I Was Literally Ist Thinking About This Honestly

Always There Masterlist

The masterlist to my series Always There, a Severus Snape x Professor!Fem!Potter!Reader story.

Last Updated: January 13th, 2024

Summary: Y/N Potter was left with a baby to care for after her brother and sister-in-law were murdered by Voldemort. One person was there for her, a person she didn’t expect but soon became her comfort person, Severus Snape. During Harry’s third year at Hogwarts and her third year as Herbology professor, a few old friends come around again. Y/N has to handle the feelings of these old friends being around again as well as handle her feelings for a certain potions master all while she tries to hide these things from her godson.

Pairings: Severus Snape x Female Professor Reader, Potter!Reader x friend!Remus, Sister!Reader x James Potter, Potter!Reader x Friend!Sirius

Series Warnings: Female Reader, Potter Reader (No physical description of reader) probably shitty writing, OOC Snape, Harry grows up in a loving environment, mentions of death and murder, poorly written angst, Remus is a shitty friend, poorly written pining,

Authors Note: I do have a taglist for this series so leave a comment or something in my asks to be added if you would like to! I upload sporadically and whenever I have the time to, so mostly on the weekends I am the most active!

If there is anything you notice mistakes in any of the chapters, please do not hesitate to let me know! I usually don't have the time to proofread everything and even when I do I still miss some things so let me know! Enjoy this series!

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

jegulily is actually so powerful

DIVORCING ORION BLACK

⌈ A Marauders Era Fix-It-Fic - featuring Reader as Walburga Black but better ⌋

LAST UPDATED : 01/11/24 | [dd/mm/yy]

SERIES SUM. : Just another fix-it-fic where you fall into a fictional universe and take up the role of a villain but... in this instance, you replace Walburga Black.

You love the fandom but the Marauders Era has always been quite vague ...will you be able to live peacefully? One thing's for sure, you're getting a divorce and you're taking the kids!

UPDATE SCHEDULE : on the first day of every month, a new chapter will be posted the first chapter is the only exception ;)

CHAPTERS :

i. ARRIVAL (special thanks to @thebestofoneshots for beta reading this chapter!) ii. SHOPPING (1/2) iii. SHOPPING (2/2) iv. BEGINNINGS v. SIRIUS : FIRST DAY vi. POTIONEER ⌈new⌋ ...

EXTRA :

ANON ASK : HOW THE SERIES CAME TO BE

DISCLAIMER : please read

TAGS : son sirius black/mother reader ; son regulus black/mother reader ; isekai au/transfering worlds au ; walburga black is evil ; not reader though hehe~ ; hurt/comfort ; fluff ; platonic fluff ; second chances ; reader basically adopts remus, barty crouch jr and peter pettigrew ; peter pettigrew redemption arc? ; but he never betrays the marauders in the first place so... ; remus gets a better life ; reader becomes a semi-political figure to help werewolves + house elves ; reader assumes a male alias ; alternating chapters from different povs directly effected by reader's actions ; reader is a powerful independent business woman and single mother ; reader is a milf ; reader secretly hates dumbledore ; reader hates orion black ; reader hates JKR (we all do) ; divorce ; mentions of child abuse (physical and mental and emotional) ; mentions of neglect ; angry reader ; canon jily ; mentions of wolfstar ; regulus being a precious baby ; sirius has his moments too ; reader being a powerful trio with minerva and pomfrey ; reader potentially adopting the black sisters (bellatrix, andromeda and narcissa) ; reader adopts everyone! ; there'll be ocs ; reader leaves to live her dream cottagecore life ; happy ending! ; i'll add more tags in the future

TAGLIST DISCONTINUED...

