Xiv. The Space Between Us

new fanfiction titled TOWARDS YOU coming out this wednesday! stay tuned! <3

with @the-one-and-only-delphi

pretty bitches love me, and ugly hoes hate me !!

xliii. unfinished business

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CHAPTER FORTY-THREE ─ unfinished business.

❛ i've been looking at you since half past two wanna take this downtown? ❜

Choi Eunyoung's Perspective

The moment I opened my eyes, my ears filled with cheery chatter from all directions. Enthusiastic conversations and excited giggles went on all around me. I blinked my eyes rapidly a few times, looking around. Everyone was dressed in orange attire with the Yeonseo University logo. My mind couldn't process anything. Moments ago, I remember being at the hospital where Sunjae died... again. I felt a lump in my throat as I tried to blink back my tears that threatened to spill any second. I looked around frantically in desperate search for the only face I wanted to see at that moment.

Then I found him. My panic ceased for a glorious, fleeting moment while my teary eyes rested on his face. The corners of my lips curled up without me realizing as I saw his resting face. He leaned back on his seat with his eyes closed and features relaxed. He looked as perfect as ever, I thought to myself. The ache in my heart seemed to give way momentarily while my stomach did backflips at this sight. Fluffy hair that cascaded down his forehead just the right way, perfect, pillowy lips...

I snapped myself back to reality. Where was I? On looking around a second time, I finally realized. I was on my university field trip. This realization seemed to form even more questions in my mind. Where was Yumi? Was this my last chance to save Sunjae.

Memories from the future resurfaced as I began to see with a hurtful clarity. The detective had told me in his professional, emotionless tone that the man who was responsible for Sunjae's death, the driver of the truck was none other than Choi Minseok, my father. I knew I was on a train to some countryside location I couldn't quite put my finger on, which meant that I had to maintain composure. I couldn't break down weeping right there no matter how much I wanted to.

It was all so unfair. My dad took everything with him when he left my mom and me. All we had was a shanty apartment that not even he wanted. And now again, here he was, haunting my past, future and my present, taking away my everything.

"Eunyoung!" the girl beside me called out. Turning to look at her, I realized she was Yuri, the one friend I had throughout college who stuck by me through those times. I smiled, feeling nostalgic of my university days, "Did you hear what that guy said?"

"What?"

"God, you are so distracted today!" she observed, sounding slightly concerned, "He said that when two people kiss on the first field trip of Yeonseo University, they always get married later in life! Isn't that insane? Gosh, that's so romantic!"

"That sounds ridiculous!" I chuckled, waving my hand in front of my face, "They just make up stories to entertain us."

"Don't be such a mood-kill!" she said, elbowing me, smiling enthusiastically, "Let's have some fun, yeah?"

"Yeah, of course," I answered her, forcing a smile out of obligation, "We'll have fun for sure."

"Anyone you like from the orientation?" she asked, leaning towards me eagerly.

I went silent for a good couple of seconds, feeling heat rise up my face at the thought of Sunjae.

"Not really," I lied through my teeth, avoiding her gaze and staring out through the window, "Maybe I will once I get to know them better."

Choi Yumi's Perspective

I heaved a sigh. Out of all places, why did I have to end up at m university field trip? I clearly remember it being a disaster. I was a drunken mess and the hangover made me the sickest I had ever been in my life. And this trip was the beginning of four torture-filled years of law school that I loathed. My gaze fell on my neatly folded jacket in my lap. I traced the embroidery that read "Yeonseo University" mindlessly when I noticed the department written below it.

Practical Music

I had to bite back the gasp that nearly escaped my mouth when I realized what it said. How did it suddenly become Practical Music of all things? I had never been so perplexed in my life. Something in the time travel had altered my reality and now I was a Music major. For a moment, it felt like liberation. Like someone had given me the keys to freedom and to happiness. This was my escape. My path to fulfilment. I remembered my lifelong love for music. How I started listening to Eclipse because of it... and now I was here again. Time travelling for the last time, hoping to bring Taesung out of his misery.

