Lockland Evervale Makes Me Go Crazy

One of my favorite moments from Vengeful that is not talked about enough.

(Vengeful page 494)

(This is inspired by this edit: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C1XWjrMNmdZ/?igsh=NnA3NWl4ampydzg2 )

for those of you who are having trouble putting down your phone but want to stop endlessly scrolling — try citizen science projects. almost 100% of remote projects are super easy to join and let you work at your own pace/set your own hours, and you can contribute to something meaningful and feel good about your screen time (plus most work can be done with some background music unless you’re doing audio work)

Fine art enthusiasts

Thanks to @felidaefighter for providing the screenshot of the painting here

The boy.

And this barely scratches the surface of what he’s been put through at the hand of not only antis but parasocial fans, ex friends, abusive ex partners, and just the internet at large. Will defend this man til the day I die, he deserves so much better.

This is going to be a long ask, I just wanted to share my feelings about Eli and how other show helped me understand his character better.

I honestly really felt for Eli, one of the major reasons I have such sympathy for him and why he ended up becoming my favorite character is because while I was reading the books I was watching an adult swim

Series called Moral Orel, it’s about a kid living on a very abusive and religious environment, I just developed such sympathy and respect for the main character Orel 1/6

hi Anon! I’m copy-pasting all your other asks here so I can answer them all together (and since the post is quite long):

2/8 That character just reminded me a lot of Eli or more like Eli reminded me of Orel, both boys grew on fundamentalist households, and their dads were physically abusive towards them wherever their fathers did something they deemed as “bad”, while their moms although they weren’t bad per-se they didn’t helped their sons, both Eli and Orel used their faith to get through those situations and both only wanted to do the right thing (they also both died and thought god was the one to bring them back)

3/8 But while one used their faith to justify their horrible actions under the false belief they were doing god’s work, the other was able to raise above the abuse thanks to the guidance of a few people and partly because of his own faith becoming a much better person in the process, this is silly because no one knows or talks about Moral Orel, but I found incredible how it’s main protagonist Orel Puppington helped me understand and sympathize with a character I wouldn’t have had liked otherwise (Eli ever)

4/8 it’s also funny because I have seen threads where few people talked about the show and one of the most interesting topics to discuss were the following quashing:

What would have happened or what kind of person could Orel have had become if he didn’t have the tiny support system that he had?

Orel had three very important persons in his life very much like Eli, who guided him towards the right path, one of them who was his grandfather which was supposed to die from illness, this also reminded me of how Eli lost his family.

5/8 Another interesting questions would be what would have happened if Ore had internalized all the indoctrination that was been fed to him side he was little? on the thread some answered the question by mentioning and theorizing that due the upbringing he had, Due the the toxic patterns he was exposed to and because of the religious zealotism he was raised in they could see him become something akin to a serial killer who killed because he thought he was “saving” the victims.

6/8 This made made me realize even more how similar this characters were, on personalities, upbringing and in relationships, now I headcanon that Eli is something like a bad end Au of what Orel could have had become on the worst possible scenario, thankfully this wasn’t the case and he was able to break the cycle of abuse that was going on his family, by being able to remain a good person and becoming a much better person, husband and father than his own father ever was, sadly the same cannot be said for Eli and there is something very tragic about this.

7/8 When I first read Vicious I didn’t like Eli, but boy my opinion on him changed completely after reading vengeful, it surprises me almost all of the fandom (a tiny one on that) seems to still hate him.

8/8 Now that you mention it, I hated Serena, it was mainly because she attempted to kill Sydney, and how she manipulated pepole, like something felt very personal about it and I just disliked her for it, I can kind of understand why (I mean Eli tried to kill her) but I also hated she basically raped him and no one bated an eye, only tv tropes seem to semi acknowledge what Serena did to Eli. but never outright says it just says that their relationship was mutually toxic.

I had never heard of this tv series (from what i’ve understood after a quick research it’s basically a US an adult stop-motion animated series), but I’m glad it helped empathize with Eli more, especially because from what you’re telling me these characters do share a lot of similarities. 