@moonpascal sent this to me last night and i haven’t stopped thinking about it

I'm having wolfstarbucks thoughts...james sucking sirius off while remus eats him out...mhm

Anon I wanna kiss your brain this is beautiful, I love the idea of James being in the middle of them, he’s the brat for sure. Also not sure if you meant eating out like trans James but,,,,t4t4t wolfstarbucks?? They meet at pride and it’s love at first sight and they just go to queer events and drag shows together until they eventually get enough liquid courage to kiss each other OOF James and Remus sucking the strap STOP IT but even if they’re cis Remus eats ass like a pro so James is looking up at Sirius with the most lewd expression, eyes basically crossed and watering, mouth and chin covered in spit from how sloppy he’s being, and Sirius is just tugging at his hair and grinning down at him and Remus AHH

I NEED THIS OMG

i love the 'regulus gets hit with the de-aging magic' fluff fics but i need a fic where james is hit with the spell or accidentally drinks a potion. the cutest, happiest something four-years-old running after his friends on his chubby legs, so eager to hear about all the mischief they get up to at the big age of seventeen. he collects all sorts of flowers and scurries off to regulus in the great hall, climbing onto the spot beside him and proudly presenting them, totally unaware that they're the very same flowers he keeps leaving before his door in secret. will pout and latch onto regulus when sirius tries to bring him back to the common room, unashamedly climbing reg and wrapping himself around his neck like a petulant koala all >:'[ tear-fogged glasses

Let me take care of you

TW: self-harm. Nothing too graphic, but it's there. (A short description of the wounds, that's about it?) So, if you get easily triggered please read carefully.

Word count: 1 800

He opened the door to their dorm, seeing Sirius laying in his bed, he wasn't supposed to be back yet, so it took Remus by surprise. “I thought you had quidditch?” He asked, setting his bag down on the floor, and taking off the cloak.

“Do.”

“And you're here because -?” He asked, but this time didn't get an answer. Something was wrong, though he wasn't sure what it was yet, but he could tell. Remus walked over to the bed, seeing the tear tracks on Sirius' cheeks, they were quite visible even in the dim lighting. He wasn't crying anymore though, he looked like he was sleeping. He sat down on the floor, leaning his head against the bedside table, smiling slightly as Sirius opened his eyes. “What's wrong?”

“N-nothing.”

“Sirius, love, I can tell something is wrong.” he said, reaching to brush a strand of hair behind his ear. “Wanna tell me?”

“Don't feel good.”

“Do you feel ill or-?” Sirius shook his head, eyes tired as he looked at Remus. “Okay. Did something happen?”

“No.”

“That's good, baby.” He smiled softly, trying to figure out what exactly was wrong, maybe it was just a bad day. There was this pained expression on Sirius face, though Remus couldn't quite place what it was or what could be hurting him. “Not feeling up for quidditch?”

Sirius shook his head. “Jamey thinks I'm sick.”

“Okay.” He chuckled, watching as a faint smile flashed on Sirius' face, though it faded quickly. “Talk to me, love?”

Sirius took in a shaky breath, closing his eyes for a moment as if to prevent tears from falling. Then, with the arm that had been folded under his head, he reached for Remus'. He smiled, intertwining their fingers together, rubbing small circles into his wrist with his thumb, waiting for Sirius to speak.

“I'm sorry.”

“Why are you saying sorry, angel?”

“Did somethin’.”

Remus felt his heart sink at the all too familiar situation, dread and worry, but he stayed calm, knowing it would make Sirius mire anxious if he'd panic, and he didn't want that. So, he just reached to wipe away the tear that fell down, being as gentle as he possibly could. “Show me, baby.” Sirius shook his head, more tears spilling out. “Please? M'not mad, never mad. I just wanna make sure you're alright.” he whispered, wiping away more of the tears, shifting so he was sitting on his knees.

“I'm so sorry.”

“Shh, shh, it's okay.” he brushed a strand of hair behind his ear. “Let's get up? Just wanna make sure they're all clean, don't want them to get infected, do we?” Sirius shook his head. “Then we'll have some cuddles, sound good?”

“Chocolate?”

“All the chocolate you want.” Remus smiled, kissing his forehead, getting the smallest of smiles out of the boy. “I should even have a few chocolate frogs left, remember the ones Pete bought for Christmas?”

“Still?”

“I'm not as greedy as you think, baby.” he chuckled, kissing his nose and cheek before getting up from the floor. “Plus, I got a ton of chocolate for Christmas. I got other sweets too, c'mon up love.” he said, taking both of Sirius' hands into his and leading him into the bathroom. “Hop up, darling.”

