Happiness Over Relationships,

You couldn’t give me the love I deserved

You hurt me really bad without regretting a single one of your moves

But I’ve learned that that’s okay

You broke me and had fun with it

I’ve grown from it, you’re still stuck

I won

~ excerpts of me moving on ~

Our story could fill a whole trilogy. But I’d never write it down because some things need to be left unsaid. Now gathering dust in the shelves our lives are made of.

“I’m going to succeed because I’m crazy enough to think I can”

It’s about you

I miss you since the last time we spoke. I wish I could bury my head into your hoodie and get one of these hugs I’ve been missing so dearly. I wish I could see your smile, knowing that I’m the person who made you laugh...

There’s so much that I’m wishing for in the moment, but I just want you to know that every single wish that appears in my head is

only

about

you

I realized that it got better when I finally found the courage to put my phone on silent over night for the first time

Not waiting for your usual 3am call anymore, like the ones I always got when we were still together

I’ll realize that I’m even better when I’ll get to sleep trough my first night without waking up, checking whether you called or not

I’m still proud of myself

One day, I’ll be able to be even prouder

~ excerpts of me moving on ~

It’s your birthday

I’ve feared this day for the past month

This night I woke up 8 times, thinking I forgot to tell you happy birthday as the first person on this special day like I always did, followed by a tight hug and a sweet kiss

Just to remember that you wouldn’t even answer the phone now if you’d see my name on the screen

And I’m hurt

Because I do wish you nothing but the happiest birthday ever, but I know I’m no longer part of it and I would ruin your day by saying hi

Happy birthday my love

May this year bring nothing but brightness to you

“Your mental health should be a priority”

A process I’m still stuck in

Missing you makes me feel weak

You shouldn’t miss someone who broke you

Someone who took advantage of your kindness

Someone who made you feel worthless, still does

Someone who treats you like an option

Someone who does not care if they hurt you

Someone who never thinks twice

Someone like you

But I still do

Learning to be alone again is a process I’m still stuck in

But deep down I know

Missing you is better than being mistreated by you

So fuck missing someone like you

~ excerpts of me moving on ~

I have drafts of poetry in my phone I won’t ever finish

Words I started writing when times were different

I won’t ever get to finish them because everything turned out different than the thoughts of the past anticipated it

Not better, not worse

But different

So I now have drafts of poetry in my phone that I can’t finish

Because out of all the “what ifs”, fate chose the one I was most scared of

And the words that were written in the past are to delicate to be burdened by destiny’s cruel choices of today

Your love hurts

I don’t know what it is about you

That makes you sabotage it every single time

Ripping craters into earth

Opening gates to what might be called hell

Standing on the edge, balanced

Grabbing my hand

Jumping

Clamped together

I never wanted to fall

Life on the edge was great

But again and again

You need us to hurt

So here we are

Falling

and falling

and falling

and falling

~ honestlywhatfor ~