Ao3′s Orphaning Option Is Cool And A Good Idea But Mostly Very Fucking Funny. I Posted This Work For

your email has found me on the fucking brink

imagine having a personality so morally bankrupt that the pope himself said "i'm telling god" and headed out

i’m eating up every single fic where mel doesn’t have an emergency contact and frank ends up becoming hers. now i raise you this:

mel at a solo medical conference trip like 3 or 4 hours away? far but not too far

everything is going well she’s learned a ton and made connections and she even did a bit of sightseeing too?

mel & frank has been texting back and forth the whole weekend. abby has the kids so it’s just him & the goldendoodle

on mel’s last day there she ends up going out for dinner by herself, encouraged by frank alongside trinity, samira, victoria, and dennis. it’s nice. she’s not totally alone, she’s facetiming becca and then facetiming frank (so she can see his dog obviously) and it’s so so nice

but on the ride back to her hotel the weather is shit and she ends up in a wreck with her uber driver

she’s okay!!! nothing major beside a head injury and bruises/scrapes and the driver is fine but when she gets to the hospital they end up trying to persuade mel to. All someone because there was no one on her emergency contact list

mel drags her feet and tries to insist she’s okay but they are even more insistent. mel ends up breaking down and calling frank even though it’s the middle of the night and she knows he’s sleeping

he picks up pretty quickly and mel sort of blurts out she was an accident but she’s okay truly (and she is physically but she’s exhausted and overwhelmed and alone in a new place and her brain just keeps on spinning and spinning and spinning)

he promises to come asap and sure enough, by the time mel wakes up a few hours later still in the ER, frank is there. he drove…all the way over…in the middle of the night…and he’s there in pj bottoms and hoodie and beat up sneakers like he really did just wake up, roll out of bed, and leave

when mel sees him—when she sees how his dark strands are sticking up everywhere and his eyes are panicked, she lets him fuss. let’s him look her over and cradle her cheek and sit on the bed and hug her with the exact right pressure

she doesn’t say anything when the nurse assumes he’s her boyfriend and tells mel (very kindly) to add him to her contacts since he proved he would drop everything to be here

she lets frank drive her back to her hotel and settle her in bed

she lets him—no. no, she pulls back the cover and asks him to lay down with her, that he doesn’t have to force himself to sleep on the fold out couch

and then as they lay there next to each other side by side, mel and frank naturally gravitate toward each other, and then mel is curled up against frank’s side and their legs are tangled and he’s bumping his nose against her own and then—and then mel falls asleep to the feeling of hands gentling through her hair and hot lips whispering sweet words in her ear that mel wishes she could understand but she does have a migraine and she’s so sleepy~

not sure if this will make sense to anyone besides me but: the antidote to negativity is not positivity, its warmth

Nietzsche believed that you’ve gotta be able to think about suicide before you can move beyond wanting to kill yourself because only once you’ve accepted it as an option can you make the choice not to do it, and the alternative, to deny the urge and ignore it, would inevitably cause you to cave to the unaddressed desire you have for it.

And the dude was right. 

The rogue’s gallery of psych students and junior practitioners on this hellsite have hijacked my post about not being mean to yourself to explain to people how actually what I’m talking about is cognitive-behavioral therapy, and how it involves disciplining yourself to never talk negatively about yourself and how it’s important to check with a therapist that you’re doing it correctly, and like, this is why I don’t trust and can’t stand these people.

Being your own friend is a holistic process, there aren’t exercises you can do or therapy methods you can apply, which is why most people relapse almost immediately after stopping CBT or DBT, because they haven’t actually made any progress in how they look out for themselves, they were merely thrust into a disciplinary regimen where they are taught to engage in habits which their therapist then holds them accountable to, and so, without that therapist, they fall apart again.

Not being mean to yourself doesn’t mean censoring self-deprecating humor, it doesn’t mean snapping a rubber band on your wrist when you have a negative thought, it means taking time to sit down and think about yourself as if you were another person, to really take stock of who you are from as objective a perspective as you can muster, and if you really want to grow, realizing that this person you see can’t grow if the person closest to them, which is you, spends all their time berating them and making them feel like shit.

Being friends with yourself is not a series of therapeutic exercises, it’s challenging yourself to evaluate why you’re a dick to yourself in a way you aren’t to other people, or maybe you are a dick to other people, and maybe you want to be a dick to yourself, which is goofy as fuck, but if you’re still suffering, maybe ask yourself why the fuck you want to be such a dick, the answers may surprise you.

often the choice comes down to eat a meal and shower or kill yourself

“actually the term you’re looking for is pansexual” actually i’m dying right now. i am dying right now before your very eyes and those are the last words i had to read before my soul vacates this plane of existence forever. Are you proud of yourself