Sirius did as he was told, hopping up to sit down on the counter, watching as Remus pulled out the muggle med kit he insisted on using, though Sirius didn't mind. He also got out some cotton pads, and a clean towel, kissing Sirius' forehead when he came to stand in front of the boy.

“You have to show me now, okay?” Sirius nodded, looking down, starting to fiddle with his sleeves. “Take your time, baby.” He whispered, brushing his hair back, as he looked at Sirius, who shook his head after a moment. “I can too, if you want me to.”

“Please.” Sirius whispered, looking up at Remus, eyes filling with tears again, threatening to spill over.

“Okay. Don't worry.” he gently rolled up the sleeves of Sirius' jumper, going slowly so Sirius' could stop him if it felt too overwhelming. He winced slightly at the sight, he couldn't make out everything, but small, somewhat deep looking cuts were on both arms, blood slowly dripping down. “We're gonna have to put some bandages on these love, shh, shh, don't cry it's alright. I'm gonna clean them with these first, then with some water, and we'll put bandages on to keep them clean.”

“You have to tell me if it hurts too much.” Sirius nodded, tears falling as he closed his eyes, feeling how Remus started to dab the cotton pads on the deepest looking ones, wiping away blood. Sirius just kept still, keeping his arms where Remus left them, resting on his thighs. He heard the water running after a moment, and he opened his eyes, glancing at Remus, who just wiped away the tears before squeezing the excess water out of the towel.

“You know this is gonna sting a bit, I'm sorry about that, baby.” He whispered softly, waiting for Sirius to nod before starting to clean his arms better, apologizing every time he heard a hurt whimper come from Sirius, going lighter on the next one. “All done with that, love. You did so good. Proud of you.”

“Kiss?”

“You can definitely have a kiss.” He smiled, leaning down to give him a chaste kiss, getting another small smile from him as he leaned back up. “Just one more thing and you'll get another kiss, okay? Maybe even a hug.” Sirius nodded, looking up at Remus through his wet eyelashes, looking tired and still sad, though not as much as before. He gently wrapped his hands up with the bandages. “Not too tight?” He asked, lacing their fingers together when he was done.

Sirius shook his head, looking up at Remus. “Sorry you have to do this.”

“Shh, no, don't be sorry.” He whispered. “All good. I don't have to do anything, you're not making me, are you?” Sirius shook his head. “I want to, baby. Wanna take care of you, if you just let me.” he smiled, helping Sirius down from the counter, who just wrapped his arms around Remus' neck, face pressing into his chest. He did the same, arms wrapping around his waist as he buried his face into Sirius' hair, swaying them just slightly. “Feeling at all better?” he asked after a moment, hand running up and down his back slowly.

“Only ‘cause of you.” He mumbled. Remus smiled to himself, kissing his head. “Don't go.”

“Wasn't planning on that.” he whispered, smiling softly once Sirius looked up at him. “I’m proud of you. So proud.”

“I love you.”

“And I love you.” He leaned down to give him a kiss. “Wanna go to bed?” He nodded, but leaned against Remus rather than moving. “I'm not gonna carry you, love. It's barely fifteen steps, you can make it.”

“Mm no.” He whispered, shaking his head. “Wanted to take care of me.” He grinned, and Remus was just glad there was at least some of his normal cheekiness back. “Please moons.”

“Only this time, baby.” He whispered, kissing his forehead before lifting him up, Sirius' legs wrapping around his waist, clinging on like a koala. He smiled as he was set down onto the bed. “Wanna change into something more comfy?”

“Want your jumper.”

“Okay.” he nodded, going to dig out two of his jumpers, since he definitely wanted to change out of his school uniform. He also dug out the stash of chocolate he kept in there, handing Sirius the jumper before going to the bathroom to clean up the mess he had left before. He changed his jumper while walking back over to Sirius, climbing in bed next to him. Sirius rested his head on Remus' shoulder, shifting so he could curl up to him, feet over his lap, which was nearly impossible to do comfortably in the small bed, but he didn't mind.

“You promised chocolate.”

