Bilbo Has No Concept Of What He’s Doing.

My compliments to the chef 🤤

The King Under the Mountain

A drawing of Thorin that baby Dis got ahold of and added some important details that the artist left out (sorry Dis)

Sometimes I think about when I was a brand new baby my parents snuck me into a screening on LOTRs inside my mums jacket and one of my first baby memories is fucking Moria 💀

An adult king btw smh,

Shocking and Tragic! he was forced to take spoonful of medicine when he was 200

Hello, this is a picture I drew of me drawing a picture of myself 👍🏻

Yes that is just a sticker of Kilis stupid little face.

Anyway I’m gonna go shower and clean my room at midnight because I’m well adjusted like that

Do not look at me like that with that cunty little expression sir.

If there’s one thing that motivates me to draw it’s my dumb ass art from two/three years ago.

I really thought I ate with that first one.

Just gonna.. just gonna squeeze in here

The math is mathing

It’s been a while some here’s some more dwobbit Frodo

Headcanons/my canon with this version of Frodo

-Frodo loves the rookery and spends a lot of time up there, sharing Bilbos biscuits with his feathered friends

-Thorin makes Frodo a sword with a mithril core called Khazinul, or the silent fang. Light enough for his half Hobbit son to wield with terrifying speed and in near total silence.

-Frodo is never likely to become king unless it is for a very short time towards the end of his life, he will likely step out of succession all together unless something happens to both Fili and Kili. And as such Kili trains him to be Filis other guard and the pair of dark haired Durin men look like slinking shadows behind the future golden king of Erebor and so they are given the name ‘Dûmkhaz’ or ‘twin shadows’

-it wasn’t long after Erebor was reclaimed that Frodo came into the world and Thorin couldn’t justify dressing his son up too much while his people were still finding their footing so he got a lot of very over sized hand me downs, the only new items he got where knitted by Ori

Hey so what if Bilbo fully just drove Sting up through Azogs chest on the Karak and that was the end of it?

I love time travel AUs so much so let me just…

Avenge the living.

Tw: graphic depictions of battle (very graphic)

Bilbo watched in horror as Thorin was flung across the outcrop like a rag doll, hitting the flat rock like a body on a sacrificial stone, at best he had the wind knocked out of him, at worst he’d have a broken back.

Last time this had all happened he’s managed to walk away but Bilbo honestly couldn’t remember if he had fallen like that before. He cringed and steeled himself.

In the black speech Azog summoned a minion almost his own size to behead Thorin.

Last time it had all been flailing, desperate chaos, this time Bilbo sucked in a deep breath and sprinting, sword forward and close to his side until the final moment where he thrust Sting up and in, somewhere between the orcs floating rib, he yanked upwards on the handle of the blade and heard the putrid popping and sloshing as he rended the side of his blade though the orcs central mass, all it could do was look shocked for two seconds before collapsing dead on top of the king. Bilbo hadn’t turned his sword to catch in the orcs ribs and easily pulled it free. It stunk of the guts it had just shorn through and Bilbo tried not to wretch, he didn’t have time, in two more seconds the company would decent and this would be Bilbos only chance.

He had to kill the white orc. Tonight.

When the fighting began Bilbo was glad to see that for the remainder of his last life what small amount of practice he had kept up with a blade had done him good and sting felt all to right in his hands so when he came nose to nose with the great Worg matriarch that Azog rode upon, Bilbo suprised even himself when he thrust his sword up, piercing the monster from the chin up into her brain, the beast didn’t even howl, she just crumbled, Azogs eyes went wide as he toppled.

The rest of the company continued to dispatch the remaining orcs and Bilbo knew it would be only seconds until the great eagles arrived. It didn’t matter. He had lived his life before and if it ended now it would have been a fine life, full of love and adventure and he would be remembered well.. So while Azog was still freeing himself from under his dead mount Bilbo charged, silent as the grave, leaping onto the Worgs side and propelling himself straight for Azog in what must have looked like a tackle. But he had to intention of grappling the monster, instead he blade shot out again, lower then he would have liked, somewhere around the orcs kidneys, Bilbo assumed. It didn’t matter, he turned the blade vertically and shoved hard and up, until the gash he made in the orcs side was large enough for his hands to regrettably follow the blade in.

Oh course it couldn’t be so easy. Azog was a great and terrible warrior and he would not go down without taking someone with him, his prosthetic blade stabbed deep into Bilbos chest.

Everything seemed to grow quiet and slow, Bilbos heart was all he could hear as he starred down at Azog as blood bubbled out of the orcs mouth and Bilbo actually smiled. He wasn’t sure if he said it or thought it but “For Thorin” where the last words to cross the hobbits mind before it all went black.

Lost in that darkness he was sure he could hear people calling his name. Maybe it was the elves, rousing him for tea.. or maybe it was young Frodo, trying to get him to carry on with what ever story he dozed off half way through.

“Bilbo!”

“Burglar!”

No one in Rivendale or the Shire had ever called him.. Burglar.. so where was he?