Anyone Want Some Bones, I've Got Plenty To Spare

Farewell online privacy

Had a dream where mini golf was added to the Olympics. And one of the Olympic mini golf athletes lost the gold because she hit the windmill.

And she tweets with a picture of the windmill and the caption “bout to go through my Don Quixote phase” and honestly I think that’s the funniest thing my brain has ever come up with.

The song that plays over the supermarket PA system in Rabbids Go Home just started playing at work why do I remember this

dude i heard you were stuck at banjo kazooie's house & there's a big rain storm outside. are you okay? are you gonna be able to get home tomorrow? why do you keep calling it banjo kazooie's house, btw? thats two people dude, i don't think that's his legal name

Oh no, you crit failed summon monster! Instead of a monster you summon (roll a d20):

A single goblin who is unable to fight your enemies but is very enthusiastic to try

An unimpressed horse

The monster you wanted to summon, but high off its tits on acid

Ben Shapiro

An extremely confused Grey Knight Space Marine

Just a fuck ton of fancy soaps

Your own spleen

A mimic who's very embarrassed at being seen non-shapeshifted

The monster you want to summon but at 200mph

Every monster ever published in any D&D book ever all at once

The IRL game group

A heartwarming narrative about identity and personal growth in the american west

An asteroid the size of Scotland

The Discourse

An exact mental and physical copy of yourself who insists that they just summoned you

Your dad who went to the store to "get milk" 20 years ago

D&D First Edition

Late Stage Capitalism

The monster you wanted to summon but deconstructed into inch-square parts

My fist into your face. Fuck you.

The esteemed bastards have returned from their southernly trip

I want to just sit on a park bench for an hour near sunset and listen to nature, is that so much to ask

Do you know a recipe for an evil soup? Something to eat when you’re feeling villainous

CRUDE OIL

This website is well named because it makes me feel like I'm rotating in a contraption

Eh, fuck it, gimme that bagel news