Eli is a character that I loved from basically page one, even before knowing his backstory, because Victor’s storytelling was so obviously biased that I just couldn’t help waiting for Eli’s point of view and voice in Vicious. So I never disliked him, he was my favorite character in Vicious and my attachment towards him became stronger and stronger throughout my reading of Vengeful (which made the ending just more painful :) ). I wouldn’t say that he uses religion to ‘justify’ his actions tho, more that his beliefs and trauma propel him to act the way he does (and the difference is slight, I recognize, but ‘justifying’ an action implies a process of rationalization ex post which I don’t think happens in Eli’s case, or at least it happens, but religion also plays its past ex ante [I hope my thought is clear but I’m afraid it might not read so lmao]).

The thing you said about support systems and what can happen to people when left alone is incredibly true and it’s something I think about a lot when looking at my favorite characters and characters in general, which is one of the main reasons why I so strongly resent the ‘heroes are better than the villains because they have loved ones’ (because it seems to idk punish certain people for the simple reason that they don’t have people who love them. which isn’t great, considering the implications). Of course you can write a compelling narrative with this trope you just have to be careful imho. But yeah I definitely agree with you that sometimes this can make a difference in a character’s development and growth.

I cannot say I ‘hate’ Serena, but I honestly don’t like her and I wouldn’t be able to properly explain the exact reasons why I don’t, but surely one of the mean reasons is what she did to Eli, which I agree isn’t talked abut nearly enough in the fandom. I agree that she raped him, because she used her power to make him want to sleep with her (which is rape, objectively speaking). The fandom is strange silent regarding this aspect but given the burning hatred everyone and their moms feels towards Eli (which is weird tbh, especially given how much everyone seems to love Victor and thinks him as a better person than Eli when they are at the very least equally awful) it is not surprising. I have endless bones to pick with Eli’s treatment by the fandom and this is just one of them (along with almost everyone calling him a psychopath when... he really isn’t?)

These asks were really interesting! If you want to chat more I’m here, I hope you have a nice day!

Have a silly plotbunny, because I'm too lazy to actually write this fic

A joongdok au where the hounds kill yjh and he regresses again. Except this time kdj is right there, yjh refuses to let him go and acts like an aggressive mother hen.

Everyone assumes joongdok are exes when yjh very emotionally accuses kdj of leaving him, jumping on the train and disappearing without a trace. Meanwhile, kdj is having an internal meltdown because he apparently somehow seduced the protagonist in the previous regression, what the fuck?

ysa: Wait, so when you said you have plans at seven and left work early...

kdj: Well, yeah. I was secretly meeting him (in a sense that kdj was reading a book about yjh).

ysa: Oh. That makes sense. Can't blame you.

yjh staring cheong inho right in the eyes and saying, dead serious: If something happens to this idiot while I'm away, I'll kill everyone in this station and then myself.

ysa: I can see why Dokja-ssi broke up with this guy. He's... intense (read: a walking talking red flag).

kdj actually kisses yjh for the first time when yjh finds him after the broken throne and helps him deal with the former bullies. Because it was something straight out of teenage!kdj's daydreams.

After joongdok meet kdj's mom and face her disapproval, legend spreads that joongdok broke up in the past because of lsk being homophobic. lsk is not amused. Uriel personally contacts lsk to tell her that god is not against lgbtq, actually.

Re: the plot. Secretive Plotter isn't there because he's already found his happy ending and is now chilling in another worldline, raising his adoptive kids. The Plotter's absense is compensated by yjh giving kdj spoilers about the turn of events in the past regressions.

When the Disaster of Floods!sys asks yjh about the regression number, yjh honestly says "1866". Cue kdj freaking out. sys immediately feels kinship with kdj because she too is freaking out.

yjh casually reveals the truth about hsy being tls123. hsy is indignant because she can write better than that, damn it, don't insult her writing skills!