“I did.” he reached for his bedside table, grabbing the two boxes of chocolate frogs, giving them both to Sirius. “I'm eating the other one, by the way. Which cards are you still missing?”

“Rowena Ravenclaw at least, then I have all the founders.” he said, opening the package, and giving the frog the Remus. “Then some rarer ones I think, I've had such bad luck, never got Ollivander. No luck.” He said as he looked at the card he just got.

“Maybe next time, baby.” He nodded, opening the other one, this time taking the frog for himself, flipping over the card.

“I have like three of her, what the hell.” Remus laughed quietly. “It's unfair Moony. I will slip it into James' deck, he has like ten.”

“And how many of them are actually his?”

“Maybe two.” Sirius smiled, and he laughed again. “ ‘s only fair, he keeps giving me Dumbledore. But I, unlike Jamey, keep track of my cards.”

“Sure you do love.”

“I do.” He said. “Well, at least I notice if cards suddenly appear.”

Remus smiled, grabbing the trash from his lap to set them down on the bedside table. “Do you want more?”

“A bit?” Remus nodded as he grabbed the chocolate bar, opening it and breaking pieces off, few for himself and few for Sirius, then set it back on his bedside table. “Thank you.” he yawned, leaning even closer to Remus.

“Are you tired?” Sirius hummed. “Should we take a little nap? We have time before dinner.”

“Mhm. Don' wanna go.” he mumbled. “So tired.”

“What if we sleep and see what we'll do after? It's not until a few hours, love.” Sirius nodded. “C'mon, let's lay down, you'll be more comfy.”

Remus shifted so he was laying down, smiling as Sirius laid down too, resting his head on Remus' chest, half laying on top of him just because he could. Remus pulled the blanket over them, holding Sirius close.

“Do you wanna talk?” He asked, starting to play with Sirius' hair, Sirius shrugged, hiding more into Remus' chest, starting to draw shapes to his chest to keep his hands busy. “We don't have to, love. But you know it helps.”

“I'm just tired.” He mumbled. “Really overwhelmed. Just a bad day, I guess.”

“Okay.” He whispered, kissing his head. “Anything I can do to help?”

“Just wanna be with you and sleep.” Remus nodded. “Snuggles.”

He chuckled, holding Sirius a little closer, smiling as Sirius reached for his hand, so he intertwined their fingers together. “I'll wake you up in a few hours, okay?”

“Mhm.”

“I love you.” He whispered into Sirius' hair. “Sleep well.”

“Love you too.”

A/N:

Hi :)

Hopefully you liked this, and remember to take care of yourself <3

Also, both James and Sirius would have the biggest chocolate frog card collection, and would mess with each other constantly. (Remus gives all his cards to Sirius, cause why wouldn't he?)

You can't convince me otherwise on this, like no way that didn't happen

Have a good day/night/something, see you around somewhere, maybe?

<3

Sorry to break it to you but you literally have to face your fears and slaughter them. Otherwise you will live a small life that you do not want. You literally have to view your biggest fears and attack them head on. You have to fall into the abyss to find your way out. The easy path does not exist. There is no get out of jail free card. You have to allow yourself to die a spiritual death over and over again in order to reinvent yourself into the person you are actually supposed to be. And you have to be painfully honest with yourself and the people around you. It’s horrible but it’s truly the only way.

༻¨*:· A PEARL ·:*¨༺

♪ It's just that I fell in love with a war ♪ ♪ Nobody told me it ended ♪

༻¨*:· summary ·:*¨༺ You break a bowl, Remus tries to comfort you. An argument ensues.

༻¨*:· notes ·:*¨༺ 𖦹 reader's previous relationship was abusive 𖦹 a bloody hand (but nothing graphic) 𖦹 gn!reader (they/them pronouns) 𖦹 a sprinkle of angst 𖦹 hurt/comfort 𖦹 remus lupin calling you his darling and his love 🜷⌣🜷 𖦹 remus lupin being the best partner ever 𖦹 he's so boyfriend 𖦹 inspired by the song 'A Pearl' by Mitski  𖦹 fluffy ending bc i'm a huge crybaby 𖦹 i did not proofread this bc i'm lazy ⎝(ˊᗜˋ)⎠

༻¨*:· word count ·:*¨༺ 𖦹 2.1k 

"Sometimes, I wish I was a star," Your voice was quiet as you peered into the black sky, stars scattered across it. They looked like pearls. Precious.

