Burn My Bones And Liquidfy My Organs But What Hurt More Than The Pain In That Moment Will Be The Memory

I Am Dazai Ch 7

Where do you think skk currently stand with each other now? Reading the lns and then rereading the manga, I was honestly surprised with how openly Chuuya showed concern for Dazai whenever he got hurt during the Lovecraft fight. It feels like their dynamic has shifted from when they were kids, but it's hard to pinpoint what exactly.

Ohhh boy thanks for the ask, anon!

I think right now they stand in a place where their dynamic from when Dazai left the mafia shines through, despite Dazai's "betrayal". That being said, we don't really know what that dynamic was. Dark Era has 0 Chuuya in it, and I don't think that's unintentional on Asagiri's part. I think he wants us to wonder a little bit more before he tells that part of their story. He literally said as much in the Stormbringer afterword, after all. My guess is that they've gotten to the point where they both understood they didn't actually hate each other, quite the opposite, in fact. Still too young and stubborn to actually talk about it, but I do think they consciously considered each other friends and partners in more than just the teamup Mori thrust them into. We see Dazai hides less and less of his affection toward Chuuya when no one who's opinion he cares about is looking. And in the Dead Apple manga adaptation we get to see a little more of Dazai and Chuuya. Dazai only gets off his ass when Chuuya calls him out on it. And Dazai trusts Chuuya to figure out his plan and come rescue him. Hell he lets Chuuya pass out on his lap afterward, a clear parallel to the ending of Dead Apple. That particular moment shows us that this kind of thing happened quite often, a natural progression to them using Corruption as a tactic and the ending we saw in Stormbringer, when Dazai caught Chuuya and let his true affection shine through in the moment when Chuuya couldn't hear him. Again, we know nothing of 17 and 18 year old soukoku, but if we follow that progression to its conclusion, then Dazai and Chuuya started to trust each other more, become closer as partners and friends, be less afraid of showing it to one another.

And then Dazai left, and Chuuya was fucking devastated.

Here's the boy who not only dragged Chuuya into the mafia, but who became the first person to treat him as a human being, not a tool that could be used and discarded when need be. The Sheep didn't do that. Rimbaud never did that. Mori was frank when he said he saw all his subordinates, including himself, as tools. But Dazai was the one who said that Chuuya could do what he wanted with his power. It was Dazai who made sure to never force Chuuya to use Corruption when he could, to give him a choice, from the very beginning. That's why Chuuya trusted him. And then Dazai, who joined the mafia alongside him partly because he wanted to live long enough to have Chuuya by his side, left him and the entirety of the Mafia. It's only inevitable that Chuuya saw it as a betrayal.

There's a whole analysis of 18 to 22 year old Chuuya I could do, what he was like after Dazai's betrayal, how he became the person he is now, but that would take. So long. Maybe later.

Anyway then Dazai shows up in the Port Mafia's basement and is like "hey whatsup don't get me wrong I still don't like you also remember how we used to be partners?" And Chuuya is clearly hiding A Lot of Feelings but he plays along and lets Dazai go, along with the information Dazai needed.

I think Dazai and Chuuya see their relationship quite differently. Because Dazai never saw his leaving the Mafia as him leaving Chuuya. Hell, look how he talks to Akutagawa vs Chuuya. He literally tells Akutagawa that Atsushi is his replacement. He never does that with Chuuya, hell, he keeps reminding Chuuya of their partnership. Literally tells him that Dazai's second reason was that he wanted to see Chuuya again. That it was a "reunion long in the making". I have a feeling Dazai also got caught cause he wanted to see what Chuuya would do. And Chuuya lets him go! With information! They bicker and bully each other like old times, it's better than he could have hoped!

Anyway. To Dazai, Chuuya is still the same old Chuuya as the one he left behind when they were 18.

