. a sense of understanding in which he received.

“i know exactly what you mean.”

two weeks passed and hogwarts was now empty. remus was couch surfing around wales with a few drug addicts and university burnouts, sneaking into bars and reading in messy rooms while his friends light up in front of him. he didn’t care though, as long as he wasn’t in the boy’s home.

regulus was wasting away his summer at his family home. his spare time was spent in front of his bedroom mirror, practicing polite smiles and agreeable gestures for the endless amount of dinner parties he was forced to attend.

regulus would hear yelling from down the hall as he stared at the mirror, forcing eye contact with himself.

he imagined himself as the voice from the hall, proud and stubborn. and as he looked in the mirror, he saw it.

he saw her.

when his brother knocked on his door in the middle of the night he was half asleep. he got up slowly and carefully. but when regulus finally mustered up the courage to open the door, there was nobody there.

regulus wondered if remus would understand what it was like to live so carefully. he sure didn’t act like it- running a muck around the school and such. but he would know better than to get up for a ghost, wouldn’t he?

or at least, he hoped he would.

it wasn’t until around october of that year that regulus talked to remus again. when regulus came to the astronomy tower for the first time since that night before summer break, remus had changed.

remus now knew what it was like to be more than ignored by sirius. he had been destroyed by him.

a/n: LOL i got like 4 reposts and a comment on that moonwater post and i felt like i JUST HAD to write u guys sumn. i haven’t proofread it bc i can’t be bothered, but i’m sure it’s somewhat comprehensible lol.

anyways!! i really hope i did the characters justice!! i might do another 2 parts for their talk abt the prank and christmas 1976 and for their first few meetings in regulus’s third year ^_^

also sorry if the timeline is messed up, i’m on the beginning of my third re-read and the last time i finished it was in march lol

have a merry christmas !!!

MORE MORE MORE MKRE

tweets with pjo characters (ii.)

content summary: implied luke x reader once again... swearing! percabeth once again! <3 reader goes by she/her prns, reader and clarisse are lowkey a thing on the side LMFAO

part one

my favourite gay people 😗

i love them sm

inspired by the cigarette scenes from all the young dudes

oh my god. there’s 702 of you guys.

that’s insane. that’s like… 17k in instagram followers. im basically famous. they’re gonna invite me to the pjo s2 premiere. should we throw a party? should we invite bella hadid?

slash j guys I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUUUU IM SO FR RN . i have a parasocial relationship with all of you guys mwa mwa kisses xx

I LITERALLY JUST LET OUT THE LOUDEST LAUGH EVER WHATTTT

Luke Castellan Smut

Well that's quite straightforward isn't it

i hate it when i look at my screen time and it’s 5 hours on tumblr. what is this?? 2012???