Lirabuswavi - LiraBuswavi

Writers, it's okay:

to be proud of your own writing

to write something self-indulgent

to celebrate your achievements

to have a bad day of writing

to hype up your own writing

to be kind to your characters once in a while. ok? it's ok

Plot twist! Danny's into that too. He wants someone to match the dramatic flair, and would you look at that? He's got it. And, well, bonus points to Jason for not minding getting French dipped by a twink. Seems to be the opposite, in fact.

One of those "Danny needs a consort" fics where a bunch of people are invited to a mass speed dating event. The invitation uses prettier words but thats what this is. Now Batman wants to go get a look a this super powerful being and see if he's a threat or ally, and would you look at that, most of his children fall into the age bracket the invitation specifies 

(or maybe the batkids have just been touched by death enough they're viable candidates and got personalized invitations. Either way Bruce wants to go)

So Batman says a few of his kids will go and he's tagging along as a "chaperone". Maybe a few other JL members do the same with their proteges. The hard part for Bruce is actually getting his kids to agree to go. The biggest surprise is Jason finds out and demands to go.

Now Jason, a known lover of regency period romances, read a copy of the invitation the JL got and knew exactly what this was. There will be a ball. The word "courting" was used. This is a chance to live out his secret romance novel dreams and nothing is getting in the way of that. So he calls the batfam to say he's going

The batfam are like flabbergasted that Jason wants to go to a spooky speed dating event but it has the added bonus of getting the kids to start volunteering bc they have to know why Jason is so excited about this

no offence but i think a lot of us me included don’t actually want romantic love as badly as we think and really are just lonely and crave a closeness and intimacy that feels out of reach in friendships because of society’s emphasis on marriage and the nuclear family so we project that into the never ending search for a perfect love and a soulmate when really we all just want to mean something to someone

They attempt to present this as some kind of bad thing. All I can think of is that people on this hellsite would genuinely buy Bisexual Biden chocolate. There would be memes. People buying entire bags of Bisexual Bidens because people would think that's the funniest shit they've seen in the last week. Strange how one man's nightmare is another person' Tumblr post.

"No, no you cannot keep her with you 24/7 or not expect her to do things of her own. My wife isn't with me for 6 months out of a year, I do not demand to know where she is the entire time. She is my wife, I love and trust her. I love her for who she is, I do not possess her for she is her own person. If you don't understand that, the next time I'll see you will be in the fields of punishment for being a toxic asshole."

Tired of love stricken mortals making up a sizable chunk of the underworld’s traffic, Hades decides to help mortals with their love problems before Aphrodite can answer them. It turns out that mortals are a lot more satisfied with Hades’ help than with Aphrodite’s.

Today hasn't been very good. Reblog to cover prev in blankets and tell them everything is going to be okay and they're loved.

"oh sorry, i guess i was infodumping again" - sad, shy, apologetic

"you sly dog, you got me monologuing" - cool, strong, confident

Phantom shows up sometime later and Val tries to shoot him. Given that it looks like a teenager, people who don't like it when kids get hurt (some of the villains have ethical codes, so there's at least some in that group) are extremely alarmed. Phantom ducks into an alley. Out of it ducks Danny.

Val is highly offended, Phantom KIDNAPPED he friend/(ex)boyfriend?!! Cue monologue.

Danny is just quietly wandering around, looking at the JL and villains. Sometimes he stares right into their eyes for a minute. It's highly uncomfortable. Sometimes he sniffs them. It's very weird. When he's done with his examination, he takes out his phone and starts scrolling.

Val eventually takes a deep breath, and asks what Danny is doing there. Danny says that Phantom thought that he had a better chance of convincing Val to come with them back home. Val argues that she can't until she knows who the heroes are. Danny declares that he knows which are the heroes and which are the villains.

Everyone is gobsmacked. This kid, from wandering around and looking at people, knows who's who? Everyone is sweating, hero and villain alike. Danny tucks his phone into his pocket and starts pacing.

"So, the majority of heroes generally have emblems on their costumes, but as both groups have it, and yes there are definitely groups, look at who the glance at and angle themselves towards, it is not a definitive marker. So! We must turn towards a different source. Colour theory! Looking at the overall group formations, the majority of people wearing bright colours are that group," Danny indicated the heroes, "while the others," he indicated the villains, "have a darker colour scheme. That, of course, is not enough to go off of. After all, tall dark and scary over there," Danny indicated Batman, "Wears almost entirely black and gray despite being part of the bright colour group. There is one factor, that I believe all of you failed to consider," Danny stopped his pacing and paused.

Silence reigned in the torn streets. "What is it?" Val asked.

