They're So Precious To Me

obsessed with post first war wolfstar and remus. need a long fic detailing prisoner of azkaban from remus' pov. need remus haunted by his friends' ghosts, sirius' escape and break ins, the months of agonising, FINALLY reuniting with sirius. this is where the money is people.

i’m reading choices by messermoon right now and i know the ending is going to be unbelievably painful, heck, it already hurts so much right now and i’m only halfway through. but there’s absolutely no way i will stop. i just love the marauders too much. and i just love james and regulus too much. what they have is so fucking beautiful and special. their love for each other is bigger than life. i think that’s why it aches. every scene where they’re with each other, where they’re just happy, sharing a memory and a kiss, makes my chest ache because i know it will end and once it does, it will tear me apart

i miss them so much it aches like a physical space in my chest god

James turns his head, nose brushing against Regulus’s temple. “You will always belong with me Reg. Always.”

-Choices

i fear im so deep into escapism i've forgotten how to live my own life. it all just feels lacklustre in comparison.

One of my favourite things about Choices is how thoroughly interwoven jily and jegulus are. they're always present like a lingering shadow but I wish we had seen more of the time inbetween the end of jegulus and the start of Jily. The guilt James must have felt at moving on, despite everything that went down between him and Regulus. the fact that it was with LILY, who regulus always felt insecure about. And when I think about it too much my heart aches.

Because it was truly so insane. Like I think it hit him so hard. because he loved regulus, truly loved him. Regulus had him, unconditionally, with no strings or games, all of him. and all james wanted was for him to love him back more than he hated himself. more than he was scared. to try another path. to not give up. and he had SO much hope for them, that they would work. And in those moments with Regulus he just felt so full and so happy and then Regulus was gone and left this humongous hole in his life and the only person that can fill it is the very person Regulus was always scared was really meant for james.

the fact that sirius never fucking knew. never found out is so painful. no one else in that house cared enough to do anything about it, but sirius would have. he would've done everything in his power to keep reg safe, he genuinely believes he DID do everything to keep reg safe while he was there. their relationship deteriorated right as reg started needing him most and sirius started believing he didn't need him at all.

choices lucius malfoy is my biggest enemy

canon sirius this canon sirius that canon sirius knew a man who canonically cross-dressed (even if for convenience) & did not bully him, did not mistreat him, did not approach the subject with malice or negativity. canon sirius said, verbatim, "if you want to know what a man's like, take a look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." canon sirius asked remus for forgiveness for not believing in the best of him. canon sirius instantly, without hesitation, forgave remus for believing in the worst of him. canon sirius expressed sympathy for barty crouch jr in regards to his father's neglect and entertained the possibility that barty may have been "in the wrong place at the wrong time" when discussing his crime. canon sirius, when he thought he would be a free man, immediately offered his godson a home and a place with him, even without being aware of the neglect his godson faced, even before he had a home to offer, and he did so by prefacing that he would understand if his godson didn't want to, making it clear he would not try to force him. canon sirius could be cruel, and insensitive, and vengeful, and obstinate—but that's not all he was. canon sirius could also be compassionate and sympathetic and forgiving and accepting. canon sirius was complex, and it goes both ways, in the direction of his faults as well as his virtues. btw.

GUILTY

hardest part of watching arcane for me is having to admit that heimerdinger was right. For all his flaws he predicted exactly what the hexcore and magic would end up doing to their society. His issue was that for all the wisdom his experience and aged lent him, it robbed him of empathy for humans. Yes he cared, but he failed to understand the human desire for progress, that we don't have hundreds of years to sit around and test things and he conveyed just how little he empathised in every conversation. But ultimately he really was right and it's a bitter pill to swallow.

fuck that damn bridge he lost everything there 😭😭😭 i cant even imagine how he felt finding jinx in the same spot he found her mother ohmygod

Silco | Death on the bridge