This Is What I Mean When I Say Babygirl

Some of my favorite tropes in RadioStatic fics:

Alastor cooks amazingly but WAYYYY too spicy for Vox so he begrudgingly has to make it milder for his Caucasian Pallet™️

Vox losing his shit when he finds out Alastor has a tail.

Valentino getting jealous over Alastor and Vox. Especially if there's no sex going on and Vox STILL enjoys Alastor's time more.

Vox eventually finding out Alastor is a virgin and starts losing his shit once again.

Them talking shit through radio waves.

Angel Dust asking who tops.

Charlie being happy for Alastor having a 'friend'.

Lucifer calling Vox 'the TV' (or even better 'the screen') when he starts to hang around the hotel.

Alastor and Vox scaring the shit out of everyone when they visit the other's respective home.

Enjoying not having a nightmare

crazy how fanfic authors drop the most beautiful and gorgeous pieces of work ever, leaving you speechless and sobbing at three in the morning as you quietly contemplate the masterpiece you just read

and they don’t get paid for it they just do it because they’re having fun and they want to share their joy with you

like I would literally die for all of you fanfic authors out there reblog to swear your allegiance to fanfic authors

"How does it feel to block someone."

HOTIBLE.but peaceful.

I love this and you make me want to genuinely use the force of God to strangle the apology out of Luci❤️

You know that one post about how his mom doesn't love him?

If the hotel ever finds out what Lucifer said to Ali-corn's mama,what do you think their reactions would be?Like if they found out (by angsty means) that Luci had gone and shit-talk thinking that Al wasn't listening (which is still bad!) ,what would they think about it and him? Because right now I'm thinking resting bitch faces targeted straight at the king ,while Alastor is two seconds from one of the most terrific mental breakdowns since Vox.

I'm asking because you have made me think about that interaction non-stop and now I'm just waiting for your response because I'm genuinely in-fucking-vested.

(I cower in fear as you twiddle your fingers)

Alright, so this is the post that anon is referring to for those of you who have absolutely no idea what's happening (ofc @that-hazbin for the inspiration/original post). My response for this is DETAILED, so we're taking it below the cut one character at a time

Charlie - Charlie loves Alastor despite how shifty he can be, and cannot STAND for it when people hurt those she loves, so hearing what he dad said about him felt like a punch in the gut. She knew he and Alastor didn't get along, but this is entirely too far. She always tries her best to keep from getting angry at anyone, but she positively loses her shit once she hears about what he said. It's even worse if she finds out that Alastor heard everything, and his response was to smile and make everyone dinner with a recipe his mother loved. She cries to Vaggie about how unfair it all is that Alastor was unloved for things that happened before he was even born, and that her dad would be so cruel as to say he wasn't worthy of love anyways. Even when he apologizes, Charlie can't help but add the whole incident to the mental tally she has of every time Lucifer has hurt her, even though she knows that it isn't about her. Alastor should be the one who is upset, but he just...isn't. He doesn't show that he's bothered at all, and that's honestly worse than if he'd gone into a rage, or screamed and cried about it because that just means that he's used to it

Vaggie - Vaggie usually doesn't give a shit about Alastor besides the fact that Charlie cares about him, he's part of the hotel, and he has the potential to be a threat. However, hearing what Lucifer and Alastor's supposedly "incredible" mother were saying was...jarring. It was honestly shocking how quickly she became defensive over Alastor considering how little they usually got along. She didn't say anything to his face (bc that's potentially her future father in law and the KING OF HELL), but she immediately became much more short with him, heading off any of his attempts to speak with her and remaining stiffly formal despite his insistence otherwise. Of course, it's not too hard to maintain icy formality with someone who can't even bother to remember her name despite the fact they live together and that she's dating his daughter. And if she manages to interrupt Alastor and Lucifer's arguments before Lucifer can start truly cutting with his words, that's no one's business but her own

Nifty - Thanks to her lobotomy in life, it's sometimes hard for Nifty to keep up with what's going on in the world around her - especially when it's something emotionally based rather than physical. But that doesn't mean she's dumb. And she'd known Alastor pretty much the entire time she's been in Hell. 70ish years is definitely long enough to pick up on Alastor's tells. Unlike almost everyone else, when Nifty sees him at dinner after he overheard Lucifer and his mother, she immediately knows that he's deeply upset and hurt by something. She'd already realized that Alastor's mother didn't love him, and that Alastor was steadfastly ignoring that fact and loving her twice as much in return. All it took was some alone time with Alastor once he'd had a few drinks, and she knew exactly what he'd overheard. No one in the hotel besides Alastor and Husk had ever seen Nifty truly angry before, but they quickly realized just how unsettling it could be when she go to that point. Being angry made her surprisingly lucid, and she didn't act as everyone had become used to. Instead of delivering frightening threats, she ignored Lucifer and plotted, and glared out of the corner of her eye, her expression sparking with a protective sort of rage. Alastor was hers, and anyone who hurt what was hers was a pest waiting to be swatted like a bothersome fly. At the same time, she made sure to shower Alastor in affection in the only ways she knew how: bug crowns, drawings, little things she found that made her think of him. If she curled up against his chest or comfortingly pet his ears while he tried to go to sleep, well it wasn't as if Alastor was going to tell anyone - and he hadn't pushed her away either