Danny pulled out his phone again, unlocked it, and held up the screen. "Google search of this world's heroes. It turned up a Justice League which is made up of individual heroes who've come together to protect this planet. These," he gestured widely to the colourful medley that made up the Justice Leauge, "Are the heroes,"

Everyone's breath is held as they watch Val's reaction. She turns towards the heroes. "I'm sorry for attacking you, I didn't know who was who. Danny, could you please start untying them?" They release a collective breath.

Danny moved towards Batman first, who stood up and showed that his ropes were already untied. Danny moved towards a different hero and started helping them instead while Batman started to untie others.

"What about the cops, Danny?"

Danny turned towards Val.

"Acab,"

DP x DC Prompt that struck my brain in a funny way #9

Valerie Gray did not notice the portal in front of her. She really should’ve paid more attention when chasing Phantom through the Ghost Zone. She just had to know what he did with those ghosts after he caught them, but she probably should’ve tried a more stealthy approach to it. She would’ve rather talked with him than be in the situation she’s currently in.

Which is being stuck in another world with superheroes and supervillains that are currently fighting each other and she’s been dropped right on the outskirts of this battle. So what does she do?

Dive in headfirst of course, shooting at literary everyone in a desperate attempt to figure out who the hell the superheroes are. Probably not the best way to figure it out, but she has no idea what else to do.

Everyone else is just as confused as Val is when she shows up out of nowhere and decides everyone’s an enemy to her.

"They have black hair and blue eyes, Master Bruce. I do believe that is referred to as the pot calling the kettle a serial adopter, sir."

Danny and Dani and Dan get Alfreded in three fell swoops

So like, sad time, but Alfred dies while Bruce is doing his world tour. He never survived long enough to see Bruce become Batman. Died alone in the Manor, after a particularly nasty fall and a broken neck.

But that was unacceptable.

Master Bruce, insufferable boy, could not lose another paternal figure in his life. Also the Manor was still a mess, and Bruce would need someone to make sure he didn't accidentally poison himself.

So he hid his corpse on the Manor grounds, and got to work.

And he was so glad he stayed; sure, it had taken a bit to stop glowing, but really the floating thing was amazingly helpful in reaching the chandelier, and after Master Bruce had returned he had gotten so many grandchildren.

Fast forward; Danny defeated Pariah Dark, he is Crown Prince of the Infinite Realms, Dan is attempting reformation and is technically a Prince by relation, and Dani is attempting to be Dan's parole officer and is definitely a Princess 100% she never forgets that no sir.

And Danny gets approached by some of the Observants, and they tell him that there is a very powerful ghost in Gotham, one that fully and completely blends in with humans and really needs to come to the Infinite Realms to complete his paperwork. But whenever they show up, this ghost thinks that they're there to force him to stay in the Infinite Realms.

And he kicks their asses.

Brutally.

For a bit he had a tiny kid ghost with him kicking their asses as well, but the kid randomly disappeared one day.

The Observants very clearly outline that this ghost is not Gotham herself, although the tax-evading criminal has been seen having tea with her.

Danny has no desire to deal with this; he just graduated high school and needs to focus on what college he's going to choose, so if Dan or Dani want to throw hands with some weird Gotham Ghost then by all means. Fuck taxes anyways, what did the Zone even take for taxation, what-?

So Danny splits his time college hunting and trying to find out how tax laws work in the Ghost Zone.

Dani goes to the old man first, and Alfred promptly sits her down and gives her cookies and hot chocolate, treats her like the kid she's never been treated like between Vlad and all of the Zone focusing on the Princess thing, and she feels at home for the second time in her half-life.

Dani gets a call from a nervous Observant, and promptly tells him she isn't going back either so nyah.

Dan goes to pick her up, and Alfred asks him if he is quite alright, he looks rather tense, and that if it is a fight he wants then the Justice League could probably use a new member, after all Alfred knows an upstanding young man when he sees one, and clearly Dan just needs a chance to prove to himself that he can be good.

Just like another young man Alfred knows.

Dan gets a call from a nervous Observant, and tells them that he's a little busy stopping an alien invasion, and is a tentative member of the Justice League now so he doesn't have time for their bullshit.

Also fuck taxes.

Finally, Danny has no choice.

He goes to drag this random old man and his little sister back to the Zone himself.

Alfred takes one look at him and slowly slides a flier for Gotham University across the kitchen island.

"Your younger sister speaks well of you," the dead butler says, eyes beaming, "and I believe that, given what she has said, you qualify for one of the Wayne Educational Grants for a full ride, so to speak."

Alfred never gets dragged into the Ghost Zone, although eventually he does learn that they weren't trying to drag him into the Land of the dead but were just trying to get him to do paperwork.

He never goes.

Bruce, however, is very fucking confused as to where these strange kids came from.