I looked around as discretely as I could, scanning the sea of orange-clad freshman and seniors, only looking for a certain someone. The moment I saw his bright smile, my heart threatened to jump out of my chest. My happiness knew no bounds, seeing him laugh with the Eclipse members.

It was undoubtable, my love for Taesung and for music were always intertwined. It was fate all along. Perhaps I had a chance. How silly it was that his beautiful smile was enough to turn me into this foolish optimist? 

Everything reminded me of my mother. How she spent hours in the front yard with her cup of coffee and biscuits writing lyrics endlessly. The various times she would read out poetry to me were all so vivid in my mind. They played in front of my eyes like flashbacks of an old movie tape that was so worn out from watching over and over again. For a moment, I felt contended. That maybe she was watching over me from heaven, feeling proud that I was-perhaps, fulfilling her dream that she couldn't.  

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nana's notes: i'm SO excited for this part of the story. you guys aren't ready🤭

delphi's notes: yumi's confusion is so funny lmfao she's always so lost

next chapter: saturday list of chapters here!

xxix. blackout

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CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE ─ blackout.

❛ life is emotionally abusive and time can't stop me quite like you did ❜

Choi Yumi's Perspective

My eyes scanned my surroundings. White walls, busy chattering, phones ringing everywhere and a sense of urgency and busyness in the air. A police station. I looked down at myself. I was back in my formal attire- trousers, white shirt, blazer, that kind of stuff. Although I may have looked normal on the outside, I felt weird. I had never felt this way since my first day of work, and I could scarcely describe the feeling. Everything seemed new, and foreign, even though it was the same work I had done for most of my adult life. Maybe it was nostalgia because of the strange ache and longing in my heart.

Being a lawyer wasn't something I enjoyed. In fact, the last thing I enjoyed... I don't even want to think about it. I would feel a rush of adrenaline after winning a case, then the sense of emptiness would soon return to engulf me. It was an endless cycle that I was stuck in. 

There are certain cases that I receive that require me to go to the police station. This was one of them. I fiddled my thumbs anxiously- as if it was my first day on the job. I felt like an idiot; Which usually means something out of the ordinary was about to happen, so I braced myself accordingly. I had previously met the police when they came to my law firm, but today I had to meet a detective because it was a case of murder.

All of a sudden, an extremely familiar fragrance hit my nose. It came so unexpectedly that I nearly convinced myself that I was imagining it; but the reality was so evident. Slightly woody notes, like sun-warmed cedarwood and a sudden freshness, as if I was standing on a beach at dawn. The air around me was left fresh and alive and the scent was intoxicating and my mind wandered back to the first time I smelled it. It was almost as if I was back in high school, standing in the perfume shop, carefully picking out the perfect present.

I stood up, and taking a second to steady myself, I turned around rapidly to find myself face to face with a face even more familiar than the fragrance. I was met with those same beady cat eyes, but they seemed to have lost their spark. Kim Taesung. A voice in my head whispered his name, trying to grasp the reality in front of me. His disheveled hair had become tamer, and his bright and colorful apparel was replaced with hues of grey and black with a splash of olive green. He looked dull and dejected, and the glint of mischief had disappeared from his eyes. I had recognized him instantly, because his face had been imprinted in my mind. The rapid beating of my heart sounded in my ears, just like it had fifteen years ago. Yet, he looked like a completely different person. It was like someone had switched off the lights inside him.

"Choi Yumi?" he said it like a question mark, his eyebrows raised slightly.

"Do you two know each other?" the police officer behind him asked, confused. For a moment, his words his words faded away and I stood entranced before Kim Taesung, staring blankly. I felt the same I had the first time I saw him. But now, there was a rift between us that was too evident. He seemed so far away even though he was right in front of me. Something that was once new, fresh and full of hope had withered like flowers during the winter. 

"It's been a while," I said, snapping out of my trance, my lips curling upwards ever so slightly. My hand reached up subconsciously to rub the back of my neck.

He simply nodded, shifting his gaze at the ground and his effort to keep it professional was evident, and I would have laughed if I could, but I kept my lips zipped shut when the sound disappeared on the tip of my tongue.