He looked at you in admiration, "Why?"

"Because they're up there," You sighed, "And they take time to paint each star. To them, each one is just as important as the one before, and they ensure they are all beautiful."

"Who's up there?" There was genuine interest in his tone, and it warmed your heart.

"The person I used to be." You felt silly saying it, and you were scared he was going to judge you.

There was a beat of silence.

Instead of judgement, he reached for your hand and interlocked your pinkies, whispering: "You're precious. Like a pearl."

Your face grew warm.

Remus anxiously waited for you—he was gnawing at his fingernails. He scolded himself; you hated when he chewed on his fingernails.

1:39

"They're only nine minutes late, Remus. It's okay. They're okay. We're okay," He muttered.

Remus had an underlying fear that you would leave him. It wasn't because of the whole werewolf thing—okay, maybe it was the werewolf thing, but only a little bit; and he was working on that.

It was because of something you were going through. Remus didn't understand what you were going through; he couldn't understand. That was one of the many intricate parts of your relationship.

You didn't want him to understand because he could only understand if he went through the same thing. You certainly did not want him to go through that.

That is what brought you here, on the floor, curled into yourself, sobbing.

"He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve me," You wailed, looking at your hands

Remus stood up, it had been half an hour, and he knew you weren't showing up.

He felt tired.

Not of you, never of you, but of this feeling. This emotion that appeared to be swallowing you whole and seemingly had its eyes set on your relationship as its next victim.

You heard the key in the door, and a wave of panic hit you. Then, as it washed over you—submerging you and taking your breath—the panic turned into guilt.

You were supposed to meet Remus at the park, and you were ... crying?

He toed his shoes off and walked to the kitchen, where he heard you weeping.

Upon seeing you, his heart felt like the shattered pieces of porcelain at your side. You were sobbing because you broke a bowl. Then, you started apologizing. It was frantic and compulsive, just a simple "I'm sorry" repeatedly falling from your chapped lips.

He wondered how anyone could see you like this and get mad at you.

"Darling?" He knew his voice had to be quiet. You were fragile right now—he assumed your breaking of the bowl triggered you. At this point in the relationship, identifying the trigger was somewhat easy. Identifying the feelings the trigger brought up was the challenging part. It didn't help that sometimes you couldn't articulate your feelings.

One of those times seemed to be now. Remus loathed that all you could say was, "I'm sorry."

Then, he noticed the dry blood on your hand and wanted to joke about how 

'You've only broken a bowl. You didn't kill someone, even though you've got literal blood on your hands.'

He didn't. Maybe he'll tell you later.

He knelt beside you.

Remus didn't think anything of it. He just wanted to wipe your cheek and relieve it from the layer of tears.

To him, it was harmless. To you, it was frightening.

You shrunk into yourself as he brought his hand up, and you scrunched your face, bracing for a slap, or a hit, or something physically violent.

Remus brought his hand down, and his lips pressed together.

"I'm not gonna hurt you," He whispered, "I'll never hurt you. You're safe her, Darling. You're safe."

Your next inhale was sharp, and your face relaxed with the shaky exhale that followed. You opened your eyes to look at Remus, who spoke gently, "Why don't I clean up your hand, okay?"

At your nod, he spoke again. "Can I touch you?"

You shake your head, "It's not because of you. It's— It's—"

At your wavering voice, he stepped in, "I know, Darling. I know"

He didn't understand why you felt you had to explain why you said no, just that you were wired to do so. It hurt him—deeply.

You stood slowly, knowing you would get dizzy if you stood too fast. And if you got dizzy, there was a possibility that you would fall, and if you did, Remus would either try to catch you, or you would injure yourself. If Remus caught you, he would be touching you, making you even more miserable. If you got hurt he—being the angel he is—would take the blame and never forgive himself. Both would make him feel worse. You already missed lunch together because you dropped this stupid bowl and—

"My Lovely?" Remus repeated for the fourth time; this time, it snapped you out of your frantic thoughts.

