Yes, I Understand The Divine Comedy Is All About Dante Being Upset About Being Exiled From Florence,

Pro-Lifer’s Ableism

So called pro lifers claim to care so much about disabled people just, because they screech about people who get abortions because the fetus has Down syndrome, but don’t say a word when caregivers murder disabled people. They also want to cut benefits for disabled people (which are difficult enough to qualify for and are extremely punitive) and stand by while disabled people lose custody of their children, because of their disabilities. 

Plus, their creepy fetus worshipping stance means they’d let me die if a wanted pregnancy goes very wrong (e.g. ectopic pregnancy, sepsis, preeclampsia). And they don’t acknowledge the hundreds of disabled people (especially disabled POC) who were sterilized against their will. 

In short, they are hypocritical jerks who honestly don’t give a shit about disabled people. 

This is so accurate!

me *submitting a paper 5 minutes before the due date without proofreading it *: alea iacta est

This is pure comedy gold.

If the Romans Had Outgoing Voice Messages

Caesar: Hey it's Julius. I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number I'll - Antony! What the HELL are you doing?? Don't touch that!

Antony: Yo, it's Antony. If you call back and I don't answer, it means I can't answer. Send a text. I might read it. If it can be said in text, then for the love of God, text.

Brutus: Hi! It's Brutus. Um, I'm really super sorry I couldn't get the phone, I swear I'll call you back as soon as I can. Um, if you wanna call my work phone it's xxxxxxxxxx. I'll respond, probably, I might be busy and I can't take personal calls unless it's an emergency but I can try - (BEEP)

Cassius: Hey if this is Octavian bothering me again I swear to God I will punch your fucking lights out. If this is anyone else call back later

Pompey: it's Pompey. Call back later.

Octavian: The person you have dialed is unable to receive your call. Please call back later or leave a message after the tone.

Cato: Alexia? Alexis? Alexa! How did I work this? Alexa won't turn on! This is Cato

Can I Copy Your Homework? Kotor II Edition

I’ll Help You With It: Mical, Jedi Exile

Yeah, Sure: Bao-Dur, Visas Marr

Bold of You to Assume I Did the Homework: Atton Rand, Mira

LOL, Nope: Brianna, Tee-Three, Canderous Ordo

Wait, We Had Homework: HK-47

Read at 5:55 P.M.: Kreia, Hanharr

Ancient Romans’ Ideal Dates

Mark Antony: A day at the Circus Maximus, followed by bathhouse sex. 

Julius Caesar: A private tour of the new arena he sponsored, then a discreet dinner at his client’s house. 

Cassius: Dinner at a restaurant he picked at the last minute. 

Brutus: A romantic candlelit dinner at his house. 

This is very true. 

Shepard discovering that Archangel is Garrus:

Best game idea ever!

re-skinning Monopoly to be about ancient Rome

instead of going to jail, you get exiled to Scythia

passing Go represents the bribes you collect every election season

instead of owning property on city blocks, you own land in various provinces

Boardwalk and Park Place ==> Egypt and Syria

Baltic and Mediterranean ==> Britannia Prima and Britannia Secunda

instead of houses and hotels, villae and latifundia

instead of railroads, just roads 

water works ==> bathhouse

electric company ==> amphitheater 

free parking ==> forum

income tax ==> wealth tax

re-skinned Chance and Community Chest cards:

“You have been elected Aedile – pay each player 50 denarii”

“Get out of Exile Free”

“Saturnalia Fund Matures – Collect 100 denarii”

“Greek Theater Night – collect 50 denarii from every player for opening night seats”

“Land Tax Refund – collect 20 denarii”

“Receive 25 denarii in bribes”

Does being a bisexual pagan count? :P

today is byron’s birthday which means it’s time to do your most, your worst, and cause scandal.

don’t disappoint him

Thank you for providing assistance to us non-tech savvy people. 

I love how the search function on this site is absolute garbage. I can look up a post word for word and I will NEVER find it

Sounds fairly accurate to how they responded in real life surprisingly. 

Antony: oh my God, they killed Caesar!

Cleopatra: You bastards!!