I Am Making A Post! I’ve Been Lurking On This Hellsite On And Off For Literal Years Now! And Sometimes

Ok so this is a bit of a crack theory, I don’t actually believe it, but it’s funny so I’m posting it anyway.

Hazbin Hotel. Alastor does not show any parental bond towards Charlie until episode 5, when Lucifer shows up. Alastor quickly deduces that Lucifer’s lackluster parenting skills is a weak point, and thus makes himself, someone Lucifer had previously dismissed as beneath him, out to be a more capable father figure.

That itself is not the theory, just the setup so we’re all on the same page. So. What if Charlie saw right through Alastor’s plan to one up her actual dad, and, fed up with Lucifer’s past behavior herself (we see earlier in the episode that she is the one who is reluctant to call Lucifer), she, hear me out, PURPOSEFULLY GOES ALONG WITH IT.

Like, she sees that Alastor doesn’t actually view her as a daughter and is just saying so to get under Lucifer’s skin, but instead of calling him out she plays along! And that’s exactly what happens in Hell’s Greatest Dad, Charlie is very much on board Alastor’s side of the song, agreeing at every opportunity, while with Lucifer she is just… lost, confused. Occasionally awed, but she never really joins in on his part.

Of course, unlike Alastor, Charlie actually has a more benign reason to be tricking her dad. She wants him to see sinners as people, and what better way to do that than to show how one of the worst sinners has helped her? And later in the episode, Alastor is the actual reason Lucifer changes his views and agrees to help Charlie with her dream! I’m too lazy to get the actual quotes, it it went something like this:

Alastor: in the background, giant, terrorizing the loan sharks

Lucifer: “This is why you can’t trust sinners, they always end up destroying everything.”

Charlie: “His method’s are a little… extreme. But he’s doing it to protect the hotel!”

Lucifer: “Uh huh. Isn’t he the reason you’re being attacked in the first place?”

Charlie: “At least he’s actually been here! How come he believes in me and you don’t.”

Lucifer: (thinking) Oh crap oh fuck

Something like that lol. Again don’t feel like finding the actual quotes. But yeah even if Alastor’s showboating about being a better father were exaggerated, the fact that he presented himself as a better father is the silver bullet Charlie needed to change Lucifer’s point of view, or at least give him a wake up call.

To reiterate, the “crack theory” part of this is just that Charlie purposefully went along with Al’s embellished motivations during Hell’s Greatest Dad. Personally I think she was blinded by Alastor’s change of tone that her optimism made her actually believe what he was saying (I think Charlie and Lucifer were the only two actually fooled by Alastor, but they were the only two that mattered for that particular trick)

Everything else, like how Charlie used Alastor twisted version of help to convince her father to help her, is either canon or a more solid theory.

And:

Source

You know what I want to see in a future Hazbin season? Some sort of flashback during the height of Alastor’s reign (think around the time he won Husk’s soul), some sinner just newly manifests in Hell, sees Alastor, says “pfft he doesn’t look that tough,” and then EVERY OTHER DEMON IN THE AREA BREAKS OUT INTO SONG. About how you don’t mess with the Radio Demon. Personally I’m imagining something like “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” except darker.

So Alastor himself doesn’t even have to interact with this new demon everyone else is already so afraid of him they do the fear mongering for him! Even exaggerating some things! I know we already have 2 examples of people explaining Alastor’s lore and hyping him up (Vaggie in the pilot, Mimzy in episode 5) BUT WE DON’T HAVE IT IN SONG FORM!

Hazbin Hotel as a turn based RPG style game

A random thought experiment I think about from time to time, what if a turn based role playing game was made with the Hazbin cast? Warning this post gets kind of long and rambly.

A few ground rules:

1) All characters are given equal power level (so Lucifer is about as strong as Niffty). In game I feel like this would be explained by the crew getting transported to some alternate game world that equalized their capabilities.

2) I’m imagining that each battle would have up to 3 characters on your side of the field (possibly more on the enemy’s side idk). You would be able to choose which characters would fight, and having characters fight alongside each other would increase their relationship (more on that later)

3) There are 7 status conditions each tied to one of the 7 deadly sins. Certain characters are immune to certain statuses (Alastor would be immune to lust of course). Certain characters can benefit from being afflicted with a certain status (Lucifer with pride perhaps?) I’ll get in to my specific ideas for each one later.

4) For stats I’m defaulting to Pokémon’s HP Attack Special Attack Special Defense and Speed, but that could change. Might drop Specials. Might add something like Crit Chance or Accuracy. Not fully decided.

5) Some character have “pets” that fight alongside them giving small bonuses. Like Sir Pentious’s Egg Bois. These pets can be swapped with their teammates once they get a high enough level of friendship.