Just to put a lot of my posts and beliefs about Light Yagami's character in one post (headcanons not included):

• He does not do anything for purely moral reasons. The reason he started killing criminals was because he was curious, and then afterward his "crusade" was built from panic and spite. He thought using the Death Note was going to kill him, so he decided to take everyone he considered a threat to society down with him—that way he would still be good. He would still be remembered. If he can't live, then criminals don't deserve to either. The weight loss and the insomnia shown in the manga, were more likely results of a fear of dying than moral stress.

• Then Light discovers he won't die. This negates part of the spite, but not the need for a moral justification to keep himself "good". He no longer needs to be a martyr, so instead he's chosen to become a God.

• During this week and half of time, Light goes from being a bored, lonely, listless teenager disgusted with the world because it's not how his father taught him it should be, disgusted because if he can manage perfection why can't the rest of the world—to a boy with a new friend and a new mission that gives him purpose. Something interesting. If the world can't be perfect on its own, he'll have to help it. The world needs his help, making him its "savior".

• In comes L. It is no longer about Kira, no longer about saving the world from itself, even if he might tell himself it is—it's about the game. Kira was a fun pastime, yes, but L has made things so much more interesting. (Light and Ryuk are actually wildly similar in several ways it's just not immediately obvious). This game is more fun, too, because this time he has an opponent—one not so nebulous as "the criminals of the world", who offered no challenge. Light is still justifying his actions through a lens of morality, because he has to, but they're beginning to run rather thin.

• Both the broadcast and the obvious taunts to L through changing Kira's killing methods supports the above. "You're too stupid, L. If you were just a little smarter, we could've had some fun." Drawing L in was to progress their game, not Kira's goals. If Light truly only cared about Kira's vision, Kira's new world, Kira's righteous justice; then he wouldn't have continued to play the game after the broadcast. There was no way for L to find him without Light drawing him in—the Death Note is literally the perfect murder weapon. Light knew this, he just ignored it because he wanted to play.

• In the same vein: Yotsuba Light doesn't know he's playing the game. He's forgotten that there even is a game, and so he sees L as someone who's been duped, who either isn't as intelligent as he's been made out to seem, or someone who's being purposefully cruel just because he can. Either way, to Yotsuba Light, L's threat level has only increased, because Light no longer has any sort of weapon to go against him with. He can't even wield his own innocence against him, because his innocence is not certain. Even to himself. Yotsuba Light knows that he has to play along with L's plays of friendship and morality in order to secure his freedom, but he does not respect L or like him. At least, not until near the end, where they're closing in on Higuchi. Where his freedom seems closer....and yet he sees his own, true innocence as more tenuous than ever. Notably, even when Light feels positively towards L there, he still does not share his suspicions about himself with him. His own life still takes precedence over any sort of justice or morality he might have, because Yotsuba Light is still Light. And Light will always put his own self-interests first.

• After killing L, something interesting happens. Because the game ends, but Kira is still left. And Light was willing to take risks and make wild plans in his game with L, but Kira's goals always, always came after his own life. And when only Kira's goals are left, Light stops taking those big, potentially lethal risks. (i.e. bomb desk trap, killing Raye Penber in person by handing him pages of the Death Note, killing Naomi Misora in person right in front of the police station, writing Higuchi's name while sitting right beside L with the murder weapon literally in his hand, etc. etc.). Winning the game was worth dying for—Kira's ideals are not. Or, to put it even more simply: His pride is worth dying for, but his morals are not. Five years after his victory against L, he's presented with another game, but instead of feeling fearful and excited as he did with L, Light is angry. Arrogant and angry. Because this isn't a game to these opponents, as it was to L—they're playing against each other, and Light is merely a piece in it. This game is not like his game with L; it's more like his "game" with the criminals of the world. One with no true challenge, just another defense of Kira's world—worth winning, but not worth dying for.

• Light's pride is more important to him than anything. He needs to be able to take pride in himself and his actions. Pride comes before everything else, before Kira, before family, before L, even before his own desires and physical health. He does not enjoy killing—he just turned it into something he could be proud of. Into another mastering of craft. Light is not particularly sadistic, he's just spiteful. He'll only take pleasure in someone's suffering if they make someone else suffer first, especially if that someone is him. Attacking his pride would count as making him suffer, because that's the most important thing in the world to him. Even though Light also values his life incredibly highly, attempting to kill him wouldn't invoke as much hell-hot wrath as attempting to humiliate him would. And Light will always get even. Always. He does not forgive and forget.

