The Song That Plays Over The Supermarket PA System In Rabbids Go Home Just Started Playing At Work Why

An actual idea: Making "Animate Dead" Evil Again

Zombies and skeletons in D&D, for all they play to spooky images, aren't really horrific. They're a mismash of two different lores that can't really work together (like a lot of zombie fiction but that's a discussion for another day)- the mindless ravenous predators of modern zombie apocalypse and the tragic undead slaves of the original stories. But they lack either sides symbolic resonance. They're no apocalypse- they're disposable cannon fodder even a starting party can take down- but nor is there any indication that "animate dead" is an actual evil act beyond being kinda gross. This seems very harmless for both a nominal horror monster, and something intended to be a genuinely (indeed, mechanically) evil act.

It doesn't seem possible to make them a real threat without major changes, so the obvious solution to this is a simple fluff change. They're not mindless. They're compelled, they can't act of their own volition. But they're still in there.

They don't shamble. They visibly struggle against the motions their limbs make, as if they were puppets trying to resist their strings. They don't moan. They sob, and when they see the players they force out desperate apologies and pleas for help. They're not stupid. They're intentionally twisting orders and trying to destroy themselves to the best of their ability because they hate the necromancer and are taking what vengeance they can.

Maybe they can genuinely help, if the players will accept it. The "disposable minions" see a lot, and might mutter the necromancer's weaknesses or warnings about an upcoming ambush or whatever useful information they've seen while attacking. Failing that, they fight to lose. They're easy to beat not because they're weak, but because they're on your side. They intentionally move to hinder the necromancer and help the party as much as they're able to, they interpret all the villain's orders as unhelpfully as they can, they hiss encouragements and laugh hollowly when the players succeed.

The undead hordes are victims, not monsters. They're the people the players are trying to help, or at least avenge. And they're trying, as best as they can, to make it happen.

-Pencil.

As you get older, you unlock more and more of the supermarket

Like the Great Value "Luncheon Meat" that is literally just Spam

I love every store brand product that tries to sound better than it actually is

Farewell online privacy

I've rarely seen a more validating sentence in my entire life.

I wish to be.

A little creature.

But genetics said.

"Hmm, above 6 foot".

5 days until the ooze arrives

Mew deciding to have a ‘no float’ day

Oh no, you crit failed summon monster! Instead of a monster you summon (roll a d20):

A single goblin who is unable to fight your enemies but is very enthusiastic to try

An unimpressed horse

The monster you wanted to summon, but high off its tits on acid

Ben Shapiro

An extremely confused Grey Knight Space Marine

Just a fuck ton of fancy soaps

Your own spleen

A mimic who's very embarrassed at being seen non-shapeshifted

The monster you want to summon but at 200mph

Every monster ever published in any D&D book ever all at once

The IRL game group

A heartwarming narrative about identity and personal growth in the american west

An asteroid the size of Scotland

The Discourse

An exact mental and physical copy of yourself who insists that they just summoned you

Your dad who went to the store to "get milk" 20 years ago

D&D First Edition

Late Stage Capitalism

The monster you wanted to summon but deconstructed into inch-square parts

My fist into your face. Fuck you.

Not so much a writing prompt but an idea I'd like to see in a story: completely unrelated alien species keep managing to evolve into Humans, much like crabs, and the galaxy/unuverse getting increasingly annoyed about it