You looked at him, "Hm?"

"To clean your hand, I'm going to have to touch it. Is that okay?" His talking was slow and calm, and it oddly made you mad.

"I said I didn't want you to touch me!" You felt your heart beat faster, and adrenaline rushed over you.

Remus was so incredibly tired, and he didn't feel like fighting. He hated fighting with you—it was gut-wrenching.

"I know, but I don't want your hand to get infected because it's not clean."

"Stop speaking to me like I'm a child, Remus."

You knew what you were doing, and it was wrong, but it felt so right to pick a fight. You hated yourself for it.

Remus sighed.

You swore you could feel the blood pumping through your veins and drew your brows together, "Don't sigh at me."

Remus knew better than to indulge in your argument, but he couldn't help himself.

"All I am trying to do is help you."

Your brain was foggy, "Well, you're not helping. If anything, you're making it WORSE!"

You have said a lot of things in past arguments. Never anything like this.

"Wait, no—" You quickly went to correct yourself.

"I'm making it worse?" He repeated your bitter words. "Really? Because if I'm making it worse, I can leave. I can leave you here and never try to help you again if I make everything so much worse."

"That's not what I said!" You argued back, "I never said you make everything worse. Stop twisting my words!"

"I'm not twisting your words, Y/n. This—" He waved his arms around the broken porcelain, then around you, "this is everything."

Too far.

"I am a person, Remus. I am not just my trauma." Your voice was quiet.

"Aren't you!?"

You looked at your bloody hand, "I'm sorry, Remus. I—" Your voice cracked, and you went silent.

Hit turn to feel guilty.

"Can I clean your cut?" He muttered.

You gave him your hand.

"Can I touch you?"

You somberly nodded your head.

His touch was soft, and you started to sweat. You hated this feeling. You hated fearing that his fingers would turn harsh after they softly cleaned your hand.

And you felt bad for being scared, because you knew Remus would never hurt you. Still, something in you was constantly on edge, a primal instinct to protect yourself before you got hurt.

He once said you reminded him of a pearl. He would give you pearl necklaces and earrings and bracelets. A precious pearl, that's what he would call you.

The jewelry stayed in your jewelry box, untouched since you left him. You weren't sure why you kept them—maybe to remind yourself that it was real. It could be because the pearls symbolized what you thought his love was.

It wasn't love, though, it was manipulation, and it was toxic.

And, as much as you didn't want to believe it, it was abuse.

Perhaps you kept the pearls because they were part of that toxicity.

Remus finished cleaning your hand somewhat ten minutes ago; you hadn't realized, too deep in thought.

Too busy thinking about the pearls again.

He stained part of you, a part of yourself that you now call The Pearl.

It started small, and you were able to control it at first.

Now, it seemed unmanageable.

The Pearl taunted you. It told you to be explosive because it knew Remus wouldn't be. Explosions cause chaos, and chaos is safe. That's what it told you.

But then, when the chaos was over and done with, it told you that you were toxic and abusive—it said you were a monster and that you were just like him.

You would indulge in The Pearl—you did everything it told you to do. You believed everything it told you to believe.

Maybe you were toxic.

"Y/n?" Remus repeated. His voice was quaint and delicate. You could tell he didn't want to startle you.

"Do you want to go sit on the couch? Maybe we can talk over there?"

You nodded, trudged your way to the couch, and plopped down. A heavy sigh escaped your lips.

You, too, were tired of this feeling.

Once he sat down, you quickly spoke, "I'm sorry, Remus."

"I'm not going to tell you it's okay 'cos it wasn't, but I'm also sorry. I said some very hurtful things, and I know better than to let it get out of hand—"

You wanted to scream, not at Remus, at yourself. You interrupted him, "Remus, t's not your fault. I let it get to me."

"My Darling, I'm still having trouble understand what 'it' is. I know you've tried before, but can you try and explain again? Because I can't keep doing this. My Lovely, I can't keep arguing with you. It hurts too much."

Perhaps it wasn't the best wording, but you knew what he meant.

"I'm sor—"

He cut you off, "Don't apologize."

