Is It Worth It?

This rings so true today

There are days were the heaviness in my chest is so strong that I want to crawl under the bed or be unconscious for a while till the heaviness lifts off.

Is it always going to be like this?

Not a lot of people talk about GAD but it’s a real and deep struggle on its own

#anxiety #breathless

I am okay

I am okay

I am okay

I am okay

I am okay

I am okay

I am okay

I am okay

I am okay

I am okay

I am okay

You have to say it at-least ten times before your brain registers it

Do not quit!

What does that mean?

Why stay in a place, in something that brings you no joy, that brings mostly negative emotions without trying to find something new.

I choose to be brave, to take a leap and be hopeful that

It will all work out, that everything will be okay.

That I will be fine.

I have a different fear

It’s the fear that if this love dies, I won’t find another love, I won’t grow to be very comfortable in a new love, can this new love be trusted?

I am afraid of new love

Very few things

Very few things feel good these days and if they do they last just for a bit, it’s most dire at night, when the sun goes down and the lights are out and there is only you, just about to take a pause on consciousness that’s when the shortness of breath, the ever present pain in your back, the heaviness in your chest all raise their voices and then you try, really try to think about things that feel good and you realize there are afew things, but just very few things.

An aerial view of one of the busiest cities in West Africa, Lagos, Nigeria

Photographed by Wale Adebisi [@waleadebisiphotography]

MY HEART 😭💜