Me: *pours My Heart And Soul Out About How The Trans Healthcare System Traumatized Me By Doing Some Fucked

I'm not saying I'm mentally ill, but today I bought a new teddy bear because I had been looking at it for a couple weeks and finally caved into the temptation. Yet the moment I put it down on my bed, I felt an overwhelming urge of guilt and disgust and the need to throw it away and apologize to my old, trusty teddy. And now the new one won't stop looking at my with its devilish eyes and I actually want to get rid of it even though it's like brand-new but I also DO NOT want to touch that thing anymore.

quick rant, cw for slight nsfw but nothing graphic or overly explicit, just mentions of nsfw stuff. but WHY THE FUCK do I keep getting people saying that they have "species dysphoria" over not getting to be a dragon or some other animal or creature, and not only that, but then EQUATE IT TO ME FEELING GENDER DYSPHORIA??? AND SOMEHOW IMPLYING WE'RE EQUALS???

Hell naw. Your ass did not cry yourself to sleep every night at 13 because you didn't have a tail, or because you had skin instead of scales. You didn't spend your entire adolescence suicidal because you have human genitals that match your agab instead of whatever fantasy cock you want to have.

I know this will come across as incredible rude, and people will feel invalidated. I'm not saying you're a bad person for wanting to be another species, or being a furry, or anything of the sorts... but don't equate it to gender dysphoria, and don't try to imply that we're equal in terms of dysphoria or feeling that your body doesn't match.

also on an ending note: why is wanting to be a dragon or a wolf or whatever with a cock the length of your torso considered "dysphoria" or something that actually causes you to suffer, but I get reprimanded for wishing I was just a cis straight dude and could fuck a girl every now and then. Like somehow I'm the bad guy for wanting that but people can say they wish they were a werewolf with a 20" inch and claim they feel the same dysphoria as I do over that.

this 1000%. I've seen trans women upset that they aren't included in rape shelters and the like and their reasoning doesn't go much beyond parroting "trans women are women" and "muh inclusion". Are these people really too dense to understand the difference between a hair salon and a rape shelter? ffs.

I blame cis people for this, but I don't think that transfem people should be centered in conversations around 'Women's Issues'. The truth is that most queer people are misunderstanding what 'Women's Issues' actually are. They try to make it inclusive by claiming that transfems and transwomen are welcome, that if you identify as a woman then clearly 'Women's Issues' apply to you too.

And we can argue that transfems are in need of reproductive justice too, because of course they are. But when you claim that abortion is a 'Women's Issue', you're not helping transwomen and transfems, you're still being an exclusionist piece of shit.

I don't think transfeminine people should be centered in this discussion because these AREN'T issues that only women go through. Reproductive justice is important, but not when it excludes the transmen and transmascs who get raped, sold & married off, & forcibly detransitioned just so they can bare children. I don't care that you 'don't feel included' by white cis feminists when they talk about 'Women's Issues', because you're not the one being denied an abortion for having an M on your ID. Or being denied an abortion, period!

'Look at how uninclusive this event about Women's Rights is!' And what the fuck are YOU going to do about it when you get into this little club by climbing over the bodies of your trans brothers? Come the fuck on!

I'm so sick of 'Women's Issues'. I'm so sick of 'female' spaces' biggest issue being that they exclude transfems, & not that they're actively hostile towards transmascs who NEED these services.

Inclusion is important, but not when it means forming an exclusive little clique that leads to more death. This isn't your conversation to lead.

Parents gave me a "kayleigh" type of name and getting to change it to something normal may just be the only good thing I gained from being trans

Looked up my new (kinda shitty) job's company and I get shit like this.... Not too surprised. Company ideology like that seeps into all branches, no matter how big or small, how high-up or "lower level employee"...

It's like nowhere in the world is it truly "safe" or good anymore.. At this point I assume that every single big company has donated to war criminals, racists, or homophobes unless very explicitely stated otherwise, which I haven't encountered yet.

considering ripping/stabbing it apart, and using its insides to stuff up my old teddy bear again.... but would that be the right thing? Use parts of the Bad(tm) creature for the Good creature?

I'm not saying I'm mentally ill, but today I bought a new teddy bear because I had been looking at it for a couple weeks and finally caved into the temptation. Yet the moment I put it down on my bed, I felt an overwhelming urge of guilt and disgust and the need to throw it away and apologize to my old, trusty teddy. And now the new one won't stop looking at my with its devilish eyes and I actually want to get rid of it even though it's like brand-new but I also DO NOT want to touch that thing anymore.

is there a gender for "I don't give a fuck anymore so long as I get to have a cock instead of the fuckery I have now"? Asking very explicitly for myself

This 100%. Why is it always "awwww but I'd miss you so much" and never like.... something that would actually matter to me, or would benefit me. Even just a "I'm sorry you'll never get to live life to the fullest" or "I'm sorry for everything you got robbed off" because at least that's about ME, the actual person, and not about the relation I have towards other people

It's cruel that others expect me to keep living a life of suffering just because it'd make them feel bad if I died

Trans & disabled community: "you shouldn't have to proof to anyone you're valid! Fuck the medical system and doctors mistreating us! You don't need proof of your suffering, only you know your true pain!"

Me: "Well puberty blockers caused me to severely suffer, cause issues I still suffer from years later, and nobody ever beliefs me and sweeps my issues under the rug despite having suffered a great number, and still am." Trans & disabled community: "Okay but like, where's the proof? Why didn't you ever tell that to the doctors?* Actually research proofs that is literally impossible. Have you ever considered you might be the issue here? Like did you even listen to your doctors? Maybe you had some underlying condition?" Me: *stares into the camera as if it's the office* * I did alert the doctors to this, but they either refused to examine me, or also told me that what I was suffering from was simply impossible according to research.

Random thought I've been having for a while now but I'd love to experience the covid lockdowns all over again but as cis.

Like instead of crying over how this means my hrt will get post poned for two more years, I could spend all my days playing videogames and jacking off and generally chilling around, all while you're actually obligated to do so.

Yes I know that all the stuff covid has done is terrible both regarding the disease itself, and the cultural, political, and economic impact it had, but, 16 year old me could've hardly known about that, much less care