You nodded.

"It's like there's this—" You took a deep breath. You had to tell him, no matter how scary it was.

"He used to call me his precious pearl," You started, looking down into your laps where your hands rested, "And I was his. He trapped me for years, and I became his."

Remus didn't like hearing that, but he put his anger aside.

"He changed me, Remus." You looked into his soft, lovely amber eyes. He wasn't judging you.

"Do you know how pearls form?"

He looked at you with confusion and shook his head.

"When an oyster comes in contact with a foreign substance, it traps and covers it with the same stuff that makes its shell. As time goes on, this material—the one that makes the shell—builds and creates a pearl."

Remus slowly nods, "Okay."

"Well, when this process occurs naturally, it doesn't hurt the oyster." You look back down into your lap, "But there are pearl farms where harvesters will cut the oyster and insert irritants." You looked back at him, "Pearls are formed to defend the oyster. When this process happens artificially, it usually hurts the oyster because the harvesters do it with little care."

Remus nodded again, "You know I'm very interested in the things you enjoy talking about, but I'm not sure if this is the right time to be talking about pearls."

"Just wait. It has to do with this, okay?"

When he nodded, you kept speaking. "So, I'm like an oyster, and he was like a pearl farmer. There's this part of me that I call 'The Pearl,' it helps protect me, but not in the right way. Before he could take the pearl, I left, and now I'm trying to remove it, but it's hard and it hurts. It hurts so much." You hoped you were making sense. "Now, I'm with you, and I love it. I love this relationship so much, Remus. I do. And I love you, you're so gentile and you don't even want to make a pearl from me, but I've got one, and it hurts, and I don't know how long it'll take to remove it—I don't know if I can remove it."

Remus was starting to understand. "So, The Pearl, it makes you—" He was very careful with his words, "It created chaos?"

"Mhm"

"As a ... defense mechanism?"

You nodded, "It's because I'm not used to being in such a calm relationship. It feels unnerving, so The Pearl is telling me to create the explosions 'cos that's how it's "s'posed" to be, and then you'll leave, and—" Your inhale was shaky, "And then I turn into a harvester and The Pearl is happy with that because I don't get hurt."

He was quick to respond, "You will never become a harvester, and I won't leave." He shook his head to himself, "I won't ever leave you."

You looked at him with adoration, "Even though I've got a pearl?"

"Even though you've a pearl," He confirmed. "We can work on extracting it together, okay? How's that sound?"

Your heart felt so warm and so full, "That sounds nice."

He curtly nodded and stood up, "You want a cwtch?"

"The bowl," You whispered.

He smiled softly, "I cleaned it up—while you were thinking earlier."

Remus told you his stupid joke as he held you. You felt safe as you laughed, saying: "I do have lots of skeletons in my closet, though. That okay?"

He smiled, "I love spooky shit."

It made you laugh harder.

Maybe you could finally wave your white flag of surrender.

No more war, no more pearls.

Thank you for reading, my lovelies

ଘ(੭ ˊᵕˋ)੭*༺ ♡‧₊˚

@forourmoons @sw34terw34ther @cremexcoffee @nelabelievesindragons @evergreenlover

baby, i need a part two of this omfg, but my poor baby Jamie 😭

Wolfstar+James

"Third wheeling"

James love and supported his best friends through everything. Their bad and their ugly, their honest and their sad. Because of course he did. When you love someone that's just what you do. It always came natural to James. Listening to their problems, knowing their ins and outs. He was always attentive. James appreciated his friends, and he didn't need much in return aside from their presence. It had always been the four of them against the world.

So you can imagine the absolute curveball it was when James found his best friends snogging in their dormitory, all Intertwined and messy. Intently, like it was a regular practice. James stood frozen a second, something new aform in his chest as he shut the door. Hours later he'd come back, to be greeted by a "James! Mate! Where've you been?" He only smiled in response. He heald his knowledge in for no more than a mere thirty seconds. He couldn't help it. James potter never was one to keep secrets any good.

And they talked. They explained their..relationship. their relationship James of course was happy for his best friends. Beaming. He congratulated them and his chest was no longer heavy. His best friends. Together! Merlin if he wasn't absolutely ecstatic.

