Canon Sirius This Canon Sirius That Canon Sirius Knew A Man Who Canonically Cross-dressed (even If For

i’m reading choices by messermoon right now and i know the ending is going to be unbelievably painful, heck, it already hurts so much right now and i’m only halfway through. but there’s absolutely no way i will stop. i just love the marauders too much. and i just love james and regulus too much. what they have is so fucking beautiful and special. their love for each other is bigger than life. i think that’s why it aches. every scene where they’re with each other, where they’re just happy, sharing a memory and a kiss, makes my chest ache because i know it will end and once it does, it will tear me apart

i think one of the most devastating parts of choices for me was all the things that were left unsaid between all of them. all the words they chose to swallow and never say. james and sirius never really processed or talked about how he was in love with regulus, what he saw in him, never learned the full truth of how much it hurt sirius. even close to the end of the story, when reg visits sirius' dreams it's clear he's not over it. that they just brushed it away and then reg dies and you can tell that he really doesn't have a clue just how much this destroys james.

the same for sirius and reg. they never hash it out, they never fully understand the depths of which they care about each other because they never let themselves really talk about it. they both echo this sentiment, saying they thought they'd have more time. more time to say all thats unsaid, that sirius DID write those letters, regulus DID love sirius, that they both felt abandoned by each other but loved each other so much. it's just so tragic to me.

me reading choices, knowing it's canon compliant, reading regulus believe him and james' love is doomed:

NOOOOO BABY YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY ITS GONNA WORK OUT STOP IT STOP 😭😭😭😭 YOU'RE NOT DOOMED YOU'RE NOT 😭😭😭

in my head sirius and regulus are zuko and azula in another universe. The heirs of a kingdom, the familial expectations, groomed from a young age by their families, seperated by those expectations. Sirius being the "different" outcasted one, regulus being the "prodigy" who couldn't unlearn the family's ways. zuko's exile (leaving home at 16), azula's crashout when the life she wanted isn't what it seemed (sets the stage for regulus' betrayal). Zuko joining team avatar AKA sirius finding the marauders. Yup.

definitely don't read it and protect your peace. i absolutely loved choices and it makes sense that in a canon compliant world he somehow has to be able to move on from regulus. but ohmygod. the love they had was so magical and beautiful and seamless and then it crashed and then boom hes with lily. AND ITS ALL WRITTEN SO WELL THAT LIKE. THE WRITING WAS ON THE WALL BUT U ARE STILL FLABBERGASTED. I was clawing at my chest praying for death to just take me honestly.

One of my favourite things about Choices is how thoroughly interwoven jily and jegulus are. they're always present like a lingering shadow but I wish we had seen more of the time inbetween the end of jegulus and the start of Jily. The guilt James must have felt at moving on, despite everything that went down between him and Regulus. the fact that it was with LILY, who regulus always felt insecure about. And when I think about it too much my heart aches.

Because it was truly so insane. Like I think it hit him so hard. because he loved regulus, truly loved him. Regulus had him, unconditionally, with no strings or games, all of him. and all james wanted was for him to love him back more than he hated himself. more than he was scared. to try another path. to not give up. and he had SO much hope for them, that they would work. And in those moments with Regulus he just felt so full and so happy and then Regulus was gone and left this humongous hole in his life and the only person that can fill it is the very person Regulus was always scared was really meant for james.

christmas season at the wolfstar flat

his mother's fears coming true oh just let me end it all god

james telling remus they will always have his back and he will never be alone and after everything happens it’s remus of all people who ends up all alone, with best friends dead and a soulmate to blame. fuck. that hurt. 

“All the reminders of the boy he couldn’t save” I think it’d actually be less painful if someone just stabbed me in the chest

YOU'RE NOT. I LOVE U TOO. he literally made me so makes me so mad holy shit. Both in choices AND i'm canon they let him get away with too fucking much just cause he was the "leader" of the good side

If I could fist fight Dumbledore right now I’d do it