The police officer who I had previously met (who's name I had already forgotten) looked at me curiously, probably hoping I could answer his earlier question.

"We went to the same high school," I told him curtly, plastering a fake smile and turning to look at Taesung, but never meeting his gaze. My eyes glazed over the badge on his jacket. Violent Crimes Division. It felt surreal that he had become a detective- just like his dad. 

Then, suddenly, our eyes met, and time seemed to freeze that exact moment. They're so dull. I thought to myself. I couldn't get over how depressed his eyes looked, like the spark had disappeared. They looked like they were crying out for help. It pained me to look at him that way, and a small part of me pointed an accusing finger at me. Was it my fault? Another voice in my head said that it was unfair. And that he didn't deserve to feel sad. I watched as his eyes shifted to the scar on my face, then shifted back to my eyes, as if he couldn't bear to look at my eyes. The look of pity on his face made me want to cry and scream.

I tore my eyes away, looking at the other police officer. I stole a quick glance at his badge, then said with my best professional smile, "Shall we begin?"

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nana's notes: not yumi forgetting the other police officer's name 😭✋

delphi's notes: and this kids is why adulthood fucking suuuucks.(this pair of adults are not the best example though)

next chapter: saturday (out now!) list of chapters here!

x. a taste of victory

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CHAPTER TEN ─ a taste of victory.

❛ where's the trophy? he just

comes running over to me. ❜

Narrator's Perspective

"By the way," Inhyuk said to Sunjae the morning of the swimming competition, "Where is your Eunyoung today?"

Your Eunyoung. The moment those words fell upon Sunjae's ears, he beamed, flashing the dimple on his right cheek. His face turned pink, recalling the events of the previous evening.

"Oh, dear," Inhyuk expressed, "You should look at yourself right now! You're completely in love with her!"

"She's coming to cheer for me," Sunjae told him proudly, "She was telling me to take it easy and not participate, but when she told me that she'd come today, she seemed to have faith in me. So, I'll make sure not to let her down."

"You can't seem to stop yapping when it comes to her," Inhyuk observed, a cheeky smile surfacing on his face, "Don't tell me she's the reason you're competing today!"

"It's not like that!" Sunjae exclaimed defensively, "It's just... another reason to do well. That's it."

Inhyuk shook his head in disappointment. Sunjae was the last person he expected to fall for someone and act like a total loser.

But, after all, we're all fools in love.

💿

Minutes ticked by, each one echoing like a hammer blow in the tense silence before the competition. Sunjae, clad in his racing suit, felt a familiar knot of anxiety tighten in his stomach. He scanned the crowd, searching for a familiar face amidst the sea of spectators. Doubt, a cold serpent, began to coil around his heart. Would she make it? Had something happened? His focus, so meticulously honed, threatened to shatter.

Then, just as despair threatened to consume him, a splash of pink cut through the cacophony of pre-race jitters. There, in the stands, was Eunyoung. His face broke into a radiant smile, a beacon that chased away the shadows of doubt. She wore a soft pink dress, the colour a burst of life against the sterile white walls of the pool complex. A white cardigan draped gracefully over her shoulders, adding a touch of elegance.

As she made her way down the rows, a revelation struck Sunjae. He'd never truly noticed how tall she was. Even in her simple white flats, she seemed to carry herself with a quiet confidence. Yesterday, on their walk together, her head must have brushed his ear. Suddenly, the way they walked side-by-side, a memory from only a day ago, took on a new meaning. His gaze lingered on her, a wave of warmth washing over him. The familiar knot of anxiety loosened its grip, replaced by a surge of determination. He wouldn't just swim this race, he would win it. For her.

Simultaneously, a smile surfaced on both their faces as their eyes met. She waved at him, mouthing "good luck," as she took a seat in front of the railing that separated the pool and seating area. Behind her was a group of Sunjae's supporters, wearing t-shirts with messages cheering him on and shouting messages of encouragement. Eunyoung's erect posture was just a disguise for her nervousness. Despite her earnest wish for Sunjae to complete this race without injuries, worry rose in her chest. Please prove me wrong, Sunjae.