6) Speaking of friendship, so I’m thinking characters don’t actually level up in this, instead they gain friendship with other party members. Leveling up specific friendships give the stat bonuses normal level ups would have given. Additionally they will unlock moves based on the friendship, these moves will often synergize with the character the friendship was gained from.

7) This is a bit ambitious, but I’m thinking each pairing will have a romantic/platonic option. This would not affect stats in any way but instead affect the cutscenes that would play, both having specific one on one cutscenes for the characters and changing the language used for each other in regular cutscenes.

8) I’m thinking that each character gets a passive special ability or two that could be double edged. Often tying into the amount of HP they or their allies have left. More on that with each character.

9) This takes place after episode 5 but before the finale. So Lucifer is introduced, and Sir Pentious is still a demon. Undecided if it takes place before or after Vaggie is revealed to be an angel.

Ok so now for each character summery! This will just be a general overview of their role/capabilities. No specific stats or moves.

Charlie

A support/healer character, who gets scary powerful when she or her allies are low on health. At the start of the fight she mostly focuses on raising the stats of the entire team and healing HP/status conditions. But at the end of the fight, especially if she’s the last one standing, she can fight enemies herself with demonically powerful attacks.

Special ability: Raises Attack when she or her allies are at critical health.

Shared move example: Power of Self Love: heals status conditions and resets stats to self

Main stat shared: HP

Pet: Razzle and Dazzle

Vaggie

More balanced between offense and defense. Does not deal too much with changing stats or applying debuffs or status effects, just deals damage and takes damage well. Also has a counterattack that can be shared with high friendship. Like all characters, gaining skills from others helps round out her kit.

Special ability: Can counter incoming hits to allies she has high friendship with.

Shared move example: Counter: small automatic attack done to enemies that hit you

Main stat shared: Attack

Pet: Kee-Kee (since Charlie already has Razzle and Dazzle and doesn’t need 2 (well 3) pets.) I guess Kee-Kee could be Lucifer’s pet instead?

Angel Dust

Would spread statuses like Lust and Envy, and have multi hitting attacks that could target multiple enemies. Wouldn’t take hits as well as Charlie or Vaggie. Would have some redirection/distraction moves as well.

Special ability: Something to do with having multiple arms…

Shared move example: Showtime!: Redirects next oncoming attack to user

Main stat shared: Defense

Pet: Fat Nuggets!!!!

Alastor

Would be annoying to enemies: spreading statuses like Wrath, lowering stats, adding shadows to the field to distract enemies (sort of like substitutes that can deal damage). Would do extra damage to enemies suffering a status condition. Would have low HP and would loose abilities when at critical health (I imagine his cane breaking).

Special ability: Shadow Step: increases evasion the more shadows are on the field

Main stat shared: Defense

Example of shared move: Smile, Deer: gives chance of inflicting Wrath on enemies.

Pet: Shadow Poppets (his main shadow is too tied to him)

Niffty

DPS. Glass Cannon kind of character that can do huge damage but falls easily. Also has a “tidy up” type move that clears field hazards and raises the team’s speed.

Special ability: Raises attack when effected by a status condition

Shared move example: Channeling yourInner Bad Boy: raises Attack

Main stat shared: Speed

Pet: Roaches? Maybe not everyone gets a pet haha

Husk

Has a mixed role, with a lot of attacks having an element of luck to them. Would have a “stack the deck” type move that would bring make his moves more favorable. He would also have the ability to analyze combatants, being able to tell for example if Wrath would cause them to hit themselves next turn, or if Envy or Sloth will activate.

Special ability: Something to do with stack the deck or analyze?

Shared move example: Prioritize: Raises chance to hit selected opponent when afflicted by Wrath

Main shared stat: Attack

Pet: none (does booze count as a pet?)

Sir Pentious

Would be a very technical character, with powerful attacks and combos that require set up (building the machine, activating it, etc). Would also have some support options. I feel like he could take advantage of being affected by Envy.

Special ability: Commander: allies get a passive bonus to Speed and Accuracy

Shared move example: Endure: Will survive next round with at least one HP

Main shared stat: HP

Pet: Egg Bois

Cherri Bomb

Would have powerful ranged attacks that could hit multiple opponents and lower their stats. Might also have some timer bomb moves that go off in later turns. Could maybe benefit from statuses like Gluttony.

Special ability: Explosive: Something to do with bombs?

Shared move example: Let Loose: Being affected by Gluttony raises your attack and speed

Main shared stat: Attack

Pet: none

Lucifer

The final character I’m mapping out (thought about doing the Vees but we don’t know enough about them yet I feel). Would be the shapeshifter type character whose role could change depending on his form. Would definitely benefit from Pride, perhaps would have it by default? And could spread it of course. Probably have some abilities tying into being an angel and creator as well.