For a while, that is. Because happiness dissipated once the dynamic duo was "out" to everyone. It was normal now for them to be snogging during inconvenient hours. James would only shut the door once again and head off the library to study. He was understanding. Of course he was. His best friends! In a relationship!

As time progressed James found himself falling asleep more and more often in the dim candle-light of the library. More time eating lunch on the terrace. No matter, anyhow. Sirius and Remus seemed not to remember James was gone. Nor peter. But Peter had his own dwellings. A lovely girlfriend he got along just fine with, a sufficient group of people to welcome him with open and purposeful arms. And James didn't like change. He wouldn't go waltzing off to the next group to accept him. He couldn't. But he couldn't stay with the ones who once wanted him either. So alone he sat.

James hardly saw much of the two of them at all. Even in potions where Sirius was once sharing giggles at the peculiar textbook names, his eyes stayed less on words more in his loves eyes. James sighed, burying his head back into his work. All he ever seemed to do nowadays was hide.

Now James sat up in the astronomy tower, gazing at the darkened sky. His longings stayed unspoken even in total isolation. If he didn't admit it, it wasnt happening. So he hung his head over the balcony with a defeated whine. James lifted his head and tensed as he heard the door behind him swing open. He didn't turn, but immediately he knew. The presence was overwhelming.

"..Barty." He barely choked out, greeting the other.

"Potter." Barty was snide, a grin as he approached.

"What's got you out here so late, then? No more room in that big..harem of a friend group you've got?"

James' laugh was dry. Oh if only Barty knew.

"Was I right? First try? That usually doesn't happen to me. Merlin, I need to tell Evan about this!"

"Yeah..yeah collect your winnings crouch. Count them while you still have them.."

It was Barty who laughed this time.."You're alright, Potter. A little more alright than the rest of them."

James let out a shaken breath at this.

"Suppose there has been worth slytherins I've come across."

And James really doesn't know how it happened. He doesn't remember when Barty lunges forward, grabbing his tie. He doesn't know when something feral happens inside himself, hastily unbuttoning Bartys dress shirt. When he's on the ground and Merlin, is Barty on top??

And so it becomes habit. The first time or two are entirely unexpected. James finds himself lingering longer than he should after that. Really its just an outlet. Something to put his stress into. James knows Barty feels the same. James is just a vice for Bartys relationship woes, and so they form their own messy, comfortable routine. No harm, really.

James, having had a particularly harrowing night began his walk back from the astronomy tower, a little tipsy from a party beforehand.

A party in which his best friends spent on each other the entire time. A party to celebrate griffyndors triumphant quidditch season. James let out a breath, turning the handle. He peaked in. Sirius and Remus were sat side-to-side on remus' bed, reading some magazine. Sirius smiled as James entered the room.

"Bit late, prongs. What heald you up?"

Sirius of course could tell, by the mess of his tie and hair, but he didn't want to assume.

Remus chuckled "Who's the lucky lady then, James?"

James only scoffed as he passed the two, reaching beside Sirius to steal back one of his pillows. And that was when Sirius caught something..strange. A tinge of cologne, on James' collar. That would mean..no, surely...

Sirius ssat there, eyes dull. He was contemplating a hundred and-a-half things before James went off to go take a shower. He kept his findings to himself, holding onto that protruding confusion.

For weeks.

Weeks until he sat in the boys locker room, lacing up his boots. Until Barty sat next to him. Until Barty snickered. Until Barty..pulled out a bottle of cologne. He sprits some on himself, rubbing it from his wrist to his neck. Why was that so familiar? Where had Sirius picked that up from before?

.

.

Sirius rushed back into his shared dorm to a James just now gathering his quidditch gear. He yelled, screamed even,

"Barty?! You're fucking Barty?!"

Sirius breath was heavy from his practical run up these stairs, his eyes were reddish, his cheeks too. Angry, for certain.

Instead of wailing in defence James just continued gathering his supplies, not sparing Sirius once single glance as he uttered a small. "Yeah what's it matter?"

lmk if you want me to continue this idk :')