• He believes every lie he tells himself. Every. Lie. He is a Good Man. He is Good Son. He is a Savior. He is Better. He is NOT Evil, he is Good. He's incredibly adept at not only fooling other people, but fooling himself. Even if he's vaguely aware of the truth, he'll take great pains to make sure that truth never comes to light—because it would crush him.

• Light does not take his own desires into account. If he likes or wants something that contradicts with the perfect image he's crafted, he purges it from his mind. Makes excuses for why he doesn't need it, or even convinces himself very thoroughly that he didn't even want it in the first place. If it's not something he can be proud of (or convince himself to be proud of), he doesn't allow himself to desire it.

• Light sees everyone as beneath him (family notwithstanding, Light loves his family deeply), and while it's a pyramid scale of how far beneath him they are, it's not actually ranked by things like gender, sexuality, race—it's ranked by morality and intelligence. The more intelligent and moral you are, the higher up you are on the scale. Light feeling hostile towards someone does not always mean he sees them as further down beneath him; with L and Misa specifically, it means that they're a threat. Light tends to only see people near the top of the intelligence pyramid as threats; evidenced by him dismissing Matsuda completely even with the knowledge that Matsuda was a marksmen, and yet him immediately setting out to kill Naomi when he found out she figured out one of Kira's secrets. With Takada and Mikami, he treats them exactly the same as each other because they're both on the same level of the scale—and he didn't hesitate to get rid of either of them. (Or try to get rid of, in Mikami's case). Everyone is either a tool, a threat, a criminal, a citizen, or family to him. People to use (tool, criminal), people to serve and/or placate (citizen, family), and people to eliminate (threat, criminal). Everyone falls into at least one of these categories for him.

• Light Yagami is a tragic character. And he's a tragic character because he refuses to believe he's part of a tragedy. He would rather swallow broken glass than be considered a victim of anything.

[You do not recognize the bodies in the water!!]

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A short little comic I did for halloween, I've been watching and reading some scp stuff lately and being the type of person to combine stuff I consume with the media I was currently hyperfixating on, I thought "why not do this little crossover for halloween"

It's been a while since I last made some spooky drawings! This one wasn't as spooky as my last ones, but I'm still happy with how it turned out

There are three types of misinterpretation of c!Dream in my opinion; and by that I mean anyone's take ever, whether it's a c!Dream anti or a c!Dream apologist or a c!Dream enthusiast. That's right, I'm making an essay about how in my mind everyone is wrong. This is how I lead debates please don't unfollow me-

1. misunderstanding or overdramatizing evidence

c!Dream apologists; g-guys. I'm not saying he isn't traumatized, but look. I really used to believe he was just everyone's victim and hurt and mentally unstable, and I'm not saying he isn't at all, but I changed my mind because I feel like the evidence doesn't,, point that way at all. Your emotions are valid, but your takes are very removed from what the rest of the fandom thinks because you take little hints and try to make them into some big angsty point within canon.

The evidence we have proves he is more ruthless than anything; even the content creator says that. He doesn't say why he does progressively more ruthless things, and he does say it's for his ideals and out of good intentions, but he doesn't say anything about him being hurt into doing it.

I'm not saying he isn't hurt. But making analysis of an entire character based on something that is barely supported by canon isn't the way I roll and I feel like it's one of the reason why people assume all c!Dream apologist are going to woobify the character,, because some of them really do that.

I don't mind portraying him as hurt by what's happened in canon, because that is a completely safe conclusion, but jumping to the victim side of the scale seems a little bit like painting a completely different picture than what actual canon says. (Note: talking about pre-Pandora c!Dream here.)

There is tragedy in someone being driven by the environment, circumstances and themselves deeper and deeper into corruption, but it feels like by only considering that the entire character is limited to one side of the argument.