Special ability: Shapeshifter: can change forms at the start of his turn.

Shared move example: Something circus or duck themed would be funny

Main shared stat: Balanced (equal chance for all stats)

Pet: Kee-Kee or none (depending on if Vaggie gets her or not)

The Statuses/Sins

Pride: Cannot be healed.

Wrath: Confusion would be a good blueprint, would have the chance to attack allies or themselves.

Lust: Poison like in that damage is done at the end of each turn. *insert Angel Dust sex joke here*

Greed: Steals stat buffs, healing, etc from allies, and can’t heal or apply stat buffs to others. Buffs that help the whole team just apply to them. If multiple allies have greed, no stat buffs can be applied. Lowers friendship gained from allies.

Gluttony: Damage healed and damage taken is raised.

Envy: May copy an ally’s stat change (both raise or lowered), damage taken, or damage healed. Copying a stat change happens after greed’s effect.

Sloth: Sleep or drowsy like. Chance of not moving on your turn. Speed is also lowered. I guess it’s more like Pokémon’s paralysis now that I think about it.

Aaaand that’s about it. Running out of steam so I’m just going to post this. Will maybe make amendments and additions later.

Important announcement just happened I’m going to assume ya’ll have seen already. So going to point out a more minor thing: Alastor still doesn’t have his cane back! We don’t see him with it at the end is S1, and again he doesn’t have it here. Wonder if that will be a plot point? (No leak spoilers please)

This is amazing! I love the details of the specific type of flower! Since it is spring now (in the northern hemisphere at least) he matches the real world as well!

Thanks again for making this and for pulling extra winners so I could win ^w^

@nightfroststorm I've got your raffle piece

Also, small side note, the flowers on Alastor are supposed to be a species of begonia, which carries the symbolism to "beware" and "caution"

Sneak Peek at a (hopefully) Upcoming Hazbin Fanfic!

Trigger warnings for body horror, some non-sexual nudity (not in detail), and Alastor really not having a good time. More details after the scene.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alastor was completely naked, and yet there wasn’t much skin to see. Numerous wires wrapped around the stick thin demon, some were threaded directly into his skin, while others powered devices connected to him, including an ankle monitor, something latched to his chest, and an electronic visor covering the deer’s eyes. Then there were thick tubes, the largest of which were shoved into his mouth, his nose, and his posterior, carrying various fluids Charlie did not want to think about into and out of his body. Smaller tubes looked like they carried blood, though whether it was adding or subtracting from the demon’s own supply was unknown.

He was suspended in some sort of clear, gelatinous substance, partially curled up on himself and not moving at all. No flick of the ears or twitch of the hand. He didn’t even breathe. Charlie guessed that one of the tubes did that for him, and couldn’t decide if that made this whole… thing more or less horrifying. She decided on more.

And then there were the antlers.

Alastor’s antlers eclipsed the deer in size many times over, an ebony forest sprouting from a single seed, an insect infected with fungus. They rose out of the chamber and into the skyline, interlaced with the Vee tower’s own lights and wires and antenna until he was just a part of the infrastructure. Hiding in plain sight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So… this was a scene (probably the most important scene tbh) I wrote for a so far unnamed fanfic I’ve been pecking away at. I keep jumping between chapters, this was actually the first thing I made for it, and in my current draft it’s around chapter 9. Out of around 25, tho that is subject to change.

I want to get at least the first half finished before officially posting it, since there’s a pretty natural cutoff point around halfway thro, just in case I’m not able to make it thro the entire 25 chapter marathon (I am not good at longer works. Even if that’s what I prefer reading.)

As for what the fic is actually about, it starts out as a standard “Vox kidnaps Alastor after the failed Extermination” fic, and things… escalate. To the point where Vox uses Alastor as a living signal booster for his own purposes. Tho, if you noticed in the scene, it is thro Charlie’s perspective, so that condition isn’t permanent. But it will have dire ramifications for everyone involved.

So yeah, I hope some people are interested! I’ll be posting this to Ao3, and maybe Fanfic.net since I have an account from when I was in high school. Fanfic.net mostly dead from what I’ve seen, at least on the Hazbin side, but there are a couple of really good Hazbin fics I’ve found on there. That haven’t updated in forever, but still. Maybe I’ll make a reccomendation list sometime. Oh and I might post the fic on here too if that would be helpful to people.

No idea when/if this will come out, hopefully I’ll get back into writing it soon. Having the first chapter out before Season 2 drops would be good (not that I’ll complain if S2 comes out next week or something crazy lol)