The Feminine Urge To Dominate Men In Every Single Way

stealing peoples limbs is not very christ like

Dad: I'm dragon

Mom: dragon? I hardly know her?

ok so i just got a tumblr and i was reading a really good book and then my brain says “hey lets get on tumblr” and now i regret nothing but it was just very funny. i will update if i do end up regretting.

over dinner my father decided to inform me that poop is mostly plant based so it is vegan. i dont remember if it was all poop or only goat poop.

So I use Flo as my period app and there is this thing called secret chat where you chat anonymously. One of the questions was Any Tips For Someones First Kiss? And

I just love whoever said this. This is how you do it.

holy hell thats cute

Sliding kiss for the win..

(via)

I’m writing a Harry Potter au in my head. So far my favorite change is that There was no Battle of Hogwarts. Instead, a couple years later, when Harry in an auror, he gets an assignment to track down Voldemort. Since he’s so magic dependent when they find him the break his wand and set him on the muggle world. (This is before Hermione is in office). And a couple days later he’s arrested for running around a public park screaming about “why can’t I kill that stupid child!” He later gets shanked and killed in prison after molesting a fellow inmate.

I realized something. I think there is a point in my cycle where I loathe my face. Every other time I’m fine, I am quite pretty, it’s just a 5 day thing.

I WANT TO CLAW OFF MY FACE!!

John Mulaney, a man who is iconically known for loving his wife, after being told by Jerry Seinfeld that his wife only thinks shes good at something

S.A.T.A.N.

Sad

And

Totally

Against

Niceties