The pool stretched before her, a shimmering lane of blue below her. In the water, a blur of movement─ that was Sunjae, his powerful strokes propelling him forward with a focused intensity.

This was the final stretch, the culmination of years of gruelling training. Every flick of his wrist, every powerful kick, echoed in Eunyoung's chest. A tendinous strain, a cramp, a single misstep – any of these could shatter Sunjae's dreams of gold. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing her anxieties away, willing him strength.

Then, the electronic board pinged, and the crowd erupted in a deafening roar. Eunyoung snapped her eyes open, heart leaping into her throat. Sunjae was surging towards the finish, his form flawless, his determination etched on his face. He touched the touchpad a fraction of a second before anyone else, and the stadium lights seemed to dim for a moment before exploding in a kaleidoscope of colours.

Sunjae emerged from under the water, shaking off the hair stuck to his forehead, running his hands down his face, attempting to clear his vision. As he turned to look at the scoreboard, his joy knew no bounds as he saw his name at the top of the list. Letting out a euphoric yelp of victory, he pumped his fists in the air with a triumphant grin on his face.

Eunyoung's eyes had begun to well up with tears of happiness that she couldn't hold back no matter how hard she tried. The shouts from Sunjae's friends and supporters around her muffled as if it was a faraway sound; the only thing she could hear was the excited beating of her heart. She placed a hand over her chest in disbelief at what she had just witnessed.

Sunjae's eyes scanned the stands impatiently, only wanting to look at one person. As their eyes met, his smile widened, the dimple on his right cheek making a reappearance. The tears in Eunyoung's eyes spilt, blurring her vision as she returned his smile, her throat choking with tears. At that moment, the rest of the world seemed to melt away, leaving them alone, their eyes giving a million soliloquies their mouths could never.

Eunyoung's legs propelled her forwards as she ran past the crowd, down the stairs, straight towards Sunjae. It was as if her body had began to move on its own, not wasting a single second on thinking. Her desperation to get rid of the distance between them reflected in her teary, glassy eyes as she stood in front of him, the smile never leaving her face. Their gaze was fixed on each other.

Without a second thought, she reached for him, wrapping her arms around his bare torso that dripped with little droplets of water. She felt her clothes becoming moist, but couldn't care less at that moment. Her embrace enveloped him in warmth as she smiled wider, the joy of his victory a physical force she needed to press against. She couldn't believe it. He had won the gold medal! His fate had taken a turn for the better.

Sunjae's eyes widened at the sudden contact of her soft hands that clung onto him. She hugged him with such force that the deep blue towel he wore fell backwards, exposing his toned shoulders in a moment of vulnerability. The feeling of her soft cardigan against his bare torso and the tiny point of contact of her palms against his back sparked an unexplainable warmth inside him. He coughed out a surprised laugh, the coolness of his moist skin a stark contrast to the fire that flared at her touch. Years of training had honed his muscles, and Eunyoung, clung to him with a possessiveness that sent a shiver down his spine. The shock he felt countered his exhaustion that threatened to pull him under.

He wrapped his arms around her just as fiercely; The weight of the race, the pressure of expectation─ it all melted away in the press of her body against his.  Under the deafening cacophony of cheers, there was only them, her skin tingling against his, a shared victory written in the frantic dance of their heartbeats. He buried his face in her hair, the scent of chlorine and victory mingling with the familiar sweetness of her shampoo, a perfect encapsulation of this overwhelming moment. In that tight embrace, their bodies spoke a language far more profound than any roar of the crowd, a language of love and pride that resonated in the echoing silence of his own racing heart.

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nayoung's notes: okay, taemi content in the next chapter, i promise. kinda got carried away with this lol. its already 1310 words and if i continue i may never stop. also, now that it think about it, the chapter title is implying something entirely different... ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

delphi's notes: sunjae's pov speaks volumes about his feelings. he's down bad guys. who's surprised? not me (but then again i helped decide this lolol)

next chapter: friday (out now!)

list of chapters here!

xvi. my fragile heart

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CHAPTER SIXTEEN ─ my fragile heart.