I like to also see the side of him that will hurt people because he thinks he has to, because he wants to succeed above all, the side that will ruthlessly murder and manipulate and be calculative and clever and even self-destructive about it because he believes that'll get him towards his ultimately selfless goal.

That's my morally complex bastard.

A lot of people seem to be mistaking or ignoring that for the sake of saying he is just... hurt and that that is an explanation of his actions, and even though they don't use it as an excuse, it feels a little cheap.

And here we come to the core of the problem: an emotional vs. rational explanation for the character's actions.

Because the thing is, with enough evidence, you will see that nearly (we'll get to that in a bit) everything he does can be explained rationally. Everything is connected, everything is the most logical and efficient and merciless route straight from point A to point B, because c!Dream is fascinatingly smart when you look deeper into it.

He knows what he's doing. He knows his actions are awful, and he doesn't care - not because he would be some evil person, but because his mindsets cause him to justify such things, and mindsets are more complicated than feelings.

There is a lot to explore in that direction of the character, but that is material for another essay.

In short, people seem to enjoy removing all of his agency in favor of explaining his actions emotionally rather than from a rational standpoint which results in inaccurate analysis.

Do I think it is completely understandable he attacked L'Manberg?

Absolutely.

Do I think c!Wilbur painted him as a villain to benefit his own power?

Yes.

Do I think he utilized the villain persona as an intimidation tactic and often went overkill with no regard for anything but accomplishing his goals and that he slowly became more and more willing to do bad things of his own accord because he became determined and distrusting of the world to the point of committing horrible actions?

100%.

Analysing that part of the character is the most interesting part, when you consider it - and an important one as well.

2. ignoring evidence

c!Dream antis; please. Stop saying he doesn't care or explaining his actions with obsession or assigning him personality traits or motives that he literally doesn't have in order to demonize him I beg of you.

It's so many basic and easily debunkable assumptions that can be explained with what we actually know of his motives. People will ignore both canon and the authors' words to paint him as some monster with no nuance, which he is not.

We only know so much about him, but people will ignore and deny even the little bit we have for the sake of making him the literal personification of evil and erasing the fact that he is a complex and human character. Just accept he can be accurately analysed beyond hate and let people do it if you don't want to do so yourself.

3. assuming the evidence we have is everything you need to determine a final approach and that nothing outside of the presented evidence exists when certain details prove otherwise

c!Dream enthusiasts; this was the only and biggest problem I've had since being introduced to much more rational interpretations of the character - which is emotions, and one of the biggest reasons why c!Dream gets dehumanized in the first place; the fact that we have little to no showcase or explanation of them in canon.

You see, c!Dream is a reserved character. He likes withholding his plans, withholding his feelings and information from the world.

However, since all we can really get out of watching his actions alone is the rational side (and that is deliberate by both the writer and the character, narratively and personality-wise) people slowly begin to assume there is no emotional side to his actions at all.

Which I find,, untrue. Between the people who erase the rational side of the character and those who erase the emotional side, there is little middle ground, but I don't really find either of them right either.

Because neither would be an accurate representation; just because he doesn't actively showcase his feelings doesn't mean he doesn't have them, and the few inconsistencies that are too small a detail for us to put everything together show that he does have an inner emotional world beyond what we see.

The character does work beyond what we know, and expecting that everything can be explained purely by rationality because that's all we see of him seems a little bit jumping the gun.

It leads to a less person-like view of a character who in reality simply doesn't like showing people the way he feels, and I don't really find that fair to him. It is best to accept there are things we can't say for sure, or to say an emotional interpretation can also be valid at times.

It is both important not to deny him agency and not to deny him the ability to be genuinely hurt by others or changed by his environment.

Both of these can coexist, especially in

the correct interpretation

Ok this is a joke.

I have literally no idea. I'm just throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what sticks - he confuses me beyond belief. The only person who knows about both the emotional and rational side of the character enough to have their interpretation unquestioned is cc!Dream - but when we do try to find answers, it is important for us as well that we do not ignore any aspects or possible aspects of the character, because that is the only way to get useful results out of our analysis.

Sorry this was crit of basically every take about the character I have ever seen but I needed to get my thoughts out.