Husk - Husk and Alastor had a...complicated relationship. Alastor saw his thrall as a great source of entertainment as long as he didn't broach certain topics, and Husk resented having his soul owned, but didn't hate Alastor himself. He'd seen a lot of fucked up shit while he was alive, so he doesn't blame Alastor's mother for not loving him - but he doesn't blame Alastor for it either. Lucifer on the other hand had no right to comment on the issue the way he had. Not only did it make Alastor's mother feel worse, but Alastor managed to overhear, and reacted accordingly - by trying to make himself as little of a burden to his mother as possible. He'd talked at dinner, but he hadn't truly spoken, only saying anything to make his mother feel less awkward. Husk already hadn't liked Lucifer - Charlie's rampant daddy issues spoke for him well enough, but Lucifer hadn't really done anything to endear himself to the hotel residents since his arrival. He still proudly displayed his general disgust of sinners as a whole, and one couldn't help but be offended at the treatment. However, he couldn't exactly confront the king on that whole mess, and Alastor would probably eat him for daring to fight his battles for him, so Husk instead settled for being a listening set of ears and having Alastor's favorite bottle of rye at the ready on the days Husk could tell he was really struggling

Angel - Angel's always protected his friends from people more powerful than himself, so you better believe he immediately confronted Lucifer on the shit he said about Alastor the minute he heard about it. He and Alastor may not have been super close, but they bonded over their shared hatred of the Vees, and had been slowly getting closer as friends. Plus, Alastor (like Vaggie) was someone who was always guaranteed to never want Angel for his body, which was a nice change of pace. Alastor wasn't exactly happy with Angel stepping in on his behalf, but Angel was quick to shut any protests down by saying that he shouldn't have to defend himself from people (especially people who had been around since before time started and should really be more mature by now) picking at his family's personal (and incredibly painful) issues. Just like Husk, Angel wasn't exactly endeared to the king anyways with the way he openly disregarded them all in their first meeting without even talking to them

Overall, everyone got a lot more defensive of Alastor then anyone (especially Alastor who assumed that Lucifer's claim was accurate) would have expected. And it will take some serious grovelling for them to even consider letting Lucifer off the hook for saying something so fucked up about an already fucked up situation. But then again, he is the sin of pride, so that makes it a lot less likely that he'll even get around to admitting he's wrong in the first place

This keeps alive and well.

Don't get me wrong I love the fics/comics of Alastor being forced on a date with Vox (either because he needs something, has lost a bet, made a deal etc. wtv the reason) and he's suffering the entire time because Vox could not be any less impressive.

BUT

I haven't once seen a fic with the same plot, only Alastor doesn't want to go out with Vox because the date will be abysmal, but because he KNOWS he'll have the BEST time.

Think about it, we know they were friends before the "sad and complicated" falling out, which means Alastor (who barely stands men in general) must have enjoyed Vox's company so much that he allowed him in his close circle of friends, so close he actually let him take a picture. And no one can convince me that Vox doesn't know Alastor like the back of his hand.

They've spent years together, Vox would absolutely know what Alastor likes and what he doesn't. He would make the date as good as possible if only to irritate Alastor in a "this is what we could have had you fucking idiot" or a "admit that you missed me fool". He will buy him the biggest bouquet of roses imaginable, he will take him to his favorite restaurant in cannibal town (yes, his stalker ass knows which one Alastor’s favorite is), he will intentionally choose topics of conversation he knows Alastor is interested in and avoid any he isn't (*cough cough* modern tech), he puts on that charming gentlemanly attitude Alastor always falls for, he will get that man drunk off his ass and will pull him to the dance floor like he's done countless times before. He KNOWS what to do to make him happy, he's done it for years. The entire night is like one nostalgic walk in the park, it barely takes any effort from Vox. And besides, Vox's entire shtick is ingratiating himself to people and telling them exactly what they want to hear.

And Alastor HAAATES it.

He HATES how pleasant Vox's company is and no matter how hard he's tried to forget their past friendship, he gets swept right back up. No amount of denial or masking his enjoyment can hide it. He doesn't want to go on that date because he doesn't want to forget why they're enemies, he doesn't want to slide all of that pent up resentment under the rug and simply forgive and forget.

(This entire thing is made so much funnier if it's witnessed from a third person's perspective eg. Charlie. This girl is watching Alastor moping and complaining about having to go with the "ridiculous, inane picturebox" on a date like it's the worst thing that's ever happened to him and *proceed twelve hours later*, Alastor and Vox barge through the hotel doors drunk, bloody, missing several pieces of clothing, clutching onto each other for dear life looking like they've had several near death experiences, with the biggest, brightest smiles on both of their faces while they laugh their asses off.(they probably committed mass genocide))

She’s like Sonic

Drawing of my cryptid deer because why the hell not.

I am absolutely horrified my Vivziepop.Just every shitty thing she's done,and the fact she's real is bad enough.

*cries in Alastor lover*

I like to think I'm funny

He can't swim </3