❛ and i'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you. ❜

Narrator's Perspective

Yumi and Eunyoung stood on the sidewalk, awaiting the arrival of the bus. It seemed like a regular weekday morning to the naked eye, but there was something about them that seemed odd. Eunyoung's face appeared swollen─ especially her eyes; They had a faint red tint and traces of dried tears lingered on her cheeks.

"I heard you last night," said Yumi quietly, "Crying in your room?"

"You must have misheard," Eunyoung's gaze fixed on the ground, "Because I wasn't crying."

Yumi reached for Eunyoung's hand, gripping it tightly. Her sudden action surprised Eunyoung as she looked up at Yumi. "It's going to be okay," Yumi whispered, letting go of her hand gently.

💿

"Here," Taesung mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper. He thrust his hand towards Yumi, the ice cream carton almost falling from his sweaty grip.

Yumi's brow furrowed in confusion. "What's this?"

"Ice cream," he blurted out, forcing a casual tone that sounded more like a croak. His heart hammered a frantic rhythm against his ribs, a stark contrast to the coolness of the ice cream carton. Every fibre of his being screamed "awkward," yet he persevered.

Yumi's gaze flicked between the proffered carton and his face, a flicker of amusement dancing in her eyes. Hesitantly, she reached out and took the ice cream, her fingers brushing against his briefly. "Thanks," she said, a hint of a smile playing on her lips.

A wave of relief washed over Taesung, so suddenly that it almost left him breathless. "You're welcome," he managed, his voice a little steadier now. He fumbled in his pocket, the crinkling sound echoing in the sudden silence, before pulling out another carton.

Yumi stared at his face unblinkingly as he took a bite of the ice cream. 

"You know, you look like a cat."

Taesung's heart lurched in his chest, a sudden skip that made him catch his breath. Her words echoed in his ears, instantly transporting him back to a conversation just a few days ago. The memory flickered to life─ He asked her if she liked cats, and Yumi's smile, the way her eyes crinkled at the corners, the casualness of her words: "I love them."

At that moment, it had seemed like a harmless comment, a shared interest. But now, with the way she spoke it again, a different meaning seemed to shimmer just beneath the surface. Was it just his imagination, or was there a hint of vulnerability, a subtle invitation in her voice? His pulse quickened, a knot of anticipation tightening in his stomach. Could she be hinting at something more? Or was he reading too much into it all?

Ryu Sunjae's Perspective

"Eunyoung, I like you."

My initial smile on seeing Eunyoung at the bus stop faded away as those words in someone's voice─ not his own, fell upon my ears. My eyebrows shot up in a moment of surprise, feeling an ache in my heart while I anticipated her reply.

Eunyoung stood staring at Jihoon's face in shock, too stunned to speak. "Why aren't you saying anything?" he inquired impatiently. My fists clenched, my fingernails digging into my palms as I resisted his urge to step in and intervene.

"Jihoon─" he interrupted her, "I really like you, Eunyoung. Ever since we first met. Will you be my girlfriend?"

A crowd of students had gathered around them, gasping and hooting at his bold confession while i stood watching them from afar, becoming increasingly irritable by the second. Eunyoung's eyebrows furrowed, "I can't go out with you."

There was a murmur of disappointment from the crowd. "Why not?" Jihoon demanded.

I took a step forward, unable to control myself any longer. However, I found myself stopping in my tracks upon hearing Eunyoung's reply, "Because I don't want to." her tone sounded calm, yet cold and firm.

"I don't get it!"

"Listen!" Eunyoung snapped, taking a menacing step towards Jihoon, "I've told you countless times to keep your distance and stay in your lane. I'm going to say this once and for all─ I would rather gauge my eyes out with a spatula than date you. If you come near me one more time, I'm going to file a restraining order against you, I swear to god!"