As we said before, Chuuya sees it differently. He's clearly still bitter about it, saying that Dazai "made a fool of everyone, be it friend or foe". Like, he's clearly talking about Dazai leaving here. Chuuya's clearly hurt because he trusted someone, and again, that trust was met with a betrayal. He doesn't know what to make of this "new Dazai", doesn't trust him, because he sees Dazai be merciful and kind and that's not what he remembered Dazai to be like. And if Dazai was secretly a good, kind person the whole time, why would he leave Chuuya like that? Did that mean Chuuya just wasn't worth that kindness? So their interactions so far have been about Dazai testing and building back up that trust and partnership they had beforehand. Showing up in that basement to tease him. Letting Chuuya choose to use Corruption. Getting himself "killed" by Shibusawa, putting his own trust forward that Chuuya would come for him.

Also, they're not teenagers anymore! They're adults! Which means they can process their feelings in a more mature way! So Dazai is way more overt with his fondness for Chuuya, he's got the guts to call him "buddy" to himself. He seems to understand his own feelings for Chuuya a little more. His little conversation with Akutagawa before Shin Soukoku's fight with Fukuchi? You can't tell me that's not Dazai understanding his loyalty to Chuuya and seeing that same partnership in Atsushi and Akutagawa.

"You'll save him. You know the reason yourself, don't you?" Like bitch kill me now just

AND THEN AKU FUCKING DIES JUST SO ATSUSHI CAN ESCAPE I CAN'T.

If Dazai is modeling Shin Soukoku off of his partnership with Chuuya, then you know exactly how he feels about it. It means a whole heck of a lot to him.

And now we have an arc where Dazai's one true enemy is using Chuuya like a glorified pet bodyguard. I keep thinking of that line he said to Aku and, like, I'm 99% sure Dazai would die for Chuuya if he had to? (wow Dazai please don't die).

Meanwhile Chuuya's feelings a little less clear but I'm getting a "I want to trust Dazai even though I know I shouldn't cause he left me behind before what makes me think he won't do it again?" Please, Asagiri, I need to see this boy's crisis when Dazai left. I need it.

Note that all of this is mostly just speculation I infodumped in this ask, but if we're talking canonically, their relationship seems to be heading into a moment when they both need to deside how important they are to each other, admit it to each other, epecially with Dazai finally admitting that he cares a heck of a lot for Chuuya. In terms of shipping, their maturity makes them understand their own feelings for each other more. Dazai is no longer so intimidated by his giant obsession crush, and Chuuya can understand why he needs Dazai in his life, even after all the betrayal and the hurt. This is just a fun little thing, but the current jailbreak arc kind of reminds me of that moment where Adora needed to fight Catra to bring her back home:

Okay okay I'll stop typing now.

Here's the piece I did to accompany @naometry's BM Joker fic, The Dancing Puppet, for the @traitorszine !! Thank you so much for doing this with me Nao, it was a awesome working with you on this AU (⌒▽⌒)♡

what'd you do last night?

i was all in my mind.

Hell yeah

TOMORROW IS CHRISTMAS EVE!!!

Tonight's full moon, half an hour before the partial lunar eclipse, 9:20PM EST!

Taken with a 10in MEADE telescope through a 35 mm eyepiece.

Akutagawa 🥺

The only reason I don’t draw or write about aku that much is because I know damn well if I dive into him I’m gonna love him and get sucked into a rabbit hole that will emotionally destroy me. But this was fun to draw.

This is true in the case of other crimes as well, but the key to deceiving one’s enemy is to suppress one’s own emotions and to act entirely contrary to ordinary human nature. Because humans tend to judge the thoughts of others against their own, once they make a mistaken judgment, they do not notice their own error.

Edogawa Ranpo, “The Ghost” from The Early Cases of Akechi Kogorō

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The End!

Thank you for reading! I hoped you liked this story. It was meant as something short and fun and I hope I achieved that.

Also, with this my adventure with BSD ends. Well, not entirely, we still have manga, and that movie, and short novels and hopefully another season of the anime... But yes, that's it for my work in this fandom.

Thank you all for being here with me.

I have a short The Owl House comic in works. First pages will be up soon for my supporters on Kofi and the whole comis will be posted in parts [just like this one] on TOH-truth-or-dare.

I'm too sad to eat! 😭