A smile surfaced on my face. Jihoon took a step back, his ego hurt by her harsh comments. He scoffed arrogantly, shooing the crowd away as he glared at her angrily.

The bus arrived, hissing to a stop. "I didn't expect this from you," Jihoon grumbled.

"I have to go," she said sharply, stepping onto the bus.

I approached the bus, stealing a quick glance at the boy nearby. With a deliberate nudge of my shoulder against his, I trailed behind Eunyoung as we boarded the bus.

I took a seat next to Eunyoung, who was staring out the window, the annoyance still evident on her face. She whipped around to look at me. Her irritation seemed to melt away on seeing me, the corners of her eyes crinkling and her lips stretching into a smile, "Sunjae!" she exclaimed, "How are you doing? I spoke to Inhyuk yesterday, he said you weren't feeling too well."

"I'm much better now," I assured her, my heart skipping a beat on hearing the worry in her voice, "My dad and I have patched things up, and we discussed a date for the surgery with the doctor."

"That's great to hear," she said, relieved, "When's your surgery? I'll make sure to visit you."

"This Saturday," I answered, feeling my face getting warmer, "It's kind of soon, but the doctor thought it was a good idea."

Her lips stretched into a sympathetic smile and I could feel her sincerity as her gaze softened. 

"Good luck, Sunjae. I'm praying the surgery goes well."

There it was again; The melody of her voice, as soft as the summer breeze, echoing in my mind as soon as the sound hit my ears. I had forgotten how to breathe, mesmerized by the girl in front of me. All she had to do was exist, and I would fall for her a little harder every passing second. I could feel myself beaming from ear to ear, mumbling a thank you that could never express my feelings for her. I suddenly became conscious of my behaviours. Was I being too forward? A fake cough, a terrible attempt at concealing my elation escaped my lips. 

"By the way," I sloppily attempted to change the subject, "Who's that guy who asked you out? Do you know him well?"

"You saw that, huh?" she said, smiling in embarrassment, "Not exactly; He used to follow me around. I told him to back off, but he just wouldn't listen. I kind of exploded at him earlier."

"That was a pretty strong insult," I said, chuckling. My happiness knew no bounds on knowing that she didn't like him. 

"You think I was too harsh?" she asked doubtfully.

"I think you put him in his place," I smiled wider, "What type of guys do you like? Do you not like it when they're clingy?"

"Him being clingy wasn't the issue. He was a total douchebag and flirts with everyone. He wasn't exactly the best person you want to be with," said Eunyoung, then looking up at me, "I think I would like someone who's warm-hearted─ someone who doesn't see me as a status symbol. Someone who makes me feel loved."

Sunjae was lost for words. A tiny glimmer of hope bloomed in his heart─ that maybe, just maybe, he stood a chance.

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nayoung's notes: it's been sixteen chapters and the only one who can accept the fact that they're in love is sunjae lmfao. hope you liked the chapter!

delphi's notes: gauge your eyes out with a spatula is crazyy. pop off ig.

next chapter: friday (out now!) list of chapters here!

It's my 2 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

happy two years to iheart-nana <33

𝐢𝐢. 𝗇𝖺𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗇𝗀'𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗀𝗎𝗂𝖽𝖾

books to start the new year right!

Atomic Habits- James Clear

Ikigai- Francesc Miralles and Hector Garcia

The Compound Effect- Darren Hardy

The Magic of Thinking Big- David J. Schwartz

Big Magic- Elizabeth Gilbert

The Dip- Seth Godin

Eat That Frog!- Brian Tracy

Surrounded by Idiots- Thomas Erikson

Rich Dad Poor Dad- Robert Kyosaki

The Secret Life of Money- Daniel Davies and Tess Read

goodbye, 2023!

♡　　⁺　as long as i'm here, no one can hurt you ˖　 (´-﹏-`) 🍊

like the moodboard? it's a teaser for an upcoming fanfic! make sure u follow me and stay tuned! thank you, bye!! <33

oc by @the-one-and-only-delphi

here's a hot take: how about you actually study instead of watching gilmore girls?

just know that this is completely self-directed thank you very much